Short Stories: Zombie in a Bottle

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gnomesweeeetgnome

Story by gnomesweeeetgnome

Published on Aug 27, 2012 in Read

Here at Etsy, we believe that the story behind an object is often just as fascinating as the object itself. Short Stories is our series dedicated to telling the tales behind extraordinary pieces found or created by Etsy sellers.

Today, A Sparkly Pony shares a chilling (and hilarious) story from her home on the glistening pastures, where the tiny undead roam.

The only unexpected house-guests that I have the pleasure of entertaining on semi-regular basis are ants. I never know when exactly they will arrive, but I know they will. I have yet to determine if their great migration up a wall, across the ceiling, and to nowhere in particular is at the same time every year or not.

Back in 2011, I was viewing the migration from behind my couch with a pair of binoculars. One can only imagine the horror I experienced when I saw a tiny, miniature zombie through my magnified vision, following the ant line and devouring the dedicated travellers one by one. It was no time at all before the line of ants turned into a line of tiny zombies.

I decided to break the prime directive and jump in-between the massacre (knowing that this undead migration interference was completely unnatural). After much discussion and several phone calls to the zombie consulate, the zombies were cryogenically frozen and promised to be re-homed to humans who could care for their carnivorous palette. Thus, the Zombie in a Bottle program was created, resulting in successful adoptions of zombies all over the globe. Each zombie is violently packed with sawdust in a miniature, rough-cut crate that is sealed with a packing label. Many candidates were interviewed, but only those zombies that were the most undead and hungry were selected.

Then my friends and family told me to stop making up colorful stories to explain my creations.  The truth: after cutting my Whale Tissue Holder parts on a table saw, I had a great deal of sawdust and a few small strips of wood left over. I wanted to challenge myself by getting the use of this lumber to almost 0% waste. I thought of a tiny crate with sawdust as the packing material for whatever was inside. From this, and my love of tiny model train people, Boyfriend in a Bottle was born. After Boyfriend in a Bottle was created, I received multiple requests for a Zombie in a Bottle. Knowing my customers are always right, the rest is history (and zombie apocalypse).

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