:) helpful... I teach art to elementary kids after school they pull out their games and hardly stay still. Still cute as buttons though!

Why do they have to sit still? They are children, they should run and jump, and have energy. Ironic how when we get older we wish we had the energy we once had as a child.

My kids are free to run and jump and wiggle as much as they please for most of every day (yay homeschooling!) but at certain times I do require that they be still. I think it's important for them to learn not only to quiet their bodies, but to quiet their minds, too. It's in the quiet of their minds that creativity emerges and important connections are made. I think it would be sad if my kids and I had to go off to a cabin in the woods to escape internet distractions. I would hope that our home could be that quiet place where we could think and create. For that reason, we don't watch TV (as in, we don't own one) and we try to limit our computer time. There's time enough to learn computer skills (including coding!) when the kids are older.

Haha...with a very active 7 year old this has been nearly impossible (which is a good thing). I love how much energy she has. I would love to bottle it up and sell it! We'd be rich for sure! The only time she has had to start practicing patience and being still is in school for certain learning activities. It was tough for all the kids at first but she's doing great now. Other than that she is on the move! =)

Don't forget to inform your kids that there are places around the world where people have never even heard of a computer. We are lucky to live in such an advanced society!

Interesting article. I am happy that my 3 and 4 year old are active most of the day. They know there is a time to play and a time to sit down and be quiet as well. This is done by sitting them down to color, I also provide them with preschool worksheets. I avoid tv and computer as much as I can with them even though they know how to use them to a degree. I am so lucky I grew up at a time when computers were not in all homes. Much more fun that way!

very interesting!

This article makes some good points in regards to preparing our kids for the future and what will be necessary for them to take on the challenges of the world...I too, believe teaching children to not only have quiet time but to appreciate it is important. To take this time to reflect inward and not always have the need to fill quiet time with unnecessary noise. Quietness is not a bad thing. Nobody is saying they shouldn't be allowed to be children and laugh and run and play - but there is a time and place for everything and to be functional adults, we must teach children this very important lesson/skill.

My kids are 4 and 6. We have o TV at home. They do watch the occasional movie/show on Netflix, but they do paint, play make believe and read a LOT. And they enjoy it. can't say I'm good about unplugging: I tend to check mail and etsy all day long between things, and it is distracting and breaks my day into little fragments in a way that isn't helpful. But I believe media, and 'online skills" can come later. Somebody needs to debunk what I commonly hear form parents: their kids are learning hand-eye-coordination form video games/ game apps:) My kids use the computer at school, noone has mentioned they are lacking in online or hand-eye skills:) They have noticed though that they are prolific readers and very good at making stuff.

Interesting

Interesting article.

What an interesting article! I don't have any children myself, but I have lots of nieces and nephews. It always amazes me how quick they are to pick up on technological advances! Thanks for sharing!

Kids need to be outside with the sunshine and fresh air as much as possible.

We have never been big on TV, although we have them for watching the occasional movie or newscast. Don't have cable - never did. Our only daughter is an intense reader, and has never complained about missing it. When we need to ground her (which is rare), she becomes "Amish." No cell phone, no internet, no iPod - but we are thinking that this is not really much of a punishment, because she has learned to value stillness and likes the "down time." She will simply gravitate to a book or be very creative with her nails, or take up one of the many crafty projects she has strewn about her room. She misses the music the most, but then it gives her the extra motivation to pick up her violin, flute or these days, her guitar - unplugged, of course!

We have never been big on TV. We have them to watch the occasional movie or newscast, but don't have cable and never did. Our only daughter (15) is an intense reader, and has never complained about missing it. When we need to ground her (which is rare) she becomes "Amish." No cell phone, no iPod, no internet. We are questioning if this is really much of a punishment, though, because she has learned to value stillness, and likes the "down time." She will simply gravitate to a good book, be creative about doing her nails, or pick up one of the many crafty projects she has strewn about her room. She misses the music the most, but then it encourages her to pick up her flute, violin, or these days her acoustic guitar.

Sorry for the double post. Looks like I am the one that is technologically challenged!

I LOVE this! It's funny because I think it is hard for creative people to be still. That is when all my best ideas come. When I'm trying so hard NOT to think.

I don't have kids but my husband and I have never had a tv. I highly recommend it. We spend our time cooking great meals together, going on walks, and working on our interests (including my Etsy shop). We have the internet when we want to see a movie or hear about something in pop culture that we just have to see. I have friends that say they "have the tv on for background noise". I've never understood that, and I love not having to listen to commercials. I don't know that we'll ever bring tv back for our kids mostly because it's just not something important enough for us to spend our money on and I think when your at home and you don't have a tv you can focus on yourself and each other.

Being still has great benefits to our health, both mental and physical. We need to rest and replenish. I think it's an important life lesson that would have great benefit to any age person. Like anything the more you do something the better you get at it. I think learning this skill early in life would serve a person/soul well. Being a christian myself it brings this scripture to mind: Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I am a children's dance teacher, and I absolutely LOVE high energy kids - they're the most fun to watch on stage! However, I do think that stillness of the mind is essential to everyone's mental health. Children are way too over exposed to television and computers. They are so used to the flashing images that change every second that when they are placed in a slow paced classroom setting they grow bored and restless. Yes, computer skills are important if you want your kids to be able to compete for jobs one day, but I'm all about balance. Find a happy medium between TV, books and physical activity.

As a mother of a very active 4-year old, this article definitely relates! My son loves my iPad (he thinks it's his - no, really!) and already has a multitude of his own "computer games" on the iPad. he's also a fan of several websites (kidscbc.ca, jacksonpollock.org, etc), and he knows he can watch some of his favorite shows on youtube. Technology, for him, also means he can watch his favorite TV shows on Netflix - and just like Miles, my son expects to be able to watch it anywhere. Unplugging, and "finding stillness" in our house revolves around quality time centered around our son. He finds it easier to let go of the technological distractions when HE is the center of attention. I love to read and I have bought him some of my favorite childhood books. Shel Silverstein's Where the Sidewalk Ends has quickly become one of his favorite books, along with The Giving Tree and Don't Bump The Glump. This is probably one of my most favorite moments when we both unplug. Sitting quietly and reading together. He finishes the sentences on the books he's read dozens of times, and often asks me to read a poem over and over. I love it! And, this one's pretty obvious, I think - I encourage him to craft! We've painted, coloured, baked, decoupaged, made paper mache, etc. Unplugging is healthy for everyone! I have a really hard time disconnecting sometimes (so much to do, so much to read, so much to photoshop - lol)...but when I do, I never regret it. Thanks for a great read!

I absolutely agree that there should be both, loudness and fun for kids as much as stillness for them to relax, for their nerve system to feel and understand the difference between calm and action. If you feel that your child is too active - you have to bring in more activities, like sports, family walks to the park and things like this so that child, coming back home is exhausted and wants to sleep or feels calm and does draw or play with toys. I feel like I would like to restrict all the technologies at home for little kids till they are 6-7 ( When they start going to school)... I bet till that time they will learn how to play with daddies phone or how to spoil mommies word documents anyway :) In elementary school they don't use computer technologies that much and they just start to learn it. And when they will - this is where your little ones can get access to PC, MACs and so on. But only for home work purposes. I also think, that if you are spending enough time with your child - he/she won't need hours and hours of addictive computer games, TV shows e.c.t Family, little friends - this is what will make them feel loved and will make them understand our World as it is, in creative way, as we do feel it. When time comes - make sure you give your child all education, all the new technologies ... but also make sure you are paying enough attention to your child, so that when time comes - Computer technologies are not replacing yourselves and Skype is not replacing nice games in the yard with other healthy kids! I think it's all about healthy balance between you, your kids and technology World!

Hmmm....I still don't like to be still!

We kept Sundays as quiet, at-home day. We would sleep, read, study, rest and relax and energize for the next week. My children didn't understand why friends couldn't come over and they couldn't go anywhere. Now that they are adults, they say they appreciate "quiet Sundays". Of course we didn't have all the technology then that we have now. Not sure how I would have handled that. It would be hard to keep me off the computer for long.

had no idea that you can get Timmy Time in the US! it's great isn't it? :D

What a great article! I want to read the book now! :-)

My son is asking me to read a story as I work and I think I'll read the story and get off the computer now. Thanks. From me and my son.

My house is almost always quiet. We seldom play music and never have the TV on as background noise. I'm so perplexed as to why there must always be TVs going or music blaring in public places. It makes me crazy, but I think a lot of people have become conditioned to it. Once, I was sitting in the lunch room of an office I used to work in. It was blissfully quiet. One of my colleagues walked in and said "We really need some music in here." I told her I preferred the quiet.

The computer is way to easy for me to access in my home. I am a stay at home Mom and the internet seems to be my only personal time in a day. But in reality I'm wasting time on the internet when I could be crocheting more or even reading a book when my little one gives me these small chances throughout the day.

My journey involved 12 years in zen monasteries and what i call "subway mind" can follow you anywhere. A good skill to know is how to quiet down the monkey mind. thoughtful piece, thank you.

It's interesting on a rhetoric level that the term "stillness" now somehow seems to naturally indicate the notion of being "unplugged." That's pretty loaded when you consider that being plugged in is typically a very movement-free and physically still activity, which tends to punctuate the traditional spiritual notion of everything "stillness" implies. Applying that, we then have spiritual peace (stillness) equaling distance from technology, and its resulting counter, that psychic/spiritual busy-ness/turbulence/warfare equaling the partaking of constant technology or plugged-in-ness. Again, just a response to the rhetorical aspects of the post. I think as we get more and more filled with the plugged-in norm, we'll see more and more traditionally spiritual and religious terms describing the situation like this, as we struggle to maintain or define new and more-blurred-than-ever boundaries between the inner/outer, secular/spiritual, special/mundane--and it might be wise to take note of them as we tend to collectively apply them to and accept them alongside very big ideas that are associated with transition.

I don't believe that this article is titled correctly. Teaching children to be still, and be able to cope in an ever evolving world of technology are not the same thing. I have a two month old son, and he will learn to use and take advantage of the newest technology- however, he will be taught the necessity and joy that comes from removing technology from your life. Life is food, and family, sunshine and fresh air- not Internet images, television shows, and Facebook.

we very much limit our children's access to technology... other than listening to audio books they have do not spend much time with it (we do not even own a television). i have never feared they would be left out or left behind... i believe in human beings ability to adapt to new things when they need too. i did not not grow up with internet or smart phones but have no problem using them now... but i don't feel like i have to know everything about them in order to get something out of them. if you are looking for a source of stillness and calm i would recoemmned finding a quaker meeting. it is a wonderful experience to sit in silence for an hour with a group of people. they are wonderfully inviting, regardless of your personal faith. they often have a time during the meeting when children are encouraged to participate as well (and child care for the rest). they are a wonderful way to find respite in a very busy world, and a great lesson for children and adults alike.

so true. Try to delay as much as you can exposure to vide game, game boy, and electronics. It is important for child development in many ways to create things with their hands. Computer gives passive entertainment, not creative one, in my opinion it limits imagination. I have 2 teenager boys, and it is almost impossible to take them away from computers, and I guess you cannot completely. The world is going in different direction. I totally agree with the post. You need to learn to stop and take a break... and teach the skill to your children.

i used to nanny three children which I still see occasionally but not nearly as often anymore. The two boys are so plugged into watching television, they will literally flail their bodies and throw a fit if you suggest they should turn off they tv and go do something else. They are active otherwise, josh may just become one of the greatest soccer players and noah has his interests too but when the tv goes on they are "plugged in" and it's the first thing they go to when they walk through the door after school. Now the baby girl has discovered barney after much resistance from her mother to place her in front of the tv and that show is probably at the very top of her list of happy. These kids also have their ipod touch's and all the video games you could dream of. I think when I have children I will have the tv shut up in a big armoire so it's not just sitting there waiting to be watched. Easy to say i know, but it's a step. We can't control the world we live in and how it's changing but we can make small improvements in our own worlds.

I believe that all external stimuli comes from an internal disease called 'more' . How can a child's life find fulfillment when they see their parents insatiable desire to have an ever increasing number of material things coupled with their total disregard for the happiness those things were supposed to have provided. Life becomes a journey of accumulation of the unimportant. The antidote is gratitude.We cannot unplug ourselves from external stimuli unless or until we are willing to accept responsibility for all that we have, including our deficiencies, with a sincere debt of gratitude. Take a deep breath and count to zen.

Absolutely love this post. So helpful nowadays.

Thank you! So helpful!

Teaching by example has remained a pretty good staple through out many generations.

I have a large family and have done my share of caring for other children and now that I am becoming an older parent my views of this subject have changed. I used to think -let them play and be kids and have fun but I now feel it is good for them -as a matter of respect and learning self control and how to cope in different environments -that children know how to be still at times and be quiet -still being mindful enough to have lots and lots of fun too! I try to take the fun outdoors when weather permits and try to spark their creativity indoors for the colder Winter season! -- Love Etsy!!!

My 2 year old has a ton of energy. I don't think he would understand how to use a computer though. How do you teach a 2 year old to sit at the computer and understand what to do? He gets so frustrated with things and then starts getting upset when he can't do it either.

I am loving all of the posts about no TV. When I tell people we don't have one they look at me like I'm crazy. We unplugged 7 years ago and haven't missed it. My now 8 yr old daughter isn't exposed to the advertising or the latest "fads" except from what she sees at school and I think it has translated into a very well balanced attitude about material things. She asks friends to bring donations for the animal shelter on her birthday and for Christmas she asked Santa for she and her brother to stay healthy. The unintended experiment is still unfolding but I can't imagine fitting in TV time in our house or dealing with the consequences of exposure to the ads and noise.

one magic word... LEGOS. oh, and I guess no TV. Our kids have their imaginations and attention span intact! And manners too, now that I think about it... parents be bold and do what you suspect might be best.

Caleb calls himself an "amateur father" but he's way ahead of most first-time dads. Every time I go out shopping and am distracted by other people's badly behaved children, I worry about the future. So far it looks like the people who don't know the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior are taking over the country. I remember a time when, for example, a library was a place of quiet, where anyone could go to experience silence and its calming effect. Today, a library is so full of noise, you can hardly hear yourself think, and some of the loudest noise is coming from the library employees. It's encouraging to learn from this article and those who've responded to it that there are young people who plan to give their children VALUES by teaching them that there's a time to be silent or quiet as well as a time to communicate.

Articles worth reading regarding children and the benefits of play: www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2011/10/all-work-and-no-play-why-your-kids-are-more-anxious-depressed/246422/ www.nytimes.com/2011/10/23/technology/at-waldorf-school-in-silicon-valley-technology-can-wait.html?pagewanted=all

We're a no TV family, no Netflix (etc.) ncluded. When we learned that the waves emitted from a TV cause our brains to drift off to sleep into a Delta wave pattern, we said goodbye. It's the same effect on our brain as staring at a blank wall, no matter how educational or profitable the material. The brain waves seen during hypnosis are very similar to those measured in people watching television, and it only takes less than 60 seconds for our brains to be transported to this very suggestible state. TV sponsors have run with this information, and will say the craziest things in adds, like, "The crispy, crunchy, gooey, so-and-so, is exactly what you've been longing for." It is?! We prefer a more critical approach to thinking, and are taking the years when our 5 kids have the most brain power, to lay the foundation for good, clear thinking (we hope). Technology can be grasped efficiently and timely enough if there is a good working (and mature) mind on the other end.

This is very throught provoking in a good way. As a young woman who has plans of children in the future, I often contemplate how I will raise my kids, what I will allow and expose them to, etc. I am increasingly appalled by the length to which children and even adults are relient upon modern technological luxuries. I make an active decision in my life not to let the distractions of iPads, iPhones, television, and the internet have a hold on me. I have spent extended periods of time away from these things, and have found that I did not miss them in the least. When I see people with cell phones who can't look up from texting or surfing the internet to have a normal conversation, it makes me wary of too much time spent in front of a screen. I watched my fair amount of TV as a child, but I also spent plenty of time playing with legos, barbies, and an array of toys that let my imagination run wild. I hope that I can teach my children to enjoy simple things without seeming like the "no fun" mom. I, too, often have the desire to escape from everyday life, which I fulfill with camping, hiking, and anything that can get me out in the natural world. I am glad to see that so many people are concious of what they expose their children to.

Calm, peace, quiet - it's essential that children be comfortable in their own quiet space; in that place inside themselves where they can hear themselves THINK. And it doesn't have to involve a trip into the wilderness.

Great Post! Thought Provoking... Keep thinking about balance Still trying to find mine.. Hopefully our children will be able to find theirs

Caleb, I love this post! Yes, we believed in moderating all technology in our house, so much so, that we forbid video games of any kind in our home! Of course, we were by far the meanest parents :) We just did not want the kids in front of the tv, computer, or plugged in all day. Of course, now there's social networking sites that parents have to monitor which is really one step further and adds fuel to the fire I think. The irony to this story is, our son is now working on his Master's Degree in, what else, Computer Science :)

Great post. I have three little boys and no they don't often stay physically still but that isn't the point. It is about having a break from mental chaos which comes from "on demand" tv, internet, video games, etc. Our children need a detox from those things every once and awhile. Children need to learn how to use their brains differently. Sometimes too much technology prohibits a young brain from being excerised and from learning to think out things on its own.

We are constantly bombarded by everyone else's noise. From the radio in the car to the in-store sound system, from the clamor of traffic to the intimate details of the life of the person next to you speaking on their cell phone, noise is ever-present. True quiet is nearly extinct. I wonder if such masters as Beethoven, Dickens or DaVinci would have created anything at all extraordinary if never left alone with just the thoughts in their heads? How well can we really know ourselves if we never get a chance to ponder the still, small voices?

I suppose my parents were a bit careless. I was raised on watching television; it occupied a significant amount of the day when I was a kid. It's also probably why I have a tv addiction now as an adult. But, I can honestly say that there is no substitution for some good times outside in the backyard or park, just to get some fresh air and sunshine. Even though I was raised with the tv on 24/7, I still value the quietness whenever possible.

When my son was little, it seemed as if sometimes he would beg me to make him sit still for a while. He would start getting so wound up and could not control his actions. I would set a timer for 10 minutes and tell him he had to sit still and read or something. He would be so MAD at me! I would not start the timer until he was quiet. After the 10 minutes he was a normal loving boy again.

Teaching children how to be still is hard, especially my brother when he was a kid, but my parents were managed to. ;)

I am kind of thinking that what this article was referring to is the inability of so many youngsters today to simply sit still when appropriate and be quiet without the aid of an electronic device. Wherever I go I am amazed at the kids who simply do not know how to quietly maintain themselves. I am a champion of rough and tumble bounce about...but not every minute of every day calls for that type of rambunctiousness. How wonderful for a child to be able to sit in a car, a church pew, under a tree, wherever, and be quite content to just pause and think for a spell. No one wants a couch potato kid, but do they all need to be in a constant whir? No. Unplugged quiet time is a necessity...else how does anyone learn to be content just with their imaginations?

know that feeling, my son's mind is going 1000mph...can't get him to slow down, sometimes.

Great article! As a middle school teacher, I don't think that kids can have enough opportunites to just be still. Everyone needs time free of distractions to allow the mind to think in its traditional way.

Very interesting article! I think that, if we take a moment to take our kids for a walk, admire nature, listening to the birds and the wind, looking for ants and other insects, and enjoying a beautiful day they will learn to take a break in their busy lives when they grow older. We do not have to teach them to stay still, just show them, by example, how to enjoy other things besides jumping, running , technology etc.

It's interesting that so many responses define "still" as "not moving". There is a difference between "not moving" and "calm". All are part of being human. Being calm is easiest for some people in a stimulus-free environment. Being calm is possible while moving - running, riding the bus, etc., etc.. Depending on how one's mind works, there are times when calm is impossible due to overstimulation - I'm very auditory, so noise of any kind makes it hard for me to achieve calm. As to children, they need to be taught what they don't know. I have always been able to be calm, and I know kids who can. I know other kids who have learned it. I've taught it to kids who have asked me to teach them. It is not important that children [and adults!] learn to be calm, or be still, because someone thinks it's a good idea. It IS important to learn it because people have to be able to listen to [thanks, swan mountain] those still, small voices which are part of their true selves. And there are as many ways to get there as there are people. Thanks, Caleb. TKE

geez, how do i keep him still aside from letting him play roblox for a long time? seriously, the longest he can be still is 10min, which we scheduled every 6:50-7pm every night to keep him relaxed before/during dinner. but, thanks for sharing that article, and your thoughts.

Children are made for running, and jumping, laughing, clapping, riding, throwing snow balls, playing in water, blowing bubbles, laughing some more, etc. Mine "sit still" when they sleep, which is just fine with me.

Like a lot of things, patience and calmness are influenced by how patient and calm the adults are in a young person's life. Accepting their natural energy is necessary, of course, but children also appreciate quiet and stillness. Finding activities they can become absorbed in such as art or legos or karate will help them become focused and still as they grow.

For us, hiking and outdoor activities are best. Everyone loves them, including the dog!

Having 9 children, we have seen vast differences in their levels or activity, attention spans, etc. but with all of them we start well before they are one year old to "increase" their attention span by teaching them to be bored. We gently stretch them in this area as they grow older and never even considered how odd it looked with all these little and older kids when we walked into a restaurant and they did not tear around...they sat, ate, laughed and enjoyed, but they did not distract others. We brought them everywhere, and we could because they had been trained ahead of time when it is time to tear around and be loud ( at least 2 hours a day outside and even inside at the appropriate times!) and when it is time to sit and draw, read a book, or just look out a window at the birds. Don't get me wrong, we have 6 laptops in this house, gaming systems ( which my husband and I refuse to buy or contribute to, so the kids have to buy them on their own), 5 cell phones (kids pay for their own again), and I have lost count of the t.v.s as the kids find them in odd places, fix them, trade them....haha! They are extremely computer savvy, energetic, creative, etc. and I would encourage all parents to teach their children "stillness" ...not just staying still, but sitting, with your own thoughts, thinking in the quietness of a snowstorm, while hiking in the woods, while watching the dragonflies take over your side yard, while watching a camp fire. Enjoy!!

Yes! My tow year old son sits in the middle of the kitchen floor and is surrounded by crayons.. I think that he's working on some kind of theatre production with his colourful cast. I can see the change in him when he spends time with family members who never turn the TV off.. and basically live in a semi-circle around it. It makes me cringe. There's definitely something to be said for a well-rounded life that involves learning in every aspect.. planting, growing, making, fixing, cooking, imagining, loving, becoming. If world wide research will help in the learning, by all means.. our family loves the documentaries found on Netflix as well. It's aggressive advertising and unhealthy paradigm encouragement that we don't love so much.

We are yet to find what would be the effect of the information frenzy and mayfly technologies on current and future generations. As a child, my access to a TV was limited, but the theatre, the opera, the art galleries were a constant part of my life. We travelled often, we lived around the world...my parents could have simply placed me in front d the TV set and forgot about me, but they did not. That does not mean I have no understanding or can't make a good use of the new technologies; on the contrary. What it means, hopefully, is that I have a more wholesome approach to live and an appreciation for constant values. I hope I can do the same for my children one day.

Interesting :)

I don't think what is meant buy stillness is actual physical stillness but a stillness of mind (not being plugged in all the time) being a mother of 3 boy's 9,5 and 8 mnths it is difficult to get them to be phyisically still!!! in the weekday's they are allowed an hour of "electronics" and then I invite them to help us in the kitchen ,be creative with toy's and art ,read etc... we also take them for an hour in the evening to our place of worship and sit down to breakfast and dinner to a home cooked meal every day (weekday's) btw we have 2 computer's and 2 i phones and a various video game outlet's NEVER had to teach them how to use!

I always try and set aside a little quiet time everyday but its tough! I usually escape to the studio though where its quiet and you can concentrate on the task at hand without distractions...

I was raised in the days well before home computers, cell phones and video games. I played outside a lot, read books, and hand-wrote letters. I was expected to sit quietly at church and at the library and at public assemblies of any kind. Perhaps parents today do not have the same expectations of children as my parents did. Children rise to the expectations of their parents, high or low. Manners are taught and not casually "picked-up" along the way. Quietness and stillness are also taught to some degree and modeled by adults. As for limiting media consumption, turn off the t.v. or don't get cable. Don't buy video games/players-there is a word when children protest: just say NO. How do I embrace stillness in my own life? Prayer to the Living God and reading my Bible.

I really enjoy your posts, Caleb! I think its important that home can be the kind of place you are talking about too. Although we like to travel somewhere remote (no tv, no internet) at least once a year, it shouldn't be necessary to go somewhere else to not be bombarded by media. And I agree with Holdthewire - even a couple of hours in the woods works wonders!

I think there is a time and place to let my kids watch tv, use the computer, etc., but I believe in limiting it! My kids seem happiest when they are using their imaginations and playing in their own little made up believe world, than when one is being made up for them. Quietness is difficult in these times, but it can happen!

This is excellent! I was having this exact conversation with a friend of mine a few days ago. Santa brought my son a Wii this year with the Skylanders game and he is particularly attached to it. We already limit his "technology access"- it's scary when my 6 year old can download apps and games to my iPhone easier than I can! I think the direction technology is taking our world is amazing, but there has to be an appropriate balance.

Wonderful article, as the mother of two young men that are now 22 and 19, I can say that I observed in them, their friends and their classmates the beginning of the technological dependency wave that was coming. I noticed when kids became accustomed to the speed and instant gratification that technology is able to provide for us, they sometimes struggled without the ability to focus on one thing for a length of time (and I do mean focus, not "be entertained"). While I'm sure there are other ways of achieving the ability to focus, I found reading to our kids when they were small (with an actual book!) to be a simple way for our kids to learn to be still and enjoy watching a story unfold. Later they had a much longer attention span than their peers, which ultimately lead to better grades in school.

As a family, we unplug in the wilderness. We regularly camp and hike. Finding special places often requires long drives, which, to me, counts as "down time". The kids are bored at first, but after a day or so settle in to the new slower flow, and by the time we arrive they are ready to explore and enjoy what's in front of them. They complain about being bored, but that just says to me that their minds are turning on in a different way. I've read that many brilliant people came up with some of their best insights when they were bored and their minds were wandering. I try to keep that in mind and not always jump to find entertainment for my kids when they tell me they are bored.

Balance in family life is important....balance as a human being even more important.

Very tender heartening article!! :) Webmaster of diamondback mountain

Knowing how to be still, quiet, and observe carefully are all critical skills to master, no matter which profession(s) one pursues. Currently, I’m working as a student teacher for Visual Art Education K-8th. I’m only 9 -14 years older than my students, yet I’m still amazed at how different our generations are. Patience and practice are needed to produce some forms of art, and I’m finding that many of my students struggle with this. Just like we must teach children their ABC’s before they can spell, we must now also teach stillness before they can draw.

Nice article; thought provoking. I'm a musician, and I find it interesting that most musicians have to learn to appreciate silence in music. I think most of us are uncomfortable when there is a moment of silence in a piece we are performing. As I age, I appreciate the silence more and more. It enhances a composition in various ways, such as adding drama, space for a mood change, or a needful rest for the ears. All of us need still moments,too......especially when we need to reflect, meditate, or pray.

So true! Our quiet time is spent bicycling, walking, fishing and crabbing. Mine of course is my art work and my time at home while others are at school or work. So I hope it all evens out for all of us.

I have always moderated my son's media consumption, because with too much he's a different child. But only recently have I started thinking about teaching him to be still and maybe even meditate but he's so active and its hard to get that concept across. But like everything else, I plug in the thoughts when I can. Thanks for the article!! Its nice to know Im not the only parent saying no to the screens :)

When they are at the hermitage, I bet they are at a location that does not suffer from light pollution, either. Those lucky L.A. kids will actually get to see the stars at night!

I'm so excited by what I'm reading here! I've taken a leap of faith (in myself), abandoned convention and produced my own DVD for preschoolers. Digital technology enabled me to work with like minded talent, and bypass the the broadcast market and merchandisers who mandate the inclusion of all the elements we know are not good for children. I don't want to turn this into a sales pitch. But let you know that there are serious professionals who are struggling to make healthy fun stuff for media conscious families!

so far I have resisted giving my twin 5 year olds anything that is computerized. They will join the world of the computer soon enough- in kindergarten I suppose. It is so important to maintain peace in your own head and the longer you can hold off external noises the better. As a painter, for me it is essential to have studio time and be unplugged

Yes. My interest is in media literacy. Children will eventually need to learn how to filter what the environment throws at them, and become discerning viewers. By limiting, or eliminating, you give children the chance to built the spaces in their minds to create. The media I create is predicated on making a space for them to fill. Causing them to interpret and tell the story of what they are seeing. By setting expectations for what media can do, how it can engage active viewing, children will have very different expectations when they begin to make their own decisions on how to spend their time.

I believe are kids are overstimulated not only by the digital devices we have but by our constant desire to help them learn every chance they get. I think its important to teach my son to appreciate what is around. During our "quiet time" we sit outside and look at the wind blow the leaves in the trees or look at clouds. I think in this digital age its easy to forget the simple joys of watching them closely examine blades of grass.

Great article - and geat reminder of the importance of "down time".

I try to limit my kids to one hour at a time on a device. That can be tough when they have our new family iPad calling their names.

I work with kids and I always see the positive effect on them when all.. lets say, electronic distractions are away for a while. At first they are of course annoyed that they are not allowed to play computer games and such, which I understand because they are used to it. Then they get bored, restless and often start annoying each other, simply because they cannot seem to find a way to spend time in a restful/creative/different way. These things are not positive, but after a while they get used to it and suddenly their minds starts to solve the 'bored-annoyed' problem. Suddenly I see the biggest gamer of the group in a corner, writing, when I ask what he is writing he answers 'I am going to write a real book'. Then the most bored kid is suddenly organizing a new type of hide and seek he just came up with (and 8 smaller kids are following :)) And three young girls, suddenly have ideas out of no-where, about a super big castle for the youngest kids in the group, build from boxes and decorated with flowers and paint. They ask me if they are allowed to do this.. which 'ofcourse' they are :D I love it when this happens. Kids are super fun, super creative, and very very good at spending time in nice ways. They just have to get used to it, and then everything starts to flow. I do belief that this 'skill' will be extremely useful later on.

I hope in this creative environment, a few young families will accept my offer of a complimentary copy of my work. Please convo me to make arrangements. I wouldn't be doing this unless I was confident that most will be surprised and delighted, as well as how well it meshes with the up bringing they are already providing. :) Mary Burzynski

I think that children need personal interaction with their parents and friends the most. My 4 year daughter was off from preschool today. Usually, I would spend a few hours playing with her or take her somewhere for a play date, but I was not able to do it today because I am still recovering after a surgery I had a couple of days ago. Well, she watched some TV, then she played on computer, then she played by herself, and finally by 6 pm she started crying desperately because she was so bored and lonely. My little sweetheart prefers her mommy's company to any digital device.

Yes, and that's exactly the point of my work. Thanks for bringing it up. Creating another bonding opportunity by have a shared experience that takes on a creative life of it's own between parent and child. Giving voice to issues concerns and perspectives that a child can't easily express. Children laugh and have fun, start talking, comparing and sharing, and initiate roll model plan with family and friends. It's not about what's on the screen, it's about life off the screen. I realize the natural resistance I'm facing, but my offer is stands. And if you visit my shop you can link to You Tube to experience the difference, the pace, brevity and content. Reception has my excellent from child experts and the medical community as well as artist and very happy young children who are not tube babies.

For those who are drawn to stillness as well as spiritual community, a Friends (Quaker) Meeting can offer a wonderful experience for children. When babies and young children grow up with the weekly experience of being in the stillness of a meeting for worship, their little faces peer around with interest at the 30 (?) or so Friends sitting together in the "pregnant" quiet of worship. A young child can perceive some sense of being in a group that is resting in the Divine, in Love, stilling their minds and listening inwardly. The parent can take their child out of the worship room when the child is ready - or at a set time when other children leave. Love surrounds children in my meeting. An unusual experience in this world, often filled with noise and distractions!

Interesting article :) I have two children and though they are both very active, they do often, if not for very long, have quiet time to themselves. They love drawing and painting or just playing with Legos or stuffed animals. It's amazing what they come up with in their quiet, still moments. I think there is a lot of creativity that comes from it.

I would love to see TV become an occasional treat, to be indulged in just once in a while, instead of the always-on, blaring background to our lives. I don't see that anything positive comes of having the TV on constantly for kids, or adults either, for that matter. I think teaching children to be quiet within themselves from time to time is an excellent idea - and I think that children need to learn how to entertain themselves, as well. What ever happened to just reading a good book or playing with dolls with your best friend? Does that even happen any more?

Thanks to Ferrijoe and Shipwreckdandy for some insightful posts. I think it's interesting that a number of folks posting seem to have misconstrued "stillness" as meaning a lack of noise/activity etc. I thought Caleb was talking more about the absence of constant outside stimuli that creates a kind of mental noise that can tend to drown out ones' own internal dialogue. By that I mean: when you are constantly bombarded with media/games/ads/shows etc, it doesn't allow for any time to reflect...and I think that lack of reflection is highly problematic. Ferrijoe (I think) was saying that many people are caught up in this cycle of crave/buy/crave/buy without achieving the "happiness" or whatever the producers of these items promised their customers. This pattern I think is a result of constant media bombardment to the point where people do not reflect on what they see, but become purely reactive. They become prey to the manipulations of advertising, and media outpourings that are secretly motivated by profit (not content). How can a child learn to be discerning and develop their own opinions, if not for "quiet" reflective time. There's a great blog called teachertomsblog.blogspot.com where a pre kinder teacher talks about the value of letting kids experiment and play in way that allows them full creative license over what they're doing. The toys and activities he offers kids are all about allowing kids discover stuff for themselves, and this requires a kind of mental "quiet", free from media/technological blah blah blah. He does not make them sit still, and does not ban loud noise and he doesn't get in the way of a kinds mental processes. He just lets them get on with being the creative Beings they naturally are. How do we make something so simple so uneccessarily complicated?

WELL said! ferrijoe says: I believe that all external stimuli comes from an internal disease called 'more' . How can a child's life find fulfillment when they see their parents insatiable desire to have an ever increasing number of material things coupled with their total disregard for the happiness those things were supposed to have provided. Life becomes a journey of accumulation of the unimportant. The antidote is gratitude.We cannot unplug ourselves from external stimuli unless or until we are willing to accept responsibility for all that we have, including our deficiencies, with a sincere debt of gratitude. Take a deep breath and count to zen.

"there is more than one way to bake a cake.........Or raise a child" however, books, music, pencils, paper, play dough, legos and good old fashioned play will surely raise a strong mind and body much better than one raised on video games, television and electronic gaming devices.

I haven't read through all the comments but I did see several that seem to imply that constant movement or energy is the way things should be for young children. As a grandmother I'd like to disagree. Learning to be quiet and introspective helps add balance to a person, even a young child with lots of energy. One of the best things to do is read to a child, hold the child next to you and share the experience. Of course, that requires a parent take the time to sit down, too, and frequently that's hard with so many things going on, but children have only one childhood. Speaking from experience, they grow too fast. The other suggestion is that I think every home with a child should have a rocking chair. It's movement, but it's soothing movement. Teach your children that it's okay to relax, to de-stress. They will thank you for the quiet times when they are older. Why do you think Mr. Rogers was so popular for so long?

I love this article and i need to say you THANK YOU. Really. thank you simona

I'd like to echo anticovalore's comment above... just a simple thank you. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaah, what a world we could have if we learned to slow down and THINK =-)

love this. Working as a nanny for my "day job" I incorporate much of this as well, just wish others would follow suit!

Kids are too used to multi-tasking these days. And take it from this English teacher, they need to be able to sit still and read! It's so tough to get teens to read...even when they select their own novels to read.

While I agree that it is essential for our children to be literate in a "Digital World" I think it is equally important for children to use their imaginations in the way I did as a child...outdoors and without electronic stimulation! It is important for a child to experience a tangible world not just through television and the web.

I was immediately drawn to the title of your article. I have a very active child who is always on the go and the only time she sits down quietly is when she draws. And thanks goodness for that. In our household, we practice moderation when it comes to exposure of technology. Living in a small vibrant city like Singapore, it's even more essential for us to pack up and go somewhere remote once a while to "reset".