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And since I couldn't find my perfect tote, I made them myself!
Introducing the Dancing Bear Tote bags, screen-printed right here in Portland, OR. They measure 14"x15", with an 11" strap drop (which, to me, is the perfect handle-length to carry over the shoulder).
This mischievous pair are printed on natural-colored medium weight canvas, in inky black with tomato-red highlights.