FRONT SAYS:
Don’t you hate those cards where you open them and instead of something cool like cash or a check or a gift card, there’s some stupid message that says
... and all I got you was this lousy card!
What bullshit.
INSIDE SAYS:
So I got you an imaginary boyfriend.
[in small print] I hear he's really good at fu-...
feng-shui.
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SIMILAR ITEMS
See the "imaginary girlfriend" version of this card at:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/60567223/funny-birthday-card-i-got-you-an
See full selection of birthday cards:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/VixensEmpire?section_id=6769962
Take advantage of the “buy 2 cards, get free shipping” offer:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/91353985/buy-2-cards-get-free-shipping-domestic
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FOR RECIPIENT
If you want to have the card sent directly to the card's intended recipient, please include his/her shipping address in "message to the seller” during checkout, as well as a personalized message for the recipient, which will be printed in a handwriting-esque font. Sending cards to multiple addresses will require an additional shipping charge, to be paid through Paypal.
MATERIALS
Matte cardstock is perfect for writing on without ink smudging like on many glossy store-bought cards. All cards and envelopes are made of partially recycled contents.
Card: 5.125" x 7” (13 cm x 17.8 cm) 80 lb. bright white FSC-certified cardstock, printed with Epson Photo Stylus 1400
Envelope: A7 5.25” x 7.25” (13.4 cm x 18.4 cm) 60 lb. holiday red, comes with adhesive strip that doesn’t require icky licking
All cards arrive in individual cellophane sleeves for protection during shipping. Keeps card clean and pretty until you're ready to share it.
TX RESIDENTS
Apologies to my fellow Texans, but I have to charge 8.25% sales tax. Laaaame.
SHIPPING
My shop offers some of the lowest shipping prices among greeting card sellers on Etsy! BE EXCITED.
All orders are shipped in 1 to 3 days via USPS First Class mail and arrive quickly within the continental United States. If you are short on time, please request RUSH when you check out. Expedited shipping is available if you buy the upgraded shipping option at https://www.etsy.com/listing/101602363/upgrade-to-expedited-shipping-usps International shipping available. Orders going overseas are shipped with a rigid back board to ensure cards arrive in good condition.
TINY BITS OF AWESOMENESS
One of the many things that makes my cards awesome is the tiny text written on the back of the card along the spine, where I include an anecdote about what inspired the card or some hilarious stream-of-consciousness that came out when I was working at 3 a.m, most likely while intoxicated. “Reading this text may result in snorting or tinkling of one’s pants. Vixen’s Empire not liable for damage from urination.”
SPECIAL ORDERS
Wholesale, custom, and bulk orders welcome, just convo me with your request. Details about wholesale orders available at http://www.etsy.com/listing/93740711/wholesale-cards-24-for-42-dollars-snarky
WHY YOU SHOULD BUY FROM ME
I’m made of awesomeness. And bacon.
STALK ME
Follow me for announcements of new cards and coupon codes.
Twitter: @vixensempire
Facebook: /snarkcards
www.vixensempire.com
VISIT MY VINTAGE SHOP
www.nexusvintage.etsy.com for vintage books, prints, and custom photo mats
©Vixen's Empire
Have any questions?
Contact the shop owner.
