Hey, y'all! The one, the only, the ORIGINAL REDNECK BEER GUT MAN here! I built this vast expanse of pasty white flab 12 ounces at a time. Finally, it occurred to me to see it for what it REALLY is: PRIME ADVERTISING SPACE! Yee-HAW!!!
My humongous skin keg would make the perfect backdrop for a MARRIAGE PROPOSAL, a BUSINESS CARD, or an online ad for your WEBSITE OR BLOG! THE SKY'S THE LIMIT!!! This is YOUR CHANCE to invest in PORK BELLY FUTURES!
Your winning bid gets you 3 jpeg views of your message hand-lettered by REDNECK BEER GUT MAN HIMSELF. I use a mirror and inscribe upside down on my hanging alabaster belly using greasepaint sticks. Available colors of lettering are red, black, green, and blue. (Sorry, I don't do florescent yellow, infrared, or mauve.) Limit of 85 characters. I recommend limited or no use of lowercase: uppercase reads better and keeps my blood pressure in check.)
Your message is then photographed and SENT DIRECTLY TO YOUR INBOX, so there is NO SHIPPING CHARGE! Dig that!
Requests for profanity or hate speech will void the deal. Be cool. Besides, my mutant beer gut powers only serve the forces of good.
Have any questions?
Contact the shop owner.
