So it turns out that there's a huge portion of the modern chemical industry devoted to making you more attractive to someone of the opposite sex (well, usually the opposite sex, anyway). Thousands of scientists with impressive-sounding degrees and long strings of letters after their names work doggedly day and night, trying to find just the right combination of synthetic pheromones, exotic compounds, and rare minerals that will turn him/her on. Untold millions are spent each year trying to create that perfect combination.
Well, we don't have a lot of impressive-sounding letters after our names. The only ones usually found behind ours are I-O-U. But we have, despite our paucity of advanced degrees, found the secret combination of elements that will make you into a woopie magnet - selenium, xenon, and yttrium. Whip up a batch of this mix in the blender, stand back and pucker up.
Just listing the ingredients, as we've done on this warm fleece scarf, will usually do the trick. If not, try adding alcohol.
100% quick-drying black polyester fleece Anti-pill finish with appliqued embroidered recycled felt
Extra long: Measures 80' x 10'