You know the sort of person I'm talking about. Say you just built a new house, you tell Mister Moo about it, and so he tells you about his new house. How big is yours? That's nice, his is twice that size! How much acreage did you say you have? Oh, how cute, his is a whole stinkin' plantation.
I know, he doesn't have a glowing personality, and his facial expression is slightly smug. You can tell he's judging you right this very second. And you know what he's thinking? Well, now he's thinking about himself again, but just a minute ago he was thinking that he's better than you. I guess that is still kinda thinking about himself... anyway.
He doesn't sound like a guy you want to hang out with? Well, here is my idea. Give Mister Moo to that other one-upper you have in your life. ** (see side note if you don't know a one-upper) Then listen in as he or she tells Mister Moo about herself, and how she can ride a bike all, "Look, Ma! No hands!" style. Then Mister Moo will mention that he can ride a bike with no hands AND no feet. And in fact, no body at all. Take that!
**Side note: if you don't know a one-upper, please take a moment to examine your character and see if YOU are the one upper. You will also be able to tell you're the one-upper if you open a gift and find Mister Moo looking at you.