Not anymore!
I don't know what it was that finally prompted the gnomes to take up arms. Maybe it was one too many gopher invasions. Perhaps it was the overwhelming gaudiness of neighboring plastic pink flamingos encroaching on their ancestral homeland. Or maybe they just finally got tired of the media portraying them as traveling morons. Either way, they've had enough and they're out for blood...
My gnomes stand just under a foot tall, weigh somewhere between one and ten pounds, and these ones comes armed with the ubiquitous M16A2 assault rifle.
Your gnome will be delicately packed in the finest imported bubble wrap, laid in a luxurious bed of vintage newspaper, all of which will be plain-wrapped for your privacy and carried directly to your door by a professional, uniformed carrier through USPS Priority Mail. For your ease of mind, you will receive a tracking number once your gnome has shipped so that you can check on his progress as he makes his speedy way from my workshop to you.
The original was hand sculpted by me, an unemployed sailor/artist/philosopher/craftsman. Once I'd created a working mold, the original was destroyed and then lovingly reproduced in solid, American-made, urethane casting resin with various things added in to make them heavier.
I'm always working on a batches of painted gnomes, but they are more expensive. If you'd like to save yourself a bit of money, you can paint these yourself. They will be unpainted urethane resin castings as shown in the pictures. Some assembly will be required. (I ship the rifle and the left hand as separate pieces so they don't break in transit) but it's an easy thing to glue them on with some Zap-a-Gap or Krazy Glue.
Because of their handmade nature, there will be slight variations in your particular gnome. Some are bone white in color and some are grey. It depends on what kind of mood I was in when I cast them. I will also be selling other Combat Garden Gnomes in different poses as well. Next up: Minesweeper Gnome!
Have any questions?
Contact the shop owner.
