Not anymore!
I don't know what it was that finally prompted the gnomes to take up arms. Maybe it was one too many gopher invasions. Perhaps it was the overwhelming gaudiness of neighboring plastic pink flamingos encroaching on their ancestral homeland. Or maybe they just finally got tired of the media portraying them as traveling morons. Either way, they've had enough and they're out for blood...
My gnomes stand just under a foot tall, weigh somewhere between one and ten pounds, and these ones comes armed with the venerable AK-47 assault rifle. Easily one of the most readily recognizable firearms ever, the Avtomat Kalashnikova model 1947 was adopted by the armed forces of the Soviet Union and most members of the Warsaw Pact in 1949. Even after six decades the model and its variants remain the most widely used and popular assault rifles in the world because of their durability, low production cost, and ease of use. It only stands to reason that garden gnomes would get their hands on them sooner or later.
Your gnome will be delicately packed in the finest imported bubble wrap, laid in a luxurious bed of gourmet packing peanuts*, pristine butcher paper, or vintage newspaper, and shipped directly to your door by a professional, uniformed carrier through USPS Priority Mail. For your ease of mind, you will receive a tracking number once your gnome has shipped so that you can check on his progress as he makes his speedy way from my workshop to you.
The original was hand sculpted by me, an unemployed sailor/artist/philosopher/craftsman. Once I'd created a working mold, the original was destroyed and then lovingly reproduced in solid, American-made, urethane casting resin with various things added in to make them heavier. That done, I farm them out to anyone and everyone I can beg, coerce, shame, or swindle into painting them for me.
Because of their handmade nature, there will be slight variations in your particular gnome.
I'm working on more batches of painted gnomes, but given the generally unreliable nature of my help, I can't promise when they'll be available. If you'd like to save yourself a bit of money, check my other items for unpainted gnomes that you can paint for yourself.
Be sure to check my other items for more Combat Garden Gnomes in different poses as well. In addition to the ones I've already made, I'm working on more. Next up: Minesweeper Gnome!
*Do not eat the packing peanuts.
Have any questions?
Contact the shop owner.
