The ball goes up. A shrill whistle. The distant thump of a field gun. The dogs of war unleashed, gnomes charge across the plain, shouting their ferocious battle cry amidst the din of staccato machine gun fire punctuated by mortar explosions and the massive "CRUMP" of an artillery shell. As the cacophony of combat reaches it's crescendo, one voice can be heard above it all, bellowing, "FOLLOW ME!"
Until now, my combat garden gnomes have been warriors without a leader. Gnome officer candidate school takes time, but I'm finally ready to field a few of these guys. A fearless leader at the forefront of any fight, I've sculpted him looking back over his shoulder and urging his troops forward.
My gnomes stand just under a foot tall. They weigh around four pounds.
When you place your order, an alarm sounds in my underground bunker workshop and I spring into action. Your gnome is delicately packed in the finest imported bubble wrap, surrounded by an energy-absorbent impact-proofing material, then sealed in an official container designed to a stringent set of federal government specifications. Shortly after that, I drive him to a strategic drop-off point where uniformed personnel take custody of the package and carry it directly to your door. I ship via USPS Priority Mail, so once I drop off your package, it usually arrives wherever you are (within the US) in 2 to three days. For your ease of mind, you will receive a tracking number once your gnome has shipped so that you can check on his progress as he makes his speedy way from my workshop to you.
The original was hand sculpted by me, an unemployed sailor/artist/philosopher/craftsman. Once I'd created a working mold, the original was destroyed and then lovingly reproduced in solid, American-made, urethane casting resin with various things added in to make them heavier.
I've been getting help from everyone I know with a bit of spare time to paint these. This kind of workmanship is expensive. If you'd like to save yourself a bit of money, you can check out my other listings for unpainted castings that you can paint for yourself.
Because of their handmade nature, there will be slight variations in your particular gnome. I will also be selling other Combat Garden Gnomes in different poses as well. Next up: bayonet gnome!
Have any questions?
Contact the shop owner.
