mustacheclothing's Profile

Bio

There once lived a man who saved my life. I couldn’t tell you his name or even what he looked like. No, in fact, the only distinguishing characteristic I can recall is this; he had a mustache. Not just any mustache, it was as if the gods themselves had reached down from the heavens and peppered folicals of angelical proportions upon his upper lip. You see, as a boy in the late 80’s, I had gone on a camping trip with my family in the rocky mountains. We had set camp near the rapids of a mountain river. The ice cold snowmelt rushed past with a powerful yet comforting ambient sound. I was playing on some rocks at the banks of the river when I lost my balance and fell in. As the frozen grip of the rapids pulled me down river I knew this was the last of me. Frantically, I reached toward the surface fighting for my last breath when suddenly I grabbed something. I was certain someone had thrown me a rope. Yes! A rope! & as if I were light as a feather, it jerked me out of the water. I landed on dry land coughing and gasping for air, my knuckles white from gripping the rope that had saved me. As my vision cleared I realized what I thought was a rope was actually a man’s mustache! Surprised, I let go and the mustached man who rescued me laughed and in a booming man’s man voice said, “Remember boy, when puberty sets in, the mustache is the way of righteous men”. I couldn’t believe my senses. I rubbed my eyes to get a better look at him, but when they focused, he was gone. Years have passed since that fateful day. I’m a little older, I’m a little wiser, I’ve started growing hair in some really weird places man, I feel like I’m turning into sasquatch. Yes, really weird places indeed, except for one. My upper lip! Alas, I was cursed with the inability to grow my own mustache and follow the ways of the righteous. I was bound and determined to wear a mustache, but how? By making the coolest clothing line ever concieved by man. Now, even the facial-accesory-challenged can proudly wear the style of mustache he or she prefers. On these sweatshop-free 100% cotton American Apparel T’s, Mustache Clothing has the style you prefer and the comfort you deserve. So join us and proudly display the mustache of your choice for all to see! Mustache clothing, it grows on you!

Male, Born on September 21

Favorite Materials

cotton iron gold