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Steve the Hound

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:25:42 -0400

$15.00
Growing up on a farm is hard. It is even harder when your a sheep-dog who loves musical theater. That is Steve the Hounds problem. Steve loves musicals. Whether it is Cats or Ragtime he just loves watching people sing, dance and have fun. He has tried his hand at theater a few times: a short run as the Wizard in the Wizard of Oz and one night as a the dog in Peter Pan(type casting). He followed his dream to New York were he was swindled out of his life savings by El Torrence. That is how he ended up here.

Steve likes going on walks, learning new songs and singing them at the top of his lungs. His dream is to play Skimbleshanks in Cats and become a big name in theater. If you would like to help in on his journey contact us today.

A little bit bigger then a bic pen tall and about half as wide

F.N.G., BearHop Superstar

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:25:41 -0400

$15.00
There comes a time in any young bear's life where he has to decide if he is going to be a baller or a shot-caller. Sure you can get 20" blades on your Impala, but if you don't know who you are what do you have: Nothing.

Meet Fienstien Ned Gunta or as his friends know him 'FNG'. A self styled hip-hop artist FNG has been at the forefront of the bear-hop movement. Bear-hop is the combination of Reggaeton and the flutes of the forest. It is characterized by the hard hitting beats and strong lyrics both spoken and growled. FNG brought Bear-hop from the forests to the streets of Kersey CO.

Of course that is when the beef started. Literally. MC Milks-a-Lot, well known for the hit single "Udder Destruction", insulted FNG's mom in that song starting the biggest feud between west coast bear-hop and east coast milk-hop.

After many years spitting back and forth at one another both rappers decided it was time for peace. This was after the tragic loss of both Snarf Puppy and Little Kit in, as yet, unsolved drive by shootings.

Having reconciled their differences they released a collaborative album entitled "Stop Mammal time" Unfortunately without the edge that their feud provided the album was a flop and neither of them have recovered.

A little bit bigger then a bic pen tall and about half as wide

Super Gui, Jester, Joker and Mirth Maker Extrodinaire

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:25:41 -0400

$15.00
Like most jesters Gui got his start in the first grade. While the rest of his classmates where studying hard learning how to read, Gui decided it was better to be funny then smart. He quickly rose to schoolyard fame with his tumbling and quick wit. It also helped that he looked utterly ridiculous.

His first real job came in the fifth grade, when the all-school talent show needed an M.C. He rose to the occasion, making jokes about the awful bands and silly skits that were done at the show. He basically stole the show and there was no looking back.

As he finished school, his eyes where looking towards the stars. His goal was to be the jester for the King of the Moon. Unfortunately to even be considered you needed a pretty impressive resume.

That is where you come in. He needs you to fly him to your house where he can entertain at parties, get togethers, and just when the need arises. He only asks that you write him a great letter of reference for when he does get his audition for the King of the Moon.

Enjoy.

Baron Cecil Van Borington

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:25:41 -0400

$15.00
The Baron, as he likes to be called, prefers his walks long, his drinks wet and his food eaten. He spent his younger years chasing the dream that all young quadrupeds have: that of walking on four legs.

He achieved this goal at the ripe young age of 12 weeks and hasn't looked back. He has won the Four Bell Peas Prize for his work in boiling peas as well as his inspirational work as a custodial engineer at a pea factory.

His close personal friends include Berry the Cheeseman, Samantha the Duke of Greenland and Boris Narovovichkopf. The four of them spend most of their time looking down on the little people of the world, which is hard for them since they are all less than two feet tall. In fact, usually when they want to look down on people they have to climb a building and look down from the roof.

That of course leads to The Baron's other favorite pastime, spitting on peoples heads and blaming the dog. He has yet to realize that dogs are not known to be spitters and people usually know it is him.

When he is not spitting on people or boiling peas, The Baron likes to read books. He prefers to read them backwards as he feels that stories are better if you begin at the ending and work your way all the way to a climactic beginning.

He has recently finished reading Ssapmoc Nedlog as well as Tibboh Eht. He found both of them to be very good books, but different in every way. Except that they where both books… in that they where quite similar.

Soupcooler, the Peppy Ex-Cheerleader

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 19:25:41 -0400

$15.00
Soupcooler is just the nickname of everyone’s favorite cheerleader. Her real name is Candice Marie Bouldershims. She was the top of her class at Bouldershims Academy, helped of course by the fact that her father was the headmaster and her mother the only teacher.

Once she left home school and headed off to college she discovered her true calling, Cheerleading. She was a natural, always smiling always cheering; she was able to lead her squad to 17 national championships in one year.

As time went by she realized that she was the best cheerleader in the world and started brag about it. She would tell anyone that would listen that she could do the splits longer than any other cheerleader.

Then it happened. A challenger approached that she wasn't ready for. A robot built by the evil Professor Rottenhat. The professor had been trying to destroy Soupcoolers ever since she turned him down for the big Bouldershims Academy dance.

His robot was a marvel of engineering and looked just like Soupcooler, so much so that Rottenhat had taken to calling her Candice II. As the competition approached, all of Soupcooler's friends warned her that she needed to back out or face the chance that she would lose to this robot.

Soupcooler laughed in their faces, telling them that it was the robot that needed to back down. It was Sunday afternoon when they began the competition and as you can see they are still competing to this day.

Double buttons eyes so button chewers beware.

Approx 10" x 3" x 2 " with a 12" legspan