Etsy Shop for WinonaCookie

The Unlikely Career of Portia Dreadnought

Thu, 17 Dec 2009 19:22:04 -0500

$75.00
**THIS PIECE FEATURED IN THE MAY/JUNE ISSUE OF SOMERSET STUDIOS: http://www.stampington.com/html/ss_mj09.html**

To say that Portia Dreadnought was an angry child would have been a vast understatement. Despite her most privileged upbringing and the best education money could buy, the only child of the famous steamship robber baron, Porter Percival Dreadnought IV was, to be frank, an unmitigated terror. Oh, the tales servants could tell of finding exquisitely expensive dolls drowned in the Dreadnoughts’ vast aquarium, strangled by a length of ribbon torn from a ballet slipper. The shredded dresses, the dainty shoes found flushed down the loo – all earned Portia her always-whispered nickname: Satan’s Spawn. As might be expected, adolescence did not much improve matters. The only thing the budding Portia seemed to find interesting were her father’s ships. She’d wander around them for hours, fascinated by the complex architecture of their enormous engine rooms, their gothic arches and thrusting pistons more beautiful to her than any cathedral. And captivating, too, one would surmise, as evidenced by her habit of shucking her furs and skirts and wandering around the premises in the altogether, wearing only her top hat and a monocle she’d swiped from her father. Needless to say, the crew adored her – she was a lovely young lady – and when she began to make engineering suggestions as well as show an interest in piloting, no one was inclined to discourage her. And that is how the legendary Portia Dreadnought came to captain the fleet of luxury steamships that she alone inherited.

This 4” x 5” x ¾” original OOAK collage depicts Ms. Dreadnought undressing in one of her beloved engine rooms wearing her top hat and monocle and has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on a stretched hand painted gallery canvas. If features vintage images, vintage ephemera and is accented by German Dresden trim, a number of delicate silvery gears and two lovely etched pewter corners. I can attach hanging hardware upon your request – please send note when ordering. Signed on back.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferrable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Holiday House PRINT

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 19:57:34 -0500

$25.00
This listing is for a signed 7 3/4" x 9 1/2" PRINT on 8 1/2" x 11" heavy matte photo paper of the enchanted Holiday House. It will arrive in an archival sleeve and a protected envelope via First Class Mail. Story included!
More on the Holiday House below:

When my father was a little boy, he lived in a small charming house in a beautiful neighborhood of large, exquisite old Victorian homes. So stately, so handsome, with incredible craftsmanship and detail, they seemed to be lounging back with their impeccable lawns spread out before them. Except for one, of course. There is always one, isn’t there? The Pickel house gave new meaning to the word “eyesore”. Ramshackle and rundown (and not in a charming way), its shutters drooped, its paint peeled, its porch sagged and Mr. Karbuncle Pickel could not have cared less. The lawn was overgrown with poison ivy and weeds and strewn with trash, a family of skunks had taken up residence under the front stairs and the whole place gave off a disturbing and mysterious vinegar stench. To make matters worse, Mr. Pickel was just plain mean. He chased cats off his lawn with a BB gun, glared out his window at kids playing in the street and slammed his door in the faces of nice old ladies soliciting for the Orphaned Children’s Fund.
As bad as he was all year, Christmas made him a hundred times worse. People came from all over to see the beautiful houses dressed up in their glittering holiday finery, and there was Karbuncle Pickel crouching in his house and glowering darkly, demanding that the constable disperse the crowds. He complained that the lights were too bright, the traffic too dense and when carolers came, well, he reached for his hose. He hated Christmas more than anyone has ever hated Christmas, before or since. Well, good things come to an end all too soon, but even bad things do too, eventually. Mr. Pickel expired, possibly from terminal Unpleasantness, and irony of ironies, on Christmas Eve morning. People felt bad that they didn’t feel worse, and then rushed about their holiday business.
My father snuck out late that night to leave a dish of potato chips for the skunks – he was like that even as a kid, my dad – and what he saw that night he would never forget. By the light of a full Christmas moon, he saw that the Pickel house was entirely transformed. Completely restored to its original splendor, the paint was fresh, the windows were clean and unbroken, beautiful golden trim sparkled, resplendent, in the moonlight and a Christmas tree – a Christmas tree! – with a shimmering star on top, had planted itself in front of the porch. Although he was a bit frightened, my father could not help but move a bit closer, and when he did, he heard, coming from inside the house, Christmas music! So beautiful! And one by one, the lights in the house began to come on, and in each window he could glimpse ghosts of festive Christmases past, Christmases long before old Mr. Pickel darkened this lovely house’s door. Beautiful ladies in antique furs, excited children trimming a tree inside, and up on the roof good ol’ St. Nick was wrestling a giant candy cane down the chimney! Oh it was something else, it was! And as my father stood rooted to the spot, potato chips gently falling from his hand, it began to snow. Now you may think that, compared with everything else that happened, the snow was barely worth mentioning until you consider that my father grew up in Monterrey, California. As he gazed up at the first snowflakes he’d ever seen heading for his nose, a snowman with a pipe and a jaunty hat materialized beside the front steps.
He had no idea how long he stood there, but as he made his way home to go to bed, he did so with the full knowledge that he would wake up in the morning having dreamt the whole thing, so he resolved to tell no one. But my father didn’t have to tell anyone because everyone could see the house. It stayed that way for years, Christmas everyday, snow, Santa, the whole bit. It was as if the ghosts of that beautiful house had been kept from their festivities for so long that they resolved to have Christmas, non-stop, until they tired of it, and that is exactly what they did.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Calliope Cookie, Muse - Print

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 23:16:31 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 4" x 6 1/4" PRINT on 5 1/2" x 8" heavy matte photo paper of my muse, Calliope Cookie. She will arrive in a protected envelope via First Class Mail. More on the Calliope below:

Often, after browsing through my shop, people send me emails and ask, “However do you think of all those stories?” Well, I suppose it’s time for me to come clean: I don’t think of them at all.

My Uncle Wentzel (yes, that’s his real name) has always been a collector. “He’s a pack rat is what he is” insists my Aunt Angie, with a belabored sigh. And given that he has saved the miniscule amount of mercury out of every lightbulb he has ever changed and kept it in an enormous jar that must weigh about 80 pounds, I can kind of see her point. But that seems a small price to pay for the cabinet of curiosities that is their attic. Oh, you could find absolutely anything up there, anything at all. I always find some pretext for rummaging around up there whenever I visit, and it was on one such visit that I found this very typewriter sitting in an open antique suitcase, surrounded by questionable specimen bottles and a dusty old microscope. It was the coolest thing I ever saw, I had to have it. “Oh for Pete’s sake, let her take it, Wentzel! She’s your goddaughter and you haven’t touched the damn thing in three decades”, scolded my Aunt. “But, but…that’s not any ordinary typewriter!” he sputtered. “That’s a Fox typewriter from Grand Rapids, Michigan!” After 45 years of marriage, my Uncle could spot battles he was losing from a mile away. “Everybody talks about Underwoods – bah!” he said, taking me aside. “This one is the best. But be careful with it, it’s moody”, he added, mysteriously.
I lugged it home and found the perfect spot for it in my study. I had no real plans to use it, but I fed a sheet of paper into it for authenticity’s sake and admired its considerable retro charm. Then I went to bed. The next morning, I wandered in my study with my tea and found an entire story about one of my recent art pieces neatly typed out on the paper. Even under fierce interrogation, no one in the household would admit to writing it. I was awakened late that evening to the faint sound of typing coming from my study and tiptoed in to find the very lovely lady you see here hopping from key to key, giving a little shimmy and shake at the end of every sentence. She froze on one toe when she saw me and dove into an antique umbrella stand. She must have returned later to sign her work, though: Calliope Cookie. So Calliope is my muse, she writes all my stories, just as Winona Cookie inspires my art. Every once in a while she goes on strike and types “All work and no play makes Calliope a soggy cookie” over and over again on the blank sheet of paper I hopefully feed into the Fox now every time I finish a piece. When that happens, I know to leave her a shaker of dry martinis and a plate of olives and tapas, which generally results in a particularly colorful tale. So that’s the truth about my stories, and the best typewriter ever. Sometimes older technology has its advantages.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Alice and the Caterpillar - Print

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 22:03:32 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 4 1/2" x 6 1/2" PRINT on 5 1/2" x 8 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of Alice and the Caterpillar. They will arrive in a protected envelope via First Class Mail. More on Alice below:

Although it is not common knowledge, Alice continued to return to Wonderland well into adulthood. Apparently, once one has been immersed in that caliber of strangeness, it's hard not to go back. Here Alice is pictured having a chat and a spot of tea with her old friend, the Caterpillar, who, it turns out, is female and named Zanzibara. A small snail slithers over to offer a Hello.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Mushroom Fairy

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 12:38:41 -0500

$225.00
If there is one thing you would think that a fairy would not be in need of, it would be a flying machine. They have wings, for Pete’s sake, and really, when you think about it, nowhere to go. That was the general gist of the sniping about Floribunda Chanterelle’s invention amongst the fairy circles. Truly talented, Floribunda had managed to transform a humble outsized fungus into a marvel of mechanical engineering. Levers and pulleys, gears and propellers, steam gauges and intake vents, Floribunda’s creation would alight with a gentle poof and then putter aloft, swaying gracefully in the breeze and coming to earth on a droll landing wheel, or skittering along the surface of marsh or pond, a tiny propeller buzzing behind. Terrified toads aside, it was a truly stylish mode of transport, and a necessary one as well, because, sadly, Floribunda Chanterelle was an uncommonly clumsy fairy. A secret shared only with her snail companion, Enoki, Floribunda’s attempts at flight had wrapped her around cattails, sent her careening into tree trunks and once, landed her headfirst in a gopher hole. Oh, the humiliation! And in her attempts to land, she fared no better, skinning her knees, crumpling her wings and skidding most immodestly into the vilest of bogs. To Enoki’s credit, he never so much as giggled, but spent several hours rushing to her rescue. After patching her tights, straightening her wings and shaking out her hair, Floribunda donned her hat and goggles, snatched a tail feather from a snickering finch and set to work on the very creation you see before you. Finding herself with a few extra gauges, she fashioned a few steam powered butterflies to accompany her on her flights, and she and Enoki set forth exploring parts of the countryside heretofore unseen and uncharted by self-powered fairies. So if you are gardening one day, or perchance walking in the woods and see a large mushroom buzzing along a few feet above the ground, it is not your imagination; it is Floribunda, the clumsy fairy, out for a jaunt. You may want to duck, just in case…

Floribunda Chanterelle, Enoki and her marvelous flying mushroom are depicted on this hand painted stretched canvas using hand printed, hand cut and hand assembled vintage images, Thai lace paper and is accented with sparkling watch gears, brass rivets and a feather. Floribunda’s wings and the propeller on the balloon are (gently) moveable. Fully finished on the sides and signed on the back, this piece does not require a frame to hang. Ships Priority mail, insurance included in the shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Airship Commanders

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 11:11:16 -0500

$225.00
Imogene had been crying in the barn for sometime before she really noticed the bathtub. Well, not crying exactly, because Imogene Fortinbras never cried – her eyes became moist and her nose ran on occasion – but crying was for big babies so she wouldn’t be caught dead doing that. Not even when her father refused to let her enter the Annual Go Kart Regatta and why not? Because she was a girl, that’s why not! To make matters worse, he and her brother Sebastian were in the carriage house right now and what were they doing? Making a Go Kart for Sebastian to race! And he was only six! Oh it was SO unfair!! Downright infuriating, that’s what it was. It probably wasn’t the first time intense passion fueled inspiration, but the result was certainly unique in this instance. As if stunned into a trance by a lightning bolt, Imogene pulled out the toolset that she had negotiated hard for last Christmas. After disassembling a wagon, a small motorboat, an ancient combine, a laundry sink, an old table fan and sneaking upstairs to make short work of a hideous long flowing gown thing she was supposed to wear for some silly anniversary party, she was ready to begin. For days she worked on her project in secret whenever she could manage, and soon her creation was almost ready for its maiden voyage. The attic discovery of what was left of one of her great grandfather’s taxidermy projects provided the finishing touch. On the day of the Regatta, Imogene cheerfully bidded her father and brother farewell and waved until they were out of sight. Then she shot into the barn, donned her admiral hat and goggles and fired up her amazing bathtub airship.
The Regatta was just underway when a most inexplicable shadow was cast over the racers in the bright September sun, causing them all to gape upwards like so many turkeys in a rainstorm. The result was most unfortunate: a Go Kart pile up the likes of which was never seen before or since. Imogene of course took this opportunity to let her airship touch down and gently glide over the finish line. Although she was not officially entered, no one could deny that Imogene was the clear winner, and that is how Imogene Fortinbras became the first girl to ever enter and win the Go Kart Regatta. Being a good sport, she provided her brother with his own hat and took him and her baby brother Twisby for a victory lap, much to the horror of their mother.

This 6” x 12” x ¾” original collage depicts Imogene and her two brothers out for a jaunt in Imogene’s amazing bathtub airship. This interactive piece is executed on an antiqued hand painted stretched canvas using hand printed, hand cut and hand assembled vintage images and accented with Dresden trim and watch gears. The balloon features moveable wings and a moveable propeller and the collage is further accented with a black satin ribbon, pewter text frame and a small crystal. Signed on the back and fully finished on the sides, this piece does not require a frame to hang. Insurance included in shipping price.
Hanging in a child’s room or your own office or studio, this piece is a testament to what is possible if you put your mind to it, and to all women who simply refuse to take “No” for an answer.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Marcella and her Conch Carriage PRINT

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:08:49 -0500

$15.00
So there you are, deep under the waves, enjoying a couple of mimosas with your Sunday brunch, and along comes a naked lady driving a giant conch shell drawn by a seahorse. Well, it’s enough to put you off your cocktails for a time, isn’t it? Fear not (and drink up!), it’s just Marcella and her fabulous Conch Carriage out for a drive! And though she tends to dress down on Sundays, you’ll never catch Marcella without her nautilus hat. It’s been rumored that if you offer to buy her a drink, she’ll race a school of groupers for your amusement – quite inexpensive as entertainment goes.

This listing is for a 4 ½” x 6 ½” (actual size) PRINT of an original collage. Printed in non-fading ink on heavy matte photo paper and hand-signed by the artist (that would be me). Buy with Emma the Nautilus-naut and save ! These would be great grouped together in your powder room!
Last photo shows this print together with Emma the Nautilus-naut; this listing is for Marcella only. Please purchase "set" if you would like both together.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Fridge Magnet - Absinthe

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 02:05:59 -0500

$15.00
Who wouldn't be thrilled with a little steampunk for their fridge? Perhaps you've run out of wall space and are desperate for a way to display some Winona Cookie art - perfect solution right here!

This 3 1/2" x 3 1/2" clear Lucite fridge magnet houses a smaller-than-the-original sized print of this Winona Cookie artwork*. The first picture in the listing shows the actual image you will receive. The second picture shows the relative size of this magnet and also the how your magnet will be packaged. The third & fourth pictures shows a detail of the image you will receive. The last picture shows the back of the magnet.
NOTE: This is by no means the strongest magnet in the world - it will hold up some takeout menus or your own fabulous artwork, but that's about it.

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights - image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

*Original of this piece is no longer available.
***Greeting card and prints of this item available here:
http://www.redbubble.com/people/winonacookie/art/2090682-2-absinthe
T-shirt available here: http://www.zazzle.com/absinthe_t_shirt-235129608965286223***

Magic Mechanical Mask

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 01:23:51 -0500

$60.00
A very powerful sorceress crafted this mask to disguise her identity while flying, as flying sorceresses with masks on are MUCH less conspicuous than those without. Her elegant invention is recreated here in choker form. This show-stopping necklace is crafted from hand-antiqued and sealed brass components and features (non-functioning) winding stem and vintage watch gears. It measures 2 ¾” from the widest part of the wings and about 2” long from tip to tip. Brass chain is about 14” long and fits me as a collarbone-length choker and is finished with a lobster clasp (entire piece including chain measures 15” long). Arrives in a mysterious sequined handmade (not by me) bag (shown). A stunning focal point for any outfit, this piece is sure to intrigue!

Artemisia's Absinthe PRINT

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:16:41 -0500

$20.00

This listing is for a signed 4 3/4" x 6 1/2" PRINT on 8" x 5 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of Artemisa. She will arrive in an archival sleeve and a protected envelope via First Class Mail. Story included!
More on Artemisia below:

From the time Anyushka Rutkauska was a young girl, chemistry was all she could think of. While it was difficult for girls to pursue such professions in Poland in those days, it was not impossible, and Anyushka was finishing up her PhD at the University of Warsaw when rumors of the war began bubbling out of lecture halls and cafés like a laboratory concoction gone awry. Perhaps she was prescient, or maybe just restless, but she packed her bags and took off for Paris the day she passed her oral exams. At the time she certainly regretted the decision, as her freshly minted diploma did not translate into French easily, or truth be told, at all. That is how Anyushka found herself tending bar at the Taverne Coeur Noir in the 6th Arrondissement. Despite what she told the proprietor, she had no experience with tending bar, but for a chemist, how difficult could it be? Certainly easier than pronouncing “Anyushka” in French – patrons simply dubbed her “Artemisia” after the potent wormwood-tinged cocktails that were the ruin of many a Coeur Noir customer. Indeed, it became a badly kept secret that Artemisia’s cocktails were the best in the City of Lights, and artists, courtesans, poets, academics and diplomats began to pour into the cramped little bar to sample her potent concoctions. The cocktails proved to be great equalizers, rendering the rogue as well as the statesman a blissful yet blithering mess by the end of the evening. Inevitably, a bombast of German soldiers blundered in, rude and imperious, and with a hard, cold glitter in her heavily kohl-rimmed eyes, Anyushka cooked up something very, very special for the lot of them. No sudden deaths, no, nothing as obvious as that. Permanent impotence, total hair loss, an unshakeable sense of dread, irretrievable madness, the firm conviction that one was really a woman – these were the subtle gifts Anyushka’s cocktails imparted to the German occupiers. Where no finger could be pointed, no credit could be given, either. Nonetheless, Artemisia was awarded a Medal of Honor at the end of the war, enjoying heroine status, and best of all, an appointment to the chemistry department at the Sorbonne.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferrable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Portia Dreadnought Steampunk PRINT

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 15:56:04 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 4 " x 6" PRINT on 8" x 5 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of Portia Dreadnought. She will arrive in an archival sleeve and a protected envelope via First Class Mail. Story included!
More on Portia below:

The Unlikely Career of Portia Dreadnought

**THIS PIECE FEATURED IN THE MAY/JUNE ISSUE OF SOMERSET STUDIOS: http://www.stampington.com/html/ss_mj09.html**

To say that Portia Dreadnought was an angry child would have been a vast understatement. Despite her most privileged upbringing and the best education money could buy, the only child of the famous steamship robber baron, Porter Percival Dreadnought IV was, to be frank, an unmitigated terror. Oh, the tales servants could tell of finding exquisitely expensive dolls drowned in the Dreadnoughts’ vast aquarium, strangled by a length of ribbon torn from a ballet slipper. The shredded dresses, the dainty shoes found flushed down the loo – all earned Portia her always-whispered nickname: Satan’s Spawn. As might be expected, adolescence did not much improve matters. The only thing the budding Portia seemed to find interesting were her father’s ships. She’d wander around them for hours, fascinated by the complex architecture of their enormous engine rooms, their gothic arches and thrusting pistons more beautiful to her than any cathedral. And captivating, too, one would surmise, as evidenced by her habit of shucking her furs and skirts and wandering around the premises in the altogether, wearing only her top hat and a monocle she’d swiped from her father. Needless to say, the crew adored her – she was a lovely young lady – and when she began to make engineering suggestions as well as show an interest in piloting, no one was inclined to discourage her. And that is how the legendary Portia Dreadnought came to captain the fleet of luxury steamships that she alone inherited.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferrable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Bartleby the Steamhound Steampunk PRINT

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 15:47:22 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 4 3/4" x 6 1/2" PRINT on 8" x 5 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of Dinah and Bartleby. They will arrive in an archival sleeve and a protected envelope via First Class Mail. Story included!
More on Dinah & Bartleby below:

No one was ever apt to call Dinah Percival an agreeable child – stubborn and persistent, she had an uncanny knack for getting her own way. At age four, she had managed to wheedle a puppy out of her beleaguered parents, but not just any puppy, no! She had heart set on a Great Dane she had seen at the pet store, and absolutely nothing else would do. Never mind that the Percivals inhabited a city flat that could only charitably be called “cozy”, the puppy lumbered home after them. When he installed himself upon an ottoman in the parlor and responded to any and all entreaties, orders and summons from his new owners with elaborate yawns, the Percivals concluded that the only name for the dog was Bartleby. In short order, Bartleby became enormous, as Great Danes do, and like his namesake seemed to prefer to do nothing much at all besides drool great lakes upon the linoleum and roll over languidly in the hope of belly scratches. Dinah loved the big galoot, but by her 7th birthday her attentions had drifted in that most predictable of directions for little girls everywhere: she wanted a pony. For most girls, a passing fancy, but it was sheer folly to think that Dinah would let go of the idea without a fight. Of course, no amount of tantruming could make the Percival residence suitable for equine inhabitence, and when Dinah sighed and supposed she’d settle for two pairs of roller skates and a camp lantern, the Percivals barely questioned the odd request, so delighted were they with their very first parental triumph. In their giddiness, they barely noticed the dismantled bicycle, the deconstructed table lamp…As to what followed, well I realize it looks bad. It would be all too easy to conclude that the Percivals were raising a budding sociopathic little monster. But before we bring the Humane Society or PETA into things, please consider that Bartleby, for all his torpor, barely seemed to mind. He was amazingly adept on his skates and was so huge that he barely noticed the tiny Dinah perched on his back. Certainly the back propeller, he could have done without, but all told, he seemed to find it somewhat less strenuous than walking. And Dinah had managed to get her pony. Sort of.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Steampunk Alice - Print

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 11:49:59 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 5" x 7" PRINT on 5 1/2" x 8 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of Steampunk Alice. She will arrive in a protected envelope via First Class Mail. More on Alice below:

Well, you didn't think Alice WALKED all over Wonderland did you? That place is HUGE, and Alice is way too clever for that. Besides, those maryjanes pinch after a while.
No, Alice has wisely fashioned her favorite wicker chaise into a fabulous Wonderland Cruiser and can be seen motoring about, accompanied by the March Hare (who has also fashioned a means of transport), the White Rabbit, and the hookah-smoking caterpillar (she felt giving him a ride was the least she could do after pressing his mushroom into service as a parasol). With the Dormouse emerging (with a yawn) from her teapot and her small bottle of elixir following on an endtable sidecar, Alice is ready for whatever Wonderland might throw at her next.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Alice and the Caterpillar

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 22:25:58 -0500

$155.00
Although it is not common knowledge, Alice continued to return to Wonderland well into adulthood. Apparently, once one has been immersed in that caliber of strangeness, it's hard not to go back. Here Alice is pictured having a chat and a spot of tea with her old friend, the Caterpillar, who, it turns out, is female and named Zanzibara. A small snail slithers over to offer a Hello.

This 5" x 7" original collage features a vintage image of a pinup Alice in hand-drawn stripey tights and a caterpillar reminiscent of the lovely Theda Bara. It has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on a stretched hand painted gallery canvas adorned with handmade textured paper and featuring flocked velvety swirls. Accented with dresden trim, silk looping under the mushroom, a lovely satin ribbon and topaz crystal on the caterpillar's gilded fez. Fully finished on the sides, backed with beautiful art paper, signed and fitted with hanging hardware, this piece does not require a frame. Insurance included in shipping price**. This grownup Alice is sure to spark your imagination.

**Insurance not included in International Shipping prices (ships International Priority). Please contact me if you would like to add insurance, or if you do not see your international location listed.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Tesla - Print

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 15:36:13 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 5" x 6 1/2" PRINT on 8 1/2" x 5 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of Grigor Tesla and his lab rat, Edison. They will arrive in a protected envelope via First Class Mail. More on the mad scientist below:

While recent history has been kinder in death to Nikola Tesla than it was in his life, it has afforded no such courtesy to his long-forgotten but no less brilliant older brother. It was rumored that Grigor Tesla was born on February 28, 1825 precisely at midnight in the middle of the century’s worst electrical storm and perhaps it was the crackling air that night that imbued Grigor with his considerable genius. The boy was struck by lightning no less than 17 times before he (miraculously) reached adulthood, which is less unlikely than one might think given that his chief hobby appeared to be standing in the middle of fields holding a metal rod during thunderstorms.

Within his second year at the formidable Scientific Institute of Zagreb, he had already acquired his own lab – and his Ph.D. His work was arcane and all but incomprehensible to most, and he went through lab assistants like Bunsen burners. Perhaps they failed to see how testing jetpacks in the university quad during lightning strikes was apt to further their academic careers much past the morgue. Still the good professor soldiered on, investigating effects of electromagnetism and polyphase power distribution theretofore unimagined and scribbling the notes in towering stacks of bulging notebooks. If there was anything Grigor loved more than his work, though, it was his little brother Nikola. The boy would show up regularly for visits and was endlessly amused by his older brother’s habit of inserting a lightbulb in each ear and miraculously illuminating them by blowing his nose. Nikola named Grigor’s foul-tempered pet lab rat “Edison”, claiming the name came to him out of nowhere…

But alas, even his little brother could tell that Grigor was becoming increasingly odd, his starting point being where others ended. When the professor pointed his exalted “death ray” at the university chancellor, threatening to “reduce him to his constituent molecules” for failing to issue yet another lab assistant, the administration was understandably alarmed. Bribing a laudanum addicted medical student into implanting a flux capacitor in his frontal lobe was probably the last straw, however. The university terminated his tenure and there was gentle talk of sanitariums. The elder Tesla would have none of it, of course, and continued his work independently until he was found having shuffled off this mortal Tesla Coil, lightbulbs inexplicably protruding from every orifice. Heartbroken, Nikola packed up brother’s notebooks, photographed his equipment, and set sail for New York City to go to work for a man named Edison. And the rest, as they say, is history.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Mushroom Fairy Steampunk PRINT

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 14:24:28 -0500

$25.00
This listing is for a signed 8" x 10" PRINT on 8 1/2" x 11" heavy matte photo paper of the lovely Mushroom Fairy. She will arrive in a rigid mailer via Priority mail. More on the Mushroom Fairy below:

If there is one thing you would think that a fairy would not be in need of, it would be a flying machine. They have wings, for Pete’s sake, and really, when you think about it, nowhere to go. That was the general gist of the sniping about Floribunda Chanterelle’s invention amongst the fairy circles. Truly talented, Floribunda had managed to transform a humble outsized fungus into a marvel of mechanical engineering. Levers and pulleys, gears and propellers, steam gauges and intake vents, Floribunda’s creation would alight with a gentle poof and then putter aloft, swaying gracefully in the breeze and coming to earth on a droll landing wheel, or skittering along the surface of marsh or pond, a tiny propeller buzzing behind. Terrified toads aside, it was a truly stylish mode of transport, and a necessary one as well, because, sadly, Floribunda Chanterelle was an uncommonly clumsy fairy. A secret shared only with her snail companion, Enoki, Floribunda’s attempts at flight had wrapped her around cattails, sent her careening into tree trunks and once, landed her headfirst in a gopher hole. Oh, the humiliation! And in her attempts to land, she fared no better, skinning her knees, crumpling her wings and skidding most immodestly into the vilest of bogs. To Enoki’s credit, he never so much as giggled, but spent several hours rushing to her rescue. After patching her tights, straightening her wings and shaking out her hair, Floribunda donned her hat and goggles, snatched a tail feather from a snickering finch and set to work on the very creation you see before you. Finding herself with a few extra gauges, she fashioned a few steam powered butterflies to accompany her on her flights, and she and Enoki set forth exploring parts of the countryside heretofore unseen and uncharted by self-powered fairies. So if you are gardening one day, or perchance walking in the woods and see a large mushroom buzzing along a few feet above the ground, it is not your imagination; it is Floribunda, the clumsy fairy, out for a jaunt. You may want to duck, just in case…

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Viktor von Valkyrie Print

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 02:15:07 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 4 1/4" x 5 3/4" PRINT on 8" x 5 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of Viktor von Valkyrie. He will arrive in an archival sleeve and a protected envelope via First Class Mail. Story included!
More on Viktor below:

Viktor von Valkyrie: A Cautionary Tale

The story of Viktor von Valkyrie – such a tragic tale! Born in the farthest reaches of the Slav Republic, no one in Viktor’s village could read or write. Yet somehow Viktor managed to take Ph.D.’s in astrophysics, anatomical biology and theoretical mathematics at Oxford – all before he reached age 27. He achieved a full professorship by the time he was 30 – the same year his hearing began to seriously decline. Convinced of an undergraduate conspiracy to drive him mad with their persistent mumbling, he devised a revolutionary ear trumpet and managed to have it surgically implanted. Although it made sleeping unspeakably awkward, it also enabled the good professor to hear small children eating cornflakes several miles away. In retrospect, this was most likely the first hint that something was seriously amiss, but von Valkyrie’s brilliant inventions, like the autonautical dirigible - the first vehicle to successfully negotiate land, air and water travel - distracted colleagues and friends from that knowledge. However, as Viktor continued to have himself altered in alarming ways, even his most ardent supporters had to admit that he was most certainly deranged. On the eve of the unveiling of his stunningly elegant airship, the Vampyricon, Viktor appeared with set of fully functional mechanized bat wings sprouting from his shoulder blades. With such a disturbing appearance, no one could glean much from his increasingly convoluted lectures. When a species Titanus giganticus land beetle emerged from his cerebral cortex, the college elders knew something had to be done. A plot was hatched to lure the professor to an exclusive asylum hidden away in the Swiss Alps, but of course Viktor overheard every detail of the plan. Packing up his fantastic inventions, he vanished as suddenly as he had appeared, although sightings of the flying scholar have been reported from Prague to the very tip of the Siberian Peninsula. If you see the shadow of his wings overhead, whisper a hello. He will hear you.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to neither story nor artwork is transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image/story cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Steampunk Lady Godiva Print

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 02:00:20 -0500

$25.00
This listing is for a signed 8" x 10" PRINT on 8 1/2" x 11" heavy matte photo paper of Lady Godiva and Alaric. She will arrive in an archival sleeve and a protected envelope via First Class Mail. Story included!
More on Lady Godiva below:

In the famous legend, Lady Godiva so sympathizes with her subjects’ suffering under her husband’s oppressive taxes that she pleads with him to lift the tariffs and give the people some relief. Sick of her persistence and wanting to call her bluff, Leofric tells her he will lift the tax if she rides naked through the city and to his surprise, Godiva does, after instructing the townspeople to shutter their windows and stay inside.

Well, this is the true story of Lady Godiva, passed down for generations in my family. See, Godiva was a tinkerer. She spent hours in a converted stable inventing things. It was the only thing that kept her boring life with the overbearing Leofric even remotely tolerable. Sadly, most of her inventions have been lost to history: Godiva was wise enough to know that any woman inventing things as she did would be promptly burned as a witch in ca. 1300 Coventry, Lady or no. But there was one invention that was so marvelous, so brilliant, she simply had to find a way to try it out. “I have made an astonishing steam-powered conveyance!” she whispered to her cat, Alaric. “It travels many times faster than a horse and monitors one’s mood while doing so!” Alaric stared at her blankly and promptly coughed up a furball. “I’d do almost anything to have the chance to actually take it for a spin,” she sighed.

Godiva had always been a champion of the people – she knew what an utter ass Leofric could be – so when their grumbling about the taxes reached a crescendo, crafty Godiva saw a way to have her cake and eat it, too. And she was always happy to eat some cake. Her campaign of pestering Leofric was unrelenting. Morning, noon and night, “Lower the taxes, lower the taxes” until he finally (and predictably) exploded: “Be still, woman! I will lower those taxes when you strip naked and ride through the city!” And he chuckled to himself, because he himself had never seen the lovely Godiva nude, she was so modest (or so he thought). “Yes!” thought Godiva, “Success at last!”

That very night, she issued a decree that at noon the following day all the townspeople should remain in their homes with their windows tightly shuttered. Godiva was deeply loved by the townsfolk so she knew they would do as she asked. She tiptoed out to the barn, fired up her steamhorse, and always true to her word, gamely shucked herself like an ear of corn and draped her long red hair around her. She added a parasol to the steamhorse (to avoid sunburn) and bid Alaric to accompany her. What a ride it was! It was everything she had dreamed of! The steamhorse was truly magnificent. However, Godiva’s proclamation had eluded one person: my Great-great-great-great-great-great-great Uncle Thomas. He was an inventor himself and was tinkering away in his attic workshop when the decree was issued. He was working on a device that you could point at anything at all and an instant image of it would be made. It was almost perfect. He heard a sound he had never heard before and threw open his attic shutters. What a sight to behold! Thomas was as gay as the day was long and could care less about a naked woman, but that machine! He simply had to make an image! And here you have it. I found it in a velvet box in my grandmother’s basement. It’s quite a bargain when you think about it. And now you know the true story of Lady Godiva…and Peeping Tom.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Demented Dr. Runcible Print

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:50:43 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 4 3/4" x 4 3/4" PRINT on 8" x 5 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of Dr. Runcible and Umlaut. They will arrive in an archival sleeve and a protected envelope via First Class Mail. Story included!
More on the good doctor below:

A childhood spent in a drafty Austrian castle probably was not the cause of Wolfgang Runcible’s difficulties, but it certainly did not help matters much. His remote and reserved father took his compulsive childhood dissections of frogs and small insects as an indication that medical school might be in order for the young Wolfgang. But biology was not what interested the boy; he was in search of the creatures’ souls. Although he breezed through his rigorous courses in his Viennese medical school, he remained most fascinated with the workings of the mind. He was forever hatching farfetched theories about the origins of mental difficulties that made him the laughingstock of his older classmates. “Ego? Id? Where does he come up with this stuff?” muttered Herr Jung. “I don’t know, but it sounds like a load of crap to me”, replied Sigmund.

Utterly defeated and desperate, he turned his attention to the formulation of potions that might provide some relief for those suffering from the conditions with which he could so closely identify. Following the close specifications of the voices in his head, he came up with his Sugar-Coated Catharsis Pills. “Best to start with an animal trial”, said the voices, reasonably. Despite the fact that the pills had some unusual and unexpected effects on his cat, Umlaut, Wolfgang decided that he would never truly know unless he tried his concoction himself. As you can see the results were rather startling and necessitated radical alterations to most of Runcible’s headwear. Nothing if not persistent, he graduated medical school at the top of his class and managed to obtain a license to practice medicine, but his unsettling appearance tended to exacerbate the condition of his patients. Nonetheless, he convinced his by then elderly and feeble-minded father to let him convert the castle into an asylum and that is how Doctor Runcible came to administer one of Europe’s most notorious institutions. “Lunatic” is such a harsh term, but then again there are those who would say that if the straightjacket fits…

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferrable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Falconry Print

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:41:24 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 4 3/4" x 6 1/2" PRINT on 8" x 5 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of Penelope Peregrine and Thaumaturge. She will arrive in an archival sleeve and a protected envelope via First Class Mail. Story included!
More on Penelope below:

A look at the aristrocratic upbringing of Penelope Peregrine held few clues to the adventures that would be her destiny, save for her tendency towards tomboyishness, her affinity for birds and her trailblazing bobbed hairdo. Educated in the finest boarding schools Boston had to offer, by the 5th grade she had already trained an owl to bring her dazed field mice, a talent not generally held in much esteem by her fine-bred female peers who would often find them burrowing furtively in their hope chests. Faced with the prospect of several years of finishing school, Penelope decamped to the wilds of Maine and began training her birds in earnest. A Master Falconer before she was 20, only the promise of a European tour could lure her away from her training mews. Accompanied by her prize falcon, Thaumaturge, she embarked on a 2 year tour of the Continent, leaving a trail of paramours as dazed and shell-shocked as field mice in her wake. While her charm, wit and beauty were the talk of Paris, London and Berlin, her strange tendency to attract birds of prey like star-struck suitors did raise a few eyebrows. For the most part, though, it merely added to her intrigue and brought her to the drafty castle of the handsome and eccentric Baron von Eigenbrotler who promised to show her the workings of his strange mechanical birds. His unfortunate and abiding affinity for Schnapps, however, overrode any plans he may have had for the evening and that is how a bored Penelope found herself poking around the turret study of a German spy in the midst of World War I. She secured a copy of the mysterious map and instructions she found there to Thaumaturge’s leg and dispatched him to British Intelligence, bidding him to return to her before dawn. And that is how Penelope launched her career as one of the Allies most valued secret operatives.

Penelope is pictured here in one of her fantastic winged hats preparing Thaumaturge for his departure from Baron von Eigenbrotler’s castle. The Baron’s mechanical owl, Dragoslav looks on from his perch.

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Snack Fairy

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:33:45 -0500

$130.00
I make no claim to a green thumb. My thumbs are typically far too covered in Neutral pH Adhesive, acrylic paint and glitter to ascertain what their actual color might be. Nonetheless, last summer I decided to take a stab at Planting Some Things, and among the things I planted were tomatoes. Or tomato, I should say, because after a summer of watering, pruning, and fretting over caterpillars, my scraggly little plant produced exactly one (1) admittedly fetching little tomato. In spite of myself, I was excited. I decided to let the little fella ripen for one more day before he met his destiny in a lovely caprese salad. Apparently, my Golden Retriever had other plans, and I tore out the door just in time to find her gobbling down my beautiful tomato, a big slobbery, tomato-y grin on her goofy face.
Heartbroken doesn’t begin to describe it. Never again, I vowed. It would be strictly farmer’s market produce for me. But of course I caved and planted another one this year, and a strawberry plant too. You can bet I situated them well out of the dog’s purview! And once again the plants produced only children, leaving me to estimate the cost of this tomato and strawberry at $60 and $25, respectively. Last week I wandered out to harvest my crops (Ha!) only to find them gone. Gone! Again! I drooped into my wicker chaise to sulk and spied something distinctly unusual out of the corner of my eye.
Clearly the grief was causing me to hallucinate, but it seemed to be…my tomato! It appeared to be hovering, upside down, about 3 feet off the ground, a small blossom and tiny propeller affixed to one side, and tethered underneath in a teacup I had left outside a week ago was this very fairy you see right here. Making use of a mushroom and a slice of buttered toast as ballast, she was clutching a fork in one hand. I could only guess it was as insurance against any would-be dire aeronautical disaster.
In a shy and barely audible voice, she explained that her name was Clover and that she was a Snack Fairy. The small rodent who accompanied her was Tidbit. Having pressed my precious tomato into service as an airship, she could now navigate the neighborhood in search of comestibles, which she was very keen to find as she was always famished. While she was chirping away I spotted my strawberry transporting a pair of diminutive kitties (Nosh and Nibble) in an espresso cup I was sure belonged to my neighbor. I sighed deeply because, really, who is going to argue with a fairy with a fork? She went on to say that because I was so very generous with my tomato (again, HA!), she was putting a special Snack Fairy spell on my garden to show her gratitude. I smiled weakly and went inside for a cold compress and possibly some Advil. Well, I have to say that Clover is a Snack Fairy true to her word, because the next day my tomato plant was positively sagging with fruit, as was my strawberry plant, and they are the tastiest produce I have found. Maybe she will bestow her magic on your garden as well.

This 5” x 7” x ¾” original collage has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on a stretched hand painted gallery canvas and features vintage images, Thai lace paper (to resemble clouds), German Dresden trim and is accented by cotton thread and a working brass propeller. Finished with beautiful art paper on the back and signed, it is fitted with hanging hardware and does not require a frame. Ships First Class mail. Insurance included in shipping price. Buy this piece with the Berry Balloon and save $10 (both for $150)! Simply send me a convo before ordering and I will arrange it for you.

Mattie in her Glass Case

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:33:45 -0500

$250.00
This captivating one of a kind piece was inspired by a terrific steampunk novel I read recently called "The Alchemy of Stone" by Ekaterina Sedia (official website here: http://www.ekaterinasedia.com). The story is about an emancipated automaton named Mattie who works as an alchemist (more like an apothecary). She longs for the key to her heart which is held by her maker, because without it she can never truly be free.

My version of Mattie has a automated pet monkey named Zanzibar. They live in a 7 3/4" x 3 3/4" x 1 3/4" glass topped antique Cuban cigar case which belonged to my grandfather(reads "Habanos, Hecho en Cuba, Totalmente a mano" on the back). It has been embellished with ornate oxidized brass fittings and watch gears. There is another clasp on the side. The inside of her cased home is lined with beautifully printed art paper and adorned with black dresden trim. Mattie herself is removeable (she can be hung in her case via hook and eye). She is a 6" x 1 3/4" doll handcrafted from a vintage image on heavy archival paper and mounted on matte black recycled board and she is articulated in 4 places (her arms and legs move). She's holding a large key in one hand and a crystal-embellished mask in the other, and her top hat is adorned with another crystal gem embellished silver mask charm. She's wearing tiny black crystal earrings. Behind her, Zanzibar is perched atop a costume trunk, wearing a top hat and clutching a little mask as well. The piece is signed and dated on the back and fitted with hanging hardware. Insurance included in shipping price (Priority Mail).

Henrard Bros. Apothecary

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:33:44 -0500

$85.00
One can only wonder what manner of strange concoctions Emile Henrard must have sampled to result in not one, but three horned offspring, but the 1830 Revolution had turned Brussels into a rather stressful place. No matter; by the turn of the century, the old apothecary had retired and turned his business over to his three sons, Anatole, Alphonse and Alcazar. The young men wasted no time in packing up their potions and elixirs and boarding an ocean liner for America, believing that, in the land of the free, where all men were created equal (even those with horns), their collective peculiarity would prove less of a hindrance. Of course, they could not have been more wrong, as they realized when they were abruptly awoken in the middle of the night by a drunken Texan rancher wielding a branding iron and hooting “Yee haw!!”. Narrowly escaping, they forged ahead nonetheless and set up shop in a charming Victorian building in Brooklyn where oddness was, if not exactly embraced, taken in stride. They named it Emile Henrard Pharmacy in honor of their poor father, whose wife still had not spoken to him in 35 years. Even their good looks and charming natures could not obscure their peculiarities and the brothers remained bachelors. That is not to say they were not much beloved and wildly successful, however, as the quality of their colognes, tinctures, patent medicines and cosmetics have never been equaled.

This 5” x 7” x 1/8” original collage depicts Anatole, Alphonse and Alcazar within an ornate Victorian frame, posed in front of a vintage pharmacy label with a rack of their favorite poiso-, er, herbal infusions in front of them and pretty bottles of brilliantine and cologne on either side. The piece has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on an antiqued, acrylic painted canvas board and is accented with vintage images, art paper, photo corners and brass accents. Finished on back with art paper, furnished with hanging hardware and signed within a pharmacy label stamping. Wouldn’t they be charming in your bathroom?

***Super cool mousepad featuring this design available here:
http://www.zazzle.com/apothecary_mousepad-144851893009088754***
***Prints and greeting card available here: http://www.redbubble.com/people/winonacookie/art/2040410-2-henrard-bros-apothecary***

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Mushroom Fairy Steampunk Print

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 01:12:26 -0500

$25.00

This listing is for a signed 8" x 10" PRINT on 8 1/2" x 11" heavy matte photo paper of the lovely Mushroom Fairy. She will arrive in a rigid mailer via Priority mail. More on the Mushroom Fairy below:

If there is one thing you would think that a fairy would not be in need of, it would be a flying machine. They have wings, for Pete’s sake, and really, when you think about it, nowhere to go. That was the general gist of the sniping about Floribunda Chanterelle’s invention amongst the fairy circles. Truly talented, Floribunda had managed to transform a humble outsized fungus into a marvel of mechanical engineering. Levers and pulleys, gears and propellers, steam gauges and intake vents, Floribunda’s creation would alight with a gentle poof and then putter aloft, swaying gracefully in the breeze and coming to earth on a droll landing wheel, or skittering along the surface of marsh or pond, a tiny propeller buzzing behind. Terrified toads aside, it was a truly stylish mode of transport, and a necessary one as well, because, sadly, Floribunda Chanterelle was an uncommonly clumsy fairy. A secret shared only with her snail companion, Enoki, Floribunda’s attempts at flight had wrapped her around cattails, sent her careening into tree trunks and once, landed her headfirst in a gopher hole. Oh, the humiliation! And in her attempts to land, she fared no better, skinning her knees, crumpling her wings and skidding most immodestly into the vilest of bogs. To Enoki’s credit, he never so much as giggled, but spent several hours rushing to her rescue. After patching her tights, straightening her wings and shaking out her hair, Floribunda donned her hat and goggles, snatched a tail feather from a snickering finch and set to work on the very creation you see before you. Finding herself with a few extra gauges, she fashioned a few steam powered butterflies to accompany her on her flights, and she and Enoki set forth exploring parts of the countryside heretofore unseen and uncharted by self-powered fairies. So if you are gardening one day, or perchance walking in the woods and see a large mushroom buzzing along a few feet above the ground, it is not your imagination; it is Floribunda, the clumsy fairy, out for a jaunt. You may want to duck, just in case…

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Absinthe Moon

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:55:12 -0500

$80.00
Clothilde supposed she had no one to blame but herself. She was always too timid and whenever she was out with friends and the absinthe was ordered, she would demurely decline their offers even though she was dying to try it. She had heard such fascinating but frightening stories of revelry and debauchery! So decline she had again, this very evening and had said her goodbyes to her already glassy-eyed mates to make her way home to her quiet little flat. Hurrying home, berating herself for her lack of adventuresome spirit, Clothilde almost scuttled straight past a store she had never seen before. This was odd because the building was very old, almost crumbling in places, and an eerie green light illuminated a faded sign reading “Mme. Hypnotique’s Apothecary”. It had started to drizzle and Clothilde told herself that she was just stepping inside to get out of the rain for a moment. She barely had time to take in the shelves upon shelves of dust covered bottles before the surprisingly elegant chemist materialized beside her. She thrust a bottle of absinthe in Clothilde’s hands and whispered urgently in French, “Be careful!” Then she was gone in a blur of long dark hair and a cloud of essence of anise before Clothilde could even ask after the price. She carefully laid a few francs on the counter and made her way home. She remembered fetching some sugar cubes and a pitcher of water, but nothing much after that. And now, here she was, perched on a crescent moon in a green night sky with black bird wings sprouting from her shoulders. Maybe this is why Maman always said one should never drink alone…

This 4” x 6” x ¾” original collage depicts Clothilde and her predicament upon a stretched handpainted gallery canvas collaged with Thai lace paper clouds. Hand cut and hand assembled from vintage images and ephemera, the piece is accented with black Dresden trim, paper wings, beautiful jacquard ribbon and a square green gem. Finished on the sides and signed on the back, this piece does not require a frame to hang.

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Steampunk Seraphyna

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:44:13 -0500

$42.00
Seraphyna Fahder, ahead of her time by several decades, has left a trail of baffling inventions and heartbroken lovers in her wake. As stunning as she is brilliant, she left Harvard after handily trouncing a professor emeritus at twelve consecutive games of chess. Despite her scandalous and torrid affairs with suitors of both genders, she remains the darling of the highest society due to her talent for scathing but witty repartee and her unimaginable fortune. She is shown here wearing her favorite bowler in front of her Barometric Weather Extruder, a device which enables her to direct bad weather at all the best targets.

2 ½” x 3 ½” x ½” original collage executed on a small painted wood-stretched canvas with vintage images, vintage ephemera, German Dresden trim and delicate sparkling watch gears. Fully finished on sides and adorned with beautiful black satin ribbon and decorative rivet. Hand printed, cut and assembled. Signed on back.

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Teacup Travelers

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:34:22 -0500

$175.00
Of the many dusty and decrepit thrift shops advertising that they specialize in “antiques” that I have been in, the one where I got the bottle was not even especially remarkable. What could one expect from a shop perched at the end of a boardwalk in a seedy little seaside town? Usually I am looking for Victorian photos for my artwork, although it’s very rare that I find any, but “Cosette’s Seaside Antiques” looked promising if only for the fact that it was situated in a crumbling but charming Victorian cottage. Chiefly, there were seashells, as one might expect (I suppose some of the larger ones could be over 20 years old), but among the drifts of knick knacks and bric-a-brac, a certain bottle caught my eye. It was a delightful shape, curvy as a showgirl, and it was so seaworn that it was completely opaque. Some very tenacious barnacles clung to the bottom, and its cork and the wax sealing it were surprisingly intact. I made my way to the proprietess, a woman so old she seemed to be collapsing in on herself, and asked how much. “Zat ees a true antique”, she asserted, “zo I could take no less zan $100. Eet ees from 1854!” She took a long drag from her Gauloise while my left eyebrow arched into my hairline. “But today, a special for you, $10” she said quickly, exhaling a plume of blue smoke in my general direction. My eyebrow stayed where it was and I paid Cosette my ten dollars and hurried back to my bed and breakfast with my overpriced treasure.
I thought long and hard before breaking that seal, you can bet, because even with my crafty skills I wasn’t sure I could recreate the effect. But I simply had to see inside the bottle, so I carefully scraped away the wax with a nail file and pried the cork out. I was more surprised than one might think to find a curled page inside, nestled in the dust of what were doubtlessly other pages that had, tragically, disintegrated. I cursed my shaking hands as I slowly extracted the page with a pair of tweezers and carefully laid it flat.

“27th August, 1854. Day Two of Our Illustrious Journey.
It is our Fondest Hope that Edwina be through with her Seasickness, and through the Beneficience of our Lord, the Day today is Fair. Eunice has been Most Generous in the sharing of her Parasol against the Glare of the unrelenting Sun, and we have been Amused by our sightings of Gulls, Pelican and Albatross, as well as intrepid Sea Creatures destined to become Repast. We have kept little Effie much Occupied with the Rowing of our Vessel, although she is Quite Tiny and the effect is mainly to turn us in Circles. Her delighted Giggles are well worth the Queasiness. Eudora has kept her Silence, as have we, seeing no Point in revisiting the Wisdom of undertaking our Journey in an Oversized Teacup, as was her Insistence. Escaping the Tyranny of our Menfolk is a Worthy Cause, no matter how Doomed its Outcome is feared to be. If it be the Will of the Heavenly Creator, no doubt our Dream of reaching an Island Paradise to call our Own will soon be Fulfilled. I sign off now to apply my Compass to just that Task. Until the Morrow, I remain Yours Truly, Esther.”

In my hope - my desperate wish - that there were further missives from Esther too numerous to fit in one container, I search every “antique” store I come across for bottles, and I always have my ear tuned for a legend of four ladies and a little girl who sailed to an island in a teacup. If you hear of such a thing, please be sure to let me know.

This 6” x 8” x ¾” original collage depicts the heroic journey of Esther, Edwina, Eudora, Eunice and Effie on a stretched gallery canvas in vintage images hand cut and hand assembled. It features Thai lace paper “waves” and “clouds” and is accented by silver toned brass corners, satin ribbon, a seashell and a small working compass. Fully finished with beautiful art paper and signed on back, the piece may be hung from the silver key (accented with silver starfish) at the top. Insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Steampunk Alice

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 17:18:06 -0500

$145.00
Well, you didn't think Alice WALKED all over Wonderland did you? That place is HUGE, and Alice is way too clever for that. Besides, those maryjanes pinch after a while.
No, Alice has wisely fashioned her favorite wicker chaise into a fabulous Wonderland Cruiser and can be seen motoring about, accompanied by the March Hare (who has also fashioned a means of transport), the White Rabbit, and the hookah-smoking caterpillar (she felt giving him a ride was the least she could do after pressing his mushroom into service as a parasol). With the Dormouse emerging (with a yawn) from her teapot and her small bottle of elixir following on an endtable sidecar, Alice is ready for whatever Wonderland might throw at her next.

This 5" x 7" original collage features a vintage image of Alexandra "Xie" Kitchin (one of Lewis Carroll's favorite child models) in true steampunk style and has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on a stretched hand painted gallery canvas. It features brown mulberry paper, German Dresden trim and is accented by antiqued pressed brass corners. Fully finished on the sides, backed with beautiful art paper, signed and fitted with hanging hardware, this piece does not require a frame. Insurance included in shipping price**. A glimpse of Alice you've never seen before, this piece is sure to charm you.

**Insurance not included in International Shipping prices (ships International Priority). Please contact me if you would like to add insurance, or if you do not see your international location listed.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Snack Fairy Print

Tue, 24 Nov 2009 13:45:13 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 4 1/2" x 6 1/2" PRINT on 8" x 5 1/2" heavy matte photo paper of the Snack Fairy, Clover. She will arrive in an archival sleeve in protected envelope via First Class Mail. Story included! More on Clover below:

I make no claim to a green thumb. My thumbs are typically far too covered in Neutral pH Adhesive, acrylic paint and glitter to ascertain what their actual color might be. Nonetheless, last summer I decided to take a stab at Planting Some Things, and among the things I planted were tomatoes. Or tomato, I should say, because after a summer of watering, pruning, and fretting over caterpillars, my scraggly little plant produced exactly one (1) admittedly fetching little tomato. In spite of myself, I was excited. I decided to let the little fella ripen for one more day before he met his destiny in a lovely caprese salad. Apparently, my Golden Retriever had other plans, and I tore out the door just in time to find her gobbling down my beautiful tomato, a big slobbery, tomato-y grin on her goofy face.
Heartbroken doesn’t begin to describe it. Never again, I vowed. It would be strictly farmer’s market produce for me. But of course I caved and planted another one this year, and a strawberry plant too. You can bet I situated them well out of the dog’s purview! And once again the plants produced only children, leaving me to estimate the cost of this tomato and strawberry at $60 and $25, respectively. Last week I wandered out to harvest my crops (Ha!) only to find them gone. Gone! Again! I drooped into my wicker chaise to sulk and spied something distinctly unusual out of the corner of my eye.
Clearly the grief was causing me to hallucinate, but it seemed to be…my tomato! It appeared to be hovering, upside down, about 3 feet off the ground, a small blossom and tiny propeller affixed to one side, and tethered underneath in a teacup I had left outside a week ago was this very fairy you see right here. Making use of a mushroom and a slice of buttered toast as ballast, she was clutching a fork in one hand. I could only guess it was as insurance against any would-be dire aeronautical disaster.
In a shy and barely audible voice, she explained that her name was Clover and that she was a Snack Fairy. The small rodent who accompanied her was Tidbit. Having pressed my precious tomato into service as an airship, she could now navigate the neighborhood in search of comestibles, which she was very keen to find as she was always famished. While she was chirping away I spotted my strawberry transporting a pair of diminutive kitties (Nosh and Nibble) in an espresso cup I was sure belonged to my neighbor. I sighed deeply because, really, who is going to argue with a fairy with a fork? She went on to say that because I was so very generous with my tomato (again, HA!), she was putting a special Snack Fairy spell on my garden to show her gratitude. I smiled weakly and went inside for a cold compress and possibly some Advil. Well, I have to say that Clover is a Snack Fairy true to her word, because the next day my tomato plant was positively sagging with fruit, as was my strawberry plant, and they are the tastiest produce I have found. Maybe she will bestow her magic on your garden as well.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Zoe's Magical Hat

Sat, 21 Nov 2009 13:26:19 -0500

$275.00
I was always told that my Great great Aunt Zoe had quite the spirit of adventure, so it must have come to a surprise to no one when she slipped away from the safe enclave of her Ladies’ College group during the obligatory European Tour. Deciding to opt out of a stultifying march through the Musee d’Histoire Marseilles, Zoe snuck off and found herself in Le Cours Julien and the flea market she found there was to change her life forever. Tired, dusty and a tad tipsy after a few glasses of Pernod and several Gauloises at a dingy but charming Bohemian café, she was about to attempt navigation back to her hotel, when a worn pair of costume wings caught her eye in a nearly empty stall on the outskirts of the flea market. Crafted of enormous dusty feathers, looped together with a crumpled band of once-elegant cream satin and hoisted unceremoniously on a wrought iron hat stand, something about the wings seemed to draw her towards them. “Take them, take them”, muttered the old gypsy woman in broken French when Zoe inquired after the price. “They were my nephew’s, he’s glad to be rid of them, I just want enough for some bread for my dinner.” What could be a better souvenir of the freedom of her off-the-beaten-track afternoon? She quickly fished a few centimes out of her purse and handed them to the old woman who immediately thrust the dusty top hat into her arms as well. “The hat comes with. There’s nothing to be done about it” and she vanished like quicksilver into her peeling little caravan.

Back in the States, Zoe tucked the wings in her wardrobe and wondered what on earth she had been thinking, but she found herself oddly drawn to the hat. Holding it in her lap one day, she felt it wiggle slightly and out leapt a startled rabbit! And that was only the beginning. A ferret in her shoe, a butterfly in her brassiere – one day a lovely white barn owl came screeching out of her overcoat. The day she discovered a school of goldfish calmly swimming around her teacup she decided that marrying her Suitable Fiance was completely out of the question. She packed up a trunk and went on the road as the first female professional magician, wearing her handsome pair of French wings as her trademark. Houdini himself was said to have been quite taken with her. Her scandals were legendary, her adventures were numerous and I heard about them all as soon as I was old enough. The hat survived, but alas, the wings did not, and despite my childhood habit of peering intently into its depths, I was never able to conjure anything out of it. I have had to work my magic on canvases instead, and so bring you this portrait of my lovely great, great aunt, working the magic for which she was so famous.

Zoe and her magical creatures are depicted with handcut vintage images on this 8” x 10” x ¾” stretched gallery canvas and embellished walnut ink-stained Thai lace paper, brass rivets, a real watchface with spinning hand, an ornate brass label holder and wide black grosgrain ribbon. The piece is finished with black art paper on the back, signed and fitted with hanging hardware. Ships Priority Mail, insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Enchanted Holiday House

Thu, 19 Nov 2009 23:20:59 -0500

$250.00
When my father was a little boy, he lived in a small charming house in a beautiful neighborhood of large, exquisite old Victorian homes. So stately, so handsome, with incredible craftsmanship and detail, they seemed to be lounging back with their impeccable lawns spread out before them. Except for one, of course. There is always one, isn’t there? The Pickel house gave new meaning to the word “eyesore”. Ramshackle and rundown (and not in a charming way), its shutters drooped, its paint peeled, its porch sagged and Mr. Karbuncle Pickel could not have cared less. The lawn was overgrown with poison ivy and weeds and strewn with trash, a family of skunks had taken up residence under the front stairs and the whole place gave off a disturbing and mysterious vinegar stench. To make matters worse, Mr. Pickel was just plain mean. He chased cats off his lawn with a BB gun, glared out his window at kids playing in the street and slammed his door in the faces of nice old ladies soliciting for the Orphaned Children’s Fund.
As bad as he was all year, Christmas made him a hundred times worse. People came from all over to see the beautiful houses dressed up in their glittering holiday finery, and there was Karbuncle Pickel crouching in his house and glowering darkly, demanding that the constable disperse the crowds. He complained that the lights were too bright, the traffic too dense and when carolers came, well, he reached for his hose. He hated Christmas more than anyone has ever hated Christmas, before or since. Well, good things come to an end all too soon, but even bad things do too, eventually. Mr. Pickel expired, possibly from terminal Unpleasantness, and irony of ironies, on Christmas Eve morning. People felt bad that they didn’t feel worse, and then rushed about their holiday business.
My father snuck out late that night to leave a dish of potato chips for the skunks – he was like that even as a kid, my dad – and what he saw that night he would never forget. By the light of a full Christmas moon, he saw that the Pickel house was entirely transformed. Completely restored to its original splendor, the paint was fresh, the windows were clean and unbroken, beautiful golden trim sparkled, resplendent, in the moonlight and a Christmas tree – a Christmas tree! – with a shimmering star on top, had planted itself in front of the porch. Although he was a bit frightened, my father could not help but move a bit closer, and when he did, he heard, coming from inside the house, Christmas music! So beautiful! And one by one, the lights in the house began to come on, and in each window he could glimpse ghosts of festive Christmases past, Christmases long before old Mr. Pickel darkened this lovely house’s door. Beautiful ladies in antique furs, excited children trimming a tree inside, and up on the roof good ol’ St. Nick was wrestling a giant candy cane down the chimney! Oh it was something else, it was! And as my father stood rooted to the spot, potato chips gently falling from his hand, it began to snow. Now you may think that, compared with everything else that happened, the snow was barely worth mentioning until you consider that my father grew up in Monterrey, California. As he gazed up at the first snowflakes he’d ever seen heading for his nose, a snowman with a pipe and a jaunty hat materialized beside the front steps.
He had no idea how long he stood there, but as he made his way home to go to bed, he did so with the full knowledge that he would wake up in the morning having dreamt the whole thing, so he resolved to tell no one. But my father didn’t have to tell anyone because everyone could see the house. It stayed that way for years, Christmas everyday, snow, Santa, the whole bit. It was as if the ghosts of that beautiful house had been kept from their festivities for so long that they resolved to have Christmas, non-stop, until they tired of it, and that is exactly what they did.

Mr. Pickel’s Holiday House and the ghosts of Christmases past are pictured in this 8” x 10” x ¾” original collage which is executed on an antiqued hand painted stretched canvas using hand printed, hand cut and hand assembled vintage images, gilded art paper and is accented with Dresden trim. Sparkling crystals and a miniature candy cane accent the piece which is backed with beautiful, heavyweight art paper,signed and fitted with hanging hardware. The sides are fully finished with cream satin ribbon embellished with golden stars. For the holidays or to enjoy year-round, this very detailed piece simply glows. Insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Veggie Friends

Sat, 14 Nov 2009 01:11:25 -0500

$70.00
“Please eat more pastry!” suggest our vegetable friends. Whether you heed their pleas or not, this piece is sure to put a smile on your face. Salvatore Squash, Roswell Romaine, Preston Potato, Annabella Artichoke, Teresita Turnip, Frannie Frisee, Peyton Pumpkin and their little pal, Skeezix the Snail are all ready to grace the wall of your dining room, kitchen or breakfast nook and stare you down hard every time you cook, peel, chop or consume one of their relatives. Fun!

This 6” x 6” x ¾” original collage has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on a stretched hand painted gallery canvas and features vintage images, moveable “googlie” eyes, grosgrain ribbon, brass studs and is accented by a small paperclay pumpkin on top. Fully finished on the sides, backed with coordinating paisley art paper and signed, a satiny fabric leaf ribbon by which to hang the piece is attached to the back. Guarantees of increased vegetable consumption not included.

***Mug and apron with similar design available here:
http://www.zazzle.com/winonacookie/gifts****

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Mermaid Shrine

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:34:56 -0500

$75.00
So here you are, at work, sitting at your desk and you're dreaming of vacation. Maybe it's coming up, maybe you've just been, but your mind is most definitely THERE and not HERE.

*sigh*

Sure you could feed your sorrow and longing with another doughnut, that is definitely an option. OR you could reach into your drawer and pull out this Shrine to Serenity, this Altar to Leisure, this absolute treasure of a tin, open it up, set it in front of your monitor and be utterly transported deep beneath the azure waters of a warm clear sea. Aahhhh! Coral. Shells. Relaxing shades of blue. A friendly octopus. An only-slightly-NSFW beauty of a mermaid with her starfish companion. Now isn't that better? AND you'll still fit into your jeans tomorrow. Such an elegant solution!

A one-of-a-kind gem, this 4 3/4" x 3 1/2" x 3/4" shrine has been handprinted, cut and assembled using antiqued vintage images and beautiful art paper. Embellished with tiny seashells and a real starfish, a shell-woven jacquard ribbon lines the inside of the shrine. Mermaid is mounted on heavy black card, backed with magnets and is moveable - position her where you'd like in her undersea domain. The back of the tin is finished with art paper and festooned with a nautilus image bidding you farewell. Signed upon your request. Silver dresden trim and a silver starfish charm accent the front of the tin. Insurance included in shipping price. This tin would also be a charming way to present tickets for a special vacation.

Deep Sea Souvenirs - Print

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:41:15 -0500

$20.00
If, as a child, you ever glanced up at the spheroid of helium-filled latex attached to a string you were holding in your hand and wondered, “What’s so much fun about a balloon?”, the startling creatures floating above Cornelius and Oliver Octavio might have you reconsider the question. Capt. Lucien Octavio (see “Adventures of Capt. Octavio”) could not help but notice his sons’ rather somber nature on the rare occasions he returned home from his marine explorations. Despite having the run of their father’s expansive (if a bit gloomy) manse and having the wreck of both an ancient pirate ship AND a submarine to explore in the back yard, the demeanor of the two boys was decidedly dour. Perhaps if they had something to interact with, he reasoned. Something truly exotic that no other boy had…Hmmm. After one of his more elaborate and daring undersea expeditions, the good Capt. disappeared into his remote laboratory for quite some time. He emerged with two astonishing creatures glowing, tethered, above his head. Lucien Octavio had biogenetically engineered an abyssal anglerfish and a humpback anglerfish (species melanocetus johnsonii) to thrive, not only in the photic zone, several atmospheres out of their habitats, but in air rather than water! Bioluminescent in their deepest sea home, the fearsome fish glowed gently as they hovered above the boys, wheezing softly with their newfound lungs. And released from many megapascals of undersea pressure, they defied gravity, floating in air. Well, this certainly got Oliver and Cornelius’s attention! They named their new companions Mefisto and Necrosis and are shown here having the time of their lives (This is them having fun. Really.) in front of one of their father’s numerous specimen bowls. Capt. Octavio’s beloved octopus companion has slithered in to proffer greetings to you as well.

This 7 1/4" x 5 1/4” print of the original collage has been printed in archival ink on heavy (47 lb.) matt photo paper. Print out of the story above is also included. Hand signed by artist. Note: piece is shown against light patterned background - it isn't bordered by that color.

Packed in a protective sleeve and shipped in a rigid mailer via Priority Mail.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferrable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Cabinet of Curiosities

Thu, 12 Nov 2009 17:40:32 -0500

$350.00
People often assume twins to be quite close, but that was most certainly not the case with the Alabaster brothers. Edbridge and Cecil Alabaster, only sons and only progeny of the notorious Lord Alabaster, Duke of Blathering, were fiercely competitive from the very start, resulting in a rare simultaneous birth which was the death of their poor dear mother. The two boys repelled each other like magnets, the tension between them nearly intense enough to be visible. Worse, they were exactly and evenly matched in every aspect, from physical prowess to academic achievement. For reasons well known to all and that do not bear repeating here, the Duke’s means had dwindled by their adolescence to the degree that it was possible to send only one of the boys to university. Having failed to prevail in the coin toss, Edbridge was reduced to factory work while his brother Cecil went on to become a famed entomologist, a subject of much interest during their Victorian times.
Sharing his brother’s passion for insects and the natural world with no manner by which to explore it, Edbridge applied his newfound mechanical skills to the painstaking construction of entire species of mechanical insects – spiders, moths, butterflies, dragonflies, bees – if it buzzed, stung, crawled or creeped, Edbridge was sure to have crafted a mechanical replica of it. Driven nearly made with envy and jealously, his plan was to unleash his insect army upon his brother’s vast and beautifully displayed collections like an invading, devouring plague of brass and gears. Edbridge’s mounting madness caught up with him before he could achieve his destructive aims, however, and he was quietly tucked away in a remote asylum, his care happily subsidized by Cecil, who felt free of him at last. In searching his meager flat, the small cabinets of curiosities in which he housed his mechanical creations were discovered, and are still coveted by collectors for their odd beauty and attention to detail that only the maddest of obsessions can achieve. One such Wunderkammer is offered here.

A Cabinet of Curiosities – you know you’d kill for one, but who has the room? This miniature jewel of a Wunderkammer is the perfect solution. Measuring 7 ¼” high (with feet) x 2 ¾” wide and 1 ½” deep, this one of a kind treasure is constructed out of a hand-stained partitioned case with glass that slides out should you desire to add to the collection. Small brass insects, which have been painstaking embellished with various watch parts and gears, inhabit each artpaper-backed cell, along with shells, starfish, natural ephemera, a winged mechanical mask, a wax-sealed specimen bottle, a golden pumpkin, a tiny key and a real seahorse. The cabinet rests on ornate antiqued brass feet and the glass slides from the top via a lovely art nouveau pull. The small brass latch on the front is decorative, as is the tiny bat at the bottom. A small magnifying lens to better inspect the contents is attached by a tasseled golden cord. Signed on the bottom, this unique piece will add unspeakable panache to your décor. Insurance included in shipping price.

First photo is cabinet without glass so that items can be viewed without glare. Please note that the outside items (gargoyle, shell and fossil) are NOT included - they're just for ambience. The glass and pull are pictured in the second photo, along with my hand, so you can get a sense of scale. The third photo is the cabinet on my (messy) studio desk where it was born.

Story is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither item nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

<em><em><a href="http://totusmelswunderkammer.blogspot.com"><img src="http://i66.photobucket.com/albums/h277/TotusMel/Wunderkammer_featuredon.jpg"/></a></em></em>

Tesla

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:39:45 -0500

$750.00
While recent history has been kinder in death to Nikola Tesla than it was in his life, it has afforded no such courtesy to his long-forgotten but no less brilliant older brother. It was rumored that Grigor Tesla was born on February 28, 1825 precisely at midnight in the middle of the century’s worst electrical storm and perhaps it was the crackling air that night that imbued Grigor with his considerable genius. The boy was struck by lightning no less than 17 times before he (miraculously) reached adulthood, which is less unlikely than one might think given that his chief hobby appeared to be standing in the middle of fields holding a metal rod during thunderstorms.

Within his second year at the formidable Scientific Institute of Zagreb, he had already acquired his own lab – and his Ph.D. His work was arcane and all but incomprehensible to most, and he went through lab assistants like Bunsen burners. Perhaps they failed to see how testing jetpacks in the university quad during lightning strikes was apt to further their academic careers much past the morgue. Still the good professor soldiered on, investigating effects of electromagnetism and polyphase power distribution theretofore unimagined and scribbling the notes in towering stacks of bulging notebooks. If there was anything Grigor loved more than his work, though, it was his little brother Nikola. The boy would show up regularly for visits and was endlessly amused by his older brother’s habit of inserting a lightbulb in each ear and miraculously illuminating them by blowing his nose. Nikola named Grigor’s foul-tempered pet lab rat “Edison”, claiming the name came to him out of nowhere…

But alas, even his little brother could tell that Grigor was becoming increasingly odd, his starting point being where others ended. When the professor pointed his exalted “death ray” at the university chancellor, threatening to “reduce him to his constituent molecules” for failing to issue yet another lab assistant, the administration was understandably alarmed. Bribing a laudanum addicted medical student into implanting a flux capacitor in his frontal lobe was probably the last straw, however. The university terminated his tenure and there was gentle talk of sanitariums. The elder Tesla would have none of it, of course, and continued his work independently until he was found having shuffled off this mortal Tesla Coil, lightbulbs inexplicably protruding from every orifice. Heartbroken, Nikola packed up brother’s notebooks, photographed his equipment, and set sail for New York City to go to work for a man named Edison. And the rest, as they say, is history.

This original collage assemblage shadowbox pictures the elder Tesla in his Zagreb laboratory among his various inventions. A vintage bulb and small experimental vials are featured in the foreground with labels reading “Subatomic particulate”, “Embaric Vapor” and “Aether”. A vintage optician’s testing lens protrudes from the Aether bottle and magnifies the device behind it. This 10” x 10” x 1 ¾” piece has been painstakingly handcrafted with vintage images, beautiful art paper, German Dresden trim and is accented throughout with watch parts and coils. The dashing Dr. Tesla, his pet rat, Edison, a gyroscope and the bulb overhead are all raised from the background for dimensional effect. The outside of the box is accented with hand-painted carved wooden trim, satin ribbon and a vintage bulb. A watch casing bears Tesla’s moniker strewn with small silver gears. Shadowbox portion is encased in glass that has been removed for photograph. Signed on finished back. Hardware for hanging added upon request (stands up on its own). Insurance included in shipping price.
Truly original and one of a kind, this assemblage is the perfect focal point for your own mad scientist laboratory…or tasteful living room décor. Come get lost inside Tesla’s world – it’s a fascinating place to be.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Art Card Special - Ladies

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 12:23:37 -0500

$21.00
Just what you have been waiting for! Four Winona Cookie Lovelies in one envelope! Pint-sized (2 ½” x 3 ½”) versions of Steampunk Seraphyna, Hannah and Her Hookah*, Edna and Her Armadillo and Steampunk Muse* are printed on heavyweight archival matte photo paper,hand-trimmed, and slipped into individual archival sleeves. Collectible, tradeable and oh-so-affordable. Signed on back. It may be possible to swap in another image, if you have a favorite not featured here. Convo me with your request and I will get right back to you.
*Originals no longer available

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Art Card Special - Gents

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:04:32 -0500

$21.00
Four fellows to set your heart aflutter. Pint-sized (2 ½” x 3 ½”) versions of Capt. Lucien Octavio, Dr. Thaddeus Esperium, Gay James* and Clovis and his imaginary friend Milton (or Milton and his imaginary friend, Clovis – we can’t quite tell) are printed on heavyweight archival matte photo paper and hand-trimmed. Collectible, tradeable and oh-so-affordable. It may be possible to swap in another image, if you have a favorite not featured here. Convo me with your request and I will get right back to you. Signed on back.
*Original no longer available

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Art Cards - Faerie Pack

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 17:04:04 -0500

$21.00
If you fancy faerie folk with a steampunk sensibility, these little beauties are for you! Pint-sized (approx. 2 ½” x 3 ½”) versions of Sarah & Her Steam Snail*, Teablossom the Tea Fairy*, Fairouza the Steampunk Faerie* and the Java Goddess* are printed on heavyweight archival matte photo paper and hand-trimmed. Collectible, tradeable and oh-so-affordable.
It may be possible to swap in another image, if you have a favorite not featured here. Convo me with your request and I will get right back to you.

Each card is hand signed and dated on the back by the artist (that would be me) and comes in its own clear polypropylene, acid free, top load sleeve.

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

*Original no longer available

Artemisia's Absinthe

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 19:59:05 -0500

$175.00
From the time Anyushka Rutkauska was a young girl, chemistry was all she could think of. While it was difficult for girls to pursue such professions in Poland in those days, it was not impossible, and Anyushka was finishing up her PhD at the University of Warsaw when rumors of the war began bubbling out of lecture halls and cafés like a laboratory concoction gone awry. Perhaps she was prescient, or maybe just restless, but she packed her bags and took off for Paris the day she passed her oral exams. At the time she certainly regretted the decision, as her freshly minted diploma did not translate into French easily, or truth be told, at all. That is how Anyushka found herself tending bar at the Taverne Coeur Noir in the 6th Arrondissement. Despite what she told the proprietor, she had no experience with tending bar, but for a chemist, how difficult could it be? Certainly easier than pronouncing “Anyushka” in French – patrons simply dubbed her “Artemisia” after the potent wormwood-tinged cocktails that were the ruin of many a Coeur Noir customer. Indeed, it became a badly kept secret that Artemisia’s cocktails were the best in the City of Lights, and artists, courtesans, poets, academics and diplomats began to pour into the cramped little bar to sample her potent concoctions. The cocktails proved to be great equalizers, rendering the rogue as well as the statesman a blissful yet blithering mess by the end of the evening. Inevitably, a bombast of German soldiers blundered in, rude and imperious, and with a hard, cold glitter in her heavily kohl-rimmed eyes, Anyushka cooked up something very, very special for the lot of them. No sudden deaths, no, nothing as obvious as that. Permanent impotence, total hair loss, an unshakeable sense of dread, irretrievable madness, the firm conviction that one was really a woman – these were the subtle gifts Anyushka’s cocktails imparted to the German occupiers. Where no finger could be pointed, no credit could be given, either. Nonetheless, Artemisia was awarded a Medal of Honor at the end of the war, enjoying heroine status, and best of all, an appointment to the chemistry department at the Sorbonne.

Charming and extraordinarily detailed, this 6” x 8” x 1/8” original collage depicts Anyushka glaring balefully at some German soldiers while dispensing a dose of her special justice. It has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled with vintage images on a hand painted canvas board and is accented with hand crafted art paper brass corners, Dresden trim, crystal gems, black satin ribbon and a lovely Art Nouveau brass stamping. Finished on back with beautiful art paper and signed. Hanging hardware furnished upon your request, or the piece can be framed.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferrable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Faerie Pack II - Art Cards

Thu, 05 Nov 2009 22:40:34 -0500

$21.00
Another set of faery folk with a steampunk/Winona Cookie sensibility! Pint-sized (approx. 2 ½” x 3 ½”) versions of Ambrose Antony (Football Fairy), Mushroom Fairy, Calliope Cookie (Muse)*, and Clover the Snack Fairy are printed on heavyweight archival matte photo paper and hand-trimmed. Collectible, tradeable and oh-so-affordable.
It may be possible to swap in another image, if you have a favorite not featured here. Convo me with your request and I will get right back to you.

Each card is hand signed and dated on the back by the artist (that would be me) and comes in its own clear polypropylene, acid free, top load sleeve.

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

*Original no longer available

Sarah and Her Steamsnail - Print

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 11:52:26 -0500

$20.00
This listing is for a signed 4" x 6" PRINT on 5 1/2" x 7 3/4" heavy matte photo paper of Sarah & her steamsnail. She will arrive in a protected envelope via First Class Mail. More on the Sarah below:

In a very large family, fading into the wallpaper is a real possibility, especially if one hovers somewhere in the middle of the sibling line-up. And in a family of 12? You’re lucky if anyone remembers your name. Obscurity was never even a remote possibility for Sarah McFinnegan, however. Her birth order (6th) was the first and last ordinary thing about her. As a small child, her first utterance was a complete sentence – in German, no less, that she had apparently picked up from the groundskeeper. That was actually less remarkable than one might think given that she was often found crawling around in the rich, fragrant dirt of the azalea beds, carefully examining all the creatures she found there. While her siblings dreamed of dolls, games, sporting equipment and sweets, Sarah’s desires were a bit more cryptic: “I’d like a protractor, a slide rule and a really good crescent wrench, please.” The same circumstances which could have relegated Sarah to obscurity, in actuality, helped preserve her vivid uniqueness - ironing out the individual personality peculiarities of a brood as large as the McFinnegan’s was a luxury her parents could ill-afford. So if Sarah favored sleeping in the carriage house, or standing up to do that which most little girls sit down to accomplish (“Rethink the tights” was her father’s only remark), or somehow nurturing a garden snail to heretofore unseen proportions, who had the time or inclination to intervene? At least that’s one explanation of how Sarah’s peculiar hobbies went relatively unnoticed for so long. Besides, nothing could prepare most families for looking out the window during Sunday dinner only to see one of their own motoring down the street astride a steam-powered 130 pound garden snail with wheels. “Mein Gott!” shouted the groundskeeper “So that’s what’s become of all my cabbages!”

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Fungus Fairy Shrine

Sun, 01 Nov 2009 22:30:44 -0500

$60.00
Everyone who opens this upcycled 2 3/8” x 3 ¾” x ¾” tin lets out a little gasp because Morelle Champignon the Fungus Fairy is just that sweet. Wearing her wee acorn hat and fluttering her oak seed wings, she waves a welcoming hello to you while her snail friend, Shiitake, makes his leisurely way through handmade paper grass, accompanied by butterfly friends. A small spun-wool mushroom is nestled in the preserved moss at Morelle’s feet and a skeleton leaf is set against the handmade paper with leaf and flower inclusions behind her. The front of the shrine is covered in beautiful art paper and features a vintage image of a protea growing out of a clump of oyster mushrooms and is sealed in a coat of gloss varnish. Black Dresden trim runs around the side of the tin, and the back is finished with art paper, signed and fitted with hanging hardware. Handprinted, cut and assembled. An homage to mushrooms and fairies not to be missed, this beautifully crafted shrine is sure to charm you!

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Ambrose Antony, Football Fairy

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 12:01:01 -0400

$70.00
We’ve all known an Ambrose Antony, haven’t we? Hopefully not very well, and sure it’s a bit of a cliché, but often clichés have some truth to them. A jock, a bully and generally unpleasant (although inexplicably appealing to adults) Ambrose never met an act of cruelty that he couldn’t get behind. When he left behind his chilling childhood experiments with insects, reptiles and amphibians, he turned to the more sensitive and vulnerable denizens of his own species and unleashed the full power of his preternatural knack for harassment and humiliation upon them. On a day when Ambrose was taunting a particularly shy and artistic classmate with the unremitting chant of “Fairy! Fairy! Faggy Fairy!”, an actual fairy named Rafe with a sense of justice and a penchant for irony happened by, and the result is pictured here. With a whir of his wings and a twitch of his bottom – poof! – Ambrose found himself standing approximately four and a half inches tall and sporting antennae that he hastily stuffed under his football helmet. The wings, he could do nothing about. “You’ve got to be kidding me!” he sputtered, chasing after Rafe and feeling none too athletic with his new wings, “change me back, you – you – Fairy!!” Rafe turned on one of his delicate and graceful toes and sniffed, “Actually, we prefer ‘Phaerie’. And I will change you back when you have performed 1000 acts of kindness and protection for those you used to taunt. Ta!” And he disappeared in a tasteful cloud of glitter. So here is Ambrose, hanging out on a lily pad on a sweltering summer afternoon surrounded by some new friends. Three down, 997 to go. Evidently the prospect of smooching the nearby frog and thereby returning him to his former princely state is requiring more desperation than Ambrose is currently experiencing. For now.

This 4” x 6” x ¾” original collage has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on a stretched hand painted gallery canvas with vintage images and handmade paper. Ambrose’s wings are (gently) moveable and two handcrafted dragonflies buzz below him (click back and forth between the first 2 pictures and watch Ambrose flutter - fun!). Fully finished on the sides with brown grosgrain ribbon and on the back with beautiful art paper and fitted with hanging hardware, it requires no frame to hang. Signed on back.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Wingding Bros. World's Greatest Show

Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:20:36 -0400

$175.00
The ability to make the most of unfortunate circumstances is among the most valuable of talents, and, arguably, no one demonstrated it better than Thusly and Hencely, the Wingding brothers. Identical twins, they were entirely normal in every respect save for the fact that they had only two arms between them and were completely conjoined at the shoulder. Apparently prescient before birth, they managed to get themselves born into a circus family, a wise choice given their condition. Their father, the Amazing Zamboni, was among the finest and most fearless of trapeze artists, as was their mother, whom the two boys never knew. Given that the squirrel monkey, Prehensile, who accompanied them everywhere turned out to be a half-sibling from their mother’s first marriage, the boys regretted not knowing her less than one might think. And running off with a tattooed sword swallower when Thusly and Hencely were mere infants hardly improved her standing in their estimations. It was a strange little family, to be sure, but a happy one, and growing up in the midst of Harlequin the Toad Boy and Aspick the Human Jelly ensured that they seldom felt self-conscious about their…difference.

As with most identical twins, the boys were inordinately close, and if there was one thing upon which they agreed, it was that they did not want to spend their lives being mere curiosities. That is how they came to apprentice under the tutelage of Madame Ocelot, Tiger Tamer extraordinaire. As tiger tamers the boys had the unique advantage of essentially having a set of eyes in the back of their respective heads, and something about their unique appearance left the tigers somewhat nonplussed and therefore more apt to do as they were told. Prehensile did his part as well, scampering around the ring and rounding up balls for the tigers to balance upon and rings for them to jump through, although the tigers did tend to look at the monkey with much more than passing interest. Madame Ocelot was getting on in years, and soon retired, passing the mantle and her purely decorative whip onto the two young men.

Sadly, old trapeze artists do not die, but rather tend to make fatal swan dives into, say, a clown’s cannon, as was the fate that befell the Amazing Zamboni. Thusly and Hencely were devastated at the loss of their dear father, but eager to honor him by putting the sizeable inheritance that he left them to good use. That is how they came to purchase the circus from the previous owner, a cranky Hungarian with a persistent wet cough that did him in a mere month later. They took over as ringmasters, as well as tiger tamers, dubbing the new enterprise “Wingding Brothers – World’s Greatest Show”, and their prodigious talent and considerable good looks brought them fame, acclaim, and clans of female admirers the world over.

Thusly, Hencely and Prehensile are pictured in their smart tuxedos and top hats along with two feline friends. This 6” x 8” x ¾” original collage is executed on an antiqued hand painted stretched canvas using hand printed, hand cut and hand assembled vintage images aged with walnut ink, art paper and accented with gold Dresden trim, ribbon and brass and crystal embellishments. The piece is signed on the back and has a ribbon woven with tiny elephants marching around the fully finished on the sides. Does not require a frame to hang. Insurance included in shipping price.
The spirit of the circus is alive and well in this compelling piece – let it bring its fun to you!

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Steampunk Witch

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 16:04:55 -0400

$175.00
“Holy Hecate, she’s SUCH a show-off!” muttered Dianthus, with a roll of her eyes. “Well, you have to admit she’s got talent,” countered Maeva, her greenish hair standing on end. “Will you shut that thing OFF, please, before you suck me up into the next township?” But Amelia couldn’t hear either member of her coven, the motor on her Super Deluxe Electrolux was just too loud. In truth, it wasn’t a matter of showing off at all, but it was also true that no ordinary broom would do for Amelia Alabaster. Fascinated by all things mechanical and preternaturally obsessed with order, she had long ago parked the broom bestowed upon her by her mother in a seldom-used utility closet and had traded in her wand for a curvy little feather duster. With a clattering of gears and a mumbling of spells she had transformed an everyday Electrolux into a first rate aircraft, and had immediately begun buzzing around Glastonbury looking for messes to clean up. She had even fashioned a canister-type conveyance for her surly black companion, Tidy Tim. It occasionally coughed up a bit of kitty litter, but Amelia could dispatch that in a jiffy. Night after night, the full moon yawning behind her, Amelia would don her goggles, grab the handle of her vacuum and hold on tight as it roared into the night sky, yanking her off to the next domestic disaster, midtown mess or parochial pigsty. With a wriggle of her bottom and a flourish of her feather duster, order would be restored and all would be well. If the occasional crucial bit of paperwork or antique heirloom or cherished keepsake happened to get sucked up too, well, people generally didn’t even notice. So the next time you are frantically searching for something and making thinly veiled accusations in the direction of your children, family pet or significant other, give a thought to Amelia Alabaster and the Super Deluxe Electrolux. It probably isn’t their fault.

This 6” x 8” x ¾” original collage depicts Amelia and Tidy Tim hovering in the night sky above Glastonbury with their respective vacuums. It is constructed on a handpainted stretched gallery canvas with vintage images and Thai lace paper clouds. Accented with Dresden trim, brass rivets and black satin ribbon, it is finished on the sides and does not require a frame to hang. A few small paper spiderwebs that Amelia missed are cowering in the lower corners. The piece is backed with beautifully printed cardstock, signed and fitted with hanging hardware. Insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Witchcraft

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:30:19 -0400

$40.00
It used to be that every town and village had someone like Thalia, a woman living alone or perhaps with a child on the edge of the forest. Gathering her herbs by the light of the full moon, infusing her elixirs, brewing her tinctures, boiling her concoctions, she was indispensable to townfolk for her wisdom and her expertise in healing their ills, soothing their pains and easing their woes, and it was that necessity that made her dangerous. A person one needs is a frightening person indeed. Fortunately, no one came after Thalia with a pitchfork or trussed her up to a stake, but she was isolated and avoided and had only her owl and mouse for company, at least until pain stabbed through a man’s heart, or a woman’s baby refused to be born or until all the desire simply packed up and moved out of someone’s marriage. Then would come a midnight knock on her door, a gift of money, or embroidered cloth or simply a hen offered to her and Thalia would pack up her poultices, her tiny vials and her foul-smelling powders and set off to do what she did best, and gratitude and relief would pour forth from the healed – at least until the next time they saw Thalia at market.
Thalia’s closest secret is that she preferred this arrangement. She loved her tiny house tucked in the woods, the arcane mysteries of plants that unfurled before her, her familiars and her solitude. And of late a young woman often came calling, a girl with a spark Thalia immediately recognized and a talent for the art that they both delighted in uncovering.

2 ½” x 3 ½” x ½” original collage depicting Thalia and her familiar against a background of moon phases, foxglove and mushrooms is executed on a small painted wood-stretched canvas with vintage images and handmade and embellished with Dresden trim, black crystals and beautiful brown satin ribbon. Hand printed, cut and assembled. Signed on back.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Witchcraft Shrine

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:17:41 -0400

$75.00
It used to be that every town and village had someone like Thalia, a woman living alone or perhaps with a child on the edge of the forest. Gathering her herbs by the light of the full moon, infusing her elixirs, brewing her tinctures, boiling her concoctions, she was indispensable to townfolk for her wisdom and her expertise in healing their ills, soothing their pains and easing their woes, and it was that necessity that made her dangerous. A person one needs is a frightening person indeed. Fortunately, no one came after Thalia with a pitchfork or trussed her up to a stake, but she was isolated and avoided and had only her owl and mouse for company, at least until pain stabbed through a man’s heart, or a woman’s baby refused to be born or until all the desire simply packed up and moved out of someone’s marriage. Then would come a midnight knock on her door, a gift of money, or embroidered cloth or simply a hen offered to her and Thalia would pack up her poultices, her tiny vials and her foul-smelling powders and set off to do what she did best, and gratitude and relief would pour forth from the healed – at least until the next time they saw Thalia at market.
Thalia’s closest secret is that she preferred this arrangement. She loved her tiny house tucked in the woods, the arcane mysteries of plants that unfurled before her, her familiars and her solitude. And of late a young woman often came calling, a girl with a spark Thalia immediately recognized and a talent for the art that they both delighted in uncovering.

This one-of-a-kind shrine is constructed in a hinged wooden box measuring 2 ¼” wide x 3 ½” high x 2” deep. It is handstained and collaged inside and out with images portraying Thalia’s craft. The inside is lined with heavy glittered art paper and a wax sealed bottle filled with green glitter and labeled “Belladonna Drops” sits in front of Thalia, who is wearing tiny crystal earrings and a witch hat decorated with Dresden trim. The front and sides of the box are embellished with Dresden trim as well as a raised moth with glittered wings. The box is sealed with several layers of waterbased varnish and the shrine is fitted with hanging hardware and signed on the bottom. Four mini-collages with an assemblage inside – what a value! Insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

The Golden Compass - Art Card Set

Tue, 13 Oct 2009 17:10:31 -0400

$21.00
An enchanting set whether you are a fan of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials trilogy or not. 2 ½” x 3 ½” prints of Lord Asriel, Mrs. Coulter, Lee Scoresby and, of course, Lyra & Pantaliamon. The same size as the original art (no longer available), these reproductions are printed on heavyweight (45 lb.) archival matte photo paper and hand-trimmed. Each comes in its own clear polypropylene, acid free, top load sleeve. Collectible, tradeable and oh-so-affordable. Signed on back.

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008 & 2009. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – images cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Evangeline Garden's Astrological Studio

Sat, 10 Oct 2009 15:41:44 -0400

$375.00
Despite the pampering showered upon her as the daughter of the West Coast’s largest and most successful newspaper publishing magnate, Balthazar Garden, Evangeline managed to remain a quiet and thoughtful little girl. Bookish in the extreme, she spent countless afternoons in the vast mansion her father built, roaming the halls and poking in nooks until she found the perfect place to curl up with her latest book, which she would devour in a single sitting. Although she preferred books to people, she had the most unnerving habit of grasping family and strangers alike by the hand, looking smack into their eyes, and telling them things about themselves that there was no possible way for her to know. Although this was gently discouraged by a parade of governesses, Evangeline’s odd capabilities persisted and were the subject of much superstition among the staff. A near- fatal fever when she was a teenager only served to intensify her unusual talents and Evangeline’s focus shifted dramatically from reading to writing. While this development was much to the delight of Evangeline’s father, others in the household where taken aback to find the most intimate details of their private lives woven into intricate gothic plots. “From somewheres she gots de gypsy blood!” muttered the ancient Romanian cook, crossing herself and tossing a handful of salt over her shoulder. It’s fair to say that most were relieved when Balthazar secured Evangeline’s early admission to college and that is how she found herself in Berkeley, one of a very, very few young ladies in attendance and a good bit younger than her peers.
Desperately lonely and a bit forlorn, Evangeline tucked herself into the dark corners of cafes all over San Francisco and scribbled in her tattered notebooks until one day when an exotic woman sent over a plate of pastry and a cappuccino and settled herself in the rickety chair across from Evangeline. She grasped the girl’s pale hand, looked into her gentle eyes, and for once Evangeline knew exactly what she wanted to do. She rented herself a charming little flat, got herself an owl she named Zindelo and began her career as a first rate fortune teller. She was never lonely again, and the novels she published under a pen name made her a fortune to equal her father’s.

This 12” x 6 ¾” x 1 ¼” one of a kind, original assemblage art piece has been constructed out of a vintage pressed-tin shadow box with latched front glass window (open-able). A charming coppery moon with sparkling crystals presides over the top of the box along with additional copper embellishments. A magnetized vintage zodiac diagram is fitted into a magnetized oval to arrange as you please, or to secure your wishes to your Gyspy Shrine. A gold ribbon borders the bottom of the box and an advertisement* for Evangeline’s studio is set between two palmistry hands. Inside Evangeline’s studio, a paisley back wall is adorned with gold Dresden trim tassels and images are raised from the background for a captivating 3-D effect. A doublesided moon dangles from a wooden bead on the ceiling which, along with the sides, is covered in gilded handmade Thai paper that gives the whole piece a magical golden glow. In the foreground rests Evangeline’s Ouija board, a small palmistry hand, a crystal ball crafted out of a vintage marble and two tiny I Ching coins. Evangeline herself is decked out in glitter and crystal jewels. The back is finished with beautiful art paper, signed and comes fitted with hanging hardware. This very special piece incorporates so many one-of-a-kind items that it cannot be reproduced. You won’t be able to stop looking at it! Insurance included in shipping price.

*Text (which inspired the piece) reads:
“ Men should take their knowledge from the Moon, Sun and Stars”. – Emerson
Telephone Hemlock 1796
Evangeline Garden
Teacher of Astrology
Astrological Studio
2090 Mission Street
Apartment 4
San Francisco
Office Hours: 10 to 5, or by appointment

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Obadiah Theremin, MD

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 15:56:14 -0400

$75.00
Say what you will about Dr. Theremin, but there can be no question that the man was a dedicated clinician. Most psychiatrists rely on pills and talk to treat their patients, but since Obadiah saw the most hopeless of cases, he saw no harm in going that extra mile. Postulating that disturbed thoughts, like hot air, tend to rise only to precipitate misery upon their hosts, the good Dr. Theremin fitted himself with a device of his own invention that funneled the offending thoughts through a mysterious centrifuge and directly into his own cerebral cortex where he could process them thoroughly with his own unimpeachable sanity. Offending byproducts would pass harmlessly, he theorized, out of the handy faucet he implanted in his left ear, or could be simply exhaled with his pipe smoke – simple! In addition, those plagued by tortuous indecision could present their quandary to him at which point one or the other side of his forked beard would curl slightly at the tip, providing the querent with a definitive response. Meanwhile, his patented Mood-O-Meter hummed eerily on his desk, its needle spinning wildly to indicate his patient’s current state.
Okay, it’s true that he was eventually committed himself, the protective goggles he swore by notwithstanding, but among the seriously deranged, he remains a legendary favorite.

This 5” x 7” collage depicts the unfortunate Dr. Theremin wearing his formidable headgear and is constructed upon and hand painted canvas board adorned with arcane images. Embellished with an embossed photo matte, photo corners and Dresden trim, this piece features goggles that are (gently) moveable, tiny screw brads and a working antiqued brass spinner. Backed with lovely art paper, signed and fitted with hanging hardware, this piece does not require a frame to hang.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Steampunk Lady Godiva

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 02:59:33 -0400

$225.00
This 8” x 10” x ¾” original collage depicts Lady Godiva and her cat Alaric riding the Amazing Steamhorse through the empty streets of Coventry as a blimp and squinting sun hover overhead. It is executed on a handpainted, stretched, gallery canvas and is composed of hand-aged vintage images and features German Dresden trim and actual tiny gears. Fully finished on the sides, it requires no frame. If you would like a print out of Lady Godiva’s story, please let me know in Buyer’s Notes or send a convo and I will include it. Fully hand printed, cut and assembled. Signed on back. Insurance included in shipping price (Priority mail). High quality heavy paper 8” X 10” PRINTS AVAILABLE for $25.00. Please convo me and I will create a listing for you and calculate postage.

Nifty MOUSEPAD with this design available here:
http://www.zazzle.com/steampunk_lady_godiva_mousepad-144748452071477163
***Fine art prints and greeting card available here:
http://www.redbubble.com/people/winonacookie/art/2040410-2-henrard-bros-apothecary***
The True Story of Lady Godiva

In the famous legend, Lady Godiva so sympathizes with her subjects’ suffering under her husband’s oppressive taxes that she pleads with him to lift the tariffs and give the people some relief. Sick of her persistence and wanting to call her bluff, Leofric tells her he will lift the tax if she rides naked through the city and to his surprise, Godiva does, after instructing the townspeople to shutter their windows and stay inside.

Well, this is the true story of Lady Godiva, passed down for generations in my family. See, Godiva was a tinkerer. She spent hours in a converted stable inventing things. It was the only thing that kept her boring life with the overbearing Leofric even remotely tolerable. Sadly, most of her inventions have been lost to history: Godiva was wise enough to know that any woman inventing things as she did would be promptly burned as a witch in ca. 1300 Coventry, Lady or no. But there was one invention that was so marvelous, so brilliant, she simply had to find a way to try it out. “I have made an astonishing steam-powered conveyance!” she whispered to her cat, Alaric. “It travels many times faster than a horse and monitors one’s mood while doing so!” Alaric stared at her blankly and promptly coughed up a furball. “I’d do almost anything to have the chance to actually take it for a spin,” she sighed.

Godiva had always been a champion of the people – she knew what an utter ass Leofric could be – so when their grumbling about the taxes reached a crescendo, crafty Godiva saw a way to have her cake and eat it, too. And she was always happy to eat some cake. Her campaign of pestering Leofric was unrelenting. Morning, noon and night, “Lower the taxes, lower the taxes” until he finally (and predictably) exploded: “Be still, woman! I will lower those taxes when you strip naked and ride through the city!” And he chuckled to himself, because he himself had never seen the lovely Godiva nude, she was so modest (or so he thought). “Yes!” thought Godiva, “Success at last!”

That very night, she issued a decree that at noon the following day all the townspeople should remain in their homes with their windows tightly shuttered. Godiva was deeply loved by the townsfolk so she knew they would do as she asked. She tiptoed out to the barn, fired up her steamhorse, and always true to her word, gamely shucked herself like an ear of corn and draped her long red hair around her. She added a parasol to the steamhorse (to avoid sunburn) and bid Alaric to accompany her. What a ride it was! It was everything she had dreamed of! The steamhorse was truly magnificent. However, Godiva’s proclamation had eluded one person: my Great-great-great-great-great-great-great Uncle Thomas. He was an inventor himself and was tinkering away in his attic workshop when the decree was issued. He was working on a device that you could point at anything at all and an instant image of it would be made. It was almost perfect. He heard a sound he had never heard before and threw open his attic shutters. What a sight to behold! Thomas was as gay as the day was long and could care less about a naked woman, but that machine! He simply had to make an image! And here you have it. I found it in a velvet box in my grandmother’s basement. It’s quite a bargain when you think about it. And now you know the true story of Lady Godiva…and Peeping Tom.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Emma the Nautilus-naut PRINT

Sat, 03 Oct 2009 02:59:19 -0400

$15.00
If you have not had the opportunity to spend any time several leagues under the ocean lately, you may not have realized just how stylish undersea travel has become. Witness Emma in her clever Nautilus shell craft, gently conveyed along the currents of the briny deep by her pet miniature whale, Fathom. With a her parasol to protect her from falling krill and a sonar horn in the event of traffic jam, Emma loves cruising the colorful coral reefs and continental shelves on Sunday afternoon. With plenty of room below for hitchhikers and stowaways and a turbo propeller for passing power, the Nautilus is the seacraft of choice for the hip underwater set, to be sure!

This listing is for a 4 ½” x 6 ½” (actual size) PRINT of an original collage. Printed in non-fading ink on heavy matte photo paper and hand-signed by the artist (that would be me). Buy with Marcella and her Conch Carriage and save! These would be great grouped together in your powder room!

Last photo shows this print together with Marcella & her Conch Carriage; this listing is for Emma only. Please purchase "set" if you would like both together.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Lysandra Porphyria - Undead Coed

Thu, 01 Oct 2009 01:59:43 -0400

$165.00
Lysandra Porphyria realized, in hindsight, that perhaps continuing to live in University housing as a graduate student may not have been the best idea. The mouldering, half-eaten sandwiches, the “borrowed” underwear, the roommate’s mouth-breathing boyfriend – all that she could have coped with, but the noise! Graduate level biology is difficult enough, but through the nearly visible fog of blaring music and thumping bass, Lysandra could barely distinguish a macrophage from a lymphocyte. She simply had to find some peace and quiet, and the long-abandoned cemetery at the far corner of the campus seemed just the place since century-old corpses do not, as a rule, favor heavy metal. Being a sensible scientist, graveyards held no particular frisson for Lysandra, but she still noticed her hand shook a bit as she jiggled the gates on the ancient mausoleums, hoping she might find one unlocked. Indeed, she did; it was surely one of the oldest, the once-beautiful carving had completely eroded, and it was almost entirely engulfed in twining ivy. Night after night, she’d pack up her mini-generator and lamp, throw in a few candles for ambiance, grab some snacks and pillows and prop herself against the cool crypt inside the mausoleum for many hours of serene, noise-free studying. Well, it was inevitable that she would nod off some evening, and eventually she did, completely sedated by a particularly dry screed on bioengineering. She awoke with a start, and even though her generator had run out and her candles had extinguished, she could see perfectly clearly in the pitch black of the cold mausoleum, well enough to detect the blood on her fingertips after she touched the burning spot on her neck. She pulled a compact from her backpack to inspect the wound and saw – absolutely nothing. She was not there, no reflection at all! “Oh great!” she wailed, to no one in particular, “now I’m a vampire! Like it wasn’t hard enough to get financial aid before I was Undead!” Apparently hungry vampires in graveyards don’t care how smart you are. Being an Undead graduate student did have its advantages, however. She had a literal eternity to finish her thesis, for example, and unfettered access to experimental plasma – always a plus when she was feeling a bit peckish. Even so, her favored haunt for snacks was her old dormitory, and her roommate proved to be quite tasty despite her other less savory attributes.

This 5” x 7” x ¾” original collage depicts Lysandra sporting a pair of (gently moveable) batwings and a jaunty bejeweled tophat and is executed a stretched handpainted gallery handpainted gallery canvas and collaged handmade paper with rosepetal inclusions and with black Thai lace paper. Hand cut and hand assembled from vintage images and ephemera, the piece is accented with beautiful satin ribbon, a pewter frame and a small silver coffin dangles from the bottom of the piece, opening to reveal a tiny skeleton inside. Finished on the back with blood red art paper, signed, and fitted with hanging hardware, no framing is necessary. Goth at its loveliest, Lysandra will enthrall you at Halloween and all year long.

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Debauchery

Sat, 26 Sep 2009 23:27:14 -0400

$160.00
It is difficult to imagine that life in an 18th century royal French court would be a crashing bore, but apparently that is how the dauphine, Marie Frivole found it. Otherwise, why would she send a battalion of besotted but otherwise idle courtiers out to scour the countryside for a look-alike to take her place at palace functions? When one thinks of royal life, it is the grand balls, cotillions, masquerades and enormous feasts that come to mind, and those were diverting, it’s true. However, most days unspooled in a gaping tedium of dull visiting dignitaries, religious observances and stultifying state funerals and Marie simply could bear it no longer. Delphine d’Etoile, a lovely but simple country girl, was hunched over a wash tub, scrubbing away at a wine stain on her best chemise when the dauphine’s courtiers came thundering up to her on their magnificent and terrifying horses. “Sacre bleu!” exclaimed the head courtier, “she’s a twin!” He unceremoniously swept the startled girl up onto his mount and curtly explained, “Your services are required by the future queen” and galloped away with her in a cloud of dust. And that is how Delphine found herself ensconced in the Palais de Versailles being powdered, plucked and painted into an exact replica of Marie Frivole. Exhaustive lessons in etiquette and comportment ensued, and the day soon came when she was to be presented to the dauphine. Now, besides being somewhat flighty and incredibly spoiled, Marie was deeply narcissistic. She took one look at Delphine and fell deeply and madly in love with her. Delphine wasn’t sure she was in love, but dressing up as a conquering general and cavorting with the lovely dauphine under the watchful eye of her pet peacock, Baroque, certainly beat scrubbing laundry in a creek any day. They drank, they ate, they spent vast sums, they disported themselves upon every chaise in the palace and the dauphine’s ladies-in-waiting scrambled to make excuses for her absences. Despite pleas for the dauphine’s caution, the two women were inseparable, and the uproarious scandal that followed is rumored to be the true reason for the decimation of the monarchy in France.

This 8” x 6” x ¾” original collage depicting Marie Frivole and Delphine d’Etoile having a romp under the gaze of a bust of Sappho has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on a stretched hand painted gallery canvas and features vintage images and gold German Dresden trim with brass accents and a lovely jacquard ribbon. Marie’s slippers are glittered and Delphine’s chapeau is accented with a crystal, as is the brass mask above. Sparkling and glowing golden, this is a truly sumptuous piece. Fully finished on the sides and does not require a frame to hang. Signed on back. Insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Greetings from the Ministry of Travel

Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:48:46 -0400

$175.00
Francine has decided to celebrate her appointment as Minister of Travel with a tour around town on her Ostrimobilecopter. And what’s an exciting trip without a postcard to make your friends jealous? This 5 ½” x 8 ½” original collaged image measures 9” x 12” with its embellished ivory-colored matte. Executed on a hand-painted watercolor paper (140 lb. Cold press) background, it features hand-made Thai paper, vintage images, German dresden trim and some (gently) moveable parts. The distressed tag holder at the bottom is fastened with metal brads. Back of the piece is covered in recycled black paper. Signed on back. I will send this piece in a protective sleeve inside a rigid mailer and leave the framing to you (the view on the wall shows her in a very thin black frame that is not included-I just needed to show the piece hanging). Make sure you wave if you look up and see Francine – she’ll honk her Ostrihorn for you! Insurance included in shipping price (First Class mail).

*Fine art prints and greeting card featuring this design now available here: http://www.redbubble.com/people/winonacookie/art/2090867-2-greetings-from-the-ministry-of-travel***

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Imaginary Friends

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:02:36 -0400

$35.00
Clovis and Milton, the closest of friends – which is the real one, do you think? It’s the one thing they argue about. Well, that and who gets the last cigar. And yes, it’s true, this piece has ACTUAL COLOR and it’s still in my shop! Red, even! . 2 ½” x 3 ½” x ½” original collage executed on a small painted wood-stretched canvas with vintage images, real cigar band, art paper and beautiful gold German Dresden trim. Hand printed, cut and assembled. Signed on back. Easel not included. Now you can have your very own imaginary friends – two for the price of one!

**NEW!!** T-SHIRT available with the design here: http://www.zazzle.com/imaginary_friend_t_shirt-235812259830322012

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Black Widow Shadowbox

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 13:02:13 -0400

$300.00
Lady Leticia (nee Nightshade) had a talent for marriage in general and for marrying titled husbands in particular. Her first spouse, Percival Wardore XII, Lord of Aspic, proposed when Letitica was 16 years old, a mere slip of a girl with an odd fascination for brewing up exploding potions with her at-home chemistry set. Only a year later, the unfortunate Lord had expired from a virulent case of heartburn shortly before their first wedding anniversary. Not long afterwards, the lovely Leticia was celebrating her nuptials to the somewhat dour Basil Deadworry, Duke of Wherewithal. Such a tragedy when he was brained by a piece of crumbling statuary whilst taking his morning constitutional around the manor! It did leave Lady Leticia in the possession of quite the fortune, however. An extensive tour of the Continent to recover from her deep sorrow put her in the acquaintance of the dashing Emilian Quinine, Baron of Listing Spigot, and following a whirlwind courtship, they were wed on the opulent oceanliner, Torpid Colossus. Certain cynical members of society where frankly astonished when the good Baron made it back ashore without falling overboard, drowning or being inadvertently swept into the ship’s propellor – some people are so negative! Despite Emilian’s objections to Leticia’s pet mechanical spider, the young couple seemed quite blissful for a time, out dancing at the chicest masquerade balls and scandalously sipping absinthe and carousing at the trendiest cafes. I suppose no one was overly surprised when Baron Quinine was found dead of multiple poisonous spider bites at his gentlemen’s club in town, but it was undeniable that the Lady Duchess Baroness Wardore Deadworry Quinine and her little silver spider had airtight alibis. In full possession of her youth, a vast fortune, and a new nickname, the Black Widow is just waiting for that next special fellow…

This one-of-a-kind 6 ½” x 6 ½” x 1 ¾” original assemblage art piece features a shadowbox portion encased in glass that has been removed for photographing. Lady “Black Widow” Leticia is raised from the background of her baroque wallpapered parlor for 3-D effect, and the remains of her various husbands are pictured behind her. She wears a spider-inhabited black hat festooned with sparkling black glitter, a teardrop crystal at her throat and a lovely jeweled brooch securing her furs. Small corked glass vials containing glittering “Digitalis Compound”, “Chloroform Poison” (with green cubic zirconium stopper) and quartz crystals of “Strychnine” are off to her right in the foreground. Spiders cavort around and above her. The top of the piece features black Dresden trim and a painted wooden art nouveau flourish showcasing Leticia’s silver pet mechanical spider, who is accented with tiny silver watch gears. So delicate, detailed and dark, this piece will captivate you! Back finished with coordinating artpaper and signed. Stands up on its own, but I can include a hook for hanging if you like – simply convo me or mention in your buyer’s notes. Insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Bartleby the Steam Hound

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:03:56 -0400

$130.00
No one was ever apt to call Dinah Percival an agreeable child – stubborn and persistent, she had an uncanny knack for getting her own way. At age four, she had managed to wheedle a puppy out of her beleaguered parents, but not just any puppy, no! She had heart set on a Great Dane she had seen at the pet store, and absolutely nothing else would do. Never mind that the Percivals inhabited a city flat that could only charitably be called “cozy”, the puppy lumbered home after them. When he installed himself upon an ottoman in the parlor and responded to any and all entreaties, orders and summons from his new owners with elaborate yawns, the Percivals concluded that the only name for the dog was Bartleby. In short order, Bartleby became enormous, as Great Danes do, and like his namesake seemed to prefer to do nothing much at all besides drool great lakes upon the linoleum and roll over languidly in the hope of belly scratches. Dinah loved the big galoot, but by her 7th birthday her attentions had drifted in that most predictable of directions for little girls everywhere: she wanted a pony. For most girls, a passing fancy, but it was sheer folly to think that Dinah would let go of the idea without a fight. Of course, no amount of tantruming could make the Percival residence suitable for equine inhabitence, and when Dinah sighed and supposed she’d settle for two pairs of roller skates and a camp lantern, the Percivals barely questioned the odd request, so delighted were they with their very first parental triumph. In their giddiness, they barely noticed the dismantled bicycle, the deconstructed table lamp…As to what followed, well I realize it looks bad. It would be all too easy to conclude that the Percivals were raising a budding sociopathic little monster. But before we bring the Humane Society or PETA into things, please consider that Bartleby, for all his torpor, barely seemed to mind. He was amazingly adept on his skates and was so huge that he barely noticed the tiny Dinah perched on his back. Certainly the back propeller, he could have done without, but all told, he seemed to find it somewhat less strenuous than walking. And Dinah had managed to get her pony. Sort of.

This 5” x 7” x ¾” original collage depicts Dinah and Bartleby ready to take a jaunt around town and is constructed upon a handpainted stretched canvas layered with beautifully textured handmade art paper. Antiqued brass corners and real watch gears accent the piece which is finished with a brown grosgrain ribbon. Dinah wears a small crystal around her neck. Signed on the back, finished on the sides and fully hand-cut and assembled, this collage does not require a frame to hang. Insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Somewhat Baroque

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:22:01 -0400

$40.00
A deeply mysterious and elegant piece handcrafted from an ornate antiqued brass stamped pendant accented with (sealed) black and gold decorative paper, lovely masked art nouveau woman, small smitten moon and crystal accent. Strung on a narrow black satin ribbon with black matte glass beads and finished with a lobster claw clasp, the pendant measures approximately 2 ½” x 1 ½”. This is a long necklace: the ribbon is 32” and hits waist-length on me (I’m short, though).
She arrives veiled in an organza bag. Postage price includes insurance. Due to nature of materials used, it would be best not to wear your lovely lady in the water. Guaranteed for one year (normal wear - if you run it over with your car, I probably can't fix it :-)). Just convo me for address and mail it back and I will fix it for free (minus shipping).

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

The Demented Dr. Runcible

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:22:01 -0400

$120.00
A childhood spent in a drafty Austrian castle probably was not the cause of Wolfgang Runcible’s difficulties, but it certainly did not help matters much. His remote and reserved father took his compulsive childhood dissections of frogs and small insects as an indication that medical school might be in order for the young Wolfgang. But biology was not what interested the boy; he was in search of the creatures’ souls. Although he breezed through his rigorous courses in his Viennese medical school, he remained most fascinated with the workings of the mind. He was forever hatching farfetched theories about the origins of mental difficulties that made him the laughingstock of his older classmates. “Ego? Id? Where does he come up with this stuff?” muttered Herr Jung. “I don’t know, but it sounds like a load of crap to me”, replied Sigmund.

Utterly defeated and desperate, he turned his attention to the formulation of potions that might provide some relief for those suffering from the conditions with which he could so closely identify. Following the close specifications of the voices in his head, he came up with his Sugar-Coated Catharsis Pills. “Best to start with an animal trial”, said the voices, reasonably. Despite the fact that the pills had some unusual and unexpected effects on his cat, Umlaut, Wolfgang decided that he would never truly know unless he tried his concoction himself. As you can see the results were rather startling and necessitated radical alterations to most of Runcible’s headwear. Nothing if not persistent, he graduated medical school at the top of his class and managed to obtain a license to practice medicine, but his unsettling appearance tended to exacerbate the condition of his patients. Nonetheless, he convinced his by then elderly and feeble-minded father to let him convert the castle into an asylum and that is how Doctor Runcible came to administer one of Europe’s most notorious institutions. “Lunatic” is such a harsh term, but then again there are those who would say that if the straightjacket fits…

This 6” x 6” x ¾” original collage depicts Wolfgang and his cat, Umlaut, in one of the asylum treatment rooms. It has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on a stretched hand painted gallery canvas and features vintage images, art paper, Dresden trim and is accented with brass corner. Cat’s wings are (gently) moveable. Fully finished on the sides with handsome black grosgrain ribbon and signed on the back, it does not require a frame to hang, although I can add hanging hardware upon your request (include in Buyer’s Note). Ships First Class mail, insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferrable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Josephine Crampton's Companion

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 17:22:01 -0400

$170.00
The gruff, irascible and decidedly loud Admiral Crampton could not have been considered any girl’s ideal match, but why Josephine decided to put up with him was simply baffling. Kind, quiet and fiercely intelligent, Josephine was an engineer practically from birth, constructing towering edifices from chewed up tinker toys and clever little vehicles from whatever she found lying about. It turned out that the one thing she insisted upon after her marriage to the good Admiral was that she be able to continue her work in medical engineering, improving prostheses for all those unfortunate young men coming home from the war. Well the Admiral didn’t like it one bit, but what could he do? Josephine did all that was expected of her and more, rushing home after work to make dinner, tidy up and ensure her grumbling husband’s comfort and catering to his every whim. She designed systems and devices to reduce her chore time in half so that, after the Admiral commenced his heavy snoring in his favorite armchair, his fetid pipe dangling from one meaty hand, she could tip out to the garage and work on her secret projects until the wee hours of the morning.
You see, Josephine was working on the most astonishing invention! It started out as one of her automatic cleaning devices but soon evolved into a full-fledged house robot. It could clean up, yes, but also cook a bit and fold laundry – Josephine even fitted it with a phonographic speaker so that it could engage in rudimentary conversation and play an array of recordings.
One gloomy Friday, Josephine found herself on the losing side of egg salad roulette with the laboratory’s dubious cafeteria. Deathly ill, she limped home in the rain, pausing every block or so to throw up, so that it took quite some time. The Admiral was already home, and completely ignoring the pathetic condition of his pale, sick and soaking wife, he stormed about booming complaints about his absent dinner. Josephine collapsed onto the sofa, summoned up what strength she could muster and said, “I’m sick and I’d love a cup of tea, please.” A deep shade of vermillion crept up the Admiral, beginning who-knows-where, but ending at the roots of his wispy white hair. His left eyelid twitched violently. He unballed his enormous fists, ripped his hat off the coat rack, grabbed his umbrella and exploded out the door, stomping off to his club.
No one really knows if he came back that night or not, but he was never seen again. Josephine named her robot Cyril and he was most charming as he clicked and whirred around the parlor, serving steaming tea out of a pot to Josephine and her occasional guests, a lovely sonata drifting out of the phonograph on his head. He was quite the gardener too, and one couldn’t help but notice how particularly lush Josephine’s flower beds had become that year and remained ever after.

Josephine and Cyril come to you on a hand painted 5” x 7” x ½” oval stretched canvas backed with beautifully patterned art paper. Josephine wears lovely crystal gem earrings as well as an opalescent oval brooch, and Cyril is accented with sparkling silver watch gears and Phillips head brads. An original collage, this piece includes a 1 ½” pewter tag for hanging (small nail can be hammered through top hole) which has been embellished with a vintage pewter key.

Fully finished on sides and adorned with black grosgrain ribbon. Hand printed, cut and assembled. Signed and dated on the back of the tag. Insurance included in shipping price (First Class mail). I LOVE MY INTERNATIONAL CUSTOMERS: Please convo me BEFORE purchasing so that I can calculate shipping for your location.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Skyclad Witch PRINT

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:04:31 -0400

$25.00
This listing is for a signed 6 " x 8" PRINT on 8" x 10" heavy matte photo paper of the Skyclad Witch and her Familiars. Because of the size of the print, it will be sent Priority Mail. I will refund shipping on additional prints if you buy more than one. More on the witch below:

“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the year –“ That’s right, it’s getting to be that time to start dreaming and scheming of Halloween – yay! To kick off the 2009 Halloween Holiday Season, I bring you a beauty of a skyclad witch and her two familiars. Lovely Annika is relaxing on her chaise with a nice belladonna elixir cocktail after an invigorating full moon nightride upon her favorite broom. Her two familiars, Phantom and Spite keep her company, eager to do her bidding.
Maybe.
If they feel like it.
And it seems like their own idea.
At any rate, the enchanting Annika and her charming assets will bring some magic to your Halloween that is sure to last all year long.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Halloween Print Set

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:03:17 -0400

$25.00
Such a deal! Alizee, Siobhan, Solstice and Ouija all together at one low price! Nothing says Halloween better than a couple of naughty witches. These pieces look great grouped together. Hand-signed and hand-titled. Both prints measure 5 1/2” x 8” (image size is 4" x 6") and are printed on heavy archival matte photo paper.

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Halloween Print - Alizee and Ouija

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 01:02:28 -0400

$15.00
Alizee, party girl extraordinaire, and her constant companion, Ouija, are on their way to the Halloween masquerade, and they certainly know how to arrive in style! This 4” x 6” image is printed on heavy archival matte photo paper and is hand-signed and titled. Just the thing to get you in a festive Halloween frame of mind! Framed original also available – please inquire.

**NEW** HALLOWEEN GREETING CARD featuring this image available here: http://www.zazzle.com/halloween_greeting_card-137167598189697590

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Tea Shrine

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 18:06:15 -0400

$45.00
Upcycled 2 3/8” x 3 ¾” x ¾” tin (which retains a Curiously Strong minty aroma ;-)) has been re-purposed as an homage to tea. On the front, vintage beauty with her parasol perches on a “perfect cup”; vignette is adorned with black Dresden trim and sealed in 2 coats of gloss varnish. The shrine opens to another vintage tea fan carrying her own brass teapot by the light of a cheerful moon. A small corked glass jar filled with Earl Grey tea sits beside her. Inside the lid, two collaged fellows assure you that Afternoon Tea is “a wonderful daily ritual”. Sides of tin are decorated with polka-dotted black scalloped trim. Signed on back. Perfect for the tea lover in your life!

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Moonlight Motoring

Thu, 27 Aug 2009 18:06:00 -0400

$100.00
Lady Millicent Toastwater, in her fashionable jeweled cloche, has embarked upon a little jaunt and brought her faithful companion, Maxwell along for the ride. Her Teacup transport is the very latest model and quite elegant, featuring an aft propellor (in case of flood), airhorn, embellished shade umbrella and teaspoon running board.

**THIS PIECE FEATURED IN THE MAY/JUNE ISSUE OF SOMERSET STUDIOS: http://www.stampington.com/html/ss_mj09.html**

This 6” x 6” x ¾” original collage has been hand-printed, hand cut and hand assembled on a stretched hand painted gallery canvas and is accented with Thai lace paper, handmade art paper with petal and stem inclusions, and accented with black German Dresden trim. This piece has not been sealed and so should be hung in a low humidity location (not a bathroom). Fully finished on the sides and does not require a frame to hang. Please convo me with any questions or if you would like me to add hanging hardware to the back of the piece. Signed on back. Insurance included in shipping price (First class mail).

This original artwork is copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright is not transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Skyclad Witch and Familiars

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 16:37:11 -0400

$175.00
“It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the year –“ That’s right, it’s getting to be that time to start dreaming and scheming of Halloween – yay! To kick off the 2009 Halloween Holiday Season, I bring you a beauty of a skyclad witch and her two familiars. Lovely Annika is relaxing on her chaise with a nice belladonna elixir cocktail after an invigorating full moon nightride upon her favorite broom. Her two familiars, Phantom and Spite keep her company, eager to do her bidding.
Maybe.
If they feel like it.
And it seems like their own idea.
At any rate, the enchanting Annika and her charming assets will bring some magic to your Halloween that is sure to last all year long.

This 6” x 8” x ¾” original collage is handprinted, hand cut and hand assembled on a painted and antiqued stretched gallery canvas and is accented with black Thai lace paper, black Dresden trim, satin ribbon, crystals, jewels and captivating jet beading hanging from the bottom of the piece. It is fully finished on the back with beautiful art paper, signed and fitted with hanging hardware. Insurance included in shipping price.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2009. Copyright to this material is in no way transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – neither image nor story can be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!

Viktor von Valkyrie - A Cautionary Tale

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 16:21:02 -0400

$150.00
**THIS PIECE FEATURED IN THE MAY/JUNE ISSUE OF SOMERSET STUDIOS: http://www.stampington.com/html/ss_mj09.html**

This 6” x 8” x ¾” original collage depicts a portrait of Viktor von Valkyrie, Ph.D., Ph.D., Ph.D. in an embossed oval matte in front of his beloved Oxford and includes representations of his autonautical dirigible and the Vampyricon in flight against a full moon. Viktor’s wings are (gently) moveable. It is executed on a handpainted, stretched, gallery canvas and is composed of hand-aged vintage images and features actual tiny gears and a black metal nameplate. Fully finished on the sides, adorned with black satin ribbon, it requires no frame. There is a hinge at the top the better to hang unhinged Viktor. If you would like a print out of Viktor von Valkyrie’s story, please let me know in Buyer’s Notes or send a convo and I will include it. Fully hand printed, cut and assembled. Signed on back. Insurance included in shipping price (Priority mail).

Viktor von Valkyrie: A Cautionary Tale

The story of Viktor von Valkyrie – such a tragic tale! Born in the farthest reaches of the Slav Republic, no one in Viktor’s village could read or write. Yet somehow Viktor managed to take Ph.D.’s in astrophysics, anatomical biology and theoretical mathematics at Oxford – all before he reached age 27. He achieved a full professorship by the time he was 30 – the same year his hearing began to seriously decline. Convinced of an undergraduate conspiracy to drive him mad with their persistent mumbling, he devised a revolutionary ear trumpet and managed to have it surgically implanted. Although it made sleeping unspeakably awkward, it also enabled the good professor to hear small children eating cornflakes several miles away. In retrospect, this was most likely the first hint that something was seriously amiss, but von Valkyrie’s brilliant inventions, like the autonautical dirigible - the first vehicle to successfully negotiate land, air and water travel - distracted colleagues and friends from that knowledge. However, as Viktor continued to have himself altered in alarming ways, even his most ardent supporters had to admit that he was most certainly deranged. On the eve of the unveiling of his stunningly elegant airship, the Vampyricon, Viktor appeared with set of fully functional mechanized bat wings sprouting from his shoulder blades. With such a disturbing appearance, no one could glean much from his increasingly convoluted lectures. When a species Titanus giganticus land beetle emerged from his cerebral cortex, the college elders knew something had to be done. A plot was hatched to lure the professor to an exclusive asylum hidden away in the Swiss Alps, but of course Viktor overheard every detail of the plan. Packing up his fantastic inventions, he vanished as suddenly as he had appeared, although sightings of the flying scholar have been reported from Prague to the very tip of the Siberian Peninsula. If you see the shadow of his wings overhead, whisper a hello. He will hear you.

This original artwork and story are copyright Ramona Szczerba 2008. Copyright to neither story nor artwork is transferable with the sale of this item. The buyer is not entitled to any reproduction rights – image/story cannot be reproduced without my express written permission. Thanks!