Etsy Shop for StupidCreatures

Fling

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:44:35 -0500

$35.00
As grouchy as Fling looks, he's not grouchy at all. In fact, he's incapable of grouchiness or any other emotion at all because he simply isn't alive. Fling may look like a monster or a very ugly person, but in fact, he is an inanimate object that will only move if you throw it, and will only appear to talk if you're imaginative or crazy. You can tell Fling all of your secrets, and he'll keep them. Sort of. He won't hear them, first of all, 'cause while he has ears, they're fake (in fact, all of him is fake). This eliminates any secondhand gossip, which is great.

Fling is approximately 8 inches (20 cm) tall.

Tyrell

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:36:08 -0500

$35.00
Tyrell is a totally inanimate object designed to resemble a monster or a really ugly person. He doesn't talk, move or perform many functions. His primary purpose is to serve as decoration, stress fidget, accent piece or something to throw. He's perfect for enacting fantasies or showing the therapist where the bad man touched you. If any of this annoys you, that's probably a sign that you should buy Tyrell and address your shortcomings. Tyrell is completely handmade here in the US from recycled materials (except for the eyes).

Tyrell is approximately 8 inches tall.

Glog

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 10:19:35 -0500

$35.00
This soulless little freak is one of several colorful drones that live to do the bidding of people who are taller than they. Chances are, he will just lay around wherever you drop him, as most soft sculptures do. But you may awaken to find half of your hamster missing and your favorite jewelry stripped of its stones. If this is the kind of action you enjoy, leave your doors and windows unlocked at night, and put your pet outside in a puddle of ketchup. If you don't enjoy any of those things, buy Glog. He's guaranteed not to kill or steal.

Glog is approximately 8 inches (20 cm) tall.

Wicky

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:50:03 -0500

$30.00
So, hi. My name's Wicky. It's short for Wicktholomew, or something. At least that's what I say. I have a twin brother named Morsh. He's nice and likes to take me places. I enjoy the places we go and typically let him choose the thing we do. He likes to talk a lot in coffee shops and hold books he doesn't read. I mostly listen and just let him believe what he must. Life is fun and amazing. I try to take a relaxed approach wherever possible. My favorite things to do are climb hills and look at the view, go boating with my stepdad and order yummy takeout food when it's cold. My favorite time of year is the fall.

Wicky is roughly 7 or 8 inches tall. Something like that.

Morsh

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 10:36:01 -0500

$30.00
So, hi. My name's Morsh. That's not short for anything, in fact, I think my mom sneezed when the doctor was filling out the birth certificate. Ha! My little joke. So, I've got a great twin brother named Wicky (maybe Mom hiccuped?) and we're both college aged intellectuals who question everything, except the things that make our lives convenient and easy. You know? And we sit in coffee shops with books open (but we aren't reading), bragging about how we never watch any TV, but for some reason people think we're cool when we talk about our wii. So. Anyway. I like autumn 'cause of the overcast sky. But I like you more than that.

Hwobby Jenkins

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 09:04:16 -0500

$42.00
The other day? I saw this frog, right? And it jumped way up over my head. But I caught it with my ears and stuffed it right into my mouth. It was way neat. Frogs are kind of like cherry tomatoes, but saltier. I'd never done that before and I'm not sure if I'll do it again. I was looking for other things to eat at the time, so I guess it was just the whole hunger thing. Otherwise, I'm 5 years old, I like to read, and my favorite book is Professor Wormbog's Gloomy Kerploppus by Mercer Mayer.

Hwobby is roughly a foot tall.

Georgie

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 01:06:33 -0500

$42.00
Um. My name's George. And, um, my mom calls me Georgie 'cause she says I'm cute. I think she means hungry, 'cause all I like to do is eat. Anything that moves I eat it. Sometimes I eat things that don't move, like rocks and parked cars. I'm 6 years old and I'm in the 2nd grade. My best friend is a cloud named Hester. She never rains on me.

Georgie is roughly a foot tall, give or take.