Search results (tags) for: "humor"

Top 10 Gifts You Can't Get at the Mall

2008-11-30T21:15:00Z

Friends — doesn't receiving a gift that millions of other people have leave a little something to be desired? The thought of giving that type of gift isn't very appealing either. To cure our shopping malaise, here's my list of the top 10 unique and rare items that you won't find anywhere else:

	1. Your Book Rebuilt by TYLERBENDER Send in your favorite retired book and get back an amazing decoy journal to stash in your library. It's a great way to recycle old books, and keep nosey-rosys out of your business! $50. Find more journals from recycled materials.
	2. Hudson Valley Yarn CSA by MVKnits I'm not even a knitter, but supporting an independent fiber farm (and adorable sheep like this) has got to be really good for the karma. Personally, I'd take the yarn and make a lifelike sculpture of this sheep's head. $140 per share in the CSA. (See the video Etsy did with MVKnits.) Find more handspun yarn.
	3. Bunny Rabbit Feltidermy by girlsavage Feltidermy is taking the Etsy world by storm as a less-expensive and more-fun way of preserving the likenesses of pets that have unfortunately 'eaten the big one.' This seller will work with you to preserve the memory of a loved one's recently deceased pet, but will be "announcing the cutoff date for Christmas custom creations soon." Act now (or forever hold your peace!). This large size bunny is $120.
	4. Blue Baseball by LemonBall These unique handstitched baseballs are so old school it hurts, and are made in the ol' US of A. Speaking from experience, they make great gifts for all the sports fans on your list (who are notoriously hard to shop for.) $24. Find more balls in the Toys Category.
	5. Brief jerky by mixedspecies In economically difficult times, gifts that can serve multiple functions are the best gifts. These briefs are not only unbelievably fashionable, but they're also a great source of emergency protein. One size fits/feeds most. $139. Find more men's underwear.
	6. Cut Your Own Loaf Soap by chasestreetsoapco For all the dirty birdies in our lives, this custom soap loaf* (where you choose your own scent, color, and exfoliant) is just what the doctor ordered. Literally. *Each loaf normally yields 15-17 3.5 oz bars. $45. Find more vegan soap for men.
	7. Recycled Wine Bottle Glasses by SurfsideCreations Besides being an amazing display of craftsmanship and ingenius recycling, these wine bottle glasses would be much easier to drink out of than the hundreds of broken bottles that litter my apartment. $70. Find more recycled glassware.
	8. Commission a Pet Portrait by candiceart For the people on your list who would rather have a portrait made of their pet than get a portrait of you. $75. Find more pet portraits.
	9. Custom Thumbprint Ring by chrisparry This seller will create a true-to-life portrait of your thumbprint onto the top of a silver ring, so that future generations will always remember how OOAK you are! $249. Note: Leaving this at a crime scene would be disastrous.
	10. Custom-made 3D Island by AdmiralSlade For the recluse in your life who would rather spend the holidays on his or her own island! This little model is meant for gamers, but I think it could work as an intriguing element for your home decor. $6. You might also like terrariums.

Good luck, friends. Get out there and "cut your own loaf."

More Holiday Shopping Posts | Gift Guides | Top 10 Lists

Chickenpants: The Quest

2008-11-27T20:02:00Z

Yes, chickens (not turkeys) rejoice today!

Claire Chambers aka absolutelysmall loves plush. Her soft creations are original designs made to make people smile. Clarie started making Chickenpants plush toys because, as she says, "You can't hug a painting!"

Claire started making stop motion videos with her chickenpants creations. From Claire:

"I've wanted to make stop motion animation literally since I was a kid. (Saw it on Muppet Babies, and it stole my heart.) I always figured you'd need special cameras and who knows what to make it happen, though. Then I got a Photojojo email that changed that. I found all I needed was a digital camera and iMovie...and I happened to already have both. Most of the videos are very clearly shot in our kitchen and living room, with plenty of fingers in the way and visible strings...just the way I like them! (Raised on MST3K, anyone?) People should revisit their crazy projects that might seem impossible. Who knows what advancements have been made in that area? The world needs to see more crazy, genuine projects."

She's running a special in her shop, by the way. Today through Sunday, you can get free shipping in the US and Canada, discounted everywhere else. Get your piece of chicken!

Chicken Pants Posts | More Videos at blip.Chickenpants.tv | Shop for Plush Toys

Etsy Finds: Halloween Hooligans—You know, the Trick Part

2008-10-02T09:35:00Z

Nogoodniks think they're pretty cool this time of year. For any of you who have had the trees in your front yard toilet-papered, you know what I'm talking about. Nothing makes you feel more like an old fart than when the local teens egg your car. Yeah, sucker, you really needed your mailbox smashed to bits, didn't you? Below you'll find my personal Halloween Empowerment Plan.

Eggheads - Waldorf Playtime People

Hoard these good eggs to ward off the badduns. By Pulpdesigns, $35.

View item | View Shop | Add to Etsy Favorites

Vintage Halloween Masks 1960s-1970s deadstock

When the baddies approach your house, dart out at them in this vintage skull mask, arms a-flailing. By thevintagesupplyco, $8.

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Uh Oh...Busted

Remember, every teen prankster who toilet-papers your bushes started off as a naughty baby prankster. By VeraLevi, $18.

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Skinnitrix the Couchie

Ok, if you're not into confrontation, you can always hide under your blanket and squeeze this lil moster guy for consolation. By MayBeMe, $20.

View item | View Shop | Add to Etsy Favorites

TeePee - 1 Inch Pinback Button

Scared to death about the impending All Hallows' Eve? The first rule of self-defense is self-confidence. Project an air of self-assuredness from here on out with these toilet paper buttons by Buttonhead, $1.50.

View item | View Shop | Add to Etsy Favorites

Ruffian Mobile

Ok. Maybe you could rig up a spotlight that would cast a shadow from this mobile onto the side of your house. Then the ruffians will think your home has already been taken care of by some of their nasty brethren. Ingenious! By SaltyandSweet, $30.

View item | View Shop | Add to Etsy Favorites

ORIGINAL CTHULHU SCULPTURE BISCUITBOY

fenrislorsrai recommended I include something from H.P. Lovecraft. You just can't go wrong with CTHULHU. By biscuitboy, $47.50.

View item | View Shop | Add to Etsy Favorites

Dog Pile Soap - Natural Hot Process soap - birthday cake scent

Surround your porch with these dog poo soaps. They'll keep jack-o-lantern smashers away and hey, after Halloween you can wash your hands, stress free. Poo that smells like birthday cake — how cool is that! By LilyBaySoap, $2.75.

View item | View Shop | Add to Etsy Favorites

Five Tiny Copper Wire Black Spiders

Courage! Toss these babies into the candy bag of any suspicious trick-or-treater! By LyonsCreations, $7.75.

View item | View Shop | Add to Etsy Favorites

Looking for more Halloween Finds? Try these Etsy links:

Autumnal Showcase | Halloween Gift Guide | Items Tagged "Halloween Trick" | More Halloween Shopping Posts on the Storque

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Yarr! Ahoy, Pirates Enjoy Yer Day

2008-09-19T18:12:00Z

Talk like a Pirate Day has come yet again, ye maties! Yarrrrrr!

Handmade Kids: Pregzilla Strikes!

2008-08-05T12:45:00Z

I haven’t been called “Pregzilla” yet, but I’m sure various friends and family members are saying it silently in their heads. Unfortunately, the many surprising things that happen to your body during pregnancy are just unavoidable and can make one a little…well…cranky. (Who would have thought that an entire Pepto Bismol commercial would apply to me all at once?) At any rate, I’m glad Etsy and its sellers are here with their fabulous items to help me look at the humorous side of being pregnant and find some relief.

The Belly

Ok, where did my toes go and why all of a sudden am I buttoning my pants only by feel? Why are strangers in elevators coming up and rubbing my stomach like a cat? This fabulous t-shirt helps me find the humor in growing in size every day. By flauntitmaternity, $20.

The Mood Swings

I must admit that I burst into tears while watching the Transformers movie. Something about how Bumblebee continued to fight despite his missing leg was just inspirational for me. Other times I find everything that everyone does to be complete shenanigans and am pretty sure that it would be physically possible for me to explode. During these emotional ups and downs, I find that this hilarious pendent really gives people fair warning. By gorgeousredhead, $6.

Sore Feet, Over-Heated and Feeling Gross

I know I don’t look pretty all the time. Heck, I don’t even force my husband to tell me I do. When I do want to cool off and relax, I go for Amaretto Honey Oatmeal Creme Fraiche. By savor, $11.

And pamper those tootsies with the Loofah Foot Bar. By tropicalbomb, $5.

Insatiable Hunger and Food Aversions

Yes, it is entirely possible to be nauseated, starving and have all of the food in front of you look absolutely disgusting at the same time. If a problem like this should ever strike you, have no fear. You’ll find it absolutely impossible to turn down these wonderful Vanilla Homemade Caramels. By earcmra, $10.

Ginger is supposed to be great for nausea. Try these fabulous Gourmet Cookies. By busybaker, $7.99.

Me Time
Remember that quality “me-time” is slowly coming to a close. There’s nothing wrong with splurging a little to remind yourself what a good job you’re doing, you know, growing a human body inside of you and all. Here are my suggested feel-good buys:

Coffee Sleeve by karley, $5.50.

When It's Over Print by ChristinaPerdue, $35.

Truly Romantic Necklace by UnderGlass, $29.

Moby the Whale Rattle by babybomb, $15.

Enjoy!!

Further Resources:
What to Expect
Baby Center
Pregnancy Baby Gaga

Handmade Kids Series | Special Kids Showcase | Baby Gift Guide | Children Gift Guide

Etsy Pets: Brawny Cats

2008-07-12T09:17:00Z

Deep in the Magic Forest of Arizona there is a property set back which is nearly unseen from the dirt road. If one ventures onto it the tranquility one feels is almost palpable. Stop for a minute and listen. All one hears is the singing and chirping of birds, the buzz of hummingbird wings, and the gentle rustling of leaves as squirrels and rabbits forage for food. When breezes pick up, the melodic wind chime collection fills the air.

Two humans and two cats inhabit the home, which has a wrap-around porch on three sides. The alpha male human is an inventor who came from a long line of inventors (his grandfather invented the folding box process and the first folding box machine). He spends his days in a separate building creating his own inventions, and has several patents to his name, with the most recent being for the world’s best electric heater. His wife is a nurse half the week and works diligently at her Etsy shop the rest of the week.

The couple lost many cats over a period of years because the wildness of the area has some major predators. There are bobcats, coyotes and hawks, always hungry, and always ready to make a meal of house cats.

The couple was very sad for about 10 months after their next-to-last cat went missing. The husband pestered his wife several times a day about getting more cats. Finally, the wife agreed, and decided each of them would have their own kitten. She decided hers would be a Bengal named Mica, a purebred that arose from the blending of an Asian Leopard Cat and a tabby. The animals have sleek, velvety fur which either sports spots like a leopard, or a mottled, almost tie-dyed look. She chose the spotted look. Her husband chose an alley cat of the same age, named Bart. The two would be raised as brother and sister.

The plan was to have a place where the cats could enjoy the outside and yet remain safe from predators. Thus the inventor created a wonderful outdoor porch in which the cats could play without fear of being added to a lunch menu. But that was not all — he added a giant wheel to the enclosure, and trained the cats to run on it for exercise. The original Bengal cattery had such wheels, and it seemed a wonderful idea. The cats run on the wheel off and on each day in their special covered porch, and have buffed up incredibly! The veterinarian says she has never seen such healthy cats! They spend from 9 am to 4 pm outside, and return inside and spend the evening basking in the glow of their health. They have never scratched a piece of furniture, they don’t smoke, have sex or get in trouble with the police. Mica and Bart do have one vice, though: a squirt of whipping cream each evening. Mica yowls loudly for it, and Bart stands by silently and accepts the gift.

Both cats have inspired the wife in her collage art; they are remarkable cats and are putting their human counterparts to shame with their exercise ability and commitment. The cats inspire the couple to forge ahead with their exercise regimens.
Would it not be wonderful if zoos had such giant wheels for their larger cats and maybe even some primates?

Bark the Vote

2008-07-10T16:00:00Z

Dogs are definitely getting more political these days. (Or at least their owners are.) It seems our dogs can get us to do just about anything. They want to sleep on the bed? We move over. They whimper and give puppy dog eyes? We give them treats. Bark at the door? We let them out. So how far does the dog’s influence go? For some people, it extends into giving their dog a political voice.

Owners and their politically-minded dogs have a wide range of products to choose from. They can support their favorite presidential candidates with items from several Etsy sellers. I have been inspired to sell dog bandanas bearing the slogans, "Barkers for Barack", "RePUPlicans for McCain", and "Canines for Clinton". AutumnLeavesJewelry creates custom dog tags for Barack fans. Dogs looking for a less subtle way to speak their mind can opt for the full t-shirts from alfieandrex with the logo, "Dogs 4 Obama", emblazoned on their back.

The messages move beyond the upcoming presidential election. An intelligent dog would probably appreciate a "Smarter than the President" bandana available from makeyourdogsmile's shop. Peaceful pups are the perfect candidates for the "Another Puppy for Peace" shirt created by Blackflag317.

Have a dog who is afraid to speak his mind? Never fear! Dog-owners can wear their pets’ opinions as well. Campaign buttons abound in thedogcoatlady’s shop for every breed from Boxers to Westies.

These buttons are not limited to dogs, either. Cats and even ferrets can speak their mind vicariously through their owners.

Want to support your dog’s opinion but not sure which party your dog would endorse? Take this quiz from squidoo.com to quickly determine your dog’s political leanings.

Republican vs. Democrat: Is your dog a donkey or an elephant?
Republican Pets:
1. They bark at passing neighbors and traffic; home security is very important to them.
2. Their ears perk up when Fox News comes on.
3. They are a big spender at the local pet store.
4. Strongly believe pet matrimony should only occur between two cats or two dogs.
5. Believe in the 2nd amendment right to bear teeth and claws.
6. Are for electric border fences for the yard.
7. Want national ID tags for all pets.
8. They advocate for the pet tracking chip — you can never have too much security!

Democrat Pets:
1. They want universal veterinary care for all!
2. They want their treats for free.
3. They socialize with all breeds at the dog park.
4. They prefer their owner uses biodegradable poop bags.
5. Are very concerned with the rising rate of pet food.
6. Have the young puppy and kitten vote locked.
7. Want an end to the war of dogs vs. cats once and for all.
8. Think of Ralph Nadar as the dog catcher.

Once you know where your dog falls, you can register him to vote at mypoliticalpet.com, a "non-partisan, informative, free website dedicated to your pets and the latest political news." There you and your dog can connect with pets from across the nation and discuss the latest political issues. You can also monitor important animal issues including keeping pets out of labs and the dog and cat fur prohibition act.

When you consider the fact that elected officials make decisions that can affect the lives of pets, it doesn’t seem so far-fetched to let your dog influence your vote. After all, it is not just your world, it’s your dog’s, too.

Now I have to wonder, would my dog influence the way I vote? I don’t know…I guess it would depend on what she was wearing at the time, and of course, where she bought it.

Another Perspective on Inventions and Patents

2008-07-08T15:38:00Z

Although SarahSays is an attorney licensed to practice law in the State of New York, she is *not* a patent attorney. However, she does understand patent law a bit better than most of us. This article examines U.S. patent law and provides some fun examples from the entrepreneurial and creative field of U.S. patents.

The Constitution of the United States gives Congress the power to enact laws relating to patents, in Article I, section 8, which reads: “Congress shall have power... to promote the progress of science and useful arts, by securing for limited times to authors and inventors the exclusive right to their respective writings and discoveries.” As I mentioned in a previous article, a U.S. patent gives an inventor the right to exclude all others from making, using, importing, selling or offering to sell the invention for up to 20 years without the inventor's permission.

That means that for a limited time the owner of a patent is entitled to make and sell the invention, free from competition. The owner of the patent can also license the patent, so that someone else can make the invention or the owner can go to court and ask a judge to stop another person from making or selling the invention that is defined by the claims in the patent. In effect, a patent can be a powerful legal tool which allows the patent owner the sole right to a competitive edge in the market for the term of the patent.

U.S. patent law specifies the general field of subject matter that can be patented and the conditions under which a patent may be obtained. In the language of the statute, any person who “invents or discovers any new and useful process, machine, manufacture, or composition of matter, or any new and useful improvement thereof, may obtain a patent,” subject to the conditions and requirements of the law.

Some patents have protected historical or famous inventions like Eli Whitney’s Cotton Gin or Thomas Edison’s Flying Machine.

However, there are many patents that may not have such historical significance (thanks patentoftheweek.com).

Sick of your ordinary toilet? How about a mouth-shaped urinal or a toilet tank aquarium.

And don’t you just hate it when you have to blow out those pesky candles on your birthday cake? Good thing in 1964 Paul Bosak patented his birthday cake candle extinguisher! And, of course, the next time my computer is on the fritz, I’ll be sure to thank the inventor of my computer repair kit.

Sure, I’m smiling as I read over some of these patents, but remember, each patent represents a lot of time and effort (not to mention money) put into the invention. And it’s likely that the inventor will police their patent for the term of the patent.

For more information on U.S. patent law, check out the United States Patent and Trademark Office’s website. If you want to search for a patent, try Google’s Patent Search.

What do you think about patent law? Please share any interesting patents in the comments below!

MixedSpecies Unboxed

2008-05-27T17:40:00Z

David Crosby-Etheridge, Jr made a delightful video unboxing cards from Mixedspecies. Very cool that that they're friends with Dave.
See more videos in the Multi-media section.

Father's Day Showcase | Gift Guide for Him | Father's Day Gift Guide | A Dude's Perspective

Faux Commercial with scarypretty

2008-05-22T18:07:00Z

Hollie Dzama aka scarypretty collaborated on this wonderful faux commercial with her friend Myles Langlois.

Angel Sweet Sweet Cupcake

Amazing.

My Top 10 Whales

2008-05-13T14:07:00Z

Ever wondered what whales were really saying to one another when they are singing those mysterious songs and clicks? Are they warning each other from danger, or do you think they are talking about how much they would really just like to try tasting peanut butter once in their lives? Well, I would like to go whale watching at least once in my life. Here are my top 10 whales on Etsy at the moment:

Above, you will find my Number One Etsy whale from Itybitybags' shop. This whale tote would be perfect for shopping at the farmer's market or a stroll to the post office and it's a steal at just $35.

This print conveys a carnivalesque nature that grabbed my attention right away. I might display it in a half bath or tiny little nook in a hallway. eggmanstudios's shop $12.

These little whale shakers came VERY close to being my number 1....but alas, here they are ranking in at number 3. It's too bad I recently switched over to sea salt and cracked pepper grinders or else these babies would be mine already (I have to make up exuses sometimes, ahem). domestikate's shop $15.

This whale belt buckle would make any outfit an instant showstopper. Guys, go out with this one on and just wait for the ladies to start commenting on it! buncombebuckles's shop $54.

This whale softie is more of a work of art than a toy in my mind; it just seems so fragile and gentle. I think it has a couple secrets under those sunken eyes. SloGator's shop $35.

These must be the first whale dishtowels I have seen on Etsy thus far; do I smell a trend about to explode? artgoodies's shop, $12.

Ok, these little whale booties would be perfect for my little niece or nephew that's on the way, right!? GraciousMay's shop, $16.95.

I can't get over the articulated mouth on this whale necklace, this one is a true gem. citizenfox's shop, $18.

Thank your friends in style with these whale cards. nydampress's shop, $4.

I am a tried and true fan of these little whale card minis; they make the perfect little thank you for your Etsy packages that are going out. time2cre8's shop, $3.

What's that you say? You can't get enough whales either? Give me links to your favorite Etsy whales in the comments below! Email to your tchotchke-addicted friends! See our other Top 10 posts here.

When You Don't Like Your Mom...

2008-05-08T15:18:00Z

Mother's Day can be pretty annoying. Not to disparage all the amazing moms out there, but some of us have "challenging" relationships with Mama. Here is a collection of humorous pieces to lighten the overbearing load.

Most likely you have other cool people in your life and Mother's Day is a good time to share a laugh with them! You are not alone!

My Top 10 Ceramic Figurines

2008-05-06T16:41:00Z

All this talk about Mother's Day has me reflecting on the tchotchke-collecting gene. I got it from my mom and she from her parents (both her mother and father had vastly different tastes). While pining away for my grandparents' house and all the long-gone the curios therein, I studied up on the art and science of collecting ceramic figurines. Here's my personal Top 10 List...

Old Standby:
therunnybunny has some classics that give you such a strong sense of nostalgia, it's almost hypnotizing (and this owl couple is only $15):

Vintage clowns are always there, peeking out at you around every corner of every vintage shop. They're old friends:

ModishVintage $14.75

Sensuality:
You wouldn't think you would find your sensuality-totem in a camel, and yet here we are...

DagaDesign $54.00

Abstraction:
I didn't even know what this one is supposed to be at first, because it is elemental.

nightlydeity $5

Slightly Primitive Precariousness:
Delicately, quietly...

Runningrabbitpottery $35

Functionality:
I need a fat lil piggybank. Yes, I do.

KelasBabyBoutique

At first I thought I'd put this mouse under the above category, but then realized its awkwardness is due to its function: ring-holder/extravagant mutant tail holder:

OliveVintage $8 (I'm buying this.)

Solice for your Desperation:

creativelo $14

Fear:
See also the bear at the top.

fruitflypie $14

Give me links to your favorite ceramic figurines in the comments below! Email to your tchotchke-addicted friends!

Trends: Enabling Pets to Express their Fashion Sense

2008-04-30T13:15:00Z

What makes us human? Some say our ability to use language. But that was proven wrong by the discovery that apes communicate quite well. Aren't we all familiar with Koko's story? And yeah, as those of us who have lived with domesticated animals understand, pets communicate too. How silly for humans to think that cats, for example, can't talk. Check out the Chatty Kathys in the video below.

Some human-centric people may say that culture is what makes humans so special. Sorry, folks, apes got that, too. And on Etsy, trendsetting is not a distinctly human characteristic — our pets have style! Maybe Hugo the cockapoo can't handstitch his own faux leopard print coat, but honey, you know it's only because of those little paws. You — as his human companion — know deeply and intimately that this is what he wants to be wearing. Because he has personality, and it needs to come out! It's your duty to assist him. Here are some of the latest trends in pet fashion...

Laid Back, Classic Style:
Here's a classic choice for your pets' bowls by BlackMtnFurniture:

Slightly distressed and rustic. "If you need a feeder a different height please email me for a price as we can customize one to fit your pets' needs!" BlackMtnFurniture also takes custom Alchemy requests for any pet furniture (or human furniture, too, I suppose) that you might need.

Understated polka dot leash by anniessweatshop:

She has matching collars too.

For the Pampered and Posh:
If you sometimes enjoy feeling that irrepressible desire to squeeze a cute little thing 'til it suffocates...then you should know about designsfordinkydogs. I just broke out in a cold sweat when I found this pink carrier:

This bonnet comes with matching frock, with harness built right in:

Another sophisticated option, blue Chinese silk coat by Meanypie:

Classy bowtie look for your puppeh by miascloset:

For the Hipster:

This collar by transaction is really cool! Stylish and good quality, too:

hatz4brats's snooded coats for a fun, retro chic pooch:

Delicately sardonic pet clothing by pamperedpoochie:

Tattoo-inspired tags for the punk. By inkart76:

Moustaches are so in right now:

Catstache catnip toys by prairiebird come in felt or leather.

For the Quirky Pet:
Pet bed in a vintage suitcase by Chiesta:

Cat wigs by eenodol, who says, "Convo me for a custom order! The crazier the better! I'll attempt anything :) ":

Looks like the cat is about to attempt something, too.

Check out natdesigns2003's goldfish cat beds:
I love these. It's so perfect for the weirdo cat you have a love/hate relationship with. Fluffy gets to glare at you and look fierce in her ominous lair, while you get to snicker at her ridiculous "hidey hole." ...Yeah, but you're still in a co-dependent relationship, so who is really laughing?

Custom costumes and regalia for special occasions by granolahead. You can also use Alchemy to get that magical transformation you and your pet are dreaming of (a la your pug dressed as that creature Aughra from The Dark Crystal). Perchance to go along with your fantasy-themed wedding?

Ooooor...pirate-themed.

Older dogs:

portlypug's hats for the grandma pooches:

Awww. Who's over the hill?

AspenGroveBoutique's diapers for old man dogs.

For the Athletic Type:
Some dogs are sporty. Not all dogs want cute fashion options. Here is an attractive and practical snood by COZYHORSE:

These booties by Ruth, a dog musher, and her friend alaskaleash come straight from Alaska:

Sorry, couldn't resist the cute. I convoed this seller to beg her to shoot a video and upload it to Youtube. Fingers crossed.

For the Nerdy Ones:
Then again, some pets are more, how shall I say this — indoor types. Bookish even. Sweater from DianaDesignsNY:

Some are eager to please. Saddlepack by Dogonwear:

For the Naughty Ones:
Snuggleworm will want to wear his cozy jimjams after munching a bit too much of the nip. Catnip toys by squirrelonaledgetop:

And here are the jimjams. By furkidfever:

Ever wonder if Divine from Pink Flamingos is secretly re-incarnated as your pet? Dog tags by sudlow:

Ok, here's the thing. Maybe you are secretly the reincarnation of Divine:
Cat Butt earrings by outofthepinksky:

Can I end an article with What???

Please share in the comments below. I want links to flickr pictures and I want to be squealing with glee. Check out more Trends pieces on the Storque!

Do You Speak Etsy? Funny Lingo for Etsians

2008-04-01T14:54:00Z

When you open a shop on Etsy, you know you're joining a community of talented artisans and enthusiastic crafters from all over the world. You set up your account, hang your virtual shingle for the world to see, and obsess over every last detail of your new little corner of the Internet.

Pretty simple, right? Well, not so fast. As you spend more and more time on Etsy, inevitably there comes a day when you think to yourself, "I have absolutely no idea what that person just said." You were probably in the Forums, and saw a thread called "How can I get a Treasury? HELP!!??" Or maybe you were perusing a thread called "Which is better - a blog or Flickr? And do you Mini? HELP!!??", and you came across a comment like this: "I think there was a Storque article about this. Check this link...." Your first thought, naturally, is "Storque? Like the bird that brings the babies? I think they spelled it wrong...."

So you go back to the Etsy home page, and take a minute to really look around. The words float before you in a dizzying array: "Pounce," "Time Machine," "Treasury," "Conversation." And then it hits you: no matter what your native language, you've got some learnin' to do.

It takes time and dedication to learn Etsy-speak. Time, because in your quest to learn, you will spend hours in the Forums, reading Storque articles and clicking on anything more than three pixels wide on the main page. It also takes dedication, because even though there will be days you wish you could just throw in the towel, just give up on trying to learn all these...words...you'll find you always return. To the Forums. To the Storque. To the main page. But, if you are willing to do those two simple things, you will make progress. You will learn. You will become fluent in Etsy-speak.

After a few weeks, all will seem well and good. You're posting in the Forums, you're listing new items and expertly checking the Time Machine 2, you're exchanging friendly messages with fellow Etsians. But one day, quite by accident, without even thinking, you'll turn to your husband and say, "Go ahead and start dinner without me, honey. I just need to send a quick convo." After a few seconds of puzzled silence, his face lights up. "Convoy?! I love that movie! Kris Kristofferson rocks. Ten-four, good buddy!"

And as your husband walks away chuckling to himself about 70's trucker movies, you turn back to your computer screen and realize you're not in Kansas anymore. It begins to dawn on you that the world you now take for granted, the one you effortlessly float through on a cloud of Convos, Gift Guides, and Colors, is a world very much removed from the one everyone else you know lives in. That is to say, their world. The one they call "real."

So you don't mention Etsy again for about a week, and things get back to normal. Then, to your delight, you discover a pair of your earrings featured in a Treasury. "Honey! I'm in a Treasury!" "The Treasury? I think it's in Washington D.C. Or is it Kentucky? No, that's Fort Knox. Yeah, I'm pretty sure it's in Washington."

At this point, you realize you have two options: attempt to teach Etsy-speak to your family and friends, or leave things as they are and get used to dinner conversations where your husband, trying to be supportive, asks, "So, did your Treasury get muted in the Storque?" The choice is obvious.

Usually it will be a simple misunderstanding. "I wonder if I should invest in a Holiday Showcase?" "Well, we don't really have room for more furniture." Occasionally jealousy rears its ugly head. "Jared says he wants us all to Pounce." (Stony silence). And sometimes talk moves from Etsy to other venues where you work to promote yourself. "I'm thinking about putting a Mini on my blog." "Don't be so hard on yourself, sweetie. You have a great figure."

In the end, once you've found your Etsy-speak comfort zone with family and friends, it will take something truly monumental for the cracks to show. "Honey! Guess what?! I made the front page! Gosh, I just sent ten Convos to my Team to let them know. I hope I don't get muted!" And suddenly your dear husband resembles a Stepford robot on the fritz. "Right. That would be bad. I mean, good? No, bad. Right? Good? Bad."

At that point, all you can do is smile sympathetically and head straight back to the Forums to count up how many threads you've killed. Just don't try to tell your husband why that's bad. Or good?

For more Etsy Lingo explanations, check out our How-to and the Etsy Wiki. Or continue obsessively reading the Storque to feed your hunger for funny posts about Etsy addiction.

Funny Forum Quotes: Valentine's Edition (with tiddyinks!)

2008-01-10T18:24:00Z

tiddyinks says:

Chillionaire says:
what about falling in love with Etsy? I think I'm pretty much married to this place now....

-----------
"my hubby swears I am ! :) The sex is definitely better with Etsy....jk"

From our Etsy Romance thread in the Forums! Share your Etsy romantic stories today!

Etsy Finds: It's Gettin Kinda Heavy

2007-12-28T11:38:00Z

I've gorged myself this holiday season, pushed my body to the brink. So, I'm eyeing this scale with some humility and well, fear.

wendygold sells these custom scales, with the apt advice, "Lighten Up!"

Etsy Finds: Cerberus Gets the Mail

2007-12-09T12:02:00Z

Supplanting the mundane with the fantastic, Mikeatron's Cerberus Gets the Mail is one part suburban routine and three parts mythical absurdity. Normally, being chased by a gigantic bloated hellhound would be frightening, but the mutt in question here looks positively ebullient. I imagine the mail carrier in the doomed truck giving a knowing smile and wink as he floors the accelerator for his life.

The artistry here is top-notch. Check out the coloring on the underside of the beast -- he's being underlit by the glowing green of the vegetation below him. The composition is fantastic too; Cerberus touches two of the edges of the image, making him seem larger than life.

This print would be a great pick for the dark humorist in your life!

Special Interview: Amy Sedaris

2007-12-07T07:26:00Z

To those of you who are familiar with Amy Sedaris, please join us in excited squealing. To those of you that haven't yet had the pleasure, The Storque is ecstatic to introduce the hilarious crafty lady known as Amy Sedaris, aka Jerri Blank. Amy is best known for her cult television series Strangers with Candy, her affinity for rabbits and fake food, her hit crafty hostessing book, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence, and her wickedly unique sense of humor (and voice!) that gets inside your head and just never leaves.

The Storque is SO EXCITED to give you this special interview with Amy. But first, here's a little video introduction, where Amy appeared on Todd Oldham's (her bff) television show, Handmade Modern. (They decoupage tables!)

Without further ado, here's Amy!

How do you, Amy Sedaris, set the mood for entertaining at a party?
Lighting helps me in this situation, as well as music, and the pill I just swallowed.

What is your favorite childhood memory?
One of my favorites was getting my best friend to load up my lunch box with candy. Her father was a candy distributor, so there was a huge closet full of candy in the house.

What is your favorite holiday tradition?
I enjoy all the holidays. I like having something around to keep me in the spirit. Halloween I get a pumpkin, Christmas I put up a tree and I will dye eggs at Easter. You know, the usual.

Do you go back to North Carolina for the holidays? Do you consider yourself a Southern Belle?
I consider myself a New Yorker when I'm in N.C. and I consider myself a Southerner when I'm in N.Y. I go home and visit 3 times a year.

What do you like to give as gifts for loved ones?
I just like a gift that shows you put some thought into it.

Do you incorporate any of your costumes and personalities into your parties?
Sometimes. The last time I dressed up in full costume was for Sangria Night.

If you were to take one of those magazine quizzes about your fashion sense, what would the results be?
"Costume. Too young. Too homemade looking. Rickrack?"

Your fake cakes are really popular. What's the secret?
Having someone else frost them for me.

You'll be at the Bust Craftacular. (Etsy is a sponsor. We'll see you there.) Have you enjoyed this event in the past? What sort of reactions do you get from people who meet you? From your fans?
I've never been a part of this craft fair so I'm excited. I love meeting crafty people.

Would you like to share a recipe with us?
Hillbilly Milk Shake:

Take an empty, unwashed jelly jar.

Add milk.

Shake.

Can you tell us about your collections and what drives these passions?
I like to hang on to things in case I need them to use for something else. I love a good prop. I would love to have my own prop and costume shop. I have stuff from first grade. Some things I keep for fear of running out, like cupcake pokes. I have too many.

We love seeing you on Letterman. Can you tell us a bit more about your relationship?
I don't kiss and tell.

To buy Amy's book, go here! If you're in the NYC area, you should come to the Bust Craftacular on December 8th, where Amy will be signing books and selling her wares. (And Etsy will be there too, handing out Etsy promos!) She's a crafty lady's funny dreamboat, and we love her to bits.

Below, you'll find some of our Amy-inspired picks!

Gift Ideas: MATURE and Humorous Gifts that'll Make You Say Hmmm!

2007-11-29T19:19:00Z

Warning! Mature content ahead! Also, funny content ahead!

Do you want to go down in holiday gift giving history? Do you want everyone to talk about that hysterical gift you gave 'Uncle Johnny' 10 years from now? Well, check out these amazingly funny or just plain wacky handmade items. They're sure to make you a gift giving legend and keep people laughing for years to come!

Underpants are usually a pretty disappointing gift. Not this year! Imagine tearing open a package and finding a pair of Brief Jerky by mixedspecies. Just be sure to lock up the dogs before presenting your friend with this one! Oh, and be sure your loved one tries them on to make sure they fit, too.

Then there are always the good ol' wiener and boobie related joke gifts. These pillows by knittingkneedle and kinkycrochet may make 'Aunt Mildred' a bit uncomfortable, but everyone else is guaranteed to be rolling on the floor with laughter. And hey, Boobs & Dinks by shannongerard are Early Detection Kits for preventing cancer. So, you know, this is serious business, these boobs and dinks (see the Storque's craftivism article about crafting and cancer).

And if you are going for that "I'm only laughing because I don't know what to say" kind of reaction, you may want to check out this Man Spider Porcelain Figurine by melabo or this Where Do Hotdogs Come From Print by unusualcards. Or The Letter M alphabet painting by rthies.

Be sure to check out the selections below for more hysterically awesome gift ideas.

Funny Forum Quotes: ezrascousin

2007-11-29T18:35:00Z

ezrascousin says:
I bit my dentist too. I was about 12. He did something and I said it hurt, he said "no it didn't" So I bit him, he said "ow that hurt" I said. "No it didn't".

To this day I'm not sure what made me do or say that.

From abitabite's blog Etsians Say the Darnest Things. abitabite had a rough Thanksgiving, so show her some love!

How Going To The Craft Store Is Like Going To The Gym

2007-11-09T13:18:00Z

Note: This article is actually written by aPassionForFashion's husband, Jason. NOTE: You can get your own Etsy "BUM-per sticker" here in the Etsy Labs shop.

Have you ever noticed how after a visit to the craft store, your muscles feel a little sore? Now that my wife Jennifer has admitted to her Etsy-addiction, our way of life has been forever altered. I’m not talking about her 3 a.m. Etsy-surfing or online craft chats with other insomniacs. I’m talking about her figure. Lately she’s been looking great! Especially in her custom Etsy sweat pants.

Now you might be thinking, how can Etsy-addiction help you lose weight, tone up and get those six pack abs? I first noticed her new figure in the craft store.

She was repeatedly squatting down to look at scrapbook paper on the bottom shelf for use in her pendants, while attempting to hold two children that begged for her attention. That’s when it hit me: going to the craft store is like going to the gym.

CRAFT STORE CARDIO

Since starting her Etsy shop aPassionForFashion just a few months ago, Jennifer has improved her muscle tone and fitness level. For those of you looking to stay in shape this winter, go ahead and cancel your gym membership, because the craft store is where the real action is.

First there’s cardio. At the craft store, waiting in the material cutting line is a lot like waiting for a treadmill. I stood there watching the look of anticipation on my wife’s face as she inched forward with her fabric bolts. Once serviced, the real work-out began.

A 20-minute high intensity session of Shopping Cart Arm Rows with two fussy, hungry kids will really make you sweat. To perform the exercise, just push two fully loaded shopping carts while holding a child. You’ll feel it working your traps and lats.

After a short break, Jennifer began to move about the store (the larger the store, the more calories you’ll burn). Walking at a brisk pace with the cart up and down the aisles will help melt those holiday pounds away (that is, until you encounter the Creepy Craft Guy. At that point, you want to pick up the pace and run).

STAYING FOCUSED

The Creepy Craft Guy is usually a lost husband. Try not to make eye contact and never share trade secrets. Another person to avoid is the Newbie Crafter Time Waster — you can spot them a mile away — soccer moms and older ladies in their stretchy elastic fancy pants who can’t wait to ask you how to make their very first beaded bracelet. The solution? Just hand them your Etsy business card and move on.

GETTING SHREDDED

Look for items on the lower shelves and simply squat down to work your legs and glutes. Add a baby in each arm for greater resistance. I call this the Paper Pendant Squat because Jennifer uses an abundance of fancy paper in her pendants. Feel the burn, ladies! Remember to breathe.

A great compliment to the Paper Pendant Squat is the Out of Stock Calf Raise. This is just the opposite, where you must stand on your tiptoes to look on the high shelves for items that are most likely…out of stock.

Can’t decide what to buy? Try the Etsy Indecisive Cardio routine where you pace back forth for 20 minutes. Better yet, if your kids are squirming all around and grabbing at the beads, it will work your core like never before.

As a last resort, you or the kids can try to pull your wife out of the store — providing great isometric resistance at the same time.

TIPS FOR GUYS

If you need to visit the restroom, chase after your kids,or walk away from your wife or girlfriend for any reason in the craft store, take a cell phone so you can find your way back. Otherwise you risk turning into the Creepy Craft Guy yourself. Even with a child in tow, know where the store exits are at all times and do not stop to ask for directions from a Newbie Crafter Time Waster.

Also, if your wife has to leave your side, don’t get left holding her bag. That means her purse, crafty items or anything fluffy.

Now, while most guys hit the weights at the gym, most ladies like to take classes where they can stretch, talk…talk…and talk some more, right? The craft store offers all this and more with classes, too. In fact, taking a craft class is a lot like taking yoga. So encourage your wife to take a class while you wait in the car or, better yet, at home.

COOLING DOWN

To wind down her workout, Jennifer made her way to the check out line (which always involves one last cardio blast) — a mad dash out to the car to grab the 40% off coupon that she left on the front seat. (Remember, guys…Don’t get left holding her bag in the check out line either. This is a cruel trick.)

As Jennifer lifted her items out of the cart, she worked her biceps and tightened her abs (the more you buy, the more reps you’ll perform). But when the cashier rang up an item at the wrong price, I noticed my wife getting stressed. Make sure to leave your ego at the door and keep your stress in check or your body will release fat-producing Cortisol which can sabotage your craft store workouts.

Finally, be very careful not to bulk up too much or you may end up with an overstock of supplies that you’ll have to destash and sell on Etsy at 3 o’clock in the morning.

Note: This article is actually written by aPassionForFashion's husband, Jason. See his other piece, Families of the Addicted, for more of his unique sense of humor.

Misaki Kawai: Punch of the Tiger, Cream of the Fight

2007-09-24T13:00:00Z

I recently (well, six months ago) checked out the work of Misaki Kawai, a Brooklyn-based artist with cheeky, off-the-wall installations and paintings. "Tiger Punch," her first solo show, was held at the Clementine Gallery in New York. It involved wall and floor installations of painted objects and works on paper.

Upon arriving at the space, I was instantly among a variety of brightly-colored kooky characters. Kawai creates a world of quirky cartoons with a child-like drawing style and whimsical approach to her subject. She constructs her works with handmade objects into an environment full of color, playfulness, humor and wit. Working from everyday materials like cardboard, paper, yarn, cottonballs, fabric, and glue, Kawai crafts what I like to call "wall-mounted, 3-D collage." Her narrative invites you into a world where spiders kiss instead of bite, birds hang out on a toilet, people burst through walls, giant waves are surfed by three people simultaneously, and farts and explosions go hand in hand. It's a cute and comical dreamscape drawn with a mastery of the skillfully unskilled aesthetic.

Misaki Kawai's work has also been featured at the Greater New York Show '05, at PS1 MOMA in NYC, and in a two-person exhibition at the Watari Museum in Tokyo, Japan. She recently had a solo exhibition at the Institute of Contemporary Art in Boston, MA.

Photos courtesy of Clementine Gallery and Misaki Kawai.

Funny Forum Quotes: loosewirestudio

2007-09-21T09:02:00Z

loosewirestudio says:

"RD is now RevolvingDorque, to me.
I'm just sayin'."

From the "Stork vs Storque" thread in the forums.

Check out abitabite's Etsians Say blog.

Funny Forum Quotes: strawberryanarchy

2007-09-19T12:12:00Z

strawberryanarchy says:

"well my promotion is this mad song i made up - chanting "strawberry anarchy" when im drunk! and people either think im a total nut job or actually might google it to see what the hell im on about! plus running on stage and shouting it at the top of your voice at any given opportunity works a wonder too :)"

From the "promoting your shop" thread in the forums.

Check out abitabite's Etsians Say blog.

Erin from Etsy: New Orleans Trip (Pt 2)

2007-09-14T06:30:00Z

Four years ago, I spent a year in New Orleans. This past February, since I had begun working at Etsy, I decided to try to meet all the Etsy sellers of New Orleans, and see how they were spending their Mardis Gras. It was great to be back there to see how the city was doing. I hadn't been back there since Katrina, and now, just after the anniversary of the storm, I've revisited some of my New Orleans video footage. I'll be sharing those here on The Storque as a series. Here is Part 1 and below you'll find Part 2.

Watch the Video

I was in touch via email with Monique Leon from gurlygirl.etsy.com before my trip, but she missed our first face-to-face meet-up at the coffee shop. Later that night, at a circus-themed party, she overheard me talking about Etsy and we found each other! Luckily I had my video camera and I interviewed her right on the spot.

The next day I went to visit her at her home studio in the Bywater neighborhood, which is adjacent to the 9th Ward. In fact, Bywater used to be called the Upper 9th Ward until residents decided it needed a more specific name. They borrowed the telephone company’s designation, Bywater (by-the-water), and it has been known that way since the 1940s. It’s a special neighborhood situated right on the curve of the river between the Marigny and the Industrial Canal. The houses are all charming and close together. Stepping out onto the porch in the Bywater guarantees conversation with neighbors. When Monique came out to say hello to me, she saw several people she knew walking by, and they stopped to talk. We all shared a laugh about the skywriting overhead that protested the fact that people were having too much fun in the French Quarter!

The first thing I noticed about Monique’s home was the color. The outside of the house is painted bright lavender. People in New Orleans love to paint their houses in bright colors (not unlike Burano, one of the islands of Venice). A hot orange house with bright blue trim won’t turn a head. It just complements the turquoise house next door, whose bushes and trees are strewn with glittering beads, built up from past years’ Mardi Gras.

Monique’s home is a shotgun and it’s set up with her studio in the front room. Her jeweler’s bench takes up the majority of the space and her polishing station is nearby. She has all of the tools a professional jeweler needs and the enviroment of her studio is cheerful and inspiring! There was a striking hot pink Georgian era wig on the wall. Her television was gilded in gold from a previous experement just to see how it might look. Pretty amazing, it turns out! Her closet was stuffed with costumes. All the boas and sequins mixed unassumingly with her everyday clothes.

You'll find that her jewelery has a similar character to her home. Superb, traditional craftsmanship meets the whimsy of a costume ball, like in these "stearling heart fluff earrings".

I bought this ring from Monique -- and would you believe it, I ran in to a guy in Williamsburg, Brooklyn last week wearing the same ring! I think gurlygirl is catching on.....

Funny Forum Quotes: ericasisland

2007-09-13T10:00:00Z

ericasisland says:

"Dear Friday,

Stop trying to overcompensate for your lack of stamina. You are the equivalent of a bald man in a corvette convertible. Let it go...you aren't enough for any of us.

I'm where it's at.
Saturday"

From the "Dear Friday." thread in the forums.

Check out abitabite's Etsians Say blog.

Erin from Etsy: New Orleans Trip (Pt 1)

2007-09-06T20:00:00Z

Four years ago I spent a year in New Orleans. I became attached to the city during my time there and I try to go back when I can. This past February, since I had begun working at Etsy, I decided to try to meet all the Etsy sellers of New Orleans, and see how they were spending their Mardis Gras. Before heading down, I put up a blog post to announce the meeting of New Orleans Etsians. Vanessa gave me a few tips about the camera and Matt loaded my suitcase with t-shirts, buttons and tote bags, and I was off. I stayed for two weeks and met a lot of lovely, creative people. First we all had coffee and got to know each other, and then I made plans to go to each of their studios and interview them about what they make and their experience with Etsy. I met with artbymags, bakingwithmedusa, greenkangaroo, dismantled, gurlygirl, bellaroo, rustchic, bayousalvage, antelucandaisy, and nolasalvage.

It was great to be back there to see how the city was doing. I hadn't been back there since Katrina, and now, just after the anniversary of the storm, I've revisited some of my New Orleans video footage. I'll be sharing those here on The Storque as a series.

Watch the Video

Before I moved to New Orleans I knew next to nothing about it. I had spent the majority of my life much further north. All I knew was that it was a place way down south and that parades there were frequent. My friend Kenny and I moved there to see another part of the country – we could have moved anywhere, but we chose New Orleans.

The very first night there, just after unloading all our mini van’s possessions into a hot pink double shotgun, we heard music down the street and sensed a buzz in the neighborhood. It was the Decadence Ball. The Ball was a spontaneous all night party on the bank of the Mississippi. There were jazz bands, of course, and everyone was dressed up in costume. It was all new and foreign to me and I was enchanted by it. The combination of the heat and the music, the friendly welcoming attitude of the people, the colors and the sparkling costumes and lights reflecting on the river —it was all very magical, like the scene of the Capulet’s Ball from Baz Luhrmann’s “Romeo and Juliet”. The rest of the year included many similar nights and days. As a painter, I was constantly inspired by people and my surroundings.

We lived right around the corner from the center of the neighborhood’s artistic activity, a place called the ARC. The ARC was a place in New Orleans much like the Etsy Labs, and was a part of the reason our community was so close knit. I took life drawing classes there every week. I had the opportunity to draw a pregnant model and then later her and her baby….that’s pretty unusual. A trapeze artist hoisted ropes to the ceiling and practiced there. Fantastic bands, both traveling and local, performed at the ARC. The communal room served as a gallery and there were always paintings on the walls. There were book clubs that met there. Plays were put on by amateur directors, actors and set designers who worked just for the love of it. There was even a circus that performed there! It was the home of the Bike Project, a bustling workshop for fixing flats, getting new parts or creating new bikes from spare parts. Children from the neighborhood could earn a bike in exchange for logging in hours working there. My friend Kenny and I spent time with two friends who ran the place, Wes and Kelly. Money was a problem and so was meeting code, but the sheer will of the neighborhood seemed to keep the place going.

Food Not Bombs met at the ARC as well. People from the neighborhood would gather and cook on hot plates, and then bring the food to Jackson Square for anyone who wanted it. A lot of transient people live in New Orleans. Some do so by choice and others because of a run of bad luck. In either case, there isn’t a stigma attached to needing a free meal like there might be in some other cities. I remember one of those nights we spent talking to a portentous character who held everyone spellbound by his stories. The man knew New Orleans intimately. He predicted, eerily, that everything would change soon and that it would affect everyone, but homeless people in particular. He thought that the city was due for a major hurricane.

Things have changed in New Orleans post-Katrina, but not quite in the way the media projects. I often meet people who say “You’re lucky you lived there, I wish I’d have made it down there.” But the city is still there. The spirit of the place hasn’t changed at all. The ARC’s building is still there. There isn’t anyone running it right now, but that could change soon. People are coming back to the city they love and some people are moving there for the first time to renovate houses. According to my impression from my friends and the Etsy members I interviewed, the overall attitude is one of regeneration and optimism. Of course, I’m not there day to day anymore… and I know it’s not easy.

Etsy Comics: I'm Just a Caveman Crafter

2007-09-03T20:00:00Z

I grew up in and around Providence, RI. Father. Cartoonist. Tall person. Very proud brother of Etsy Person Vanessa Bertozzi! I do a regular series for Nickelodeon Magazine and just had my first graphic novel "The Salon" published. Please visit my website: NickBertozzi.com