You've seen those network TV specials documenting every wedding disaster in the book—you know, the naughty ring bearer gets into the $1200 cake before you’ve had a chance to cut it.  Or the mother-in-law forgets to pick up the bridesmaid bouquets and the girls have to walk down the aisle empty handed.  

Prepare yourselves, brides and grooms to be—it’s practically a guarantee that something will go wrong along the way.  
It happened to me.  I got a phone call 13 days before my April wedding from my catering director informing me of their need to change my venue.  I won’t bore you with the details and the reasons why, but this meant that the cozy, intimate, candlelit dinner party for 40 guests that I had planned for the past four months was about go the way of the dodo.  I would have to redirect my guests after I had spent hours hand-making my one-of-a-kind invitations.  I’d have to start from scratch with décor—I’d planned on only candelabras to light the small and rustic room with stone floors and a wall of mullioned windows.  The new space I’d been offered was the antithesis of my vision…a gaping, sprawling white box serving at the moment as the gallery for a local high school’s art show.

I could have panicked.  I could have gotten my wedding-night knickers all in a twist.  I could have gone all Bridezilla on everyone leaving nothing but a trail of torn tulle and lace in my wake.  But instead, I channeled all of that negative energy into an opportunity to negotiate the wedding of my dreams on the vendor’s dime.  After all, they were breaching their own contract so they’d have to be willing to accommodate me.

Now, my story ends happily, albeit with some anxiety-ridden twists.  In the end, I was able to have my wedding in the original location, with the original décor, as originally planned.  But the reality is, these things happen—even with months of careful planning (and for some couples, years!), unforeseen circumstances arise.  The minister might mispronounce your name.  Your cousin Tammy might have an allergic reaction to the raw bar.  And my bets are on the best man's speech being far less than you had hoped for.  In the event that one of your vendors springs a last-minute change on you, keep your cool and bargain with them for an alternative to make up for it.  You may end up making out better than you had anticipated!

As an invitation designer, and recent bride, I see first-hand how the universe tends to shrink, allowing you to think only in terms of linen colors and barrel curls and escort cards.  Remember to be flexible and stay focused on the task at hand—you know, the ‘til death do us part’ bit, the ‘have and to hold’ part.  Your wedding should be memorable, not because of a minor hiccup along the way, but because you let it ride and enjoyed your time with your guests and your new spouse.  Chances are no one will even have noticed that your gown was tucked into your stockings that time anyway…

See more posts in the Handmade Wedding Series.