dammit

Description

when i was eight years old, my aunt – who i swear could weave lead into robes of gold – painstakingly baked and constructed a train made of gingerbread. it had an engine, a boxcar full of candy, and a caboose. it was the raddest gingerbread train ever, and it was even featured in one of those women’s magazines that show you in full high-gloss color what you COULD do with your home, if you weren’t a no-talent wretch with seven hundred dustbunnies breeding under your sofa. and do you know what she did with it? she sent it to us.

and you need to picture this: my brother and me, aged five and eight, drooling over this GIANT FRIGGIN COOKIE, covered in icing and candy and sprinkles and probably magic and crack... and our mother, telling us “no you can’t eat it, you’ll ruin it! it’s only for looking!”

do you know what that kind of torture does to a kid?
it makes her woo-woo-nutbag-bonkers, that’s what. it turns her permanently goofball batshit, screwed up so bad that, decades later, she decides to make a totally awesome gingerbread-smellin’ soap... that you also can’t eat.*

you can totally wash with it, though – and you won’t be sorry you did. this one is packed with rich cocoa butter, and scented with a winter-warm spicy gingerbread and brown sugar fragrance that’s sure to conjure up fond memories of your own crazy family.

*well, i mean, you could, i guess, but i don’t recommend it, and i won’t be held responsible for whatever happens to you if you do - like, for example, my mother walloping you upside the head for ruining the pretty soap that’s only meant for looking.

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each bar is hand-cut using my cheap yet bodaciously, painfully sharp dollar store butcher knife. bars are all approximately 5 ounces, but please allow for slight variations.

PLEASE NOTE: dammit is now the same size and shape as all the other soaps i have listed - i was just too dumb to take a photo before i wrapped them all...

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ingredients: distilled water, coconut oil, apricot kernel oil, canola oil, palm oil, cocoa butter, sodium hydroxide, castor oil, fragrance, white clay, beeswax, mica.

Added on Oct 26, 2008

Shipping

ship to:	cost:	with another item:
United States	$3.50 USD	$1.50 USD
Canada	$6.50 USD	$1.50 USD
Everywhere Else	$10.50 USD	$1.50 USD

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