Fat Santa Cookies Holiday Soap

Description

One Christmas Eve in NYC, a very thin, starving, beautiful and aspiring model lay in bed tossing and turning unable to sleep. All she could think about were the warm, gooey, cinnamon butter sugar cookies and ice cold glass of milk that her current boyfriend of the hour had left by the fireplace for "Santa." They called to her at 2am in the middle of a troubled sleep. She put the pillow over her head to drown out the sounds hoping to fall back to sleep.

Now you see, this starving model, all she ever wanted was a matching set of silicone fun bags in size triple D and she'd spent that very morning waiting in line at Macy's Department Store just to sit on Santa's lap to ask for the big silicone bags of joy. (Of course Santa made her bounce up and down on his lap while she asked for them, but that's another story entirely and probably best saved for a jury after the harassment suit is filed.)

Finally unable to stand the thought of the cookies any longer, she got up, put on her robe and tippy toed silently down the long hallway to the living room where the cookies where. She sat in front of the Christmas tree and ate every last one of Fat Santa's Cookies and tippy toed back silently back down the hallway to bed careful not to wake Chester, Ched, Charlie... whatever his name was.

In the morning, she woke excited because she knew that today was the day she'd find her Triple D Silicone Fun Bags under the tree! She ran excitedly from the bedroom like... well.... like a kid at Christmas silly. When she reached the living room she saw a huge silver box with red bow waiting for her. Unable to contain her excitement any longer she ripped off the lid. Inside was a note from Santa and a single box of saltine crackers.

Dear Super Thin Aspiring Model, it read.
Since you ate all my damn cookies, I only thought it was fair to ration out to you your dinner for the next 364 days. Enjoy.
Love,
Santa.

Needless to say, the boyfriend of the hour left her because she didn't get any fun bags, and all she got was a years supply of saltine crackers.

Moral of the story... He's fat. He's Santa. And you better leave his damn cookies alone.

Warm Cinnamon sugar cookies, with a hint of butter. Yum.

Net Weight 4.25oz

(This soap comes with the "description/story" on a little enclosed card, perfect for gift giving.)

Added on Oct 25, 2009

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United States	$3.39 USD	$1.75 USD

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