feltmelons

The one and only Vaginament® vagina ornament :)

Burlington, Ontario · 2138 Sales

feltmelons

The one and only Vaginament® vagina ornament :)

Burlington, Ontario 2138 Sales On Etsy since 2013

5 out of 5 stars
(384)

Announcement   SUPER IMPORTANT: I'll be walking the West Highland Way (www.suzymca.com) until May 5, so orders WILL NOT SHIP until shortly thereafter xo
As a thanks for your understanding, use SUZISAWAY to save 10%, no minimums <3

Current codes:
Save 10% when your order is $50USD or above (code 10OFF50USD)
Save 15% when your order is $100USD or above (code 15OFF100USD)

✈︎ USA-bound orders take 3-5 business (working) days *once shipped*, using USPS. Tracking is included, hooray! US orders ship 2x week.
✈︎ Canadian orders take 4-7 business days *once shipped*. Canada Post fees are killer, I'm sorry :/ I'll refund overages of more than $1 when I've taken your order to the post office :)
✈︎ International orders take 4-15 working days *once shipped*, DO NOT include tracking, and are not guaranteed. Any customs fees are the purchaser's responsibility.

Thoroughly unfinished media page: www.feltmelons.com/media

Cosmo, 3 times! Here's one: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8255422/vagina-christmas-tree-decoration/

George Takei's facebook post: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1743502495679196&id=205344452828349

Original Metro.co.uk article that kicked this all off: http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/21/you-can-now-decorate-your-christmas-tree-with-felt-vagina-baubles-6206855/ ----thank you, Ellen Scott xo

Scary Mommy (go for the comments alone!): www.facebook.com/thescarymommy/posts/10154424363613301

All Vaginament® ornaments are cut and sewn by hand, by me <3

I'm on ig at instagram.com/feltmelons, or instagram.com/suzymca, and of course Facebook.com/feltmelons or Facebook.com/suzymca

"Girl, you need to outsource!" Nope :) It's just me, sewing by hand in my dining room, cutting labels, packaging, keeping the Band-Aids stocked, breaking needles, errything. No machines were (or ever will be!) harmed in the making of these wee oddballeries. Bear with me while I endearingly sew each Vaginament by hand. After all, good vagina is worth the wait <3 This has been such a once in a lifetime whirlwind of viral vaginii and media excitement, thank you for understanding <3

Regarding intellectual property: Vaginament® is now a registered trademark, and the distinct design is protected by copyright laws. I am vehemently protective of my Vaginament*, with its distinct design marks ('distinguishing guise' up here in Canada) : folded inner and/or outer labia in an oval shape, bell or bead clitoris, often on a round embroidery hoop or appliqued to a teardrop-shaped mons ornament. Please do not take my vagina design without consent. If you come across copycat versions out there for sale, please send me a link so I can protect my intellectual property. I don’t profess to have invented the felt vagina ornament, just my design :)

* Dude. It's my vagina design. Of course I'm protective. In rare cases, I have to pay for a cease and desist letter. And as much as I hate a public call-out, sometimes this happens: www.notyourvagina.com, because it's often more effective (and cheaper!) than involving legal. If you don't want to be called out on social media, don't try and pass off my design as your own.

Announcement

Last updated on 19 Apr, 2018

SUPER IMPORTANT: I'll be walking the West Highland Way (www.suzymca.com) until May 5, so orders WILL NOT SHIP until shortly thereafter xo
As a thanks for your understanding, use SUZISAWAY to save 10%, no minimums <3

Current codes:
Save 10% when your order is $50USD or above (code 10OFF50USD)
Save 15% when your order is $100USD or above (code 15OFF100USD)

✈︎ USA-bound orders take 3-5 business (working) days *once shipped*, using USPS. Tracking is included, hooray! US orders ship 2x week.
✈︎ Canadian orders take 4-7 business days *once shipped*. Canada Post fees are killer, I'm sorry :/ I'll refund overages of more than $1 when I've taken your order to the post office :)
✈︎ International orders take 4-15 working days *once shipped*, DO NOT include tracking, and are not guaranteed. Any customs fees are the purchaser's responsibility.

Thoroughly unfinished media page: www.feltmelons.com/media

Cosmo, 3 times! Here's one: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8255422/vagina-christmas-tree-decoration/

George Takei's facebook post: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1743502495679196&id=205344452828349

Original Metro.co.uk article that kicked this all off: http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/21/you-can-now-decorate-your-christmas-tree-with-felt-vagina-baubles-6206855/ ----thank you, Ellen Scott xo

Scary Mommy (go for the comments alone!): www.facebook.com/thescarymommy/posts/10154424363613301

All Vaginament® ornaments are cut and sewn by hand, by me <3

I'm on ig at instagram.com/feltmelons, or instagram.com/suzymca, and of course Facebook.com/feltmelons or Facebook.com/suzymca

"Girl, you need to outsource!" Nope :) It's just me, sewing by hand in my dining room, cutting labels, packaging, keeping the Band-Aids stocked, breaking needles, errything. No machines were (or ever will be!) harmed in the making of these wee oddballeries. Bear with me while I endearingly sew each Vaginament by hand. After all, good vagina is worth the wait <3 This has been such a once in a lifetime whirlwind of viral vaginii and media excitement, thank you for understanding <3

Regarding intellectual property: Vaginament® is now a registered trademark, and the distinct design is protected by copyright laws. I am vehemently protective of my Vaginament*, with its distinct design marks ('distinguishing guise' up here in Canada) : folded inner and/or outer labia in an oval shape, bell or bead clitoris, often on a round embroidery hoop or appliqued to a teardrop-shaped mons ornament. Please do not take my vagina design without consent. If you come across copycat versions out there for sale, please send me a link so I can protect my intellectual property. I don’t profess to have invented the felt vagina ornament, just my design :)

* Dude. It's my vagina design. Of course I'm protective. In rare cases, I have to pay for a cease and desist letter. And as much as I hate a public call-out, sometimes this happens: www.notyourvagina.com, because it's often more effective (and cheaper!) than involving legal. If you don't want to be called out on social media, don't try and pass off my design as your own.

Suzanne McAleenan

Contact shop owner

Suzanne McAleenan

View all 80 items

Reviews

Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
(384)
View all 384 reviews

About

Eeep! These are always the hardest pages :O

Let's see: I'm a mother to two tow-headed wee girls, and a dog named Haggis.
I'm married to a Scottish fellow: he's very calm, I'm very excitable, there's a good balance going on. We met at the local pub, but soberly :)
We live downtown Burlington, Ontario, Canada, where we can walk to the lake, shops, pub, the kids' school, cafes...it's idyllic. I was born and raised here, and hope never to leave.
My main shop on etsy is vaginament.etsy.com, and I actively opened feltmelons in January of 2015 as a place to sell other handmade goods 😂
I also bake gluten-free vegan treats for the locals at www.sweetsillyyak.com.
These hands of mine are best kept busy :)

Cheers, Suzanne.
www.suzymca.com

(My primary and original Etsy profile can be found here: https://www.etsy.com/ca/people/SuzyMcA)

Around the web

Shop members

  • Suzanne McAleenan

    Owner

Shop policies

Last updated on 21 January, 2018
☆ Production time ☆
Orders will ship within 2-4 business (working) days, Monday-Friday

☆ ESTIMATED TRANSIT TIMES ☆
★Canada, via Canada Post with tracking, 3-7 business days *once shipped*
★USA, via USPS with tracking, 3-7 business days *once shipped*
★UK, via Canada Post, 4-7 business days *once shipped*
★International, via Canada Post, 6-20 business days *once shipped*, not guaranteed or tracked. Please contact me if your order hasn't arrived after 20 business (working) days :( I'll send you a PDF affidavit to 'e-sign' and return to me, this will be your declaration that your order hasn't arrived. I can then file a claim with Canada Post and refund in full :)

☆ LOCAL PICK-UP ☆
This can be arranged, please message me prior to placing your order :)

★ Questions? Message me through Etsy if you're a member, or feel free to email me at suzymca at gmail.com. Messages are replied to Monday-Friday.

☆ Gifts are awesome! ☆
If you mark the item as a gift, and do not include a note, the order will be shipped with a simple note that says "Suprise! xoxo"
If you include a note, I'll write exactly what is included. If you don't leave a name or a salutation, I won't either :)

☆ "This item is a gift" ☆
Marking the item as a 'gift' at checkout doesn't mean the $ value won't be put on the customs form, if the order is leaving North America.

♛ My home is smoke-free, but there is a non-shedding Silky Terrier named Haggis constantly at my feet. I’m chronically allergic to dogs and cats, but not Haggis :)

Accepted payment methods

  • Accepts Etsy Gift Cards and Etsy Credits
  • Other Method
Returns and exchanges
I gladly accept returns and exchanges
Contact me within: 14 days of delivery
Ship items back within: 30 days of delivery
I don't accept cancellations
But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
The following items can't be returned or exchanged
Because of the nature of these items, unless they arrive damaged or defective, I can't accept returns for:
  • Custom or personalised orders
  • Perishable products (like food or flowers)
  • Digital downloads
  • Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)
☆ RETURNS ☆ NO PROBLEM! I'd be mortified to hear you're not happy with your order, but I know sometimes these things happen. Please contact me within 7 business days of receiving your order so we can arrange for you to send the item back in it's original condition, before a refund is issued. You will be refunded the full original purchase price, less the cost of the original shipping, and will be responsible for the cost of return shipping.

☆ EXCHANGES ☆ Let me know within 7 business days of receiving your order if you'd like to exchange an item. Please ensure that the item is returned in the same condition in which it was sent. You will be responsible for the shipping fees to return the item, and the shipping fees for me to send you a new one in exchange. I don't want you to be unhappy with your order: please ask any questions, no matter how menial you think they might be, in order to make an informed purchase prior to payment :)

All sales will be considered final after 21 days of you having received your order.
Shipping
☆ PACKAGING ☆ My ornaments are pretty much impossible to damage under normal shipping circumstances, but if the ornament itself has undergone trauma in shipping, please contact me immediately with photos of the damage to the packaging and/or ornament, so I can make things right!

☆ SHIPPING ADDRESSES ☆ I will ship to the shipping address associated with your ETSY account, or another address that you request in the Note to Felt Melons message box in the cart.

☆ CUSTOMS ☆ All orders *outside of North America* will have the value declared on customs forms. The customer is responsible for all duties and/or import fees associated with the destination country.
Additional policies and FAQs
© Vaginament is a registered trademark with the USPTO (2016) and the design and derivations are registered with the US Copyright Office (2017). Vaginament ornaments and decor are sold only at feltmelons.etsy.com, feltmelons.com, and instagram.com/feltmelons. If you see them listed for sale elsewhere, they are unlicensed and being sold without permission.

More information

Last updated on 21 Jan, 2018
Frequently asked questions

Wholesale availability

I currently do not offer wholesale. If you're looking to place a bulk order on behalf of a group, shipping to one address, please message me prior with approximate quantities and a location, and I can give you a bulk order quote including shipping :)