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If you're anything like me, then you enjoy guitar, falafel, and phat-bottomed redheads, which means your perfect date involves sneaking a paper bagful of fried balls of mashed chickpeas into a late-night showing of the documentary "It Might Get Loud." With an ample-bottomed redhead. The redhead and falafel were forgettable, but the movie... Yowza! Mind-blowing guitarists. And The Edge. Zing!

One of the highlights of the film took place after its director, Davis Guggenheim, and axeman Jack White had a disagreement concerning whether songs these days are over-prepared and -produced. To illustrate how unnecessary this level of production and preparation are, Mr. White proceeded to write AND record "Fly Farm Blues" in ten minutes. What the what?! TEN minutes! Even more astonishing is that the song totally owns your face.

I could not sit idly by. Inspiration had reached its hands into my brain and started giving me a deep-tissue massage. In tribute to Jack White and his "Fly Farm Blues," I would assemble and sell a record clock in ten minutes!

I immediately ran into a roadblock, a huge one. In order to track the time, I would need a clock, but I could not build the clock until I was able to track the time. No matter how I tried to wrap my head around it, I could not think of a way around the quandary. Now weary and fatigued, I collapsed into a head so that I could nap. When I awoke, I still had no solution. I had been defeated. Time is, indeed, a cruel mistress. With tears in my eyes, I began building my clock, completely unaware of how much time was passing by. Was it only three minutes, or had I been standing there for three days? I could not say. I'm sorry, Jack White, but I failed you. I'm just a loser.

But you know who isn't a loser? The lucky buyer of this clock! Seriously, look at it! It's made from a copy of Jack White's aforementioned single, "Fly Farm Blues."

"But Catfish," you might be saying, "this doesn't look like an ordinary 7 inch single." That's because it's not. What's you're seeing is the b-side. There is no song on the b-side, it's an etching of the logo of Third Man Records, the label Jack founded. Sweet. With this much awesome, the yellow record adapter and white hands aren't even necessary, but I know you'll appreciate them anyhow.

Each clock comes complete with just one (1) hour and one (1) minute hand, because, unfortunately, every second does not count. Clock hands are manually painted by hand (my hand-s), and may include slight blemishes (proof they were crafted by the honest, simple, hard-working indigenous peoples of... wherever [Tucson]). Each paint job is unique and may not be accurately depicted in the photograph (which means, sometimes I reuse the same picture for the same album). One AA battery is required, but not provided.

These quality, hand-crafted clocks are made right in the heart of the U.S. of A, sans the use of sweatshops, outsourced customer support, or Wal-Mart.

*SHIPPING*
Single clocks are shipped via USPS Priority Mail. Clocks are carefully packed for transit, but these things can be somewhat fragile, so, while I’ve never received a complaint of a damaged piece, might I suggest you add the $1.80 for insurance purposes. Worst-case scenario, it can be charity for our floundering postal service.

International shipping is available, but every country is a different price, or so says the man with the mustache at the counter.

**Clocks are fashioned from used vinyl records, and while I aim to be scrutinous in my selection of vinyl, there is no guarantee that clocks will be 100% free of minor imperfections. It's called character, people. Like that scar on your mom’s face! Burn!**

Jack White - "Fly Farm Blues" 7 inch Vinyl Record Clock Third Man Records

Overview

  • Handmade item
  • Materials: vinyl, synergy, records, technology, love, hands, clocks, paint
  • Feedback: 46 reviews
  • Only ships within United States.
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