This zine is B&W, 1/2 size, 86 pages, & text heavy.

In its purest form, this zine is about my recollections on grappling with concepts of guilt and innocence, good and bad, right and wrong, and the separation between the essential parts of a human being and the actions that they take. I have traveled a path from being indoctrinated to have faith in the US legal system to moving toward believing in the speculative future of prison abolition; this zine is my attempt at showcasing the resources, ideas, workshops, individuals, and conversations that helped me along during that journey. While taking a retrospective look at these influences that helped to change my perspective, I realized that my experiences as a survivor of childhood abuse, domestic violence, and sexual assault, along with intergenerational trauma and my sobriety from alcohol have all had deep effects on this process. My interest in political issues, interpersonal relationships, and questioning dominant narratives all helped me to evolve from a person raised to believe wholeheartedly in punishment into a person who believes in centering personhood, empathy, and the right to be able to make up for one’s mistakes.

Table of Contents:
+ SECTION I: Subconscious Messaging
- Growing up in a conservative, majority-white area of rural Pennsylvania; Facing DV at home; Getting interested in punk music as a means of political information; Counter-military recruitment activism as a teenager
+ SECTION II: Punishment and Justice
- Taking an oversimplified and hard binary stance about “good” and “bad”; Feelings of being a “bad survivor” for not fitting into a feminist-approved version of what that looks like; Reflections on how my perception of forgiveness has changed in the last decade; Exploring the concept of sociopathy and whether it has affected my family; Popular media interest in true crime
+ SECTION III: Workshops and “Safe Spaces”
- Cultural / social capital linked to paid work and showcasing the positive feedback I received from working at a DV shelter; Experiencing social services burnout and feeling too “maxed out” on empathy to get involved in more activist efforts; Tumblr as a thinktank for specific liberal concepts relating to harm; Creating and leading a learning group in Baltimore about white privilege; Witnessing different interpretations of “safety” and “empathy” in various community trainings and backlash in leftist circles when attempting to address harm or alternatives to policing
+ SECTION IV: The Parole Preparation Project
- Volunteering with a NYC-based project that aids people incarcerated in NY state prisons for 25 to life with putting together their parole packet material; The moving and vital conversations, experiences, and perspectives I gained from working with an applicant; How social visits and legal visits can differ when going to a state prison; How “big data” and standardized assessment tools often exacerbate racist policing tactics and deepen inequality; Discussing remorse and what life can look like post-prison
+ SECTION V: Forgiveness, Empathy, and Innocence
- Addressing the false notion that recognizing someone’s humanity means validating every action they take; Discussing harm as a lived reality for all of us and contextualizing harm reduction efforts; Synthesizing intergenterational trauma and reactions of anger; Comparing and contrasting work in a domestic violence shelter and a street homeless services nonprofit to volunteering with people incarcerated in state prison; Reformist efforts, wrongful incarceration, and scapegoating tactics which firmly draw the line between “innocent” and “guilty”; Giving up drinking and how sobriety has impacted my sense of safety and bodily integrity
+ SECTION VI: Feminist Responses and Talking About It
- Uncomfortable truths concerning harm and its presence in our lives; How feminist efforts have been co-opted by the state and end up further punishing victims of violence; The difference between consequences and punishments; Sharing central themes from conversations about policing and incarceration and showcasing tactics for readers to use when discussing the topics with others; The outcome of my volunteer efforts
+ Outro, Special Thanks, and Recommended Reading

*Proceeds from this zine will be donated to abolitionist efforts in NYC!*

**Shipping prices are based on how much it costs to mail through the US Postal Service. We have no control over them, and apologize for how costly they are.**