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CRABBYPANTS cotton boxers

CRABBYPANTS cotton boxers

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$27.00

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Overview

  • Handmade item
  • Materials: sport elastic, 100 percent woven cotton
  • Favorited by: 66 people
  • Gift message available
This shop accepts Etsy gift cards

Shipping & returns

Get it fast! Ready to ship in 1–3 business days.
From United States
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Description

I know you know someone who's a crabbypants. Heck, everyone can be a crabbypants at one time or another... but there are people who have embraced their crabbiness to such a degree that they deserve underwear to drive the point home. And if you're married to one of those people, you have my empathy... these were inspired by my own husband...

On the front of the wrapper you'll see the title - "CRABBYPANTS"

On the back of the wrapper, you'll find a list telling you what type of guy they're suitable for:

¨ Crabapples
¨ Cantankerous crustaceans
¨ Oscar the Grouch
¨ Grumpy Old Men
¨ Fiddlers
¨ Hermits
¨ Sideways walkers
¨ Maryland natives
¨ Anyone who enjoys potboilers
¨ Anyone who plays horseshoes
¨ Anyone born under the zodiac sign of Cancer
¨ Friends of Ariel & Nemo
¨ Anyone who’s got crabs


When ordering, please specify size (corresponding to waist size for pants):
S = 26-28
M = 30-32
L = 34-36
XL = 38-40
XXL = 42-44

All of my boxers are full-cut with a three-panel design (no center back seam) and a functional fly. I make all of my products in a smoke-free home, I only use woven 100% quilter's quality cottons, I prewash all fabrics before I cut so the finished garment stays true-to-size, and all interior seams are finished by flat-felling. These are some quality underpants... please forgive the insinuation of a venereal situation, but if I'm making UNDERPANTS with CRABS on them, you can hardly blame me for going there...
I know you know someone who's a crabbypants. Heck, everyone can be a crabbypants at one time or another... but there are people who have embraced their crabbiness to such a degree that they deserve underwear to drive the point home. And if you're married to one of those people, you have my empathy... these were inspired by my own husband...

On the front of the wrapper you'll see the title - "CRABBYPANTS"

On the back of the wrapper, you'll find a list telling you what type of guy they're suitable for:

¨ Crabapples
¨ Cantankerous crustaceans
¨ Oscar the Grouch
¨ Grumpy Old Men
¨ Fiddlers
¨ Hermits
¨ Sideways walkers
¨ Maryland natives
¨ Anyone who enjoys potboilers
¨ Anyone who plays horseshoes
¨ Anyone born under the zodiac sign of Cancer
¨ Friends of Ariel & Nemo
¨ Anyone who’s got crabs


When ordering, please specify size (corresponding to waist size for pants):
S = 26-28
M = 30-32
L = 34-36
XL = 38-40
XXL = 42-44

All of my boxers are full-cut with a three-panel design (no center back seam) and a functional fly. I make all of my products in a smoke-free home, I only use woven 100% quilter's quality cottons, I prewash all fabrics before I cut so the finished garment stays true-to-size, and all interior seams are finished by flat-felling. These are some quality underpants... please forgive the insinuation of a venereal situation, but if I'm making UNDERPANTS with CRABS on them, you can hardly blame me for going there...

Reviews

5 out of 5 stars
(591)

Payments

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We can do this however you'd like it - PayPal or direct checkout are easiest, but if you prefer to send a check or money order, convo me and we'll work it out. Offers of barter will always be seriously considered.

Returns & exchanges

Due to the cootie factor, I can't in good conscience accept returns on underwear. That said - if you give them as a gift and discover that you've sorely misestimated the size of the recipient, I'll happily exchange them for the proper size, you just cover the shipping charges.

You know there's a story behind this policy: if I ship an order and the package is refused and returned to me unopened, you'll get a refund for the items, minus my listing fees, minus a 25% restocking fee, with no refund on the shipping.

Shipping policies

I endeavor to turn orders around pretty quickly - in most cases I ship by USPS First Class (and First Class International), getting them out the door within two business days. You'll get a tracking number upon shipment, so you can watch online as your order gets closer & closer, then all of a sudden you'll find it's in your hands!

If it absolutely positively has to be there overnight, I'm happy to upgrade shipping in a private listing. Convo me and we'll figure out what works best in your situation.

International customers, please be aware that customs/duty/VAT fees may be assessed by your home country upon receipt of the shipment, and those costs are the sole responsibility of the buyer as I have no way of knowing what might be assessed.

Additional policies

If you've got something specific in mind, I love doing custom orders! Convo me with your request, I'll hunt for some appropriate fabric, and we'll find something that speaks to your need. Custom orders typically cost a bit more, but you'll have input throughout the process.

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