No Teen Pregnancy No Jail Time No Drugs You're Welcome, Funny Father's Day Card, Rude Mother's Day Greeting Card, Sassy Birthday Card

Make him laugh with this funny card perfect as a gift from the son, or daughter. This card folds to 5-inches by 7-inches and comes with a matching kraft envelope that perfectly compliments the color and texture of the card. Sleazy Greeting cards are designed and illustrated in the USA on thick, durable cardstock for a high-quality finish.
- The inside is left blank for your own handwritten message 
- A7 size (5" x 7")
- Printed in the USA onto paper matte stock.
- Comes with a matching kraft envelope made from 30% Post-Consumer Waste recycled paper

SHIPPING
✔ U.S. Orders: Economy shipping is $1.95, but this shipping options does not include a USPS tracking number. Want to track your order? Choose upgraded shipping at checkout - $4.95 for first class or $7.95 for priority. Note: Etsy's tracking for standard shipping isn't always reliable. It might show 'delivered' or 'pre-transit' inaccurately.

✔ Delivery Times: Our cards usually arrive in 2-5 days in the U.S., but sometimes it can take up to 14 days or more. Haven't received your order after 14 business days? Please reach out to me.

Thanks for understanding and choosing Sleazy Greetings for your funny card needs!

◆◆◆◆◆◆◆

Hey everyone, let's talk about mail mishaps (because, let's face it, they happen):

✔ Lost Cards: If your card is MIA for over 14 business days (give it a bit longer during holiday season snail-mail traffic), don't sweat it. Shoot me a message. I’ll step in and sort it out – because I believe in happy endings, even if the USPS occasionally doesn't.

✔ Wrong Address/Returned Cards: Accidents happen, like entering the wrong address or moving house. If a card boomerangs back to me, I’ll need you to cover the postage and a new envelope cost for a resend. I wish I could do it for free, but hey, even card magicians have to keep the lights on!

✔ Damaged Goods: In the rare event your card gets a rough ride with USPS and arrives looking less than perfect, that's a bummer for both of us. I can’t fight the USPS dragons on this since they don’t insure our funnies, but I’ll meet you halfway – you’ll get a 50% refund.

Remember, I’m here to make your card experience awesome, despite the occasional postal plot twist!