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Satanic Advice

Satanic Advice

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$666.00

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Overview

  • Handmade item
  • Made to order
  • Favorited by: 9 people
  • Gift message available
This shop accepts Etsy gift cards

Shipping

Ready to ship in 3–5 business days
From United States

Description

Due to the large number of messages we receive on the Satanic Prayer Line, we are not able to respond to every call we receive, (though we do pray to Satan for every prayer request).

If you absolutely must have your questions answered, we are pleased to offer Satanic advice to any question or concern you may have. Order this item, and describe in as much detail as you can what topic you would like Satanic advice on, and we will send you at least ONE PARAGRAPH of Satanic advice from a genuine SATANIC PRIEST!

This is a physical item, you will receive it on parchment cardstock, bordered in Satanic red so you can carry it around with you and reflect on it wherever you go.

So go ahead, what's the worst that could happen?

Reviews

5 out of 5 stars (25)
  • mikeski1270 May 14, 2018
    5 out of 5 stars
    Fast shipping excellent candles look forward to buying more
    Satanic Candles: One Pair
  • Crunchovskl Apr 4, 2017
    5 out of 5 stars
    I bought these 72 downloadable Demons I was not disappointed, and have had much pleasure playing their sounds, while looking at their pictures that came with them and the registration number of each demon. I love how they are trapped in .mp3 format! Thanks!
    72 Downloadable Demons (Set #B0DBEDF0-DCDF-402E-BDC6-68B91D0E0A80)
  • Crunchovskl Apr 4, 2017
    5 out of 5 stars
    I received the pocket demons, I chose the more expensive ones instead of the value one's because I wanted the charcoal powder in the bottles but was disappointed to find them without the charcoal! But I did get the paper registration number and picture in the bottles instead of the cheaper plastic tag without a registration number but with picture. So I am kind of happy with what I got, but I didn't think it was worth it to send them back because they didn't have the charcoal powder inside them, they still have the paper and the demon within. So I can live with that. I would like to say that it was probably an oversight on their part and not intentional to leave the charcoal out? I would definitely buy from them again! it's still a great idea. I also purchased the demons trapped in .mp3 format, and bought the CD package.
    I received the pocket demons, I chose the more expensive ones instead of the value one's because I wanted the charcoal powder in the bottles but was disappointed to find them without the charcoal! But I did get the paper registration number and picture in the bottles instead of the cheaper plastic tag without a registration number but with picture. So I am kind of happy with what I got, but I didn't think it was worth it to send them back because they didn't have the charcoal powder inside them, they still have the paper and the demon within. So I can live with that. I...
    Pocket Demons: One Pair
  • jimcopple01 Dec 28, 2016
    5 out of 5 stars
    Handcrafted slow burning, high quality
    Satanic Candles: One Pair

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Shipping policies

All items except large art pieces ship in USPS priority mail flat rate boxes. Please contact us if you would like to ship via another method.

Additional policies

Only this shop offers the NINEFOLD SATANIC REWARDS guarantee! Any money you spend here will come back to you NINEFOLD in Satanic ill-gotten personal gains! That's fully TWOFOLD better than what other deities offer! So the more you spend here THE MORE SATAN WILL DO FOR YOU! Go ahead! Try it!

(Fine print: Ninefold Satanic Returns are calculated by Infernal Demonic Minions based on product list prices, exclusive of sales tax and shipping. While Ninefold Saanic Returns are absolutely guaranteed, we can make no predictions on the form they will take or whether the purchaser will perceive them as such)

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