How To Kill Vampires because they are Unnatural Jerks, book signed Christopher Pinto & Crystobal, Occult Vampirism Humor Vampire Killing Kit

How To Kill Vampires because they are Unnatural Jerks, book signed Christopher Pinto & Crystobal, Occult Vampirism Humor Vampire Killing Kit



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paper, brains, nerves, intelligence, creativity, booze, photos, vampire blood


Signed by the authors, Amazon Best Selling Author Christopher Pinto (me) and CRYSTOBAL, the Gothic Artist (and self-proclaimed vampire hunter) who creates all those cool Vampire Killing Kits that I sell!

Yes ladies and gents, I wrote, did the very artful layout, and designed the cover for this FULL COLOR photo/art book on how to kill those pesky vampires.

What it is:
Over 100 FULL COLOR pages of original photos, informative graphics, and handy information all about how to hunt, find, and destroy those smelly, dirty vampires.

What you get:
A brand new softcover edition, signed by the author. Full color cover, FULL COLOR interior on parchment-like pages, trade paperback 5.5"x8.5" high quality, professionally printed book. This is no cheapo job. The colors are vibrant and the book is truly a work of art.

"How To Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks" is a tongue-in-cheek, humorous "how to" book for the aspiring vampire hunter. CRYSTOBAL, Gothic Artist and Vampire Hunter, has decided to share his decades of wisdom and experience in locating and dusting those annoying blood suckers.

Smarmy, sarcastic, and of course a little cheesy, this book actually lays out plans for finding and staking real vampires. CRYSTOBAL gives tips on where to find vamps, the differences that vampires of different regions in the US possess, and weaponry: Including a complete section on his Vampire Killing Kits, and their use. There's even a history of vampires in America (dating back to colonial times) and his opinions on Vampires in the movies.

As an added treat, CRYSTOBAL tells a few stories about his vampire hunting adventures (with extremely rare actual photos of vampiresses). It ends with his story of "the one that got away".

This is a must-have for anyone who likes vampires, the occult, anything paranormal or even if you're just a weirdo. Great conversation piece!

For more information on the book, visit the official site of CRYSTOBAL's work at Also available for Kindle, see site for details.

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Aug 18

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Fort Lauderdale, FL

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Christopher Pinto

Christopher Pinto

Owner of VampireOddities

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39 shop reviews 4.5 out of 5 stars


Ronnie Smith Jun 26, 2020

5 out of 5 stars
Everything was great! Ship fast & was exactly what I expected. Communication was excellent!

Purchased item:

clay Mar 2, 2020

bikini and diamond Aug 17, 2018

5 out of 5 stars
Cards are as described and in excellent condition. Thank you for offering these and for great service as well!

Purchased item:

marilyn hughes Feb 13, 2018

5 out of 5 stars
excellent transaction - shipped on time- excellent packaging

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