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How To Kill Vampires because they are Unnatural Jerks, book signed Christopher Pinto & Crystobal, Occult Vampirism Humor Vampire Killing Kit

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How To Kill Vampires because they are Unnatural Jerks, book signed Christopher Pinto & Crystobal, Occult Vampirism Humor Vampire Killing Kit

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$24.99

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Overview

  • Handmade item
  • Materials: paper, brains, nerves, intelligence, creativity, booze, photos, vampire blood
  • Favorited by: 32 people
  • Gift message available
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From Fort Lauderdale, FL

Description

Signed by the authors, Amazon Best Selling Author Christopher Pinto (me) and CRYSTOBAL, the Gothic Artist (and self-proclaimed vampire hunter) who creates all those cool Vampire Killing Kits that I sell!

Yes ladies and gents, I wrote, did the very artful layout, and designed the cover for this FULL COLOR photo/art book on how to kill those pesky vampires.


What it is:
Over 100 FULL COLOR pages of original photos, informative graphics, and handy information all about how to hunt, find, and destroy those smelly, dirty vampires.

What you get:
A brand new softcover edition, signed by the author. Full color cover, FULL COLOR interior on parchment-like pages, trade paperback 5.5"x8.5" high quality, professionally printed book. This is no cheapo job. The colors are vibrant and the book is truly a work of art.

"How To Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks" is a tongue-in-cheek, humorous "how to" book for the aspiring vampire hunter. CRYSTOBAL, Gothic Artist and Vampire Hunter, has decided to share his decades of wisdom and experience in locating and dusting those annoying blood suckers.

Smarmy, sarcastic, and of course a little cheesy, this book actually lays out plans for finding and staking real vampires. CRYSTOBAL gives tips on where to find vamps, the differences that vampires of different regions in the US possess, and weaponry: Including a complete section on his Vampire Killing Kits, and their use. There's even a history of vampires in America (dating back to colonial times) and his opinions on Vampires in the movies.

As an added treat, CRYSTOBAL tells a few stories about his vampire hunting adventures (with extremely rare actual photos of vampiresses). It ends with his story of "the one that got away".

This is a must-have for anyone who likes vampires, the occult, anything paranormal or even if you're just a weirdo. Great conversation piece!

For more information on the book, visit the official site of CRYSTOBAL's work at http://VampireKillingKits.stardustmysteries.com. Also available for Kindle, see site for details.
Signed by the authors, Amazon Best Selling Author Christopher Pinto (me) and CRYSTOBAL, the Gothic Artist (and self-proclaimed vampire hunter) who creates all those cool Vampire Killing Kits that I sell!

Yes ladies and gents, I wrote, did the very artful layout, and designed the cover for this FULL COLOR photo/art book on how to kill those pesky vampires.


What it is:
Over 100 FULL COLOR pages of original photos, informative graphics, and handy information all about how to hunt, find, and destroy those smelly, dirty vampires.

What you get:
A brand new softcover edition, signed by the author. Full color cover, FULL COLOR interior on parchment-like pages, trade paperback 5.5"x8.5" high quality, professionally printed book. This is no cheapo job. The colors are vibrant and the book is truly a work of art.

"How To Kill Vampires because they are unnatural jerks" is a tongue-in-cheek, humorous "how to" book for the aspiring vampire hunter. CRYSTOBAL, Gothic Artist and Vampire Hunter, has decided to share his decades of wisdom and experience in locating and dusting those annoying blood suckers.

Smarmy, sarcastic, and of course a little cheesy, this book actually lays out plans for finding and staking real vampires. CRYSTOBAL gives tips on where to find vamps, the differences that vampires of different regions in the US possess, and weaponry: Including a complete section on his Vampire Killing Kits, and their use. There's even a history of vampires in America (dating back to colonial times) and his opinions on Vampires in the movies.

As an added treat, CRYSTOBAL tells a few stories about his vampire hunting adventures (with extremely rare actual photos of vampiresses). It ends with his story of "the one that got away".

This is a must-have for anyone who likes vampires, the occult, anything paranormal or even if you're just a weirdo. Great conversation piece!

For more information on the book, visit the official site of CRYSTOBAL's work at http://VampireKillingKits.stardustmysteries.com. Also available for Kindle, see site for details.

Reviews

5 out of 5 stars (37)

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I'll accept payment through Paypal, money order, or certified/cashiers check. I would accept payment in single malt Scotch, but I think it's illegal, or at least against Etsy policy. Once you buy something & pay for it, it's all yours kiddo.

Returns & exchanges

Returns will only be accepted on items damaged in shipping. All vintage items are sold as-is, and are backed by the photos and description. Art items are final sale, no return so please make sure you understand what you are getting. I pretty much spend all the money I make the minute I get it, so...

Shipping policies

I generally use the US postal service or UPS, whichever is more economical. Insurance will ALWAYS be included in the shipping price. I don't trust the mail, insurance is a must. If you have a particular shipping method you'd like to use just let me know. I will usually ship out your item within 2 business days of purchase.
International Customers: International shipping is very expensive, and time consuming. Please allow up to five business days for me to get your package to the post offices, fill out customs papers, etc. Packages shipped out of the USA can take a week to three weeks to arrive.

Additional policies

Custom orders on vampire killing kits & other Goth art are gladly accepted.

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