Whoa! You can't favorite your own shop.

Whoa! You can't buy your own item.

Whoa! You can't favorite your own item.

Whoa! You can't add your own item to a list.

Add this item to a treasury!

Close
You don't have any treasuries yet. Enter a title below to create one.
Close

This item has been added.

View your treasury.

Like this item?

Add it to your favorites to revisit it later.
Sarcastic birthday card. Funny birthday card. Funny birthday card friend. Best friend birthday card. Happy birthday card. Funny birthday card sister. Adult birthday card. Funny birthday card brother. Snarky Card. Naughty Card.

Better than not being dead!

The Card:

- 4 1/2 x 6 1/4 card printed on 100 % cotton textured 110 lb card stock.
- Comes with a Kraft envelope inside a cellophane bag for extra protection.

Add an "aww shit" sticker for a little extra pizzazz! Gift stickers are packaged separately and NOT on the envelope.

If you would like to add your own message, select the custom option. Custom message stickers are only avail in sets of 12. Please note which one you want in the notes when you checkout. If it is not specified, you will receive "aww shit".

***Please read FAQ (below) and Shipping & Polices tab before ordering. Thanks!

Frequently asked questions about CrimsonandCloverGift

Standard shipping typically takes 3-5 business days. Priority normally takes 1-3. Please note USPS does not guarantee shipping arrival times. Occasionally USPS does experience delays.

Though packages usually arrive much sooner, please leave up to 3 weeks for domestic delivery and 5 weeks for international.

For guaranteed delivery please choose UPS at checkout.
Tees and Mugs generally take 3-5 business days to process before being shipped (4-6 during Christmas). Cards take 1-3 business days. Some tees are available for rush processing for $2. Please contact for a custom listing.
Please do not freak out! You will either get a refund or your package will get to you.

If your package doesn't arrive after 3 weeks please contact so a claim can be filed.

Please note there is nothing I can do until after 3 weeks has passed per the insurance company's policies.

If you would still like the missing items you must either

a) Repurchase it and wait to be reimbursed until after the claim is filed. I would love to send a new one, but I need you to fill out a link from the insurance co. If I send out the item before you fill out the claim, you (well not you of course, but other ppl) may disappear and I won't be able to file

or

b) wait til the claim is filed and approved. At that point you can have your items sent to you.
Tracking numbers are sent with your Etsy shipping email and are in your receipt.

Sometimes USPS doesn't not update the tracking, even as your package is in transit. So if your tracking hasn't updated, please rest assured your item has been shipped.

I have the same info you do as far as tracking, so unfortunately I will not be able to provide additional information. If your item is lost please feel free to contact for an insurance claim.
Please request a cancellation on your other order and purchase a new one with the correct address.

Packages are ONLY sent to addresses on file. Buyers are responsible for having the correct address.
Cancellations can only be made if the item hasn't started printing.

Custom items are not eligible for return or exchange

If your item arrives damaged, please contact within 48 hours of receipt for a refund or exchange. Please note all items are made to order.
Only UPS and Fedex guarantee delivery dates. They are options for certain items when checking out.
It's easy! A set of instructions are included with each order.
USPS:
USPS doesn't always update their tracking. If you received a shipping confirmation, your item has shipped. Please be patient, your item will likely arrive soon. If it doesn't, see above!

USPS tracking can take up to ONE WEEK to update!

If you don't trust USPS and would like to have a new item sent ASAP you must repurchase it and wait to be reimbursed until after the claim is filed. I would love to just send a new one, but I need you to file out a link from the insurance company. If I send out the item before you fill out the claim, you (well not you of course, but other people) may disappear and I won't be able to file a claim.


UPS
If your package was shipped via UPS and the tracking hasn't updated, please contact me ASAP!
Please email me via Etsy for a link to the linesheet.

You're Older But Not Dead. Funny Birthday Card. Funny Anniversary Card. Funny Valentine's Day Card.

$4.50+

Overview

  • Handmade item
  • Materials: ink, paper, cotton
  • Made to order
  • Ships worldwide from United States
  • Feedback: 1011 reviews
  • Favorited by: 79 people