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Custom Congratulations Funny Sobriety Card

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So you’re in your local drug store (and thankfully not there with a forged scrip) looking for a numbered birthday card for your friend’s single digit sobriety anniversary and all you see are Barney and Elmo. Instead, grab a sharpie and insert your friend’s number of years into this “customized” card. They’ll never know the difference. That kind of wisdom only comes when you reach double digit sobriety.

Front: “Congratulations on (insert number here) years of sobriety!”

Inside: “It’s such a big deal, I decided to buy you this custom card!”

Back side of card:
"WeAreNOTaGlumLot.com – Because sobriety shouldn’t be a bummer"

Dimensions: 5 x 7 (more specifically 4.61” x 7.17”).
Smooth, gloss-free matte finish.
Professionally printed on 80 lb. cardstock on state of the art equipment.
Yep. It comes with an envelope. A white one. And voila! – the card fits perfectly!

Cards are neither affiliated with nor endorsed by Alcoholics Anonymous. But we’ll bet the crusty old timers would like them.


4.5 out of 5 stars


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Returns & exchanges

We want our customers to be happy campers (even if you don't camp). If you aren't satisfied for any reason, just return the cards in their original condition and we will give you a complete refund. But we really hope you're not sending them back because you relapsed.

Shipping policies

Ships within 3 business days via USPS. This means it’s at the Post Office within 72 hours, so it should get to you within a week unless you’re out in the boondocks. Let me know if you want it sooner (within 3 days) and you can pay more for priority mail. In that case, you might consider that impatience might be one of your character defects.

Shipping cost is $1.25 for the first card and 50 cents for each additional card, but if you BUY 6 OR MORE CARDS, SHIPPING IS FREE! Etsy doesn't seem to have this option, but after your payment, I will refund your entire shipping cost.

Additional policies

Wholesale and volume pricing available. Email us and we'll talk. Or at least talk virtually.

Custom Congratulations Funny Sobriety Card

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  • Handmade item
  • Materials: cardstock, ink, digital printing, sobriety, snark
  • Feedback: 59 reviews
  • Favorited by: 8 people
  • Gift message available
This shop accepts Etsy gift cards

Shipping & returns

Get it fast! Ready to ship in 1–3 business days.
From United States

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