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Relapse “Shitty Choices” Funny Sobriety Card

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On page 24 of The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in Chapter 2 – There is a Solution, it states:

“The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so- called will power becomes practically nonexistent … We are without defense against the first drink.”
Your relapser has made poor choices in the past, and decided to go out and try them again. Tell him to put down that shovel and stop digging.

Outside of card reads: “Sorry about your relapse!”

The picture is a checkered prison of your relapser’s own making.

Inside of card reads: “But it probably wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t keep making such shitty choices. Did you reach your bottom yet?”

Hopefully this will be the last time you need to send them a relapse card.


4.5 out of 5 stars


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Returns & exchanges

We want our customers to be happy campers (even if you don't camp). If you aren't satisfied for any reason, just return the cards in their original condition and we will give you a complete refund. But we really hope you're not sending them back because you relapsed.

Shipping policies

Ships within 3 business days via USPS. This means it’s at the Post Office within 72 hours, so it should get to you within a week unless you’re out in the boondocks. Let me know if you want it sooner (within 3 days) and you can pay more for priority mail. In that case, you might consider that impatience might be one of your character defects.

Shipping cost is $1.25 for the first card and 50 cents for each additional card, but if you BUY 6 OR MORE CARDS, SHIPPING IS FREE! Etsy doesn't seem to have this option, but after your payment, I will refund your entire shipping cost.

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Wholesale and volume pricing available. Email us and we'll talk. Or at least talk virtually.

Relapse “Shitty Choices” Funny Sobriety Card

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  • Handmade item
  • Materials: cardstock, ink, digital printing, sobriety, snark, sarcasm
  • Feedback: 59 reviews
  • Favorited by: 5 people
  • Gift message available
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