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MATURE ADULT Humor Valentine Card \/ I Don't Want Candy... (CSW-V007)

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Unusual Valentine card.

I don’t want candy, jewels or a rose,
Or fancy cards with romantic prose.

All that stuff I can get on my own,
There is only one thing I can’t do alone.

So pucker up sweetie and give it a go...

My pussy can't lick itself you know!

Heavy 88# textured cover stock, white, for art canvas look. Printed on photo printer at highest possible dpi (9600 x 2400 dpi). Hand scored and folded. 4.25" x 5.5" (10.8 cm x 13.97 cm). 1 card. (Printing may be outsourced on occasion.)

One of two (our choice) heavy weight envelopes. Either Metallic inside and out (color varies) or a beautiful speckled beige. No horrid white interior either way. You'll thank us for it later. See photo 5. Size A2 (4.375" x 5.625" or 11.11 cm x 14.6 cm). 1 envelope.

Packaged in cellophane condom so it can't reproduce. Resealable.

Most items ship USPS within 36 hours. All items ship within 3 business days. Domestic (USA) orders over $20 receive delivery confirmation. Expedited available. More information in Shop Policies. http:\/\/\/shop_policy.php?user_id=5808348

If this item is sold out, it will be relisted within 12 hours. If you don't see it relisted within that time frame, try shopping at or contact us at service [!at]
Mean, rude, obnoxious, snarky greeting cards and other gifts for edgy, irreverent people. We make smart people laugh.

MATURE ADULT Humor Valentine Card \/ I Don't Want Candy... (CSW-V007)


  • Materials: paper, ink
  • Ships worldwide from Colorado, United States
  • Feedback: 5067 reviews
  • Favorited by: 3 people