Avoidant Attachment Tracker, Interactive Workbook, Somatic Healing Tool, Dismissive Avoidant Journal | Behind the Wall

It is Sunday night. Someone you love sent you a message at noon. Just checking in. Just saying they were thinking of you. You read it. You felt something move in your chest, and then you felt it close. You have not replied. It is eleven hours later.

The phone has been face-down on the kitchen counter for three hours. You have walked past it eight times. You have refolded the same towel twice. You will reply. You always reply, eventually. The part you cannot explain to anyone is the going-flat. Or why opening the message feels like more work than running ten kilometres.

You know it is the pattern. You have read the books. You have done the therapy. You can name your attachment style. You can quote Bowlby. The body still does this.

This tracker is for that moment. Not for the after-the-breakup morning when you finally let yourself miss them. Not for the therapist's office on Tuesday. For the moment you are in right now, with your phone face-down on the counter because you cannot bear to pick it up.

You open the file. You tap one chip. Chest closed. You move a slider. Presence at two. The system reads what you logged and quietly suggests three small body-based practices that often fit this exact configuration. You try one. Hand on heart, hand on belly. The wall does not vanish. It softens, slightly. That is enough. That is the work.

THIS WAS BUILT FOR YOU IF
. You go cold mid-conversation and cannot name why.
. You catalogue someone's flaws the moment they get close.
. You feel relief when plans get cancelled.
. You know it is the pattern. You just cannot stop the pattern.
. You have read every attachment book on the shelf. The body still does this.
. You want a tool that respects your intelligence and does not ask you to perform vulnerability.
The clinical name for the pattern is avoidant attachment, dismissive-avoidant in its more specific form. The search term that brought you here is avoidant attachment. Most products on Etsy with that name are static printables that ask you to journal your way open. This is not one of those.

WHAT IS DIFFERENT ABOUT THIS ONE
A real recommendation engine. After you save anything, the system reads what you logged and surfaces two or three body-based practices most likely to fit. Log chest closed plus presence at two plus alone-and-fine, it suggests hand on heart and belly, cup the back of the neck, and track warmth in the body. Log a recent pull-away plus the "I am fine" reflex plus fantasy of leaving, it suggests the antidote statements, hand on top of the head as a cue to stay, and stay thirty seconds longer.

Deterministic, clinically tagged, transparent. No black box AI. No data sent anywhere.

A Thaw tab nobody else is building. The wall side of your nervous system is fast to remember why people are too much. It is slow to catalogue the moments contact actually worked. The Thaw tab logs the moments the wall came down, even slightly. The conversation you stayed in. The eye contact that landed. The text you sent asking for support instead of waiting it out alone. Logged with body felt-sense chips, what it did to your presence, and where the window closed — the moment the system started to deactivate again. Your data eventually shows you something you have never seen quantified before. A thaw-to-pull-away ratio. Watching that number move is the work.

Wall Mode for the days when even a check-in is too much. Toggle it on, the form collapses to a single line. Write a word. Write nothing. Save. The fact that you opened the file counts. Skipping a week is not failure. It is the pattern naming itself, and the pattern naming itself is data worth having.

WHAT IS INSIDE
Six functional tabs. All offline. No account.
- TODAY. Presence slider. Numbness chips for the chest, the throat, the gut, the hands, the face. The "I am fine" reflex tracker. Coregulation log with "Nobody, and that is the pattern" as a real chip option. Eat-sleep-water completion pills. A two-line reach ledger that catches the small daily move: someone you thought about and did not reach out to, someone you did. Wall Mode for low-capacity days.
- THAW. The counter to the pull-away. Moments the wall came down. Logged with body felt-sense chips, who or what was there, what kind of moment it was, what it did to your presence, and where the window closed. The titration data the avoidant body needs to learn its own dosing.
- PULL-AWAYS. Catch the move. The cancellation. The cold shift mid-conversation. The long pause before responding. The disappearance. Severity slider. Cannot tell option for the days you cannot tell.
- DISTANCING PATTERNS. Going cold. Intellectualizing. Focusing on their flaws. The mental exit. Disappearing into work. The long pause. "I need space." Picking apart what they said to find the reason to leave. Not flaws. Strategies a younger part of you learned to use when contact felt unsafe. Named, not pathologized.
- PRACTICES. Sixteen body-based practices drawn from somatic experiencing, NeuroAffective Touch, and developmental trauma work. Hand on heart and belly. Cup the back of the neck. Wrap yourself. Hand on the kidneys. Hand on the sternum and the diaphragm. Find your hunger. Track warmth in the body. The voo sound. Let your weight drop. Wake the hands. Reach toward something. Say the wanting. Stay thirty seconds longer. Receive a touch. Down and back. Letting it be so.
- WHAT IS MOVING. Top numbness regions, top distancing patterns, most frequent pull-aways, thaw-to-pull-away ratio. 14-day presence chart with hover readout. Filter by last 14, 30, 90 days, or all time.

YOUR DATA NEVER LEAVES YOUR DEVICE
No account. No cloud. No analytics. No subscription. Everything you write lives in your browser local storage. Nobody, including the person who built this, can see what you log here. Export and Import buttons let you keep your own backups.

WHO BUILT THIS
Alex Papaconstantinou, Somatic Experiencing Practitioner. Trained in NeuroAffective Touch (Aline LaPierre), Touch Skills Training (Kathy Kain), Somatic Sex Education, and Somatic Experiencing. Years of advanced training in complex, developmental, attachment, sexual, and relational trauma.
Trauma trained, not just trauma informed.
bodymindreset.ca
WHAT YOU GET IN THE DOWNLOAD
Three files. One download. Lifetime access.

The interactive HTML tracker. Single file. Seven tabs. Sixteen practices. Recommendation engine. Works offline.
A 3-page printable how-to guide as PDF. Five steps to start. iOS install link that lets you add the tracker to your iPhone home screen with one tap.
An 18-page educational companion PDF. The pull-away cycle from attachment research. NARM's Connection survival style and where the wall comes from. The five antidote statements specific to the avoidant pattern. Coregulation as biology. Why somatic work cuts deeper than years of talk for this pattern. A reading list. Where to go next.

COMPATIBILITY
Works on any modern browser. Mac, Windows, iPhone, iPad, Android. Mobile responsive. Tested at phone width. The how-to guide includes a one-tap link to install the tracker on your iPhone home screen so it behaves like a real app.

SCOPE
This is an educational and self-tracking tool. Not therapy. Not a diagnosis. Not a substitute for clinical support. Designed to live alongside your therapy or somatic work, not replace it. If you are in crisis, please reach for a real human directly.

REFUNDS
Etsy policy is no refunds on digital downloads. If you have a technical issue (the file will not open, the bundle is missing a piece, a feature is broken) please message me. I will help.