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Gift Card for First Class Tickets to Nowhere. All occasions. Ironic humor. Dark humor. Farewell card. Absurd humor. Made in USA. Blank card

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Description

CARD PURPOSE:
Because Amounting to Nothing doesn’t mean you can’t do it with style! Watch the delight and high expectations melt off of friends and loved-ones' faces when they peel open the envelope to find they're 'receiving' First Class Tickets to Nowhere!

• Use this card to gift very thin objects. Or simply use it to be a smartass.


CARD COPY:
Gift card for: First Class tickets to Nowhere! Enjoy such activities as: Waiting indefinitely! Navel gazing! Thumb twiddling! Stop running around in circles! Gondé Fast's Top Destination. Customer quote: My family had so much fun! Staring at each other for five days was transformative!


TECH SPECS:
- One card with accompanying envelope.
- Folded card measures 5.5" wide by 4.25" high (standard A2 card).
- Blank inside.
- Black ink on 80lb uncoated, quite rigid, textured, white card stock.
- 100% recycled brown bag kraft envelope (70lb text, square flap) (standard A2 envelope).
- Designed and printed in Chicago. Woot!
CARD PURPOSE:
Because Amounting to Nothing doesn’t mean you can’t do it with style! Watch the delight and high expectations melt off of friends and loved-ones' faces when they peel open the envelope to find they're 'receiving' First Class Tickets to Nowhere!

• Use this card to gift very thin objects. Or simply use it to be a smartass.


CARD COPY:
Gift card for: First Class tickets to Nowhere! Enjoy such activities as: Waiting indefinitely! Navel gazing! Thumb twiddling! Stop running around in circles! Gondé Fast's Top Destination. Customer quote: My family had so much fun! Staring at each other for five days was transformative!


TECH SPECS:
- One card with accompanying envelope.
- Folded card measures 5.5" wide by 4.25" high (standard A2 card).
- Blank inside.
- Black ink on 80lb uncoated, quite rigid, textured, white card stock.
- 100% recycled brown bag kraft envelope (70lb text, square flap) (standard A2 envelope).
- Designed and printed in Chicago. Woot!

Payment options

Secure options
  • Accepts Etsy Gift Cards and Etsy Credits
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Returns & exchanges

I gladly accept returns and cancellations
Contact me within: 3 days of delivery
Ship items back within: 14 days of delivery
Request a cancellation within: 24 hours of purchase
I don't accept exchanges
But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
Conditions of return
Buyers are responsible for return shipping costs. If the item is not returned in its original condition, the buyer is responsible for any loss in value.

FAQs

Quantities of 1-6 cards are shipped in 9" x 6" envelopes.

Quantities of 7+ cards are shipped in small corrugated boxes (7.5"L x 5.5"W x Up to 2"D) or large corrugated boxes (10"W x 8"W x Up to 8"D).

Sometimes, we include a little invite to a brief customer experience survey. (We like data!)
US Postal Service. USPS First Class Letter/Lg Envelope or USPS First Class Package (aka Parcel) service depending on the quantity ordered.

If you'd prefer a different service, please reach out to me.
Typically with 1-2 business days of cleared payment.
See: https://www.usps.com/ship/welcome.htm for estimated shipping times.

If you don't receive your order, please contact us!
Please do not use our paper products to clean your bottom although you might be tempted to do so.
We enjoy flashing our brilliant cupcakes at life.
No, although you could say our humor is filtered through moonshine. Especially apple pie flavored moonshine.

MoonshinePaperLLC made this item with help from

  • Blooming Color, Naperville, IL
MoonshinePaperLLC made this item with help from:
  • Blooming Color, Naperville, IL

Gift Card for First Class Tickets to Nowhere. All occasions. Ironic humor. Dark humor. Farewell card. Absurd humor. Made in USA. Blank card

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$3.25

Overview

Shipping & returns

Get it fast! Ready to ship in 1–2 business days.
From United States
Returns accepted
See return policy

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