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Enjoy 7 Days Watching Paint Dry. All occasions. Ironic humor. Dark humor. Absurd humor. Made in USA. Blank card. Funny cards. Humorous cards

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Description

CARD PURPOSE:
Watch the delight and high expectations melt off of friends and loved-ones' faces when they peel open the envelope to find they're getting free passes to 7 Days of Watching Paint Dry! Your friend didn’t want that week at the spa, did they?

• Use this card to gift very thin objects. Or simply use it to be a smartass.


CARD COPY:
Enjoy your Seven Days of Watching Paint Dry! (Admissions passes enclosed.) Seven days of nothing but paint watching! Millions of square feet of bare walls to stare at! Boredom has never been so exciting!
Day 1: Ooh, wet paint! What lovely shade of doldrum! I'm having fun already!
Day 4: Whoa! It's moist now! The monotony complements the tedium stunningly! This is so exciting! I'm not quite sure what to do with myself! (Officer - Hey! If I hear you getting rowdy in there, I'll escort you off the premises myself!
Day 7: Ma'am, kindly refrain from Banging Your Head Against the Wall. We are not offering that activity today.


TECH SPECS:
- One card with accompanying envelope.
- Folded card measures 5.5" wide by 4.25" high (standard A2 card).
- Blank inside.
- Black ink on 80lb uncoated, more rigid, textured, white card stock.
- 100% recycled brown bag kraft envelope (70lb text, square flap) (standard A2 envelope).
- Designed and printed in Chicago. Woot!
CARD PURPOSE:
Watch the delight and high expectations melt off of friends and loved-ones' faces when they peel open the envelope to find they're getting free passes to 7 Days of Watching Paint Dry! Your friend didn’t want that week at the spa, did they?

• Use this card to gift very thin objects. Or simply use it to be a smartass.


CARD COPY:
Enjoy your Seven Days of Watching Paint Dry! (Admissions passes enclosed.) Seven days of nothing but paint watching! Millions of square feet of bare walls to stare at! Boredom has never been so exciting!
Day 1: Ooh, wet paint! What lovely shade of doldrum! I'm having fun already!
Day 4: Whoa! It's moist now! The monotony complements the tedium stunningly! This is so exciting! I'm not quite sure what to do with myself! (Officer - Hey! If I hear you getting rowdy in there, I'll escort you off the premises myself!
Day 7: Ma'am, kindly refrain from Banging Your Head Against the Wall. We are not offering that activity today.


TECH SPECS:
- One card with accompanying envelope.
- Folded card measures 5.5" wide by 4.25" high (standard A2 card).
- Blank inside.
- Black ink on 80lb uncoated, more rigid, textured, white card stock.
- 100% recycled brown bag kraft envelope (70lb text, square flap) (standard A2 envelope).
- Designed and printed in Chicago. Woot!

Payment options

Secure options
  • Accepts Etsy Gift Cards and Etsy Credits
Etsy keeps your payment information secure. Etsy shops never receive your credit card information.

Returns & exchanges

I gladly accept returns and cancellations
Contact me within: 3 days of delivery
Ship items back within: 14 days of delivery
Request a cancellation within: 24 hours of purchase
I don't accept exchanges
But please contact me if you have any problems with your order.
Conditions of return
Buyers are responsible for return shipping costs. If the item is not returned in its original condition, the buyer is responsible for any loss in value.

FAQs

Quantities of 1-6 cards are shipped in 9" x 6" envelopes.

Quantities of 7+ cards are shipped in small corrugated boxes (7.5"L x 5.5"W x Up to 2"D) or large corrugated boxes (10"W x 8"W x Up to 8"D).

Sometimes, we include a little invite to a brief customer experience survey. (We like data!)
US Postal Service. USPS First Class Letter/Lg Envelope or USPS First Class Package (aka Parcel) service depending on the quantity ordered.

If you'd prefer a different service, please reach out to me.
Typically with 1-2 business days of cleared payment.
See: https://www.usps.com/ship/welcome.htm for estimated shipping times.

If you don't receive your order, please contact us!
Please do not use our paper products to clean your bottom although you might be tempted to do so.
We enjoy flashing our brilliant cupcakes at life.
No, although you could say our humor is filtered through moonshine. Especially apple pie flavored moonshine.

MoonshinePaperLLC made this item with help from

  • Blooming Color, Naperville, IL
MoonshinePaperLLC made this item with help from:
  • Blooming Color, Naperville, IL

Enjoy 7 Days Watching Paint Dry. All occasions. Ironic humor. Dark humor. Absurd humor. Made in USA. Blank card. Funny cards. Humorous cards

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$3.25

Overview

This shop accepts Etsy gift cards

Shipping & returns

Get it fast! Ready to ship in 1–2 business days.
From United States
Returns accepted
See return policy

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