True Earth Christmas Ornaments! Show the whole world you're woke af this holiday season, decorate your tree with the bobbles truth!


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metal, lies, flatness, chain

Check MATE Globetards, the reason for the season is TRUTH!!

This Christmas, stand with Shaq, Kyrie Irving, Tila Tequila and MANY more people all over the earth who make a TON of money and therefore are RIGHT!

For real, look deep in to Shaqs eyes and tell me hes wrong. Go ahead, google them, I'll wait.

And lets not forget that one of the BEST rappers ever, B.o.B. got into a Twitter feud with astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson, because stupid science bit*hes be get'n him PISSED!! If B.o.B says its flat, IT DO.

Its time to open your eyes, do the math, read the facts, THE TRUTH IS IN YOU!!

Here are just a few of the numerous facts that support your purchase of this butt plug, from William Carpenters 1885 over night best selling sensation "A hundred proofs the Earth is not a Globe", a man FAR ahead of his time, and ours:

1) The aeronaut can see for himself that Earth is a Plane. The appearance presented to him, even at the highest elevation he has ever attained, is that of a concave surface - this being exactly what is to be expected of a surface that is truly level, since it is the nature of level surfaces to appear to rise to a level with the eye of the observer. This is ocular demonstration and proof that Earth is not a globe.

2) Whenever experiments have been tried on the surface of standing water, this surface has always been found to be level. If the Earth were a globe, the surface of all standing water would be convex. This is an experimental proof that Earth is not a globe.

3) Surveyors' operations in the construction of railroads, tunnels, or canals are conducted without the slightest "allowance" being made for "curvature," although it is taught that this so-called allowance is absolutely necessary! This is a cutting proof that Earth is not a globe.

4) There are rivers that flow for hundreds of miles towards the level of the sea without falling more than a few feet - notably, the Nile, which, in a thousand miles, falls but a foot. A level expanse of this extent is quite incompatible with the idea of the Earth's "convexity." It is, therefore, a reasonable proof that Earth is not a globe.

5) The lights which are exhibited in lighthouses are seen by navigators at distances at which, according to the scale of the supposed "curvature" given by astronomers, they ought to be many hundreds of feet, in some cases, down below the line of sight! For instance: the light at Cape Hatteras is seen at such a distance (40 miles) that, according. to theory, it ought to be nine-hundred feet higher above the level of the sea than it absolutely is, in order to be visible! This is a conclusive proof that there is no "curvature," on the surface of the sea - "the level of the sea,"- ridiculous though it is to be under the necessity of proving it at all: but it is, nevertheless, a conclusive proof that the Earth is not a globe.

And there's A LOT more, you know I mean it, because I KEEP using CAPS!! WAKE UP FOLKS!!

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Jesse Lindsay

Jesse Lindsay

Portland, Oregon

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