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Reality Sucks Cross Stitch Pattern

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This pattern makes use of a fabulous quote from the comic Calvin and Hobbes, with some added profanity since we're all adults now. However, this pattern is also available with the swearing removed. If you would like the clean version please specify that in the seller comments box.

I have slightly edited this pattern to remove various mistakes and make it more visually pleasing, as I created this piece very early in my stitching career. All the designs remain the same, but the lower border is lower (and thus complete) and I've altered a few things with the font.

The finished piece measures 6 1/8 inches wide and 3 inches high when stitched on 14 count Aida. This pattern will be e-mailed to you as a .jpg file.

If you would like to commission a custom pattern, please contact me.


5 out of 5 stars
Reviewed by ferrous
Buyer photo ferrous, who reviewed this item with the Etsy app for iPhone.
5 out of 5 stars
Mar 21, 2018
I absolutely loved doing this pattern. And it gave so much scope for choosing my own colours!
Raining Umbrella Cross-Stitch Pattern

Reviewed by Kelsey
Buyer photo Kelsey, who reviewed this item with the Etsy app for iPhone.
5 out of 5 stars
May 19, 2018
Absolutely brilliant. Pattern was clear and easy to work from. And the pattern is very versatile: I varied the colors from those suggested, and it still came out looking beautiful. It was a lot of fun to stitch, and now I can’t wait to hang it!
Bless This House - Mos Eisley Edition Cross-Stitch Pattern

Reviewed by Mandy
5 out of 5 stars
May 17, 2018
Clear, easy-to-follow instructions, with colour and b&w symbols chart, and a really fun original design! Very happy with the pattern - thank you!

It's going to make a wonderful gift for a family member's upcoming birthday :)
May Cthulhu Devour This House Last - Cross-stitch Pattern

Reviewed by Jen Blau
Buyer photo Jen Blau, who reviewed this item with the Etsy app for iPhone.
5 out of 5 stars
May 9, 2018
Turned out perfect!
May Cthulhu Devour This House Last - Cross-stitch Pattern


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Returns & exchanges

I do not offer refunds. It is up to the buyer to read listings carefully and ask questions before they buy.

If a listing title includes the word "pattern" it is just that, a pattern, not a finished piece.

Additional policies

Do not sell finished pieces made with my patterns barring for charity purposes. In those instances the full price from the finished piece must go to the charity, not a percentage.

My patterns do not use symbols (in general), but solid color blocks on graph paper. For me this is both the easiest way to create a pattern and the easiest to read when stitching.

I am not currently able to convert my patterns to symbols only, though I am working on that with a few of the more complex ones.

If a pattern is difficult to read on your monitor or after printing (ie: if the colors run together), please contact me and I'll work to fix it for you.

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