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buffalo guts lead to remote lumber camps with lumberjacks

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the romance of remote wilderness. the close company of men. the welcome prospect of hard honest work. that my friends is what is in store if you are swallowed up by a buffalo. thats right i said buffalo. they can swallow more than you'd think. these big dogs have got mouths like snakes they do. they just unhinge the lower jaw and swallow you over. you can take that as fact. i'm an animal expert. nice to meet you. perhaps you're a young nipper who stumbled across this page while googling stuff for your school report about buffalo. kid. you just hit the jackpot. everything you need to know is right here, its coming out of my brain and its going on the page. start plagiarising verbatim. im gonna get you an A+.

buffalo are predators. i know you think they are the whipping boy of the american plains but thats propaganda that they put out there to lure you in so they can EAT YOU. its what they do. but don't worry. because all buffalo (buffalicious lumberus) lead to remote lumber camps. and a lumber camp is the best thing in the world. you'll sing songs. get hairy. get muscly. eat well. be outside. can you imagine it in the summer months? you cut down trees. use big saws. drive big trucks. its a wild ride my friend. and if you are a girl then you'll be around men like that all day. and all women love big hairy muscly men who sing songs. and all men love women who love that. even other women love women who love that. so everyone is covered.

so.

the buffalo.

this is one of a series of box frames i have made about whats inside animals(about 30 in total).

the box frame measures 256 x 256 x 45. so fairly close to the size of a piece of a4 paper (300x200). i took a photograph with admiral ackbar standing in front for scale. thats a small model of admiral ackbar and not the real 6ft tall admiral ackbar obviously. i made the illustration of the buffalo on the front with the text. it is adhered directly to the glass. the illustration on the inside is not mine, its vintage and is ripped directly from an old 1970s childrens book - oh my!! - and is stuck down with coloured plumbers tape.

perhaps you could keep it on a shelf above your newborn so as to instill a fearless outlook in the nipper. perhaps youre a teacher and could keep it in your school classroom in the event of rabid buffalo sparking mob panic in the playground. perhaps you could keep it by your armchair and when your youngest comes home in a terror you can klunk him round the earhole with it, and warn him sternly of the dangers of cowardice in the face of clear science, which is what this is, i assure you.

buffalo guts lead to remote lumber camps. fact.

buffalo guts lead to remote lumber camps with lumberjacks

Overview

  • Handmade item
  • Materials: glass, plastic, box frame, vintage illustration
  • Ships worldwide from Glasgow, United Kingdom
  • Feedback: 98 reviews
  • Favorited by: 45 people