Fictional Map of a Theoretical (yet Improbable) Subway Map of the Dutch City of Arnhem (A2 paper size; frame not included)
NIEUW: Nu ook verkrijgbaar bij boekhandel Hijman Ongerijmd!
Welcome to the City of Arnhem, home to the country’s most overly extensive metro transit network. We ran out of space to build railway tracks on the surface, so we decided to just start digging.
For the convenience of the international visitor, this map has been translated into English with the highest degree of literal accuracy, ensuring that no confusion will arise whatsoever when finding your way around the one and only Hollywood on the Rhine. Now you too can explore this beautiful city without being put on the wrong leg or feeling like you have been sent from the cupboard to the wall.
Take a smooth ride from the northwestern district of Golden Bottom all the way to the village of Housses in the southeast, or skip the busy city centre during the weekends by hopping on at Stirmouth Square and getting off at Sunny Beach Road. Traverse the High Fallow National Park while pondering the natural beauty going over your head, or leave for an adventurous detour all the way to the historical streets of Eastbrook and Westford.
The unique Arnhem Metro Transit Network is available both to the weary commuter seeking an easy and accessible method to get from Alderfield Park to the Butterdyke, and to those audacious pioneers looking for the road less travelled. Pay no heed to the pretentious voices in the Randstad saying ‘why would you even want to go there’, ‘what does a town this size need a metro for’ or ‘excuse me, I’m trying to get to work, stop harassing me with random questions about Arnhem’. The Arnhem Metro is truly something you have to see in order to believe.