EatMeIntimates' Shop Announcement

Need it fast? Add Rush Processing for just $5!

EatMeIntimates' Shop Policies


I welcome you to Eat Me!


Washington State buyers must pay sales tax on all purchases.

Due to international shipping regulations, orders from the following countries will be CANCELLED and REFUNDED:

If your address cannot be verified by USPS and you do not respond to my messages, your order will be cancelled and fully refunded.

If you do not provide me with your flavor/scent choices on a set of items and you do not respond to my messages, you will receive random popular flavors.

Most Paypal and Etsy Direct Checkout payments go through instantly.

If you pay with an E-check, it may take several days for the payment to clear. The 5-7 day processing time (or 1-2 day rush if purchased) will begin after payment has cleared.


☆Standard Order Processing Time: 5-7 business days
☆Rush Order Processing Time: 1-2 business days

★★★ DOMESTIC (US) Transit times:
$3 for one item (First class: 2-5 day shipping)
$6 for 2-8 items (Priority flat rate: 1-3 day shipping)

★★★ INTERNATIONAL Transit times:
Canada: $7.75 for first item, $2 each additional item (First class: 2-3 weeks)
Everywhere else: $9.50 for first item, $3 each additional item (First class: 2-5 weeks)
$25 for priority flat rate that holds up to 8 items (1-2 weeks)

All single item domestic orders, and all international orders, will ship first class in a padded envelope.
This service is NOT insured.

All domestic orders of sets or 2+ individual items will automatically ship in a Small Priority Flat rate box, or if over a certain number of items it will ship in a Flat Rate Padded Envelope.
Larger orders may be subject to additional shipping charges.
This service is insured.

All packages say they come from Etsy and are marked liquid, but my business name is not on them.
NOTE to international buyers- Customs Declaration will say LOTION for all items.


♫♫♫TL;DR - Rush order processing is a non-refundable $5 service charge that pushes your order to the front of the queue for immediate processing. This has absolutely nothing to do with USPS or their services or their shipping times. This will cut your wait time by as much as 8 days.

☆Approximate Rush Times: 1-2 business days

♫♫♫Full Details - Typically, all orders have a 5-7 business day processing time (not including shipping time, which could also be 1-5 days). Depending on what you order, when you order, and my sales volume at the time, it could be up to 10 full days before I’m able to ship your package (and it could be up to 2 weeks from purchase when it finally arrives; international takes even longer).

The rush processing fee ensures that your order will be processed immediately (ahead of all other orders) so that your package will ship in the earliest available USPS scheduled pickup time. Please be aware that rush orders placed after 9pm (Pacific) are more likely to ship on the second day, as I may not be able to schedule a next-day pickup.

Rush processing does NOT guarantee a delivery date. Rush processing does NOT change USPS shipping times, or magically make the package teleport directly to your door. I cannot be held responsible for delays caused by USPS, the weather, or angry deities.

If purchased, the $5 rush fee is non-refundable unless I am unable to rush the order.
Saturdays and Sundays are not business days, and therefore don't count towards the 1-2 day rush time.

If you require your package by a certain date, and I feel that it needs to be rushed to make it on time, you will be asked to purchase the $5 rush processing fee (an additional $0.20 will be added to create a custom listing for you to purchase the shipping if you failed to do so at the time of your original order).

This upgrade is only available for orders being shipped Domestic Priority, but is available on International First Class (or faster services).

★★★ If ordering more than 2 individual listings, you will likely be overcharged on shipping. I will refund this extra charge when I ship your order. If I've shipped your order with no shipping refund, and you feel you were overcharged based on the prices in my Shipping Policy, please contact me because I may have derped.

Etsy sellers are not responsible for customs fees and import taxes imposed upon you by your country of residence.
Falsifying customs declaration forms in order to help a buyer avoid these taxes and fees is against the law, and comes with a punishment of up to $10,000 USD with the possibility of up to 5 years of imprisonment.
Further information about these laws can be found here:

Refunds and Exchanges

Shipping charges and rush processing fees are non-refundable (I'm pretty good about refunding overages, though).

Due to the personal nature of my products, I cannot accept returns.

If your order shows up looking like the post office hired an elephant to kick it to your house, PLEASE TAKE A PICTURE!!!

Send me that picture, even if your camera phone is so crappy that the picture of smashed body paint looks like Sasquatch.

I will refund your money if you REALLY want me to, but most people get one whiff of their smashed order and prefer a replacement.

Additional Policies and FAQs

★★★Coupon Codes
Only one coupon code may be used per purchase.

★★★Holiday orders.
I don't care what holiday you're ordering for. Valentine's, Chanukah, 4th of July, Wednesday...
Make sure your orders are placed at LEAST 10 days before the holiday. If you wait til the last minute, you're paying waaaay more in shipping.
If you're in a rush, please consider adding $5 Rush Processing.

Seller Information

To contact me, please use the "Contact the shop owner" link on the left side of the main page of my shop (under the avatar), or the "Ask a question" button on the right side of any listing (next to the listing price).

Be aware that I may take a few days to get back to you. If you don't hear from me after a week, yell at me.

Last Updated November 21, 2015