EatMeIntimates

Edible Massage Oils and More

Washington, United States · 2895 Sales

EatMeIntimates

Edible Massage Oils and More

Washington, United States 2895 Sales On Etsy since 2010

4.5 out of 5 stars
(510)

Announcement   Need it fast? Add Rush Processing for just $5!
~~~~~
Processing Time:★5-7 BUSINESS DAYS★ (9-10 days incl. weekends)
$5 Rush Processing:★1-2 BUSINESS DAYS★
(Processing times do not include shipping times. See policies for details.)
~~~~~
Cosmo (Feat. "Stroke It™" Chocolate Bacon): http://goo.gl/a6LmQU
Buzzfeed (Feat. "Stroke It™" S'mores): http://goo.gl/mF17Pl
Buzzfeed (Feat. "The Right Spot™" Butterbeer): http://goo.gl/bJ3ye4

Announcement
Last updated on Feb 20, 2016

Need it fast? Add Rush Processing for just $5!
~~~~~
Processing Time:★5-7 BUSINESS DAYS★ (9-10 days incl. weekends)
$5 Rush Processing:★1-2 BUSINESS DAYS★
(Processing times do not include shipping times. See policies for details.)
~~~~~
Cosmo (Feat. "Stroke It™" Chocolate Bacon): http://goo.gl/a6LmQU
Buzzfeed (Feat. "Stroke It™" S'mores): http://goo.gl/mF17Pl
Buzzfeed (Feat. "The Right Spot™" Butterbeer): http://goo.gl/bJ3ye4

The Lubricator

Contact shop owner

The Lubricator

View all 466 items

About

I Welcome You to Eat Me!

Follow me on social media to find out the Flavor of the Day!
Save $2 by purchasing Flavor of the Day listings - http://etsy.me/269XCJ6

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https://www.facebook.com/EatMeIntimates/

Twitter
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Shop members
  • The Lubricator

    Owner, Maker, Designer

Shop policies

Last updated on March 16, 2016
I welcome you to Eat Me!

Accepted payment methods

  • Pay with Visa
  • Pay with Master Card
  • Pay with American Express
  • Pay with Discover
  • Pay with PayPal
  • Buy with Apple Pay
  • Pay with Sofort
  • Pay with iDeal
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards
Payment
Washington State buyers must pay sales tax on all purchases.

Due to international shipping regulations, orders from the following countries will be CANCELLED and REFUNDED:
COLUMBIA
ITALY
MEXICO
NORTH KOREA
PANAMA
PHILIPPINES
QATAR
SUDAN

If your address cannot be verified by USPS and you do not respond to my messages, your order will be cancelled and fully refunded.

If you do not provide me with your flavor/scent choices on a set of items and you do not respond to my messages, you will receive random popular flavors.

Most Paypal and Etsy Direct Checkout payments go through instantly.

If you pay with an E-check, it may take several days for the payment to clear. The 5-7 day processing time (or 1-2 day rush if purchased) will begin after payment has cleared.
Shipping
☆Standard Order Processing Time: 5-7 business days
☆Rush Order Processing Time: 1-2 business days

PACKAGING IS DISCREET
All packages say they come from Etsy and are marked liquid, but my business name is not on them.
International Customs Declaration will say LOTION for all items.

★★★ DOMESTIC (US) Transit times:
$3.50 for one item (First class: 2-5 day shipping, uninsured)
$7 for up to 10 items (Priority flat rate: 1-3 day shipping, insured)

★★★ INTERNATIONAL Transit times:
2 FL Oz. bottles have a shipping weight of 4 Oz. (includes 1 FL Oz. body paint)
4 FL Oz. bottles have a shipping weight of 7 Oz.

★Canada: $10.00 up to 8 Oz., $16 for 9 Oz. – 32 Oz. (2 Lbs.) (First class: 2-3 weeks, uninsured)
★Everywhere else: $14.00 up to 8 Oz., $23 for 9 Oz. – 32 Oz. (2 Lbs.) (First class: 2-5 weeks, uninsured)
★$25 (Canada) or $35 (Everywhere else) for Priority flat rate (1-2 weeks, insured)

★★★ If ordering more than 2 listings, you may be overcharged on shipping. I will refund this extra charge when I ship your order. If I've shipped your order with no shipping refund, and you feel you were overcharged based on the prices in my Shipping Policy, please contact me because I may have derped.

★★★ RUSH ORDER PROCESSING- $5 add-on

♫♫♫TL;DR - Rush order processing is a non-refundable $5 service charge that pushes your order to the front of the queue for immediate processing. This has absolutely nothing to do with USPS or their services or their shipping times. This will cut your wait time by as much as 8 days.

♫♫♫Full Details - Typically, all orders have a 5-7 business day processing time (not including shipping time, which could also be 1-5 days). Depending on what you order, when you order, and my sales volume at the time, it could be up to 10 full days before I’m able to ship your package (and it could be up to 2 weeks from purchase when it finally arrives; international takes even longer).

The rush processing fee ensures that your order will be processed immediately ahead of all other orders.

Rush processing does NOT guarantee a delivery date. Rush processing does NOT change USPS shipping times, or magically make the package teleport directly to your door. I cannot be held responsible for delays caused by USPS, the weather, or angry deities.

The $5 rush fee is non-refundable unless I am unable to rush the order.
Saturdays, Sundays, and holidays are not business days, and therefore don't count towards the 1-2 day rush time.
A rush order placed on a Friday may ship as late as, but no later than, Tuesday.

If you require your package by a certain date, and I feel that it needs to be rushed to make it on time, you will be asked to purchase the $5 rush processing fee (an additional $0.20 will be added to create a custom listing for you to purchase the shipping if you failed to do so at the time of your original order).

This upgrade is only available for orders being shipped Domestic Priority, but is available on International First Class (or faster services).


INTERNATIONAL BUYERS PLEASE NOTE:
Etsy sellers are not responsible for customs fees and import taxes imposed upon you by your country of residence.
Falsifying customs declaration forms in order to help a buyer avoid these taxes and fees is against the law, and comes with a punishment of up to $10,000 USD with the possibility of up to 5 years of imprisonment.
Further information about these laws can be found here:
http://codes.lp.findlaw.com/uscode/13/9/305
Refunds and Exchanges
Shipping charges and rush processing fees are non-refundable (I'm pretty good about refunding overages, though).

Due to the personal nature of my products, I cannot accept returns.

If your order shows up looking like the post office hired an elephant to kick it to your house, PLEASE TAKE A PICTURE!!!

I will refund your money if you REALLY want me to, but most people get one whiff of their smashed order and prefer a replacement.
Additional policies and FAQs
★★★Coupon Codes
Only one coupon code may be used per purchase.

★★★Holiday orders.
I don't care what holiday you're ordering for. Valentine's, Chanukah, 4th of July, Wednesday...
Please keep an eye out for announcements in the listings regarding holiday shipping deadlines. If you're still not sure, ask.
If you're in a rush, please consider adding $5 Rush Processing.