LarrySagersLawBodega

Larry Sager's Law Bodega!!

Austin, Texas · 4 Sales

LarrySagersLawBodega

Larry Sager's Law Bodega!!

Austin, Texas 4 Sales On Etsy since 2011

Announcement   Hi, I'm Dean Larry Sager, and welcome to my Etsy Shop: Larry Sager's Law Bodega. Whether you're looking for Larry Sager's Patented Dog Bandannas (no patent pending) or bedazzled law textbooks, you've come to the right place! Legally-inspired crafts from a legal craftsman!

All proceeds go to the University of Texas School of Law Annual Fund. Really. These items are for sale. Altho' in all honesty: almost everything here is held together with Elmer's Glue.

---

I’m excited to introduce Larry Sager’s Law Bodega as perhaps the most ambitious fund-raising campaign in the 128 year history of the University of Texas School of Law!

It’s no secret that the current economic downturn has finally reached our law school. Our endowment, while robust, has not kept pace with projections, and annual tuition increases have, alas, become necessary to meet our own operating budget.

We initially considered implementing certain “austerity” measures. Complementary access to WestLaw would have been discontinued. All public restrooms in the law school would be chained after 5 pm, and the quality of the “sanitary paper” would have been reduced by precisely one-ply. We even secured sponsorship deals with several corporate partners. The Susman Godfrey Atrium would become the “GoDaddy.com Law Box,” and Professor Mark As**er would now be known as “Professor Pepsi.”

Our austerity Czar, Alan R*u, even recommended that classrooms be outfitted with motion and heat sensors, to save electricity when the rooms were vacant. But unfortunately, for Professor Lino Gr***ia, the sensors failed to recognize him as a warm-blooded mammal and the lights kept shutting off in the middle of his lectures.

(I am precluded by the faculty's union contract from revealing the identities of these particular professors. However, since we are state employees, please feel free to file a Freedom of Information Act request to gain access to our private correspondence. I'll admit: I’ve been reading Professor Guy We***rn's electronic-mail for years, and I am compelled to examine them through splayed fingers, to mute my own horror! They are akin to reading the most private thoughts of some Rimbaudian Libertine recently furloughed from an island prison).

Despite these financial difficulties, however, it has always been my motto that in adversity lies opportunity. After a setback of my own a few years, during which a flock of escaped emus terrorized Fredericksburg with their unremitting wine-fueled savagery, I certainly could have taken the advice of my attorney, George D*x, and fled to Mexico. But I have never played fortune’s fool!! And I seized upon this moment to launch my own line of pre-packaged frozen Sager Farms Emu Burgers!

It is in that triumphal spirit that I launched Larry Sager’s Law Bodega. I hope you will take my hand, and, together, we can build a bridge that connects to an onramp that puts us on a highway that leads toward a brighter tomorrow!

Warmest regards,

Larry Sager

Announcement

Last updated on Apr 1, 2017

Hi, I'm Dean Larry Sager, and welcome to my Etsy Shop: Larry Sager's Law Bodega. Whether you're looking for Larry Sager's Patented Dog Bandannas (no patent pending) or bedazzled law textbooks, you've come to the right place! Legally-inspired crafts from a legal craftsman!

All proceeds go to the University of Texas School of Law Annual Fund. Really. These items are for sale. Altho' in all honesty: almost everything here is held together with Elmer's Glue.

---

I’m excited to introduce Larry Sager’s Law Bodega as perhaps the most ambitious fund-raising campaign in the 128 year history of the University of Texas School of Law!

It’s no secret that the current economic downturn has finally reached our law school. Our endowment, while robust, has not kept pace with projections, and annual tuition increases have, alas, become necessary to meet our own operating budget.

We initially considered implementing certain “austerity” measures. Complementary access to WestLaw would have been discontinued. All public restrooms in the law school would be chained after 5 pm, and the quality of the “sanitary paper” would have been reduced by precisely one-ply. We even secured sponsorship deals with several corporate partners. The Susman Godfrey Atrium would become the “GoDaddy.com Law Box,” and Professor Mark As**er would now be known as “Professor Pepsi.”

Our austerity Czar, Alan R*u, even recommended that classrooms be outfitted with motion and heat sensors, to save electricity when the rooms were vacant. But unfortunately, for Professor Lino Gr***ia, the sensors failed to recognize him as a warm-blooded mammal and the lights kept shutting off in the middle of his lectures.

(I am precluded by the faculty's union contract from revealing the identities of these particular professors. However, since we are state employees, please feel free to file a Freedom of Information Act request to gain access to our private correspondence. I'll admit: I’ve been reading Professor Guy We***rn's electronic-mail for years, and I am compelled to examine them through splayed fingers, to mute my own horror! They are akin to reading the most private thoughts of some Rimbaudian Libertine recently furloughed from an island prison).

Despite these financial difficulties, however, it has always been my motto that in adversity lies opportunity. After a setback of my own a few years, during which a flock of escaped emus terrorized Fredericksburg with their unremitting wine-fueled savagery, I certainly could have taken the advice of my attorney, George D*x, and fled to Mexico. But I have never played fortune’s fool!! And I seized upon this moment to launch my own line of pre-packaged frozen Sager Farms Emu Burgers!

It is in that triumphal spirit that I launched Larry Sager’s Law Bodega. I hope you will take my hand, and, together, we can build a bridge that connects to an onramp that puts us on a highway that leads toward a brighter tomorrow!

Warmest regards,

Larry Sager

Larry Sager

Contact shop owner

Larry Sager

Googly-eyed Constitution
$25.00
Sager Coffee Cup
$30.00
Sager Tote
$30.00
SB 354 Crim Law Holster
$150.00
Rau / Bieber Collage
$45.00
Torts Clock
$150.00
Sager's Dog Bandannas - T14
$18.00
Sager's Dog Bandannas - UT Law
$18.00
Gavel w/ Cowboy & Dinosaur
$75.00
Bedazzled Dukeminier on Property
$150.00

Shop policies

Last updated on March 28, 2011

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