MelancholyGreetings

Blank Cards for Empty Lives (and All Occasions)

137 Sales

MelancholyGreetings

Blank Cards for Empty Lives (and All Occasions)

137 Sales On Etsy since 2012

5 out of 5 stars
(63)

Announcement   Welcome to my shop! I offer greeting cards, art prints, novels and comic books.

Described as "darkly funny" by coolmompicks.com, my Melancholy Greeting cards are carefully calibrated to produce a state of malaise in even the sunniest optimist.

From sullen squirrels to zonkered zombies and even lachrymose LEGO, you're sure to find a product for even the pickiest of pessimists.

Like me on Facebook to discover what's new in the Melancholy Greetings universe.

Please visit my author website to learn about my various creative endeavors:
http://www.davidsezapanta.com

Announcement

Welcome to my shop! I offer greeting cards, art prints, novels and comic books.

Described as "darkly funny" by coolmompicks.com, my Melancholy Greeting cards are carefully calibrated to produce a state of malaise in even the sunniest optimist.

From sullen squirrels to zonkered zombies and even lachrymose LEGO, you're sure to find a product for even the pickiest of pessimists.

Like me on Facebook to discover what's new in the Melancholy Greetings universe.

Please visit my author website to learn about my various creative endeavors:
http://www.davidsezapanta.com

David Zapanta

Contact shop owner

David Zapanta

Zombie Romance Art Print
US$12.00
Zombie Employee of the Month Art Print
US$12.00
Zombie Instamatic Portrait Art Print
US$12.00
View all 82 items

About

Misery Loves Company

The one question I get asked the most is whether the subjects depicted in my cards are based on real people.
The short answer is no.
But in actuality, I think the hapless individuals that comprise the bulk of Melancholy Greetings probably resemble someone you know.
Perhaps, in one of my dun-colored epiphanies, you recognize a down-on-his-luck uncle, or a rattled roommate, or a disenfranchised friend.
If so, perhaps this coincidental similarity may inspire you to share your unexpected discovery with that uncle, or that roommate, or that friend.
At the end of the day, it's important to remember that "misery loves company" is not an excuse to indulge in schadenfreude. Instead, think of it as a call to empathize.
Sending someone a greeting card won't save the world, but it's a terrific way of saying, "This folded piece of paper made me think of you."

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Shop members
  • David Zapanta

    Owner, Maker, Designer, Chief Melancholy Officer

    Ardent depression enthusiast and the scourge of optimists and necrophobes the world over. (But aside from that he's basically a nice guy who owns too many plaid shirts and still has all of his original Star Wars toys.)

Shop policies

Last updated on November 13, 2013
Thank you for your interest in my shop!
Since 2006 I have strived to create products that appeal to even the most discerning Depression Enthusiast. I like to think of every card as an existential crisis in an envelope.

Accepted payment methods

  • Accepts Etsy gift cards
Payment
Sorry, cash and personal checks are not accepted at this time.
Shipping
All items ship via USPS First Class mail (unless stated otherwise).
Please allow at least 3-5 business days for all orders placed within the U.S.
Please allow at least 5-7 business days for all orders placed outside the U.S.
Refunds and Exchanges
Please contact me directly with all queries, comments, quandaries and/or conundrums. Despite my downbeat demeanor I am more than happy to assist you.
Additional policies and FAQs
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER:
This shop contain images and/or ideas of a depressing or enervating nature.

The artist cannot assume responsibility for any subsequent funks, fugues, or general declination in fecundity resulting from viewing of said melancholy merchandise.

The artist strongly cautions idealists, optimists, and those with a frustrating tendency to be upbeat and preternaturally happy to purchase products from this shop at their own peril.