We Are NOT a Glum Lot - Funny Sobriety Cards

Los Angeles, California | 218 Sales


We Are NOT a Glum Lot - Funny Sobriety Cards

Los Angeles, California 218 Sales On Etsy since 2015

4.5 out of 5 stars (60)

Announcement   Welcome to We Are NOT a Glum Lot – where sobriety doesn’t have to be a bummer.


Last updated on Jul 4, 2016

Welcome to We Are NOT a Glum Lot – where sobriety doesn’t have to be a bummer.

Cathy F.

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Cathy F.

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We Are NOT a Glum Lot – Because sobriety shouldn’t be a bummer

I got sober in 1995 in Los Angeles, where on your sobriety anniversary they sing “Happy Birthday to You” in 4-part harmony, and no matter how tragic your share might be, you’ll always get a big round of applause when it’s over.

At all my meetings we have phone lists that show everyone’s sobriety date, so when their big day rolls around they receive a pile of cards – Dollar Store note cards, Hallmark “Happy Birthday” cards, and “Congratulations” cards from the local drug store. Very generic cards for an occasion that’s more memorable than even birth.

I really wanted to give a card that celebrated sobriety, and I wanted it to be funny. Sarcastic. A little bit snarky. With some inside humor that could only be understood by someone who has sat through a reading of Chapter 5 – How it Works more times than they will ever get lucky.

I searched high and low. You won’t find a “Congratulations on a Year Without Hangovers” card at Walmart, and the sober cards you find online or at a specialty recovery shops have flowers and rainbows and sunsets and puppies and they make me feel like I’m congratulating My Little Pony for a year off the wagon.

So I started making my own cards. The ideas came from sentences flubbed up from the Big Book. Bizarre slogans that made the rounds at meetings. And outlandish images that popped into my still-twisted mind.

I figured that I couldn’t be the only one in the rooms with a sense of humor that was borderline offensive. So I created We Are Not a Glum Lot, the oft-misquoted line found on page 132 of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous:

But we aren’t a glum lot. If newcomers could see no joy or fun in our existence, they wouldn’t want it. We absolutely insist on enjoying life.

I am eternally grateful to Alcoholics Anonymous, and credit AA for giving me the wonderful, sober life I have today. I absolutely respect the 12 Step program and have no intention of dishonoring it in any way. My humor is not for everyone. But if you’ve stumbled upon this site there’s a good chance that it’s your kind of humor as well.

– Cathy F.

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  • Cathy F.

    Owner, Creator, Designer

    I drank too much. I found Alcoholics Anonymous and stopped drinking. I lived happily ever after.

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Last updated on July 28, 2017
Welcome to We Are NOT a Glum Lot – where sobriety doesn’t have to be a bummer.

Have you been searching the ends of the earth for a sobriety card that that doesn’t look like it belongs in the Sympathy rack? Your search has ended. Celebrate a friend’s sobriety anniversary, give one to your sponsor or sponsee, or just cheer up an AA who’s trudging through some sticky muck on his road to happy destiny.

All cards are 5" x 7" folded (technically 4.61" x 7.17"), printed on heavyweight (80 lb.) cardstock with matte finish and come with white envelopes. All orders are mailed within 2 business days via USPS.

We Are NOT a Glum Lot is neither affiliated with nor endorsed by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services Inc. or the AA Grapevine Inc.

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Returns and exchanges
We want our customers to be happy campers (even if you don't camp). If you aren't satisfied for any reason, just return the cards in their original condition and we will give you a complete refund. But we really hope you're not sending them back because you relapsed.
We accept PayPal and all major credit cards. If you live in California, we have good news and bad news: the good news is you live in California. The bad new is you have to pay 7.5% sales tax.
Ships within 3 business days via USPS. This means it’s at the Post Office within 72 hours, so it should get to you within a week unless you’re out in the boondocks. Let me know if you want it sooner (within 3 days) and you can pay more for priority mail. In that case, you might consider that impatience might be one of your character defects.

Shipping cost is $1.25 for the first card and 50 cents for each additional card, but if you BUY 6 OR MORE CARDS, SHIPPING IS FREE! Etsy doesn't seem to have this option, but after your payment, I will refund your entire shipping cost.
Additional policies and FAQs
Wholesale and volume pricing available. Email us and we'll talk. Or at least talk virtually.