Zombie

Less Than Useless

Columbus, Ohio · 37 Sales

Zombie

Less Than Useless

Columbus, Ohio 37 Sales On Etsy since 2006

5 out of 5 stars
(14)

Shop owner

Zombie

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Announcement   Look at all the things!! New items coming soon.

Announcement

Last updated on May 20, 2016

Look at all the things!! New items coming soon.

Zombie

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Zombie

Cleveland Browns Purse - Handmade - Dawg Pound
$15.00
DuBarry Pattern - Dress - 1943
$17.00
Advance Pattern 4617 - Blouse - 1940s
$13.00
Stargate Resin Model - Anubis - Horizon 1994
$190.00
Advance Pattern 5025 - Dress - 1940s
$17.00
Advance Sewing Pattern 2864 - Dress - 1940s
$24.00
Stargate Resin Model - Horus - Horizon 1994
$190.00
View all 30 items

Reviews

Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
(14)
View all 14 reviews

About

Zombies & Unicorns...

I was born the son of a poor black sharecropper.

Wait. Wrong story.

I was born, I have lived through a bunch of crap, I know a little about a lot of things, I have two worthless degrees (I R smrt) and I hate working for the man. I also love coffee, WWI gas mask troop photos and European chocolate. Oh and good tacos. That brings us here.

In 2012 my little brother died from a heroin overdose. We were a lot alike. At the time he was one of the few people that encouraged me to try doing what I loved instead of what was expected. It was a tough time for me and a lot of things changed. I could insert an immensely sad story about the emotionally abusive relationship I was in, but why dwell. I have better taste now.

However, it was during those 17 years of hades dwelling that I learned I had, for the majority of my life, suffered from depression and anxiety. Go genetics! Oh yeah, I'm old. Like, I went to school with Moses old. OK, maybe not that old, but I did have to walk to school everyday, through the snow, uphill both ways, naked. In a Dallas, TX suburb. I also fought dragons or mosquitoes. I forget.

That brings us back to here. Yeah, I know I said that earlier. Welcome to non-linear thinking. So, to keep myself out of jail or from having to dig a hole in the Vegas desert, I honed my sewing abilities. Besides, sewing voodoo dolls was fun. Especially when you got to set them on fire. Fire! FIRE!! Wait, forget I said that. No, really.

Most of the totes in the shop are made from re-claimed T-shirts. That's to say I pick them up at thrift stores & turn them into something I would use. Hopefully you will too. The purses are made from odd pieces of fabric I have picked up here & there. It is doubtful that you will see more than a couple in the same pattern. You will also find bits of this and that. You, my good people, are the recipients of what I sometimes come up with.

As for zombies & unicorns, well, Mom always referred to me as a zombie when I was a kid because mornings were never my thing. Unicorns are unicorns. In my world the faeries feed them too much cotton candy & once they've pooped their final glitter rainbow they end up behind the barn. Yeah, don't ask. Really.

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Shop members

  • Karri

    Owner

    I've been sewing & doing cross stitch for as long as I can remember. My great grandmother taught me when I was fairly young. I'm not quite right, but that's what makes me awesome. Really, really awesome!

  • John

    Head Minion

    He does what I tell him. Not really. He's the other half and he makes most of the jars you see in the shop.

Shop policies

Last updated on July 27, 2013

Accepted payment methods

  • Pay with Visa
  • Pay with Master Card
  • Pay with American Express
  • Pay with Discover
  • Pay with PayPal
  • Buy with Apple Pay
  • Pay with Sofort
  • Pay with iDeal
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards
Payment
Currently I accept payment via Etsy (including Etsy gift cards) and PayPal.
Shipping
I do my best to keep the shipping as close to actual as possible. If the item is fragile, there will be $1 extra over actual shipping to cover bubble wrap.
Refunds and Exchanges
I have no issue with returns on items that are misrepresented or defective due to my own error. Each item is described as thoroughly as possible and additional photographs are always available.