Less Than Useless

Columbus, Ohio · 37 Sales


Less Than Useless

Columbus, Ohio 37 Sales On Etsy since 2006

5 out of 5 stars

Shop owner



Announcement   Look at all the things!! New items coming soon.


Last updated on May 20, 2016

Look at all the things!! New items coming soon.


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Cleveland Browns Purse - Handmade - Dawg Pound
DuBarry Pattern - Dress - 1943
Advance Pattern 4617 - Blouse - 1940s
Stargate Resin Model - Anubis - Horizon 1994
Advance Pattern 5025 - Dress - 1940s
Advance Sewing Pattern 2864 - Dress - 1940s
Stargate Resin Model - Horus - Horizon 1994
View all 30 items


Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
View all 14 reviews


Zombies & Unicorns...

I was born the son of a poor black sharecropper.

Wait. Wrong story.

I was born, I have lived through a bunch of crap, I know a little about a lot of things, I have two worthless degrees (I R smrt) and I hate working for the man. I also love coffee, WWI gas mask troop photos and European chocolate. Oh and good tacos. That brings us here.

In 2012 my little brother died from a heroin overdose. We were a lot alike. At the time he was one of the few people that encouraged me to try doing what I loved instead of what was expected. It was a tough time for me and a lot of things changed. I could insert an immensely sad story about the emotionally abusive relationship I was in, but why dwell. I have better taste now.

However, it was during those 17 years of hades dwelling that I learned I had, for the majority of my life, suffered from depression and anxiety. Go genetics! Oh yeah, I'm old. Like, I went to school with Moses old. OK, maybe not that old, but I did have to walk to school everyday, through the snow, uphill both ways, naked. In a Dallas, TX suburb. I also fought dragons or mosquitoes. I forget.

That brings us back to here. Yeah, I know I said that earlier. Welcome to non-linear thinking. So, to keep myself out of jail or from having to dig a hole in the Vegas desert, I honed my sewing abilities. Besides, sewing voodoo dolls was fun. Especially when you got to set them on fire. Fire! FIRE!! Wait, forget I said that. No, really.

Most of the totes in the shop are made from re-claimed T-shirts. That's to say I pick them up at thrift stores & turn them into something I would use. Hopefully you will too. The purses are made from odd pieces of fabric I have picked up here & there. It is doubtful that you will see more than a couple in the same pattern. You will also find bits of this and that. You, my good people, are the recipients of what I sometimes come up with.

As for zombies & unicorns, well, Mom always referred to me as a zombie when I was a kid because mornings were never my thing. Unicorns are unicorns. In my world the faeries feed them too much cotton candy & once they've pooped their final glitter rainbow they end up behind the barn. Yeah, don't ask. Really.


Shop members

  • Karri


    I've been sewing & doing cross stitch for as long as I can remember. My great grandmother taught me when I was fairly young. I'm not quite right, but that's what makes me awesome. Really, really awesome!

  • John

    Head Minion

    He does what I tell him. Not really. He's the other half and he makes most of the jars you see in the shop.

Shop policies

Last updated on July 27, 2013

Accepted payment methods

  • Pay with Visa
  • Pay with Master Card
  • Pay with American Express
  • Pay with Discover
  • Pay with PayPal
  • Buy with Apple Pay
  • Pay with Sofort
  • Pay with iDeal
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards
Currently I accept payment via Etsy (including Etsy gift cards) and PayPal.
I do my best to keep the shipping as close to actual as possible. If the item is fragile, there will be $1 extra over actual shipping to cover bubble wrap.
Refunds and Exchanges
I have no issue with returns on items that are misrepresented or defective due to my own error. Each item is described as thoroughly as possible and additional photographs are always available.