novel soaps for a BA(th) in literature

283 Sales


novel soaps for a BA(th) in literature

283 Sales On Etsy since 2010

0 out of 5 stars

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Last updated on February 5, 2011
Who knew a BA(th) in English could be so rewarding? Whether you're looking for a novel bathing experience or you're regularly awash in words, the English Major Soap Company's got you covered.

All soaps are handmade using the cold process method (and wuv), with no added chemicals or preservatives. She uses high-quality ingredients because she loves the feeling of soft, clean skin and the lusciousness of sublime scents--and she reckons you do, too. Or else you're just here for the puns. That's okay. They're pretty good puns.

We all know what books are for--killing trees. But not animals! Which is why the English Major's soaps are happily vegan, with a few (clearly labeled) milk soap exceptions.

Accepted payment methods

Returns and exchanges
Due to the personal nature of, well, your shower, the English Major cannot accept exchanges. It'd be kind of creepy if she did.

The English Major uses high-quality ingredients (and luvvv) in all of her products, and labels them thoroughly. Please read the ingredient lists of each soap before purchase to avoid allergic reaction. No Sparknotes here: unlike ENG 101, skimming could give you a rash! And nobody wants that.

(Additionally, if you're pregnant, consult your physician before using products containing essential oils.)

That said, if you're unhappy with a product you receive, please contact the English Major! She'll work with you to make it right.
The English Major accepts payment through PayPal. If payment isn't received within 48 hours and the buyer cannot be reached, the order will be (alas!) canceled.

All products shipped to NC will be charged the sales tax of their buyers' respective counties. Sorry, folks. It's the cold, iron hand of the law.
Your novel soap will be shipped within three business days (9 AM - 5 PM EST, Mon-Fri) of receipt of payment. Packages are sent via USPS First Class or Priority mail, as follows:

1 Bar ........................... $2.50 ................. 1st Class Mail
2 Bars .......................... $3.75 ................. 1st Class Mail
3-5 bars ........................ $5.00 ................ Priority Mail
5+ bars ........................ $10.70 or best rate ...... Priority Mail

PayPal will automatically add $1.25 for each additional bar, but if your order is sent in a flat rate priority mail box, excess shipping will be refunded via PayPal. (e.g. You buy five bars and shipping costs come out to $7.50--you'll be refunded $2.50.) (Questions? Contact me.)
Additional policies and FAQs
Q: I have allergies! Will your soap make me die?

The English Major doesn't smoke. You shouldn't either. Bleah. She does keep company with two Vicious Weasels (ferrets), who are not allowed near the cure racks. Concerned about other allergies? Contact the English Major and we'll see what we can do.

Q: How do I best care for my vegetable-based soap?

As clever lords n' ladies, you doubtlessly don't need tips on how to best prolong the life of your vegetable-based soap. But in case you have some unfortunate friend who does, here's a tip or two: keep your novel soap out of the direct stream of water, and let it dry somewhere nice (i.e., not a puddle) between uses. Et voila! Soapy longevity.

Q: What do you mean by "all-natural" and "vegan"?

A: So glad you asked! Let's examine these definitions.

When I describe a soap as "all-natural," what I mean is that it contains no artificial colorant, fragrance or preservatives. This means no SLS--hooray!

A good example of an all-natural soap is the Jane Eyre bar: the purple color comes from alkanet root powder, and the fragrance comes from lemon, litsea cubeba and Bulgarian lavender essential oils (derived from plants). Its sister the Wuthering Heights bar, however, is an unnatural blue (from a chemical oxide) and scented with a really nice hyacinth fragrance oil (synthetic, made in a lab).

Some soapers will label their soaps "natural" regardless of ingredients. In some cases it's dishonesty and in others it's plain ignorance. If you really want a natural, biodegradable bar, then check ingredients lists. Watch out for unnatural colors (e.g., neons), or ingredients like "apple pie essential oil" or "banana essential oil"--these oils aren't essential; they're synthetic. This doesn't mean they're bad! But if somebody tries to market a bubblegum-scented soap to you as natural, you've got a problem. (*Especially* if it's a so-called glycerin soap. These are made from melt-and-pour soap base and are very, very rarely all-natural.)

(For a complete list of essential oils, what better than that Do Not Use For Research Tool Or We'll Fail You Wikipedia? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_essential_oils) (This still isn't fail-safe; some soapers prefer synthetic versions of, say, lavender or orange fragrance. When in doubt, ask the crafter.) (And if they can't, or won't, give you a straight answer, walk away.)

Summing up: is natural better? That's for you to decide. I love my essential oils (ylang ylang and clove? it doesn't get better!), but there are also a bunch of fragrances to die for (don't tell, but Heart of Darkness' black amber musk is my fave). Also, how much fun is blue soap? SO MUCH FUN. I'm happy I live in a world where I can shower in blue.

As for vegan: all of my soaps are vegetarian (me too! hooray!), meaning they're made with vegetable-based oils and contain no animal additives (like tallow). (An example of a non-vegetarian soap is a lard-based soap--which actually makes a really wonderful, hard bar, but isn't great if you're a veggie.)

A few, however, are not vegan, and what I mean in this case is that these soaps contain milk, honey, or some other non-vegan product. Milk soaps are rich and creamy and make your skin feel great, but make vegans sad. The English Major likes vegans! Don't cry, vegans.

The complete list of non-vegan soaps at present: Pride & Prejudice (goat milk), Thumbelina (whole milk), Oliver Twist (milk powder and honey) and Ulysses (Guinness Extra Stout--Guinness is a non-vegan beer).

Q: So, does "all-natural" mean you don't use lye?

A: Of course not. You absolutely cannot make soap without using lye. If anyone tells you their soap is lye-free, they're 1) ignorant, 2) dishonest, or 3) using a premade soap base (like melt and pour), which has lye in it.

Q: Oh noez, lye! It will burn me!

A: Of course it won't! Unless your soaper did something very wrong, the chemical process in any soap should be complete by the time you buy it. This means the lye has saponified the oils and turned them into soap, leaving behind no oiliness, and no raw lye to burn you. It's pretty magical. (Actually, it's science, but I majored in Humanities, so what do I know?) This is how *all* soap is made, including the stuff you buy at the grocery store. It's not scary.

Check ingredients labels: If you don't see "lye," look for "sodium hydroxide" or "potassium hydroxide" (for liquid soap). It'll be there on any FDA-appropriate label (unless the soaper used melt and pour, in which case the label might say "soap base").

Q: Your photos are great!

That is not a question. Regardless. Many of the particularly lovely photos in this shop (such as the fabulous tea cup shot) were taken by the brilliant and talented Hannah Rose Miller. She also makes a mean lemon curd. For more of her crafty/cookery/photo goodness, check out her blog! http://rosegardenlane.blogspot.com/

Q: You are awesome!!1 Can we be friends?

A: Yeah, okay.