feltmelons
Burlington, Canada ·
feltmelons
The one and only Vaginament® vagina ornament :)Burlington, Canada 2145 Sales On Etsy since 2013
Announcement
SUPER IMPORTANT: I'll be walking the West Highland Way (www.suzymca.com) until May 5, so orders WILL NOT SHIP until shortly thereafter xo
As a thanks for your understanding, use SUZISAWAY to save 10%, no minimums <3
Current codes:
Save 10% when your order is $50USD or above (code 10OFF50USD)
Save 15% when your order is $100USD or above (code 15OFF100USD)
✈︎ USA-bound orders take 3-5 business (working) days *once shipped*, using USPS. Tracking is included, hooray! US orders ship 2x week.
✈︎ Canadian orders take 4-7 business days *once shipped*. Canada Post fees are killer, I'm sorry :/ I'll refund overages of more than $1 when I've taken your order to the post office :)
✈︎ International orders take 4-15 working days *once shipped*, DO NOT include tracking, and are not guaranteed. Any customs fees are the purchaser's responsibility.
Thoroughly unfinished media page: www.feltmelons.com/media
Cosmo, 3 times! Here's one: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8255422/vagina-christmas-tree-decoration/
George Takei's facebook post: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1743502495679196&id=205344452828349
Original Metro.co.uk article that kicked this all off: http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/21/you-can-now-decorate-your-christmas-tree-with-felt-vagina-baubles-6206855/ ----thank you, Ellen Scott xo
Scary Mommy (go for the comments alone!): www.facebook.com/thescarymommy/posts/10154424363613301
All Vaginament® ornaments are cut and sewn by hand, by me <3
I'm on ig at instagram.com/feltmelons, or instagram.com/suzymca, and of course Facebook.com/feltmelons or Facebook.com/suzymca
"Girl, you need to outsource!" Nope :) It's just me, sewing by hand in my dining room, cutting labels, packaging, keeping the Band-Aids stocked, breaking needles, errything. No machines were (or ever will be!) harmed in the making of these wee oddballeries. Bear with me while I endearingly sew each Vaginament by hand. After all, good vagina is worth the wait <3 This has been such a once in a lifetime whirlwind of viral vaginii and media excitement, thank you for understanding <3
Regarding intellectual property: Vaginament® is now a registered trademark, and the distinct design is protected by copyright laws. I am vehemently protective of my Vaginament*, with its distinct design marks ('distinguishing guise' up here in Canada) : folded inner and/or outer labia in an oval shape, bell or bead clitoris, often on a round embroidery hoop or appliqued to a teardrop-shaped mons ornament. Please do not take my vagina design without consent. If you come across copycat versions out there for sale, please send me a link so I can protect my intellectual property. I don’t profess to have invented the felt vagina ornament, just my design :)
* Dude. It's my vagina design. Of course I'm protective. In rare cases, I have to pay for a cease and desist letter. And as much as I hate a public call-out, sometimes this happens: www.notyourvagina.com, because it's often more effective (and cheaper!) than involving legal. If you don't want to be called out on social media, don't try and pass off my design as your own.
Announcement
SUPER IMPORTANT: I'll be walking the West Highland Way (www.suzymca.com) until May 5, so orders WILL NOT SHIP until shortly thereafter xo
As a thanks for your understanding, use SUZISAWAY to save 10%, no minimums <3
Current codes:
Save 10% when your order is $50USD or above (code 10OFF50USD)
Save 15% when your order is $100USD or above (code 15OFF100USD)
✈︎ USA-bound orders take 3-5 business (working) days *once shipped*, using USPS. Tracking is included, hooray! US orders ship 2x week.
✈︎ Canadian orders take 4-7 business days *once shipped*. Canada Post fees are killer, I'm sorry :/ I'll refund overages of more than $1 when I've taken your order to the post office :)
✈︎ International orders take 4-15 working days *once shipped*, DO NOT include tracking, and are not guaranteed. Any customs fees are the purchaser's responsibility.
Thoroughly unfinished media page: www.feltmelons.com/media
Cosmo, 3 times! Here's one: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8255422/vagina-christmas-tree-decoration/
George Takei's facebook post: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1743502495679196&id=205344452828349
Original Metro.co.uk article that kicked this all off: http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/21/you-can-now-decorate-your-christmas-tree-with-felt-vagina-baubles-6206855/ ----thank you, Ellen Scott xo
Scary Mommy (go for the comments alone!): www.facebook.com/thescarymommy/posts/10154424363613301
All Vaginament® ornaments are cut and sewn by hand, by me <3
I'm on ig at instagram.com/feltmelons, or instagram.com/suzymca, and of course Facebook.com/feltmelons or Facebook.com/suzymca
"Girl, you need to outsource!" Nope :) It's just me, sewing by hand in my dining room, cutting labels, packaging, keeping the Band-Aids stocked, breaking needles, errything. No machines were (or ever will be!) harmed in the making of these wee oddballeries. Bear with me while I endearingly sew each Vaginament by hand. After all, good vagina is worth the wait <3 This has been such a once in a lifetime whirlwind of viral vaginii and media excitement, thank you for understanding <3
Regarding intellectual property: Vaginament® is now a registered trademark, and the distinct design is protected by copyright laws. I am vehemently protective of my Vaginament*, with its distinct design marks ('distinguishing guise' up here in Canada) : folded inner and/or outer labia in an oval shape, bell or bead clitoris, often on a round embroidery hoop or appliqued to a teardrop-shaped mons ornament. Please do not take my vagina design without consent. If you come across copycat versions out there for sale, please send me a link so I can protect my intellectual property. I don’t profess to have invented the felt vagina ornament, just my design :)
* Dude. It's my vagina design. Of course I'm protective. In rare cases, I have to pay for a cease and desist letter. And as much as I hate a public call-out, sometimes this happens: www.notyourvagina.com, because it's often more effective (and cheaper!) than involving legal. If you don't want to be called out on social media, don't try and pass off my design as your own.
Reviews
Sarah Turner on Apr 23, 2018
Amazing! Arrived quickly to the UK and has been admired by all my friends. I can’t wait for Christmas! 🎄
ladyailish on Mar 26, 2018
So amazing - I love my AMAZING yoni! Can not wait to buy many more!!
Updates
About
Eeep! These are always the hardest pages :O
Let's see: I'm a mother to two tow-headed wee girls, and a dog named Haggis.
I'm married to a Scottish fellow: he's very calm, I'm very excitable, there's a good balance going on. We met at the local pub, but soberly :)
We live downtown Burlington, Ontario, Canada, where we can walk to the lake, shops, pub, the kids' school, cafes...it's idyllic. I was born and raised here, and hope never to leave.
My main shop on etsy is vaginament.etsy.com, and I actively opened feltmelons in January of 2015 as a place to sell other handmade goods 😂
I also bake gluten-free vegan treats for the locals at www.sweetsillyyak.com.
These hands of mine are best kept busy :)
Cheers, Suzanne.
www.suzymca.com
(My primary and original Etsy profile can be found here: https://www.etsy.com/ca/people/SuzyMcA)
Shop members
-
Suzanne McAleenan
Owner
Shop policies
Orders will ship within 2-4 business (working) days, Monday-Friday
☆ ESTIMATED TRANSIT TIMES ☆
★Canada, via Canada Post with tracking, 3-7 business days *once shipped*
★USA, via USPS with tracking, 3-7 business days *once shipped*
★UK, via Canada Post, 4-7 business days *once shipped*
★International, via Canada Post, 6-20 business days *once shipped*, not guaranteed or tracked. Please contact me if your order hasn't arrived after 20 business (working) days :( I'll send you a PDF affidavit to 'e-sign' and return to me, this will be your declaration that your order hasn't arrived. I can then file a claim with Canada Post and refund in full :)
☆ LOCAL PICK-UP ☆
This can be arranged, please message me prior to placing your order :)
★ Questions? Message me through Etsy if you're a member, or feel free to email me at suzymca at gmail.com. Messages are replied to Monday-Friday.
☆ Gifts are awesome! ☆
If you mark the item as a gift, and do not include a note, the order will be shipped with a simple note that says "Suprise! xoxo"
If you include a note, I'll write exactly what is included. If you don't leave a name or a salutation, I won't either :)
☆ "This item is a gift" ☆
Marking the item as a 'gift' at checkout doesn't mean the $ value won't be put on the customs form, if the order is leaving North America.
♛ My home is smoke-free, but there is a non-shedding Silky Terrier named Haggis constantly at my feet. I’m chronically allergic to dogs and cats, but not Haggis :)
Accepted payment methods
- Accepts Etsy Gift Cards and Etsy Credits
Returns and exchanges
- Custom or personalized orders
- Perishable products (like food or flowers)
- Digital downloads
- Intimate items (for health/hygiene reasons)
☆ EXCHANGES ☆ Let me know within 7 business days of receiving your order if you'd like to exchange an item. Please ensure that the item is returned in the same condition in which it was sent. You will be responsible for the shipping fees to return the item, and the shipping fees for me to send you a new one in exchange. I don't want you to be unhappy with your order: please ask any questions, no matter how menial you think they might be, in order to make an informed purchase prior to payment :)
All sales will be considered final after 21 days of you having received your order.
Shipping
☆ SHIPPING ADDRESSES ☆ I will ship to the shipping address associated with your ETSY account, or another address that you request in the Note to Felt Melons message box in the cart.
☆ CUSTOMS ☆ All orders *outside of North America* will have the value declared on customs forms. The customer is responsible for all duties and/or import fees associated with the destination country.
Additional policies and FAQs
More information
Frequently asked questions
Wholesale availability
I currently do not offer wholesale. If you're looking to place a bulk order on behalf of a group, shipping to one address, please message me prior with approximate quantities and a location, and I can give you a bulk order quote including shipping :)