feltmelons

The one and only Vaginament® vagina ornament :)

Burlington, Canada 3292 Sales On Etsy since 2013

5 out of 5 stars (566)

feltmelons

The one and only Vaginament® vagina ornament :)

Burlington, Canada | 3292 Sales

All Items

Suzanne McAleenan

Contact shop owner

Suzanne McAleenan

Announcement    💋 Madge the Vag and Mrs. Jingles! https://www.scarymommy.com/the-2019-madge-the-vag-holiday-gift-guide/ 💋

Nov 29 update: I'm sewing as fast as I can, and if you see it listed, it's ready to ship within a couple of days. This current stock tends to sell out by early December. Then, I start sewing like a madwoman and production times become long, as I spend time with my family in December. She who hesitates, masturbates! You won't see prices drop, so just order xo

☆ SHIPPING Orders placed at www.feltmelons.etsy.com currently ship within 2 working days, unless noted in individual listings ☆ If you would like your order expedited, please message me your Need-By date and location (country and zip/postal code) prior to purchase, to see what can be done to get you your Vaginament on the double!

☆ Custom orders are CLOSED until end of January, 2020. What you see online is what I've got in stock :) ☆

Customs and import taxes  Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply, though this is rare. I am not responsible for delays due to customs, please allow for time in transit during the holiday season. 

USA: Orders are shipped via USPS, and generally take between 3-5 working days to arrive, once shipped. A courier service takes them across the border to the closest USPS depot and all USPS orders have a tracking number, which will be emailed to you once shipped. There are no customs delays or fees.

CANADA: Orders are shipped via ChitChats.com + Canada Post, and generally take between 2-6 working days to arrive, once shipped. All ChitChats orders have a tracking number, which will be emailed to you once shipped. 

UNITED KINGDOM: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 7-12 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. UK-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 5 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs during the Holiday season and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order).

AUSTRALIA: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 8-16 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Australia-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 5 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs during the Holiday season and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :) 

EUROPE: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 8-15 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Europe-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 5 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs during the Holiday season and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :) 

INTERNATIONAL: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 8-21 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Most orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 5 ornaments in one shipment may risk getting held up in customs during the Holiday season and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :)


📸 @feltmelons, fb.com/feltmelons

I do not offer licensing for resale or trademark use, any patterns or ornaments found for sale will be illegal and made without license. Please respect originality and creativity by purchasing any art from it's original source ♥️ Vaginament brand ornaments are only available here on Etsy and at my BigCartel shop, www.feltmelons.bigcartel.com✌️

Vagina exposure:
Cosmo, 3 times! Here's one: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8255422/vagina-christmas-tree-decoration/

George Takei's facebook post: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1743502495679196&id=205344452828349

Original Metro.co.uk article that gave me a viral Vaginament 😂 http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/21/you-can-now-decorate-your-christmas-tree-with-felt-vagina-baubles-6206855/ ----thank you, Ellen Scott xo

Scary Mommy (go for the comments alone!): www.facebook.com/thescarymommy/posts/10154424363613301

All Vaginament® ornaments are cut and sewn by hand, by me <3

No machines were (or ever will be!) harmed in the making of these wee oddballeries. Bear with me while I endearingly sew each Vaginament by hand. After all, good vagina is worth the wait <3

Regarding intellectual property: Vaginament® is a registered trademark with the USPTO, and the design is registered with the US Copyright Office. I am vehemently protective of my Vaginament, with its distinct design marks. Please do not take my vagina design without consent- create your own fabulous design <3

Respect creativity so the world doesn't get boring xo

Announcement

Last updated on Nov 29, 2019

💋 Madge the Vag and Mrs. Jingles! https://www.scarymommy.com/the-2019-madge-the-vag-holiday-gift-guide/ 💋

Nov 29 update: I'm sewing as fast as I can, and if you see it listed, it's ready to ship within a couple of days. This current stock tends to sell out by early December. Then, I start sewing like a madwoman and production times become long, as I spend time with my family in December. She who hesitates, masturbates! You won't see prices drop, so just order xo

☆ SHIPPING Orders placed at www.feltmelons.etsy.com currently ship within 2 working days, unless noted in individual listings ☆ If you would like your order expedited, please message me your Need-By date and location (country and zip/postal code) prior to purchase, to see what can be done to get you your Vaginament on the double!

☆ Custom orders are CLOSED until end of January, 2020. What you see online is what I've got in stock :) ☆

Customs and import taxes  Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply, though this is rare. I am not responsible for delays due to customs, please allow for time in transit during the holiday season. 

USA: Orders are shipped via USPS, and generally take between 3-5 working days to arrive, once shipped. A courier service takes them across the border to the closest USPS depot and all USPS orders have a tracking number, which will be emailed to you once shipped. There are no customs delays or fees.

CANADA: Orders are shipped via ChitChats.com + Canada Post, and generally take between 2-6 working days to arrive, once shipped. All ChitChats orders have a tracking number, which will be emailed to you once shipped. 

UNITED KINGDOM: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 7-12 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. UK-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 5 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs during the Holiday season and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order).

AUSTRALIA: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 8-16 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Australia-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 5 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs during the Holiday season and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :) 

EUROPE: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 8-15 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Europe-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 5 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs during the Holiday season and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :) 

INTERNATIONAL: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 8-21 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Most orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 5 ornaments in one shipment may risk getting held up in customs during the Holiday season and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :)


📸 @feltmelons, fb.com/feltmelons

I do not offer licensing for resale or trademark use, any patterns or ornaments found for sale will be illegal and made without license. Please respect originality and creativity by purchasing any art from it's original source ♥️ Vaginament brand ornaments are only available here on Etsy and at my BigCartel shop, www.feltmelons.bigcartel.com✌️

Vagina exposure:
Cosmo, 3 times! Here's one: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/a8255422/vagina-christmas-tree-decoration/

George Takei's facebook post: https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1743502495679196&id=205344452828349

Original Metro.co.uk article that gave me a viral Vaginament 😂 http://metro.co.uk/2016/10/21/you-can-now-decorate-your-christmas-tree-with-felt-vagina-baubles-6206855/ ----thank you, Ellen Scott xo

Scary Mommy (go for the comments alone!): www.facebook.com/thescarymommy/posts/10154424363613301

All Vaginament® ornaments are cut and sewn by hand, by me <3

No machines were (or ever will be!) harmed in the making of these wee oddballeries. Bear with me while I endearingly sew each Vaginament by hand. After all, good vagina is worth the wait <3

Regarding intellectual property: Vaginament® is a registered trademark with the USPTO, and the design is registered with the US Copyright Office. I am vehemently protective of my Vaginament, with its distinct design marks. Please do not take my vagina design without consent- create your own fabulous design <3

Respect creativity so the world doesn't get boring xo

Reviews

Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
(566)
See reviews that mention:
quality 89 shipping 73 customer service 71

About feltmelons

Sales 3,292
On Etsy since 2013

Eeep! These are always the hardest pages :O

Let's see: I'm a mother to two tow-headed wee girls, and a dog named Haggis.
I'm married to a Scottish import: he's very calm, I'm very excitable, there's a good balance going on. We met at the local pub, but soberly :)
We live downtown Burlington, Ontario, Canada, where we can walk to the lake, shops, pub, the kids' school, cafes...it's idyllic. I was born and raised here, and hope never to leave.
My old shop on etsy is vaginament.etsy.com, and I actively opened feltmelons in January of 2015 as my main point of sale. I also have a bigcartel, at feltmelons.bigcartel.com, but right now it's void of product. The media page there is quite interesting though, my vagina has had loads of exposure 😂

Cheers, Suzanne.
instagram.com/feltmelons
instagram.com/suzymca
facebook.com/feltmelons

(My primary and original Etsy profile can be found here: https://www.etsy.com/ca/people/SuzyMcA)

Shop members

  • Suzanne McAleenan

    Owner

Shop policies

More information

Last updated on Dec 5, 2018
Frequently asked questions
Wholesale availability

Because of their handmade nature and the physical labour involved, I do not offer wholesale per sé, as each one takes the same amount of time to create...no machines or mass production here :) But if you're looking to place a bulk order on behalf of a group, shipping to one address, please message me prior with approximate quantities, a geographical location, and a need-by date, and I can give you a bulk order quote including shipping :) Generally the bulk price would be 10-25% off retail, depending on style and quantity. Cheers!

Marking your order as a "gift"

You're awesome, gifting a Vaginament. Please make sure to use the recipient's address as your ship-to, and include a note, so they know who it's from!