feltmelons

The one and only Vaginament® vagina ornament :)

Burlington, Canada
3,776 Sales | 5 out of 5 stars

Top shop for gifts.

Buyers bought gifts from this shop and gave them 5-star reviews!

Announcement    Free shipping in Canada for orders over $75USD: use FREECANADA, exp Nov 30 2021
Free shipping in USA for orders over $50USD: use FREEBIRD, exp Nov 30 2021

What you see is what I've got, I add more as I finish them 🙌🏻

Anything you see listed is ready to ship, and I ship every couple of business days :) If you need your order in the Post ASAP, leave me a note with your order and I can bill you an additional $4. This additional charge is what I am charged by the courier service, who take my orders across the border to USPS and Asendia. (And it helps cover gas moneyzzzz)

Note: this will be my last Christmas sewing Vaginament ornaments and keychains :( See my instagram or facebook for details - it's sad for me, but happy for our family 🍍

Shipping:
Once it's in the postal system, please keep an eye on the tracking number ♥️ Your order isn't guaranteed to arrive by any date at this point in the pandemic, however if it's lost in the post or never arrives, I got you, boo! I always refund lost or missing orders in full, but I cannot do that until the relevant shipping company (USPS, Canada Post, Asendia) has declared it missing, and that takes about 30 days in a *non pandemic* world :( Please be patient, it will arrive, most likely on time...and if it doesn't, I always make it right :)

Average shipping times during a *normal* year:
USA - 3-5 calendar days, once shipped.
Canadian - 6-12 calendar days, depending on location!
OUTSIDE OF NORTH AMERICA: Asendia 7 working days up to to 25 working days, depending on location.

💋 Madge the Vag and her Vaginament! https://www.scarymommy.com/the-2019-madge-the-vag-holiday-gift-guide/ 💋 Loads of other media links over at feltmelons.com!

Customs and import taxes: Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply, though this is rare. I am not responsible for delays due to customs, please allow for time in transit during the holiday season. 

USA: Orders are shipped via USPS, and generally take between 3-5 working days to arrive, once shipped. A courier service takes them across the border to the closest USPS depot and all USPS orders have a tracking number, which will be emailed to you once shipped. There will be no customs delays or fees.

CANADA: Orders are shipped via ChitChats.com (by way of Canada Post), and generally take between 10 working days to arrive, once shipped. All ChitChats orders have a tracking number, which will be emailed to you once shipped. 

UNITED KINGDOM: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 6-12 working days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. UK-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 4 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order).

AUSTRALIA: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 8-16 working days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Australia-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 4 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :) 

EUROPE: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 7-15 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Europe-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 4 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :) 

INTERNATIONAL: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 7-21 working days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Most orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 4 ornaments in one shipment may risk getting held up in customs and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :)

📸 @feltmelons, fb.com/feltmelons

I do not offer licensing for resale or trademark use, and any patterns or ornaments found for sale will be illegal and made without license. Please respect originality and creativity by purchasing any art from it's original source, it's not #girlpower if you're stealing ♥️ Vaginament brand ornaments are only available here on Etsy ✌️

All Vaginament® ornaments are cut and sewn by hand, by me <3
No machines were (or ever will be!) harmed in the making of these wee oddballeries. Bear with me while I endearingly sew each Vaginament by hand. After all, good vagina is worth the wait <3

Regarding intellectual property: Vaginament® is a registered trademark with the USPTO, and the design is registered with the US Copyright Office. I am vehemently protective of my Vaginament, with its distinct design marks. Please do not take my vagina design without consent- create your own fabulous design <3

Respect creativity so the world doesn't get boring xo

Announcement

Last updated on Aug 21, 2021

Free shipping in Canada for orders over $75USD: use FREECANADA, exp Nov 30 2021
Free shipping in USA for orders over $50USD: use FREEBIRD, exp Nov 30 2021

What you see is what I've got, I add more as I finish them 🙌🏻

Anything you see listed is ready to ship, and I ship every couple of business days :) If you need your order in the Post ASAP, leave me a note with your order and I can bill you an additional $4. This additional charge is what I am charged by the courier service, who take my orders across the border to USPS and Asendia. (And it helps cover gas moneyzzzz)

Note: this will be my last Christmas sewing Vaginament ornaments and keychains :( See my instagram or facebook for details - it's sad for me, but happy for our family 🍍

Shipping:
Once it's in the postal system, please keep an eye on the tracking number ♥️ Your order isn't guaranteed to arrive by any date at this point in the pandemic, however if it's lost in the post or never arrives, I got you, boo! I always refund lost or missing orders in full, but I cannot do that until the relevant shipping company (USPS, Canada Post, Asendia) has declared it missing, and that takes about 30 days in a *non pandemic* world :( Please be patient, it will arrive, most likely on time...and if it doesn't, I always make it right :)

Average shipping times during a *normal* year:
USA - 3-5 calendar days, once shipped.
Canadian - 6-12 calendar days, depending on location!
OUTSIDE OF NORTH AMERICA: Asendia 7 working days up to to 25 working days, depending on location.

💋 Madge the Vag and her Vaginament! https://www.scarymommy.com/the-2019-madge-the-vag-holiday-gift-guide/ 💋 Loads of other media links over at feltmelons.com!

Customs and import taxes: Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply, though this is rare. I am not responsible for delays due to customs, please allow for time in transit during the holiday season. 

USA: Orders are shipped via USPS, and generally take between 3-5 working days to arrive, once shipped. A courier service takes them across the border to the closest USPS depot and all USPS orders have a tracking number, which will be emailed to you once shipped. There will be no customs delays or fees.

CANADA: Orders are shipped via ChitChats.com (by way of Canada Post), and generally take between 10 working days to arrive, once shipped. All ChitChats orders have a tracking number, which will be emailed to you once shipped. 

UNITED KINGDOM: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 6-12 working days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. UK-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 4 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order).

AUSTRALIA: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 8-16 working days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Australia-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 4 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs and and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :) 

EUROPE: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 7-15 days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Europe-bound orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 4 ornaments in one shipment risk getting held up in customs and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :) 

INTERNATIONAL: Orders are shipped via Asendia Air (a division of La Poste and Swiss Post) and generally take between 7-21 working days to arrive, once shipped. All Asendia orders have a tracking number and are guaranteed to arrive within 21 working days once shipped. Most orders generally don't incur customs fees, though if they do, the purchaser is responsible for these fees. Orders of more than 4 ornaments in one shipment may risk getting held up in customs and may take longer to arrive (if you'd like your order split into smaller parcels, please place a separate order). If you are concerned if your order might incur a customs fee, please message me first for an estimate :)

📸 @feltmelons, fb.com/feltmelons

I do not offer licensing for resale or trademark use, and any patterns or ornaments found for sale will be illegal and made without license. Please respect originality and creativity by purchasing any art from it's original source, it's not #girlpower if you're stealing ♥️ Vaginament brand ornaments are only available here on Etsy ✌️

All Vaginament® ornaments are cut and sewn by hand, by me <3
No machines were (or ever will be!) harmed in the making of these wee oddballeries. Bear with me while I endearingly sew each Vaginament by hand. After all, good vagina is worth the wait <3

Regarding intellectual property: Vaginament® is a registered trademark with the USPTO, and the design is registered with the US Copyright Office. I am vehemently protective of my Vaginament, with its distinct design marks. Please do not take my vagina design without consent- create your own fabulous design <3

Respect creativity so the world doesn't get boring xo

Items

3776 Sales
 

All Items

Suzanne McAleenan

Contact shop owner

Suzanne McAleenan

Reviews

Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
(666)
See reviews that mention:
Quality 114 Shipping 89 Customer service 77

About feltmelons

Sales 3,776
On Etsy since 2013

Eeep! These are always the hardest pages :O

Let's see: I'm a mother to two tow-headed wee girls, and a dog named Haggis.
I'm married to a Scottish import: he's very calm, I'm very excitable, there's a good balance going on. We met at the local pub, but soberly :)
We live downtown Burlington, Ontario, Canada, where we can walk to the lake, shops, pub, the kids' school, cafes...it's idyllic. I was born and raised here, and hope never to leave.
My old shop on etsy is vaginament.etsy.com, and I actively opened feltmelons in January of 2015 as my main point of sale. I also have a bigcartel, at feltmelons.bigcartel.com, but right now it's void of product. The media page there is quite interesting though, my vagina has had loads of exposure 😂

Cheers, Suzanne.
instagram.com/feltmelons
instagram.com/suzymca
facebook.com/feltmelons

(My primary and original Etsy profile can be found here: https://www.etsy.com/ca/people/SuzyMcA)

Shop members

  • Suzanne McAleenan

    Owner

Shop policies

More information

Last updated on Dec 5, 2018
Frequently asked questions
Wholesale availability

Because of their handmade nature and the physical labour involved, I do not offer wholesale per sé, as each one takes the same amount of time to create...no machines or mass production here :) But if you're looking to place a bulk order on behalf of a group, shipping to one address, please message me prior with approximate quantities, a geographical location, and a need-by date, and I can give you a bulk order quote including shipping :) Generally the bulk price would be 10-25% off retail, depending on style and quantity. Cheers!

Marking your order as a "gift"

You're awesome, gifting a Vaginament. Please make sure to use the recipient's address as your ship-to, and include a note, so they know who it's from!