Charmain026 on Jul 2, 2016
Thanks for the wonderful tutorial
Kimberly Thacker on Jun 27, 2016
Thank you so much
My baby died too...
I know why you are here. I get it.
I am so sorry.
This Etsy store is not a business. I am not in this to make a profit off of your loss. I sculpt for both us; for you and for me. I would like this shop to be seen as a service and not a business. You are not here because all is well...and you know what? Neither am I.
It wasn't until a few months after my daughter's death that I realized that it was really the end. The end of getting up early, the end of cutting her food, the end of picking up scattered toys and books, the end of hugs and snuggles...the end of pictures, the end of memories, it's done. My fog lifted and the reality of my new life hit me like a Volvo falling from a 5 story building. The fog lifted, my new life buzzing on around me and I wasn't ready. How does a mother just move on and live without her child? She was my everything and in the span of an afternoon's nap she was gone. Gone.
It's been 15 years. A decade and a half, and when I think about all of the time that passed between then and now it feels more like I'm trying to recall a dream then remember my actual life. It's a weird place to live if you actually sit and think about it, and I don't honestly think I live there unless I'm actually thinking about it, but it's still very much a part of this process. It's a life long process.
The first time that I went out and attempted to do something normal , i.e. shopping downtown, I remember this big feeling cloaking me like a wool blanket. It was heavy and pervasive. I needed something physical. I needed to buy her something. The logical side of my brain told me that I was being foolish because she's dead and doesn't need anything, but my soul craved it. So I looked. I looked not really knowing what I was looking for but trusting that if/when I saw it that I would know. It was a pair of shoes. Oh, she loved shoes. They were red, ruby red, Mary Janes and they were loaded with glitter. Oh they were ugly but boy she would have loved them. I put the shoe box with the ruby red slippers in my closet and I felt better.
I haven't bought much over the years, but I have done it and it does help for awhile. It's like putting a bandaid on. There is an instant comfort in knowing that it's there. It's protecting your vulnerable wound. It makes it okay for a bit, but with time and as the waves of grief crash over your body it's hold loosens and eventually it washes away. It will always be special and maybe if it's rediscovered it will help, but that's not always the case.
With that, I'm sorry that you are looking for something to memorialize your baby and keep your memories safe instead of buying a going home outfit or a handmade toy. I know that your heart aches and that your mind swirls, and that those around you want nothing more then to help ease the heaviness of your grief. You must know that you are not alone, but boy I know that it feels like it. The short fuse, the unexpected break downs, the questioning is all normal. Normal? Can you believe it? The definition of the word itself, 'Normal', has a whole new meaning. Nobody signs up for this. We are all a drafted army of mother's who are fighting to survive an unimaginable loss. Our eyes and noses barely above the waterline as we tread through the currents, banded together because we want to fight for our children, for their memories, and most importantly for ourselves. If we wither away who will remember them for us? Who will light the candle or release the balloon on their birthday? Can we trust that to anyone else? No. So we live. We tread for awhile, then we crawl, and as our strength grows we stand. Once standing moving forward becomes easier, and it really doesn't hurt as much. The aches and longings will forever be threaded throughout our bodies and our love and power will reside there. To quote Ernest Hemingway: "We're stronger in the places that we've been broken".
I'm a mother. A artist. A gardener. An introvert. A lover of coffee and of souls. I'm a social worker and mother by day and my art happens when called upon.
I know that your world has just been turned upside down and flipped inside out.
I too have lost a child. Her name was Madison and she was 16 months old when she died.
I sculpt these babies for you, and I sculpt them for me. This is my therapy. This is not my day job or how I support my family, this is how I deal with living my life without my daughter. We all do our own things to survive, and this is one of the things that I do.
I'm putting this as my Welcome Message because it's an important thing for you to know. I have been sculpting for 10 years and throughout that time I have been reprimanded for times when I don't respond quick enough to my emails, or convos, or because an item didn't ship on the day that it was intended to. Reprimanded, threatened and bullied. I've closed this shop because of it. It's awful and it makes me bitter.
I need it to be known that these babies are a hobby and an outlet, not a profession or a career. There is no way that I could sculpt for a living because I would burn out. I would burn out and then I would be doing it for all of the wrong reasons. I would be sculpting for a paycheck and that it not what these babies are about.
I sculpt because it sings with my soul. I have been trusted with the memories of 100's of angels. Each family has had to take that terrifying step to reach out, share their story of devistation, and confirm that this is what they want to do. It's not easy. There is fear in trusting your most precious photographs, and memories to a complete stranger in an effort them to create a sculpture in your baby's likeness. I've been on the other side of the coin and came away very disappointed. I don't want to disappoint anyone. Broken hearts and souls, not again, it's too much to bare.
So when I'm called out because of my lag time, I retreat. I question if what I do is actually worth doing? There is a whole internal monologue that runs through my head and in the end I've always let it go, and kept plugging forward.
Today, I had a bit of an a-ha moment that this Etsy store is not a traditional store. I'm offering a service. Yes, there is a price tag but that cost is to cover my expenses. When I started sculpting, 10 years ago, I didn't charge for my work but instead asked for donations. It was my hope that those who could pay, would, and those who couldn't would be balanced by a more generous donation. In the end only a few people actually donated. Most people just took. They took and they were mean, rude, and abrasive, and when I didn't have their sculpture completed they called me names and told me that I should be ashamed of myself. I took a year off when this happened. I ignored everything. I stopped sculpting, but my soul never stopped longing for my clay. When I came back I decided that I would put a price tag on my work. I did this not to make money, but to keep people honest, nice and to allow the project to pay for itself. Because up until that point everything was coming out of my family budget.
I'm putting this out here because it's happening again and instead of running away and letting a few bad apples ruin it for you and for me I'm putting the real stuff out there. I am one person. I cannot hire someone to help me. I'm also a divorced, single, mom of 3 very busy kiddo's. I'm also running my house solo. I also work full time as a medical social worker 40 hours a week. I sculpt in my free time. My very limited free time. That is why there is a long wait for my work. That is why I'm not quick in responding to questions and email; I'm balancing life and art. It's hard and I'm doing my very best.
I ask that if you are wholeheartedly interested in obtaining a sculpture from me to please be patient. I will get to you. I'm not ignoring you. I promise. And in the end I hope that the wait was worth it.
There are other artist out there that do exactly what I do and may be more efficient and timely. You are not required to buy from me, but if you do I appreciate that you understand that there is a person, a story, and a process behind the art that you are about to receive.
Peace to you.
Accepted payment methods
- Accepts Etsy gift cards
Layaway plans are available upon request.
I am not responsible for delays within the post office and do not offer refunds on shipping. We are not responsible for delays within the post office and do not offer refunds on shipping .
Items are shipped via USPS First Class, which can takes 2-5 days within the US, and 12-30+ days internationally. I have no control over how long the package may be held up in customs. This is an estimate and parcels often arrive sooner than the estimated shipping time.
All pieces have a processing time please look in the listing shop or contact me for current accurate times. Everything is custom made. I do aim to ship faster but this varies during holidays and busy periods. Contact me with any questions regarding shipping time.