Nihilist Dark Humor and Funny Greeting Cards by nihilistcardsltd

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princess who started a successful online business selling purses she made out of recycled starshmucks cups and twine and used targeted facebook ads and worked on the side and she made a million dollars and moved to Boulder, CO where she lives happily with her partners in a sweet community condo with a compost pile.

This is not the story of nihilistcards.com. The founding of this here website was much different, and it goes something like this...

Once upon a time, and that time is right now, I decided that I have issues with authority and also money and giving too many fucks.

Real life: I'm a self proclaimed snarky asshole - but I care about people more than I should. Boring, right? I manage a costume store and work as a magician. Essentially I mislead and lie to people for cheap entertainment by night, and by day I deal with the general public, helping them dress like bananas or do zombie makeup. It's not a bad gig. It's fun. But I live in Denver where shit's 'spensive as hell and things like health insurance don't come with the territory of entertainment. Also, I listen to a shit ton of black metal and love dark humor.

Then I had a great idea - start another business where the margin is shitty but at least I love what I do. Because I'm an idiot. But, a passionate idiot. Without health insurance, still, but whatever. We're all going to die anyway.

So I drew some cartoon figures after spending hours figuring out photoshop, scraped together the last of my savings and spent many nights reading about ecommerce and advertising and drinking vodka and doubting myself and arguing with the Department of Revenue and convincing myself that nihilist memes were "research."

Let's see how this goes. On the bright side, if I fail, it doesn't really matter anyway. Nothing matters. (I'll probably cry though.)

Thanks.

~ Chelsea

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Magical Birthday Magic Isn't Real Magician Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Cute Old Gift Envelope Joke Novelty

Might as Well Spec on a Spec Insignificant So, Anal? Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Joke Novelty Lover Friend Anniversary

I Will Always Love You Unless You Fuck It Up Conditional Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Romantic Cute Gift Joke Novelty

Apology Request: I'm Sorry is What You Should Say to Me Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Joke Novelty Angry Lover Friend

Here's a List of Reasons Why You Are Special Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Prank Gift Joke Novelty Lover Friend Birthday

You're One in a Million Actually 7.5 Billion Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Prank Gift Joke Novelty Lover Friend Birthday

Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder of Hardcore Pornography Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Sex Worker Gift Joke Novelty

Love You Like a Fat Kid Loves Cake Unhealthy Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Romantic Cute Gift Joke Novelty

It's What's on the Inside that Matters FULLY REVERSIBLE Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Prank Gift Joke Novelty Birthday

Slippery Slope Greeting Card One Tequila Two Three Unwanted Pregnancy Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Joke Novelty Friend Drinking

Divorce Can Be Rough Greeting Card Bright Side Drinking Alcohol Beer Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Cute Old Gift Envelope Joke Novelty

Thanks For Letting Me Nail You Greeting Card Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Sex Worker Girlfriend Anniversary Nail Tech Construction Worker NSFW

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Put the Toilet Seat Down Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Threat Joke Novelty Lover Friend

Fuck Off Seriously Greeting Card Anger Stalkers Exes Enemy Prank Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Cute Gift Envelope Joke Novelty

Sad Birthday Let's Be Real Greeting Card Nihilism Dark Humor Funny Sarcastic Cute Sad Drinking Alcoholic Gift Envelope Joke Novelty

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