noncomposcards

Hi, You've Reached the Anti-Hallmark.

| 5,455 Sales | 5 out of 5 stars 5 out of 5 stars

Smooth shipping

Has a history of shipping on time with tracking.

Rave reviews

Average review rating is 4.8 or higher

Announcement    ***Hello! Recently we have had to raise the prices for international shipping in order to ensure that tracking is included. We tried to accommodate our overseas customers by offering the lowest rate we could manage but with that came no way to actually track the package, lost and/or majorly delayed items, and a lot of refunds and unhappy people. I do hope you understand, and if you still want to order a card but want to take a chance with cheaper postage and no tracking, just send me a convo before ordering but please understand that I will not be offering refunds if the item gets lost. I’m very sorry! We love our international customers and this was a hard decision but the right one - I just want everyone to get their items!

Please also note for US customers that USPS has been experiencing major delays. We do our best to get all orders shipped as soon as possible, and all sales made within the US come with tracking info, but once the cards leave our hands we can not guarantee when the cards will arrive to their destination. I’ve been experiencing the same frustrations as a buyer, as well, so I get it! Please be patient with us, we want everyone to get their cards as fast as possible and to be happy!***


Welcome to my dark corner of the holiday card market. Here you will find creepy, offensive, and oddly original options for your card giving needs.

Every card in the shop is constantly being replenished, so if there is anything you want a larger quantity of, simply send me a convo.

A lot of my cards are seasonal, so stop back around Christmas and Valentines Day for porn-y and serial killer goodness.

****
I ship everything USPS First Class; if there is the rare circumstance preventing me from mailing it right away, I will contact you immediately with a status update. All domestic orders will have a tracking number attached to it, which you will receive via email. If you would like to upgrade shipping to Priority or better, please convo me and I will adjust the shipping fee on the item(s) you want accordingly. International orders do not come with tracking due to the high cost, but please let me know if you want to upgrade!

I am not responsible for items once they are handed over to the United States Postal Service, but if you haven't received your order within a week, please let me know -- I do not like unhappy customers, and I know how it feels to be on that end of a transaction!

Announcement

Last updated on Jan 11, 2022

***Hello! Recently we have had to raise the prices for international shipping in order to ensure that tracking is included. We tried to accommodate our overseas customers by offering the lowest rate we could manage but with that came no way to actually track the package, lost and/or majorly delayed items, and a lot of refunds and unhappy people. I do hope you understand, and if you still want to order a card but want to take a chance with cheaper postage and no tracking, just send me a convo before ordering but please understand that I will not be offering refunds if the item gets lost. I’m very sorry! We love our international customers and this was a hard decision but the right one - I just want everyone to get their items!

Please also note for US customers that USPS has been experiencing major delays. We do our best to get all orders shipped as soon as possible, and all sales made within the US come with tracking info, but once the cards leave our hands we can not guarantee when the cards will arrive to their destination. I’ve been experiencing the same frustrations as a buyer, as well, so I get it! Please be patient with us, we want everyone to get their cards as fast as possible and to be happy!***


Welcome to my dark corner of the holiday card market. Here you will find creepy, offensive, and oddly original options for your card giving needs.

Every card in the shop is constantly being replenished, so if there is anything you want a larger quantity of, simply send me a convo.

A lot of my cards are seasonal, so stop back around Christmas and Valentines Day for porn-y and serial killer goodness.

****
I ship everything USPS First Class; if there is the rare circumstance preventing me from mailing it right away, I will contact you immediately with a status update. All domestic orders will have a tracking number attached to it, which you will receive via email. If you would like to upgrade shipping to Priority or better, please convo me and I will adjust the shipping fee on the item(s) you want accordingly. International orders do not come with tracking due to the high cost, but please let me know if you want to upgrade!

I am not responsible for items once they are handed over to the United States Postal Service, but if you haven't received your order within a week, please let me know -- I do not like unhappy customers, and I know how it feels to be on that end of a transaction!

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Erin Appledale

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Erin Appledale

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Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
(1673)
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About noncomposcards

Sales 5,455
On Etsy since 2009

I just wanted to make my friends cringe.

Shop members

  • Henry the Manservant

    Shipper, Assistant

    This is Henry the Manservant. When you place an order, he does all the grunt-work, such as assembling the product (our cards are 2 layers---we don't just print & fold!) & shipping. Basically, if there is a defect with your card, #blamehenry.

  • Erin Rachelle

    Owner, Creator, Customer Service

    Hola! I'm the brains behind this operation. All the cards are designed by me, and 99.9% of the convo replies come from me. Basically, if it sounds short and kind of grammatically-jarring, then lucky you!---you just received a convo from Henry.

Shop policies

Last updated on Feb 2, 2018

Shipping

See item details for estimated arrival times.

Customs and import taxes

Buyers are responsible for any customs and import taxes that may apply. I'm not responsible for delays due to customs.

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Returns & exchanges

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Cancellations

Cancellations: not accepted

Please contact the seller if you have any problems with your order.