noncomposcards

Hi, You've Reached the Anti-Hallmark.

861 Sales

noncomposcards

Hi, You've Reached the Anti-Hallmark.

861 Sales On Etsy since 2009

5 out of 5 stars
(311)

Announcement   Welcome to my dark corner of the holiday card market. Here you will find creepy, offensive, and oddly original options for your card giving needs.

Every card in the shop is constantly being replenished, so if there is anything you want a larger quantity of, simply send me a convo.

A lot of my cards are seasonal, so stop back around Halloween, Christmas and Valentines Day for porn-y and serial killer goodness.

****
I ship everything USPS First Class; if there is the rare circumstance preventing me from mailing it right away, I will contact you immediately with a status update. All domestic orders will have a tracking number attached to it, which you will receive via email. If you would like to upgrade shipping to Priority or better, please convo me and I will adjust the shipping fee on the item(s) you want accordingly. International orders do not come with tracking due to the high cost, but please let me know if you want to upgrade!

I am not responsible for items once they are handed over to the United States Postal Service, but if you haven't received your order within a week, please let me know -- I do not like unhappy customers, and I know how it feels to be on that end of a transaction!

Announcement
Last updated on Jan 24, 2016

Welcome to my dark corner of the holiday card market. Here you will find creepy, offensive, and oddly original options for your card giving needs.

Every card in the shop is constantly being replenished, so if there is anything you want a larger quantity of, simply send me a convo.

A lot of my cards are seasonal, so stop back around Halloween, Christmas and Valentines Day for porn-y and serial killer goodness.

****
I ship everything USPS First Class; if there is the rare circumstance preventing me from mailing it right away, I will contact you immediately with a status update. All domestic orders will have a tracking number attached to it, which you will receive via email. If you would like to upgrade shipping to Priority or better, please convo me and I will adjust the shipping fee on the item(s) you want accordingly. International orders do not come with tracking due to the high cost, but please let me know if you want to upgrade!

I am not responsible for items once they are handed over to the United States Postal Service, but if you haven't received your order within a week, please let me know -- I do not like unhappy customers, and I know how it feels to be on that end of a transaction!

Erin Appledale

Contact shop owner

Erin Appledale

Lizzie Borden Holiday Card killer macabre goth
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Bathory Christmas card dark humor offensive
US$5.00
Lizzie Borden Birthday Card
US$4.00
Vintage Porn Stars sheet of Valentines
US$6.00
Ed Kemper coed killer Valentine card
US$4.00
John Holmes Valentine Card
US$4.00
Debbie Does Dallas Valentine card
US$4.00
Long Dong Silver Valentine Card
US$4.00
Ted Bundy holiday card serial killers
US$5.00
serial killer birthday card
US$5.00
Typhoid Mary Christmas Card version 1
US$4.00
Jeffrey Dahmer Holiday Card
US$5.00
Richard Ramirez serial killer holiday card
US$4.00
HH Holmes Holiday Card
US$5.00
View all 102 items

Reviews

Average item review
5 out of 5 stars
(311)
AJ Gordon

AJ Gordon on Aug 18, 2016

5 out of 5 stars

Always a pleasure to do business with this babe!

View all 311 reviews

Updates

Quirky/creepy Son of Sam card: blank inside so it could be used for Valentine's Day or ANY day you want to let someone know you're thinking of them.

Tagged in this photo

About

I just wanted to make my friends cringe.

Back in the day, I used to blog on LiveJournal. Every December like clockwork, my LJ friends would start posting about wanting to do a Christmas Card swap. "Comment with your address and I'll send you a Xmas card!" You know the drill. I always thought it was kind of lame, because I'm anti-everything. But then one year, in 2006, I decided to participate and made my own COMMENT WITH YOUR ADDY OMG! post.

My boyfriend was all, "The FUCK are you doing?!" And then watched as I proceeded to print out sheet after sheet of serial killer faces, which I then cut out and glue to black construction paper. I handwrote every sickening greeting with a silver gel pen and then sent them on their way.

To my surprise, a lot of the people actually liked them.

A year later, I put a couple up for sale on my original Etsy shop, which was just paintings of monsters with disturbing stories. And they started to sell. I had 6 designs then. Baby, look at me now!

I would like to add here that I don't condone murder. I don't idolize serial killers. I don't think it's funny or awesome that people have died at their hands. It's more of an expression, a way for me to be tongue-in-cheek about Hallmark and the entire commercialized holiday card industry. I sure as hell don't want to send some crappy Thomas Kinkaid bullshit card to my friends for their birthdays, so this shop is there for all of the people out there who crave something different, a little bit of shock value. non compos cards is for YOU.

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Shop members
  • Henry the Manservant

    Shipper, Assistant

    This is Henry the Manservant. When you place an order, he does all the grunt-work, such as assembling the product (our cards are 2 layers---we don't just print & fold!) & shipping. Basically, if there is a defect with your card, #blamehenry.

  • Erin Rachelle

    Owner, Creator, Customer Service

    Hola! I'm the brains behind this operation. All the cards are designed by me, and 99.9% of the convo replies come from me. Basically, if it sounds short and kind of grammatically-jarring, then lucky you!---you just received a convo from Henry.

Shop policies

Last updated on September 11, 2014

Accepted payment methods

  • Pay with Visa
  • Pay with Master Card
  • Pay with American Express
  • Pay with Discover
  • Pay with PayPal
  • Buy with Apple Pay
  • Pay with Sofort
  • Pay with iDeal
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards
Shipping
I ship everything USPS First Class and every order is put in the mail the same day or the next day at the latest; if there is the rare circumstance preventing me from mailing it right away, I will contact you immediately with a status update. All domestic orders will have a tracking number attached to it, which you will receive via email. If you would like to upgrade shipping to Priority or better, please convo me and I will adjust the shipping fee on the item(s) you want accordingly.

I am not responsible for items once they are handed over to the United States Postal Service, but if you haven't received your order within a week, please let me know -- I do not like unhappy customers, and I know how it feels to be on that end of a transaction!