punchcards

Punch Cards

Springfield, Missouri · 916 Sales

punchcards

Punch Cards

Springfield, Missouri 916 Sales On Etsy since 2009

0 out of 5 stars
(130)

Shop owner

Annie

Contact

Announcement   FULL LIST of greeting card sentiments are listed below!!

All my cards are made with high quality paper and most cards are made with recycled or repurposed paper. All cards come with an envelope.

These cards are one of a kind, so I make the card at the time of purchase. This means the paper on the card you receive might vary some from the picture - all depending on what I have available. The sentiment of the card will stay the same.

I'm happy to personalize cards for that someone special in your life. i.e. "There is no one quiet like you, Lucy." If you'd like to add a persons name to the card just let me know in the Notes To The Seller section when checking out. If you have questions about this just shoot me a message.

* I'm happy to ship overseas. I've included a few countries that I ship to the most, however, I can ship anywhere. Message me for an estimate on shipping cost.

Hope you enjoy the cards!

Feel free to send me a message anytime for questions.

punchgreetingcards [!at] gmail.com
follow : @punchcards

~~~ CARD SENTIMENTS ARE LISTED BELOW ~~~

~ BEST SELLERS ~

My Favorite Things: My favorite thing is when we just...are. A simple moment. Quiet. Unassuming. And then you say something and suddenly the world looks different. Clearer. More beautiful. My second favorite thing is seeing you naked. It's a very close second.

All I Want: Baby, all I want for Valentine's Day is you. And a jetpack. New car, too. Cash would be good. Infinite power. The ability to beat up whomever I want. The ability to make someone's head explode if they type "lol." If a guy types "lol," the ability to make his balls explode. A talking dog. Robot babes galore. A bazooka. A dragon for a best friend. All of the dinosaurs to come back to life. All ghosts to be visible for a five minute period, once a day. The ability to walk up the side of a building upside down and be all like "aint no thang." The ability to barf on command. The ability to jump really high and shoot ninja stars.

Duel: I figure we have two options: we can either wish each other a happy Valentine's Day or we can finish this duel and murder each other.

Dynamite: I'm so glad we met. I can't wait to make a long series of horrible decisions together. Now pass me that dynamite.

Read My Mind: If you could read my mind you would know how special I think you are. You would know how much I love being with you. You would know that the world looks more alive and colorful because you're in it. Unfortunately, you would also know exactly how much I think about you naked. I'm so glad you can't read my mind.

Perfect: There is no one quite like you. There has never been anyone quite like you. There will never be anyone quite like you. You are perfect just the way you are.

Baby Thing: Congratulations! It's so awesome that he put his boy thing in your girl thing and it made a baby thing.

Favor Returned: Thank you for helping me through this tough time. I hope something really horrible happens to you so I can return the favor.

Bastard: Happy birthday, you bastard.

Once Upon A Time: Once Upon A Time there was a girl who loved a boy. And the boy loved the girl too. But love was not enough. Things got fucked up. I mean, really, really fucked up. The End.

The Things I Think About: The things I think about when you're talking are so interesting.


~ FRIENDSHIP CARDS ~

The Things I Think About: The things I think about when you're talking are so interesting.

Styrofoam Murder: After microwaving a hot pocket on a Styrofoam plate I found out Styrofoam disintegrates in microwaves. Wtf, you know? But here’s the thing: it only disintegrates if it's directly under the hot pocket. (I don't normally use Styrofoam so don’t judge me. I do normally eat hot pockets, however, so you should judge me on that one). But anyhoo, here’s my CSI idea: basically a murderer could kill someone with a Styrofoam knife, put the Styrofoam knife in a microwave directly under a hot pocket and BAM! Murder weapon G.O.N.E. Fucking brilliant, right???

Congrats: Congratulations!!! Sooooo, I face planted into a bar stool last night & woke up in a filthy hotel room barfing on the dick of some random chink whom I've never ever ever seen before. Anyhoo, many wishes for YOUR continued success...

Octopus On Fire: If I had to guess I'd say people describe me as someone who "acts like an octopus on fire who was molested by an uncle." People don't say that about you. People talk about your beauty, inside and out, and your amazing ability to see the best in people and some other shit.

Lance & Steven: I like to think of myself as a cross between Lance and Steven. You don't know them, but trust me. It's accurate.

Once Upon A Time: Once Upon A Time there was a girl who loved a boy. And the boy loved the girl too. But love was not enough. Things got fucked up. I mean, really, really fucked up. The End.

~ THANK YOU CARDS ~

Favor Returned: Thank you for helping me through this tough time. I hope something really horrible happens to you so I can return the favor.

~ BIRTHDAY CARDS ~
Bastard: Happy birthday, you bastard.

The Gift of Herpes: I used to party with this Mexican prostitute who would give 16-year-old virgins a deal on their birthday. It was super nice of her; those boys walked away having had an experience they would never forget. But they also walked away with genital herpes. And that’s when I realized – some gifts contain herpes. Anyway, happy birthday! I can’t wait for you to see what I got you!!

Birthday Hag: I’d like you to take a look at my genitalia. Tell me if the bumps are normal genitalia bumps (please tell me there is such a thing) or if it looks like, gasp, an alien had sex with my body and impregnated me with a zillion pimple babies. Don’t be afraid of the pus, they’ve been doing that all day. Oh! And where are my manners?!?! Happy birthday, you old hag!

Pretty: Don't I look pretty for your birthday?

IOU: Happy Birthday! This card entitles you to one kinky, sexual experience. The one you get to watch. Me have. With your family. Oh, just put in the DVD and press play.

3, 2, 1: Happy birthday to the man I love with all my heart. The man who is an amazing husband and father. The man who makes my heart skip a beat. The man who is going to watch me take my clothes off in 3, 2, 1...

~ BABY CARDS ~

Next Level: Let's stop having fun and start having kids.

Baby Thing: Congratulations! It's so awesome that he put his boy thing in your girl thing and it made a baby thing.

Perfect: There is no one quite like you. There has never been anyone quite like you. There will never be anyone quite like you. You are perfect just the way you are.

~ WEDDING/ENGAGMENT CARDS ~

Beautiful Bride: You're going to be the most beautiful bride, goddamn you.

Finding Love: It kills me to say this but congratulations on finding love.

Wise Words: May your marriage bring you warmth from the cold, shelter from the rain, and all the beauty the world has to offer. May you also be naked more than you are clothed.


MOTHERS/FATHERS DAY

Favorite: Happy Mother's Day! I know I'm your favorite child. Your secret is safe with me.

Poop: I feel so close to you when I think about how you used to clean poop off my butt.

To My Wife: Happy Mother’s Day to my wife. I’m so glad I put my boy thing in your girl thing and it made a baby thing.

Best Mom (or dad): You're the best mom a girl could ask for. You did a way better job than dad.

Cocaine: I’m not saying you did cocaine when you were pregnant with me. I’m just saying, “Did you do cocaine when you were pregnant with me”?? I need answers, woman!

Husband (or wife): Happy Mother's Day to the man who is my partner in everything…especially in fucking up the lives of our really cute kids.

Rousing: Happy Mother's Day! May I suggest a rousing day of church, brunch, and showing you how to use your remote control?

Undressing You: Happy mother’s day to the woman I love with all my heart. The woman who is an amazing mother to our children. The woman who takes my breath away. The woman I can’t imagine my life without. The woman I’m currently undressing with my eyes. Oh, heyyy there, hottie.

Alcoholism: Thank you for keeping your alcoholism (barely) in check all these years.

Crap: Of all your accomplishments you’re the most amazing at putting up with all my crap.

The Places I’ve Been: I feel so close to you when I think about how I once passed through your labia lips. Happy Mother's Day!


~ LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS/VALENTINE’S DAY CARDS ~

My Favorite Things: My favorite thing is when we just...are. A simple moment. Quiet. Unassuming. And then you say something and suddenly the world looks different. Clearer. More beautiful. My second favorite thing is seeing you naked. It's a very close second.

Read My Mind: If you could read my mind you would know how special I think you are. You would know how much I love being with you. You would know that the world looks more alive and colorful because you're in it. Unfortunately, you would also know exactly how much I think about you naked. I'm so glad you can't read my mind.

Perfect: There is no one quite like you. There has never been anyone quite like you. There will never be anyone quite like you. You are perfect just the way you are.

Easiest Thing: Loving you is the easiest thing I have ever done.

Kiss Me Already: Put down the card and kiss me already.

Every Bit: Every bit of me loves every bit of you.

Every Second: I love You. Every second of every single day.

Grow Old With me: I want every line in your face to be because I made you laugh. I want to make your heart swell with love like mine does for you. I want to give you the security of knowing there is always someone on your side. Grow old with me?

Face: I love your face.

Most Beautiful: Of all the things I've seen in this world, you are the most beautiful.

Adventure: We love because it's the only true adventure. That and anal.

Stick It In: All I really want for Valentine's Day is for you to let me stick it in your pooper.

Thinking About Having Sex With You: If my eyes glaze over while you're talking just know I'm thinking about having sex with you.

Kinky: Do you remember last week when I said, "we should totally try some kinky stuff"? And you said, "umm, yeah. I guess." Well, I just wanted to clarify; I wasn't talking about pink, furry handcuffs. I was talking about taking a poop on your boobs. Don't say anything now. I want you to think about it. Really, really think about it.

IOU: This card entitles you to one kinky, sexual experience. The one you get to watch. Me have. With your family. Oh, just put in the DVD and press play.

Safe Word: I want this birthday to be extra special. That's why I plan on ditching our safe word.

Dynamite: I'm so glad we met. I can't wait to make a long series of horrible decisions together. Now pass me that dynamite.

Chub: Woman, you give me a hard core chub.

Impregnate You: You make me want to get you naked and impregnate you.

Icing: Start with cuddling. The middle part should include weird sex stuff. It should end with me spread eagle eating icing out of a can.

You Have Me: I love you with all of my heart and with all of my penis.

Orgasms: Ooh ooh ooh I have an idea! Let's do that thing where we give each other orgasms! Then let's do that thing where we lay in bed telling jokes and giggling so hard I laugh your cum out of me.

You Make Me Feel Funny: You make my naughty parts feel funny.

Docking: 's the thing where you put your dick inside my dick? Yea! THAT! Let's do that.

My Favorite Place: My favorite place in the whole entire world is the place where our noses meet.

Duel: I figure we have two options: we can either wish each other a happy Valentine's Day or we can finish this duel and murder each other.
All I Want: Baby, all I want for Valentine's Day is you. And a jetpack. New car, too. Cash would be good. Infinite power. The ability to beat up whomever I want. The ability to make someone's head explode if they type "lol." If a guy types "lol," the ability to make his balls explode. A talking dog. Robot babes galore. A bazooka. A dragon for a best friend. All of the dinosaurs to come back to life. All ghosts to be visible for a five minute period, once a day. The ability to walk up the side of a building upside down and be all like "aint no thang." The ability to barf on command. The ability to jump really high and shoot ninja stars.

Marry You Hard: If this damn country would let me marry you, I so would. I'd marry you so hard.

Surprise Love: You deserve the best! That's why I'm going to put on that Mexican wrestling mask and "surprise" you in the alley behind our apartment tonight. Wear pigtails, ok? Oh, and if you're smart you'll lube up your backside.

Naughty Things: I wanna do naughty things with you.

Somewhere Beautiful: Let's take a train to Holland and bike the countryside. In San Francisco I want to drink whiskey with you and listen to homeless drunks tell jokes. I want to show you a tree I love; we can buy a blanket, lie underneath its branches, giggle and undress each other. Go camping in Yosemite with me? Take me to Prince Edward Island. I want to hold your hand there. Go somewhere beautiful with me?

3, 2, 1: Happy Valentine's Day to the man I love with all my heart. The man who is an amazing husband and father. The man who makes my heart skip a beat. The man who is going to watch me take my clothes off in 3, 2, 1...

Epic Blow Job: Happy Valentine's Day to my amazing husband. A man I adore with all of my heart. A man I can't imagine my life without. A man who is about to receive an epic blow job. Yep, you read that right.

Favorite Husband: You're my favorite husband.

Hot: You're so hot.

Partners: Happy Valentine's Day to the man who is my partner in everything...especially in screwing up the lives of our really cute kids.

Thank You: Thank you for having sex with me. (Please don't stop)

Falling: I'm falling for you.

Silly Holiday: I know Valentine's Day is just a silly holiday created to boost greeting card sales, but so help me Jesus, you better have bought me some good shit.

Announcement

FULL LIST of greeting card sentiments are listed below!!

All my cards are made with high quality paper and most cards are made with recycled or repurposed paper. All cards come with an envelope.

These cards are one of a kind, so I make the card at the time of purchase. This means the paper on the card you receive might vary some from the picture - all depending on what I have available. The sentiment of the card will stay the same.

I'm happy to personalize cards for that someone special in your life. i.e. "There is no one quiet like you, Lucy." If you'd like to add a persons name to the card just let me know in the Notes To The Seller section when checking out. If you have questions about this just shoot me a message.

* I'm happy to ship overseas. I've included a few countries that I ship to the most, however, I can ship anywhere. Message me for an estimate on shipping cost.

Hope you enjoy the cards!

Feel free to send me a message anytime for questions.

punchgreetingcards [!at] gmail.com
follow : @punchcards

~~~ CARD SENTIMENTS ARE LISTED BELOW ~~~

~ BEST SELLERS ~

My Favorite Things: My favorite thing is when we just...are. A simple moment. Quiet. Unassuming. And then you say something and suddenly the world looks different. Clearer. More beautiful. My second favorite thing is seeing you naked. It's a very close second.

All I Want: Baby, all I want for Valentine's Day is you. And a jetpack. New car, too. Cash would be good. Infinite power. The ability to beat up whomever I want. The ability to make someone's head explode if they type "lol." If a guy types "lol," the ability to make his balls explode. A talking dog. Robot babes galore. A bazooka. A dragon for a best friend. All of the dinosaurs to come back to life. All ghosts to be visible for a five minute period, once a day. The ability to walk up the side of a building upside down and be all like "aint no thang." The ability to barf on command. The ability to jump really high and shoot ninja stars.

Duel: I figure we have two options: we can either wish each other a happy Valentine's Day or we can finish this duel and murder each other.

Dynamite: I'm so glad we met. I can't wait to make a long series of horrible decisions together. Now pass me that dynamite.

Read My Mind: If you could read my mind you would know how special I think you are. You would know how much I love being with you. You would know that the world looks more alive and colorful because you're in it. Unfortunately, you would also know exactly how much I think about you naked. I'm so glad you can't read my mind.

Perfect: There is no one quite like you. There has never been anyone quite like you. There will never be anyone quite like you. You are perfect just the way you are.

Baby Thing: Congratulations! It's so awesome that he put his boy thing in your girl thing and it made a baby thing.

Favor Returned: Thank you for helping me through this tough time. I hope something really horrible happens to you so I can return the favor.

Bastard: Happy birthday, you bastard.

Once Upon A Time: Once Upon A Time there was a girl who loved a boy. And the boy loved the girl too. But love was not enough. Things got fucked up. I mean, really, really fucked up. The End.

The Things I Think About: The things I think about when you're talking are so interesting.


~ FRIENDSHIP CARDS ~

The Things I Think About: The things I think about when you're talking are so interesting.

Styrofoam Murder: After microwaving a hot pocket on a Styrofoam plate I found out Styrofoam disintegrates in microwaves. Wtf, you know? But here’s the thing: it only disintegrates if it's directly under the hot pocket. (I don't normally use Styrofoam so don’t judge me. I do normally eat hot pockets, however, so you should judge me on that one). But anyhoo, here’s my CSI idea: basically a murderer could kill someone with a Styrofoam knife, put the Styrofoam knife in a microwave directly under a hot pocket and BAM! Murder weapon G.O.N.E. Fucking brilliant, right???

Congrats: Congratulations!!! Sooooo, I face planted into a bar stool last night & woke up in a filthy hotel room barfing on the dick of some random chink whom I've never ever ever seen before. Anyhoo, many wishes for YOUR continued success...

Octopus On Fire: If I had to guess I'd say people describe me as someone who "acts like an octopus on fire who was molested by an uncle." People don't say that about you. People talk about your beauty, inside and out, and your amazing ability to see the best in people and some other shit.

Lance & Steven: I like to think of myself as a cross between Lance and Steven. You don't know them, but trust me. It's accurate.

Once Upon A Time: Once Upon A Time there was a girl who loved a boy. And the boy loved the girl too. But love was not enough. Things got fucked up. I mean, really, really fucked up. The End.

~ THANK YOU CARDS ~

Favor Returned: Thank you for helping me through this tough time. I hope something really horrible happens to you so I can return the favor.

~ BIRTHDAY CARDS ~
Bastard: Happy birthday, you bastard.

The Gift of Herpes: I used to party with this Mexican prostitute who would give 16-year-old virgins a deal on their birthday. It was super nice of her; those boys walked away having had an experience they would never forget. But they also walked away with genital herpes. And that’s when I realized – some gifts contain herpes. Anyway, happy birthday! I can’t wait for you to see what I got you!!

Birthday Hag: I’d like you to take a look at my genitalia. Tell me if the bumps are normal genitalia bumps (please tell me there is such a thing) or if it looks like, gasp, an alien had sex with my body and impregnated me with a zillion pimple babies. Don’t be afraid of the pus, they’ve been doing that all day. Oh! And where are my manners?!?! Happy birthday, you old hag!

Pretty: Don't I look pretty for your birthday?

IOU: Happy Birthday! This card entitles you to one kinky, sexual experience. The one you get to watch. Me have. With your family. Oh, just put in the DVD and press play.

3, 2, 1: Happy birthday to the man I love with all my heart. The man who is an amazing husband and father. The man who makes my heart skip a beat. The man who is going to watch me take my clothes off in 3, 2, 1...

~ BABY CARDS ~

Next Level: Let's stop having fun and start having kids.

Baby Thing: Congratulations! It's so awesome that he put his boy thing in your girl thing and it made a baby thing.

Perfect: There is no one quite like you. There has never been anyone quite like you. There will never be anyone quite like you. You are perfect just the way you are.

~ WEDDING/ENGAGMENT CARDS ~

Beautiful Bride: You're going to be the most beautiful bride, goddamn you.

Finding Love: It kills me to say this but congratulations on finding love.

Wise Words: May your marriage bring you warmth from the cold, shelter from the rain, and all the beauty the world has to offer. May you also be naked more than you are clothed.


MOTHERS/FATHERS DAY

Favorite: Happy Mother's Day! I know I'm your favorite child. Your secret is safe with me.

Poop: I feel so close to you when I think about how you used to clean poop off my butt.

To My Wife: Happy Mother’s Day to my wife. I’m so glad I put my boy thing in your girl thing and it made a baby thing.

Best Mom (or dad): You're the best mom a girl could ask for. You did a way better job than dad.

Cocaine: I’m not saying you did cocaine when you were pregnant with me. I’m just saying, “Did you do cocaine when you were pregnant with me”?? I need answers, woman!

Husband (or wife): Happy Mother's Day to the man who is my partner in everything…especially in fucking up the lives of our really cute kids.

Rousing: Happy Mother's Day! May I suggest a rousing day of church, brunch, and showing you how to use your remote control?

Undressing You: Happy mother’s day to the woman I love with all my heart. The woman who is an amazing mother to our children. The woman who takes my breath away. The woman I can’t imagine my life without. The woman I’m currently undressing with my eyes. Oh, heyyy there, hottie.

Alcoholism: Thank you for keeping your alcoholism (barely) in check all these years.

Crap: Of all your accomplishments you’re the most amazing at putting up with all my crap.

The Places I’ve Been: I feel so close to you when I think about how I once passed through your labia lips. Happy Mother's Day!


~ LOVE/RELATIONSHIPS/VALENTINE’S DAY CARDS ~

My Favorite Things: My favorite thing is when we just...are. A simple moment. Quiet. Unassuming. And then you say something and suddenly the world looks different. Clearer. More beautiful. My second favorite thing is seeing you naked. It's a very close second.

Read My Mind: If you could read my mind you would know how special I think you are. You would know how much I love being with you. You would know that the world looks more alive and colorful because you're in it. Unfortunately, you would also know exactly how much I think about you naked. I'm so glad you can't read my mind.

Perfect: There is no one quite like you. There has never been anyone quite like you. There will never be anyone quite like you. You are perfect just the way you are.

Easiest Thing: Loving you is the easiest thing I have ever done.

Kiss Me Already: Put down the card and kiss me already.

Every Bit: Every bit of me loves every bit of you.

Every Second: I love You. Every second of every single day.

Grow Old With me: I want every line in your face to be because I made you laugh. I want to make your heart swell with love like mine does for you. I want to give you the security of knowing there is always someone on your side. Grow old with me?

Face: I love your face.

Most Beautiful: Of all the things I've seen in this world, you are the most beautiful.

Adventure: We love because it's the only true adventure. That and anal.

Stick It In: All I really want for Valentine's Day is for you to let me stick it in your pooper.

Thinking About Having Sex With You: If my eyes glaze over while you're talking just know I'm thinking about having sex with you.

Kinky: Do you remember last week when I said, "we should totally try some kinky stuff"? And you said, "umm, yeah. I guess." Well, I just wanted to clarify; I wasn't talking about pink, furry handcuffs. I was talking about taking a poop on your boobs. Don't say anything now. I want you to think about it. Really, really think about it.

IOU: This card entitles you to one kinky, sexual experience. The one you get to watch. Me have. With your family. Oh, just put in the DVD and press play.

Safe Word: I want this birthday to be extra special. That's why I plan on ditching our safe word.

Dynamite: I'm so glad we met. I can't wait to make a long series of horrible decisions together. Now pass me that dynamite.

Chub: Woman, you give me a hard core chub.

Impregnate You: You make me want to get you naked and impregnate you.

Icing: Start with cuddling. The middle part should include weird sex stuff. It should end with me spread eagle eating icing out of a can.

You Have Me: I love you with all of my heart and with all of my penis.

Orgasms: Ooh ooh ooh I have an idea! Let's do that thing where we give each other orgasms! Then let's do that thing where we lay in bed telling jokes and giggling so hard I laugh your cum out of me.

You Make Me Feel Funny: You make my naughty parts feel funny.

Docking: 's the thing where you put your dick inside my dick? Yea! THAT! Let's do that.

My Favorite Place: My favorite place in the whole entire world is the place where our noses meet.

Duel: I figure we have two options: we can either wish each other a happy Valentine's Day or we can finish this duel and murder each other.
All I Want: Baby, all I want for Valentine's Day is you. And a jetpack. New car, too. Cash would be good. Infinite power. The ability to beat up whomever I want. The ability to make someone's head explode if they type "lol." If a guy types "lol," the ability to make his balls explode. A talking dog. Robot babes galore. A bazooka. A dragon for a best friend. All of the dinosaurs to come back to life. All ghosts to be visible for a five minute period, once a day. The ability to walk up the side of a building upside down and be all like "aint no thang." The ability to barf on command. The ability to jump really high and shoot ninja stars.

Marry You Hard: If this damn country would let me marry you, I so would. I'd marry you so hard.

Surprise Love: You deserve the best! That's why I'm going to put on that Mexican wrestling mask and "surprise" you in the alley behind our apartment tonight. Wear pigtails, ok? Oh, and if you're smart you'll lube up your backside.

Naughty Things: I wanna do naughty things with you.

Somewhere Beautiful: Let's take a train to Holland and bike the countryside. In San Francisco I want to drink whiskey with you and listen to homeless drunks tell jokes. I want to show you a tree I love; we can buy a blanket, lie underneath its branches, giggle and undress each other. Go camping in Yosemite with me? Take me to Prince Edward Island. I want to hold your hand there. Go somewhere beautiful with me?

3, 2, 1: Happy Valentine's Day to the man I love with all my heart. The man who is an amazing husband and father. The man who makes my heart skip a beat. The man who is going to watch me take my clothes off in 3, 2, 1...

Epic Blow Job: Happy Valentine's Day to my amazing husband. A man I adore with all of my heart. A man I can't imagine my life without. A man who is about to receive an epic blow job. Yep, you read that right.

Favorite Husband: You're my favorite husband.

Hot: You're so hot.

Partners: Happy Valentine's Day to the man who is my partner in everything...especially in screwing up the lives of our really cute kids.

Thank You: Thank you for having sex with me. (Please don't stop)

Falling: I'm falling for you.

Silly Holiday: I know Valentine's Day is just a silly holiday created to boost greeting card sales, but so help me Jesus, you better have bought me some good shit.

Annie

Contact shop owner

Annie

Reviews

No reviews in the last year
Vincent Vo

Vincent Vo on Dec 14, 2015

5 out of 5 stars

Very beautifully made and hilarious.

Vincent Vo

Vincent Vo on Dec 14, 2015

5 out of 5 stars

Very beautifully made and hilarious.

Vincent Vo

Vincent Vo on Dec 14, 2015

5 out of 5 stars

Very beautifully made and hilarious.

Ashley Moore

Ashley Moore on Mar 16, 2015

4 out of 5 stars

Funny and well made. Thank you!

Nick Sannella

Nick Sannella on Feb 13, 2015

5 out of 5 stars

Great card as always! The wife loved it.

View all 130 reviews

About

Non-traditional cards for the naughty in all of us

I love cards. I love getting them in the mail or for a birthday. A handwritten message inside. Beautiful paper or sentiment.

I started making greeting cards because the ones in the stores just didn't say exactly what I felt. Sometimes you want to say something so incredibly sweet the person receiving the card sighs with love. And sometimes you want to say something so gross the person receiving the card starts gagging. And sometimes you want to say something sexy or funny or strange or weird, just something out of the ordinary. Something special! Something they'll remember! That's what I strive to do with my greeting card line.

I love making pretty cards. And I love making them with dirty, sexy, loving, or weird sentiments. Juxtaposition rules! I'm a sweet girl with a dirty mind so I might as well put it to good use, eh? These aren't your average cards but I hope you like them anyway.

I make all my cards at the time of purchase. This allows me to customize or add a special message, if the buyer requests. I have a large supply of paper and ribbons on hand to make the card asap.

Tweet

Shop members

  • Annie Crum

    Owner, Maker, Designer, Curator

    I love scissors and paper and making beautiful handmade cards.

Shop policies

Last updated on February 6, 2012
Welcome to Punch Cards! I created Punch Cards to offer you quality, unique, handmade cards with funny, quirky, offensive, dirty, weird, or even super sweet sentiments. You won't find cards like these at your local Walgreen's. I love making beautiful cards with dirty or weird sentiments; juxtaposition rules.

I'm happy to personalize any of my cards for your loved one. I also take special requests i.e. if you'd like the inside joke you share with your sweetheart to be forever immortalized on a greeting card. Charges will apply for both.

Accepted payment methods

  • Pay with Visa
  • Pay with Master Card
  • Pay with American Express
  • Pay with Discover
  • Pay with PayPal
  • Buy with Apple Pay
  • Pay with Sofort
  • Pay with iDeal
  • Accepts Etsy gift cards
Payment
I accept PayPal. Please note: funds must be received in my PayPal account before your item will ship. If you are having technical difficulties with PayPal, please contact me to let me know to avoid the cancellation of your purchase.
Shipping
All orders will be shipped in a padded or protective cardboard envelope via USPS regular first class mail. As everything in the shop is made to order, I will need two days to work on your card.

Since I use USPS regular first class mail there is no guaranteed delivery date. If you need your card in hand by a certain date convo me and I can calculate priority or express shipping costs for you.

The shipping charge includes both the cost of shipping and the materials used.

If you wish for your card to be insured, I am happy to do so but an additional charge will apply. Contact me through Etsy first and I will give you a quote.

If you have a special shipping request, i.e. priority/express/international, convo me prior to your purchase and we'll work out pricing, etc.

International: I've added shipping prices to countries I ship to the most. If you don't see your country listed, I can still ship to you. Convo me and I'll calculate a shipping price to your location and create a listing for you on etsy.
Refunds and Exchanges
I want you to be 100% happy with your purchase. If it is not what you want I'm happy to work something out with you.

Full returns will be accepted within 14 days of receipt. Contact me through Etsy or at punchgreetingcards [!at] gmail.com and I will send you mailing instructions and will refund your purchase price (shipping charges are non-refundable).

After 14 days, returns are accepted for exchange only.

After 45 days, no exchanges or returns will be accepted.

Exception : Custom orders are NOT returnable or refundable.

Please note: my cards are unique, handmade at the time of purchase and won't necessarily look like the card in the picture. The sentiment will stay the same.
Additional policies and FAQs
PLEASE NOTE: All greeting cards are created by hand, so no two items are identical. That’s the beauty of these cards! Please allow for variances from what is shown in the product photos.